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  • Day 250 Befores and Afters

    1 week ago

    SailorGirl81 Keeper Of Kittens

    I made some pours this morning that I really, really hope don't change during drying like the ones from yesterday did. 

    So, here are 3 pours from yesterday, first wet, then dry. 

    #1 Wet

    (This wasn't actually a pour, more like a smearing over)


    #1 Dry


    #2 Wet


    #2 Dry (It took me a while to decide this was the dry version)


    And #3 wet:


    And #3 Dry


    Obviously I poured a little more paint on the bottom, but still...

    I was using craft paint with sparkles/glitter in it and I have to say it didn't work at all. I'll probably pour over these canvas boards  in the near future. 

    FYI- I am going to the Adirondacks tomorrow  for a en plein-aire water color workshop and won't be back until late on Thursday. I doubt they have reliable internet up there so I will be making a catch up entry once I come back. 

    Hopefully I'll paint at least one or two decent pieces. I don't really consider myself a watercolorist-I just have fun. 

  • Designing Cooperative Games Around Cooperative Play.

    2 weeks ago


    A lot of people play games together.

    More than 50 percent of the most frequent gamers within the United States play games with other people (, 2015). Australian gamers also play cooperatively with 61 percent of Australian gamers reporting to play games with children and 44 percent of gamers also claiming to play with their partners (, 2015)).  It is clear with these findings that cooperative gaming and the genre of cooperative games is a huge part of the industry. Despite this however, there is not a huge pool of cooperative game design articles and research papers. This written piece will aim to discuss the customs of cooperative game design according to the findings and observations throughout the very few articles, GDC talks and the likes that do touch on the matter.

    Shared Intentionality.

    In Keith Burgun’s book, Game Design Theory it is said that any good game designer will benefit from learning about psychology as “psychology is the study of human behaviour, and games are machines for human behaviour to attach to”, when two gamers are in the mix and are playing cooperatively a designer must make many different considerations to ensure both players are getting the intended experience from the video game. Before considering what game design choices to make in cooperative game design it must be known why any two players would cooperate in the first place. In his 2011 GDC talk on cooperative game design (, 2011) Patrick Redding discusses some of the reasonings behind why players work with one another. One of the key discussion points to unpack from the conference was the idea of Shared Intentionality. Shared intentionality is a trait that allows people to collaborate in unique ways. Shared Intentionality it is a point of differentiation in humans among other species that allows for the ability to participate and collaborate with others in activities where a goal or intention is shared (South Eastern Louisiana University, 2017). Shared intentionality reflects on the basis that “players become invested in the success of collaborative partners” (, 2011).  This idea implies that “players can derive satisfaction from meaningful cooperation”, meaningful cooperation being cooperating in a way that is important or useful to the player’s success in the game and has “recognizable function in the logic of the game systems”.

    Cooperative games in the early Xbox 360 days.

    With the knowledge of Shared Intentionality and the consideration that players are more willing to cooperate if it is a key component of the game’s systems, it can be said that designing cooperative games extends further than simply adding a second player with an accompanying screen and adjusting opposition and resources/player’s tools to suit. The franchise Gears of War (, 2017) is often spoken within the same breath as the term co-op, this is because unlike developers such as Bungie, Epic Games approached their cooperative campaign with cooperative gameplay in mind rather than simply slapping on a second player to the campaign, which is what occurred within Halo 3(, 2017). It is with examples from these two core franchises and others that the elements of cooperative game design will be discussed to aid other game designers to not design a great video game, but a great cooperative video game experience where cooperative gameplay as its core focus.

    A greater percentage of players show interest in Gears of War Co-op than Halo Coop.

    The two games in question are incredibly similar, Halo 3 and Gears of War both released within a few years of the launch of the Xbox 360. They are both shooters, first and third person respectively and they have both earned an aggregate rating of 94 out of 100 on Metascore (, 2007). However similar, it is no secret that the Halo franchise is more popular than the Gears of War franchise, proven as the Halo franchise constantly out sells the other console exclusive (, 2016). An interesting finding is that despite the disparity in popularity, interest in the coop-ability of the games is far more existent in Gears of War players than Halo players. When running a Google Trends comparison on how many times the term “Halo coop” and “Gears of War coop” have been searched, Halo only takes this win by %40. This percentage may seem significant until it is realised that Google users show just under 5 times more interest in the Halo franchise.

    These findings may occur because “Co-Op play is top notch” (, 2017) and because “Co-op is a tremendous part of the Gears of War experience. (When) playing alone, it simply feels like half a game” (, 2017). In contrast, “Halo 3 is more traditional with its …co-op campaign that is fun, but not earth shattering.” (IGN, 2008). With this the conclusion can be made that out of all who play either game a far larger percentage of Gear of War players show interest in the cooperative gameplay of Gears of War than the percentage of Halo players that show interest in that respective franchise’s co-op gameplay. If the Halo franchise is so beloved, why is there so much more interest by players in playing Gears of War cooperatively? The simple answer must be in the way in which Bungie and Epic approached designing co-op play in each title.

    Designing cooperative play in cooperative games.

    When a cooperative game is released successful it usually does so if cooperative gameplay is considered throughout all aspects of the games development and design. The mechanics, the game’s story and level design decisions must all been made with cooperative play in mind.

    Within Gears of War the story and the mechanics not only support one another, but they also support cooperative play. Gears of War is a game in which the games characters comprise of a team called Delta Squad, the team must work together via cover-dependant tactics to overcome encounters and obstacles. The idea of cooperating is reinforced by it being an essential element within the game’s gameplay mechanics and the story surrounding it. In contrast Halo 3, like the two games before it, is a first-person shooter with Sci Fi elements, the main purpose of the game is to continue and complete the story of Master Chief, the franchises’ protagonist, unlike in Gears of War the mechanics and story of Halo revolve around one character, Master Chief. Despite encountering other characters, the focus is put on Master Chief’s story and his efforts rather than how well he works with those he teams up with.


    All design decisions in a cooperative game should be made with cooperative play in mind, as one of the core elements of a game is the mechanics within it, the mechanics themselves should support cooperative gameplay. Patrick Redding discusses (, 2017) the different types of “cooperative dynamics” that should be considered when implementing and designing mechanics in a cooperative game.

    Asymmetric Abilities

    Asymmetric abilities are, as the name suggests, a cooperative dynamic where players have access to different abilities. The most common way to implement this in the design of a cooperative game is through character/class selection and/or having customisation/skill trees.

    Board game developer Corey Konieczka states “that having unique characters really helps players feel like individuals (). If (players) have the same strengths and capabilities, then it is difficult for (them) to identify with anything on a personal level” (Mechanics & meeples, 2013). An example of a cooperative video game where this approach is prominent and often complimented is in Payday 2 (, 2017), “Payday 2’s skill trees and perk decks give players a wide range of defining a build that they can use” (Tim Klewitz, 2015). 

    Synergy (, 2017) between players is made possible due to asymmetric abilities as some of them may only work or will work better with one another. By designing abilities in ways where some work well and more effectively together, players will feel more inclined to cooperate in order experience the most fruitful results.

    One of the dynamics which Halo 3 had subtly implemented but Gear of War had not was asymmetric abilities. Although no perks or classes are present, in the Bungie title each player in the Halo 3 campaign spawns with different weaponry that is dependent on which character they play(, 2017). Unlike this, in Gears of War, all the players are provided with the same equipment and abilities despite playing different characters. In Gears of War, asymmetric abilities are not present until players pick up weapons as they progress. Similarly, so, the abilities only differ in Halo 3 with reference to the weaponry available that is provided to players. When this occurs and players have different weapons, the effects of asymmetric abilities are in place however “the divisions between a tank, a healer, or a damage dealer -- allows players to differentiate themselves and their behaviours from others” (Mathew Kumar, 2017) in a far more effective way than simply having different weaponry.

    Asymmetric abilities do not need to be a constant in cooperative game. When asymmetric abilities aren’t present all players are equally powerful, no one player is in more risk of death than another throughout gameplay. This may make players feel more unified. The strategies that tie along with cover based mechanics, such as those in Gears of War may allow for a lack of asymmetric abilities to not hinder the cooperative feel of the game as cooperative strategic play is still in place despite the similar move sets and abilities.

    Combined Actions

    Asymmetric abilities and differing skills are components that aid in implementing another dynamic known as combined actions. The premise of combined actions is designing encounters that can utilise multiple skill sets and/or abilities but ultimately it is designing challenges which one player cannot tackle by themselves or challenges which cooperative play compliments. (Mathew Kumar, 2017). In these scenarios, players will have to adapt to different roles. These roles may be based off the different abilities of each player’s character or are delegated due to each player skills.

    Implementing Asymmetric Abilities and Combined Actions.

    Act 2: Nightfall (, 2017) sees the players of Gears of War experiencing both asymmetric abilities and combined actions. At the end of this act the players find themselves driving an armoured vehicle with an ultraviolet light attached to it that Kryll (bat like enemies) are vulnerable to. With one player driving and the other aiming the light at the Kryll, both players have access to different mechanics (asymmetric abilities) that must be used in unison (combined actions) to progress through the campaign (combined actions). In this sequence players must divide power between the engine and the turret, this mechanic forces players to have to communicate and cooperate as they need to both murder the Kryll to avoid being killed and progress through the level.

    The final mission of the Halo 3 campaign (, 2017) finds players in a similar scenario where they must drive an armoured vehicle with a mounted weapon through a branching but linear path. The difference in this scenario is that both players can chose between the driver’s seat, passenger seat and turret, and can even separate into two vehicles if they wish. The main challenge of this segment is manoeuvring through the level, when this mission is played through separately the AI accompanying the player rarely do much and the only role the solo player can take is as the driver, in contrast when the aforementioned Gears of War mission is played through by one player, they have access to both shooting and driving as both roles are important in passing the segment.  Bungies approach to this type of mission lead to an absence of mechanic forcing players to have to cooperate, one player is driving through the level choosing the most optimum path while the other simply shoots at the Flood (swarming enemies) that they pass.

    The dialogue in this segment of game also enforces that the only real role here is driving. Even when playing through cooperatively, at the final jump the dialogue: “You’ve done it chief! Jump. floor it, right into the hangar” is heard. This dialogue not only addresses the 1st player’s character, Masterchief but it also shows no acknowledgment of the 2nd Players assistance or lack thereof.

    Exotic Challenges

    Exotic challenges are implemented when the normal camera and controls have been altered or replaced with something else.  Different and unique perspectives and controls allow for different types of gameplay, when implementing exotic challenges, the same risks and threats should still be applicable. If a player is by themselves they are at a greater risk of danger than they would be if they have an accompanying player to assist, protect and support them. A popular example of this kind of mechanic is in any situation where one player is immobile and undergoing a new type of scenario while their team mate/s protects their body. 

    Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 2 (, 2017) brings the introduction to a killstreak/reward known as the predator missile/drone. When a predator drone is earned, and used the player opens a laptop, briefly loses control over their normal mechanics in favour of the ability to direct the course of a missile from a top down perspective. After sighting a position on the map, the player directs the missile heading toward the ground and ultimately at their opposition. In Modern Warfare 2 there is a mission known as Sniper Fi (, 2017) as a part of their Spec Ops missions which can be played cooperatively. When done so the dynamic of the predator missile is vastly different and utilises an exotic challenge where a player is safer when cooperating. When one player initiates the predator drone their body is unprotected as their current perspective is fixed on the predator drone, for the brief time they are in control of the drone the only way their body can be defended is if their partner protects them.

    Buffing Systems

    “Sometimes games provide players with abilities that can only be used on another player” (, 2017) these abilities fall under the cooperative dynamic known as buffing systems. Buffing systems are one of the only types of mechanics that works exclusively in cooperative gameplay, be it cooperating with other players or AI characters. Buffing Systems are mechanics implemented in gameplay where one cooperative partner makes another more powerful. Buffing systems are often voluntarily used. By having one player literally supporting another, cooperative play is not only encouraged but it provides for a greater opportunity at success.

    Team Fortress 2 (, 2017) is a cooperative class and team based shooter. Players have access to a class called the Medic that’s sole purpose is to support their team mates. The Medic’s secondary weapon slot can only be filled with weapons that have zero adversarial ability but have buffing systems in place instead. The Medic’s stock secondary weapon is a Medi Gun, “Despite technically being a weapon, the Medi Gun's chief purpose is healing injured allies and boosting the total health of the target up to 150%, also called over healing or buffing” (, 2017). When a player is buffing a team mate, not only are they aiding them but they are also reliant on them for protection as they are occupied with healing rather than protecting themselves and inflicting damage to their opponents. Buffing systems are also present in multiple of the Medic’s unlockable primary weapons. The Medic’s primary weapon is the main way they can inflict damage on their enemies, however when primary weapons such as the Crusader’s Crossbow are equipped and a player shoots a team mate, their team mate is positively affected. When buffing systems are implemented cooperating teams are given a competitive advantage and cooperating is made almost a compulsory component of gameplay as a whole set of mechanics are reliant on cooperative play in order to be effective.

    Level design

    Cooperative games should be designed with cooperative play in mind. This contention is one that is strongly applicable to the area of mechanics, as the mechanics directly outline what cooperative play takes place. No less important are the spaces and areas that these mechanics are used, implemented and introduced in. In cooperative play, multiple players are moving throughout the level. The paths they take, enemies they encounter and resources they have access to must be designed to accommodate this. Level design decisions must also be made with cooperative play in mind. The job of a level designer is a “highly collaborative job (that) demands the designer work in sync with combat systems designers, mission designers” (, 2017) and all other aspects of the games development to ensure unison in the overall product of the game. It is key that the importance of cooperative play is at the forefront of all decisions, including the decisions of level designers.


    Cédric Hauteville defines gating as “a level design technique that consists in confining the player to a small area and/or blocking the access to another area, until the player completes a given objective or makes a specific action” (, 2011).  In a cooperative campaign, unlike a solo or single player one, two or more player controlled characters are interacting with the level and progressing through it. Each player with differing skills, different play styles and paces. Gating or tethering can be used as a method of ensuring that players do not separate too much. Gating can achieve this by introducing situations where one player cannot advance without the other player being present. No one player can proceed unless all players can proceed.

    In Halo 3, when the leading player reaches a new checkpoint or loading zone in the cooperative campaign, the other players that are far away from them are teleported there without warning or hesitation. Although this may bring players physically closer together, with this method pieces of gameplay can be skipped completely by those being jumped forward. In addition, this mechanic only supports players with the quickest pace/play style.

    “In Splinter Cell: Chaos Theory () and Splinter Cell: Double Agent (), dual actions enable players to do a variety of moves such as boosting or launching the other player across a large gap” (, 2017). Implementing the previously listed as well as situations where both players must be present at exotic doors in order to open them (, 2017) ensures that one player cannot advance through the level by themselves and that no player misses any of the gameplay or level. Progressing through the level is impossible without players playing cooperatively. When two players must work together to progress through a level, cooperatively play is ensured and supported. When one player is being skipped forward to the leading player such as in Halo, one player not only misses on some of the experience but only the quickest play style is supported.

    Separating Players

    In some situations, it may be advantageous to separate cooperating players to enhance cooperative gameplay. One type of Challenge that should be considered when designing levels and missions in cooperative games are Physical challenges “These challenges involve real-life physical effort. These can be used to promote cooperative play by making the challenges involve physical effort that can’t be done by a single player” (, 2017).

    The first time this type of level dynamic is introduced in Gears of War is in the aptly named level Fork In The Road (, 2017). In this mission players reach a point in the level with multiple routes, they have free choice over which route they take although they cannot choose the same one. In this mission, the split paths provide opportunities that enable players to access to angles where they can flank enemies that are preventing their team mate from progressing. If the Delta Squad didn’t separate this segment wouldn’t have been possible to pass as the path needed to be taken to unlock the doors was blocked by enemies with an advantageous view that needed to be flanked by those who took the opposing route. Both pathways were equally crucial in this segment, whether it was to flank enemies blocking the unlock button for the doors, or simply those who did unlock the doors once the enemies were flanked.


    Another way to enforce cooperative play when designing levels is via the inclusion of traps. Traps are devices or situations that “harm” or disable the player that triggered the trap. The way traps can be utilised in cooperative games is by ensuring that when one player is effected by the trap and ultimately becomes trapped they become immobile and/or defenceless. When this occurs, it will then have to be made the accompanying players responsibility and priority to help aid them and restore the trapped player’s full move set, normally this must be done so within a limited amount of time otherwise penalties, most commonly death will take effect.

    Traps are a form of punitive system (, 2017) that enforce cooperation by making it a necessity for success, punitive systems are also implemented when a player is downed but not out, such as in Gears of War. The player who is trapped (or downed) is being punished for getting trapped by losing access to mechanics, their team mate is punished if they do not aid the trapped player as this usually results in failure or will have negative effects on a team’s score. By making cooperation a priority and punishing the team as a unit, communication and cooperation become key components to ensure a maximum chance at success.

    Although also a mechanical implementation, it was a Level Designer’s role to dictate where Smokers would be placed in the game Left 4 Dead (, 2017). “Left 4 Dead is a single player and multiplayer cooperative survival horror FPS game” (, 2017) with many enemy types. Smokers (, 2017) are a type of Special infected, a greater variant of the main opposition in the game. Smokers are essentially AI with a trap-like ability. When a smoker grabs a player, the player loses access to many of their abilities and is slowly pulled toward the smoker to be either clawed at or choked to death unless they can escape its grip. When a player is caught by a smoker the quickest and most successful way the player can be freed from the smoker’s grip is by having a team mate kill the smoker or destroy the tongue, freeing the player.

    Mission Types

    The missions that take place within a game must be designed and implemented collaboratively with the designer of the levels that the mission takes place in. Some of the common types of missions that exist are protect and escort missions. Protect missions normally entail players holding down and protecting an area or the area surrounding a key object while waves of enemies attack their position. The design and implementation of missions and the types of missions in cooperative games must be done so with cooperative play in mind.


    In protect missions, one approach designers can take to encourage players “to cooperate together is by making players defend either a location, a character or even an item” (, 2017). When an area needs to be guarded from waves of enemies, having multiple players allows for multiple skills sets, at times different abilities (depending on the game) and most commonly different perspectives. In protect missions, if levels are designed where enemies enter form different routes, cooperation becomes an important component in increasing player’s chances at success. One player can only attack what is in their field of view, having two players increases the angle players have on opposition. If a player becomes overwhelmed communication becomes a key component in ensuring survival.


    Escort missions are another type of mission that can be carefully implemented to enforce cooperative play. Escort missions involve players escorting an AI character or an item across from one place to another. When items or characters are being escorted they are usually key victory conditions of the game or specific missions. The Escort archetype often coincides as a type of punitive system because often the player escorting a character or item is defenceless and therefore is reliant on their team mates for protection.

    Protect against those Escorting

    Tom Clancy's Rainbow Six Siege (, 2017) is a cooperative multiplayer first person shooter where two teams (attackers and defenders) must perform one another. One of the PVP game modes is Hostage (, 2017), in this game mode the defenders play a Protect type mission while the Attackers play a Hostage one. The Defenders have the hostage at ransom and obtain a victory if the hostage is not killed or extracted and at least one team member is alive before time runs out. The Attacker’s main objective is to extract the hostage and escort them to the extraction zone before time runs out.

    The Defending teams must cooperate in covering different angles, using different abilities and traps to outsmart their opposition. The Attackers must work together tactically as funnelling into the protected room one by one will often yield poor results.  Further, when a player is escorting the hostage their movement speed is lower and they only have access to their secondary weapon, because of this they are often reliant on their team mates to protect them as they escort the hostage to safety to obtain a victory. 

    In Conclusion

    The main factor that differentiates a cooperative game from others is its inclusions of cooperative gameplay. Because of this, when designing a cooperative game such as halo 3 or Gears of War, cooperative gameplay should be at the forefront of the game designers mind. The mechanics of the game should be implemented and adjusted to support cooperative play and the levels these mechanics are used within need to be designed with the knowledge that multiple players will be cooperating within them. The type of missions that take place in these levels need to also support the fact that multiple players will have to work together to play through them. When designing game that will be played through cooperatively with co-op gameplay in mind, it is the gameplay that will thrive and benefit. When players seek out a co-op game their focus is on cooperative gameplay, if a large amount of focus has been placed on it then the game too will be more highly regarded. When designing a cooperative game, cooperative gameplay needs to be a considered when making all decisions.

    -Dionisis Spindzos


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  • Bacrylic's Share / Squaretale Game Update

    1 month ago


    I know I dropped off for a while, but thats because I had landed some work working for another pixel game with a group local to my area. I don't have a day job so this was a nice turn of events to make some money for a change. I've only recently gotten some time to work on my own game, so here are some attack combos I'm working on. My partner and I are discussing our preferences for now. 











    Fun fact about these animations. These are all moves that I did while a friend recorded me for reference. Naturally I didn't look as epic. 

    For our purposes I'm favoring #4, but let me know which ones you like in the comments. 

    Recently seen a video discussing the importance of constant updates on social media for projects like this. I'll try to stay current. Our website still isn't up at the moment. I really need to light a fire under my partner's ass for that one.  

  • 피쉬안마「피쉬안마방」╊ 010#2 9 1 6 #5 1 2 1 NEW OPEN피쉬권픽업 피쉬안마방 피쉬안마추천 피쉬역안마 피쉬역안마방 피쉬안마예약 피쉬안마시술소 피쉬근처

    1 month ago


    피쉬안마「피쉬안마방」╊ 010#2 9 1 6 #5 1 2 1 NEW OPEN피쉬권픽업 피쉬안마방 피쉬안마추천 피쉬역안마 피쉬역안마방 피쉬안마예약 피쉬안마시술소 피쉬근처피쉬안마「피쉬안마방」╊ 010#2 9 1 6 #5 1 2 1 NEW OPEN피쉬권픽업 피쉬안마방 피쉬안마추천 피쉬역안마 피쉬역안마방 피쉬안마예약 피쉬안마시술소 피쉬근처

  • Pokemon

    1 month ago


    So I have a copy of Pokemon Alpha Sapphire from the library and its due date is coming up so I'd like to trade off some of the Pokemon I've captured and raised. Comment or message me if you want one. First come, first served with the oldest post getting dibs on their choice. These are the ones available:

    Level 27 female Kirlia

    Level 18 Vigoroth

    Level 10 Shiny Abra 

    Level 25 Breloom

    Level 33 Graveler 

    Level 20 Loundred

    Level 26 Hariyama

    Level 17 Frogadier 

    Level 25 Marshtomp

    Level 24 Swinub

    Level 23 Lotad

    Edit: I have until tomorrow to pass off these Pokemon, but I will most likely have more, higher leveled Pokemon to pass off soon enough.

    Edit #2: Abra has been claimed, sorry guys.

  • On The Spot Submission Thread #104

    2 months ago

    Jon The Risemonger

    Let's wash the filth of RTX off of us and play some family-fun-filled games back home in Stage 5 this week. How does that sound?


    • Finish the sentence: How to...?
    • Feel free to submit more than one idea.

    COME AGAIN? You give me a prompt for a scene and I make them act it out. This week I'm looking for prompts involving:

    • The first day of school
    • Meeting your hero
    • Deleted scenes from Game of Thrones.


    • Give me a person, a place and a genre.
    • Pro tip: don't use Rooster Teeth staff as your person (including me). Let's leave RT people in the Lazer Team extended universe where they belong.
    • Pro tip #2: don't suggest Trump. I'll ignore it.

    xoxo The Risemonger

  • Bacrylic's Share Game Update

    2 months ago


    Hey guys. Here's a quick update on the game Brandon and I are working on. 

    #1 I realized I wouldn't be able to make the teaser trailer in After Effects. I was quality issues and there wasn't a solid fix for it. I was attempting to keep away from having to make it in Unity because its not my favorite software and we've had some bad experiences together. I went to work one day and Unity was starting a project with another man. I was devastated. I didn't think I could trust another game engine again. But we've moved past it now, and I think we're stronger for it.

    #2 I still have yet to find a personal style for this game. You could say we're not taking the traditional creative work pipeline. 

    #3 Brandon has decided to start posting visual progress of our game on the Squaretale site. As far as I know its still vacant, but I'm working on a small scene that he wants to show when I'm done. Focusing on this scene is also intended to distinguish a sense of style, fingers crossed. 

    #4 I'll be attending the IGDA meeting tomorrow. Sadly Brandon won't be joining me. He couldn't leave his shop, but I might be bringing our other Brandon. Thats right we have two. I look forward to meeting with our recent friends Lance and Clint at Duck Block Games

    Clint has been real cool about helping me understand what it takes to make a game and kickstart it. So as a shout out to those two check out there kickstarter for their game Forsaken Castle.



  • Bacrylic's Share

    2 months ago


    Story #2

    Eyeball Ejaculation

    So I've had a lot of wierd things happen to me here and there and this one of the top odd stories I have.

    While I was in highschool I used to work at my local grocery store.

    One night, while were getting ready to close up, I was pulling in carts from outside when something flew right into my eye. I was suspecting dust or a bug, but for some reason it immedately started burning. 

    Like painful burning. Intolerable to the point where I have to stop what I'm doing to see about it. 

    I run back inside the store, grab the bathroom key and make a bolt for it. 

    I'm blinking furiously, while splashing water in my eye to try and stop the burning.

    It's not working.

    So I pry my lids open to see if I can find what the hell hit my eye. An then I see a black speck of some kind. I manage to get it out, and upon further inspection I still don't know what exactly it was. It looked like either a gnat or a flea. But despite the fact that I got it out, it is till burning. Just as bad. 

    I finish closing up, and drive home with one eye closed like a pirate without a patch.

    I'm the type of guy that likes to power through things, so I thought this wouldn't last the night. But I was wrong. The pain may not have been as bad, but my eye wasn't looking too good. So we schedule me an Optometrist appointment, but we couldn't get one till in a few days. 

    In the meantime I had to suck it up and go to school. ....bummer....

    So what if I would have to spend a few days with one eye closed to alleviate the pain. Thats not how this goes. 

    My eye is still red and at some point in time it is brought to my attention that my eye is leaking some sort of white fluid. Jizz right? No. I leave class to go see whats up, and sure enough I got this gross looking, white fluid building up in my eye. Its like I saw something that really turned me on visually and my eye had premature e-blink-ulation.  

    This continues for the following days. An sure enough when I discuss what I thought happened to my friends they made fun of me. I was stupid at this age and my explanation was that the bug must have bit my eyeball. Yeah I'm a fucking genious. They suggested that the bug layed eggs in my eye and in the next period they were gonna burst out. Thanks guys, true friends.

    At my appointment the Optometrist examines my eye and explains to me what the hell happened. Now get this, upon contact with the bug, whether it was a gnat or a flea or released an acid. A FUCKING ACID!!! And it had stained my eye. He showed me the stain mark like an orange oval blotched on me.   

    I'm fine btw. That stuff cleared up fine, but had that little bastard done that on my iris I wonder if it would've blinded me.

    ...Eyeball Ejaculation...

  • LPL Chicago

    2 months ago


    So I found my old tumblr posts about LPL Chicago and I'm gonna put them here so I don't lose them.

    Post #1

    Things to note here while I’m awake and conscious

    The pyramid

    The camp camp rap rap

    getting a high five from lil J as he ran through the aisles 

    getting a high five from elyse as she ran through the aisles

    Michael in the fucking gimp suit jfc

    Ryan in his dead by daylight costume rapping the machete against the desks of the victims

    and being referred to as ‘Dark God’ by James

    The sheer amount of chanting for Lil J, especially right before he got down to killing

    Ryan kicking ass at move or die (lbr because he plays aginst Meg all the time)

    The amazing use of effects like smoke, lighting, and the streamer cannon at the end

    The habernero peppers and Greg is a dirty cheater

    That one guy who accidentally got passed up for getting a high five and suddenly got the microphone during rock band and actually ended up on stage with everyone

    The card ‘trick’?

    everyone cheering for the janitor

    I’m real tired but super fucking happy.

    Post #2

    Okay it’s the day after Let’s Play Live Chicago. I’ve slept a little, been in the car a lot, and I want to get my thoughts down in a vaguely coherent manner.

    -The theater was beautiful, and even more so once it was filled with approximately three thousand RT nerds

    (Minus a few confused but supportive parents)

    - The makers of Jackbox Games were there and let some fans play up on stage while we were waiting on the show to start

    -The sidebars were full of the #letsplaylive twitter feed, which led to a ridiculous amount of memeing. There was also a notable trend of #DicksOutFor____ (LPL, Lil J were the most common)

    -When the Show began for real there was an Insane amount of cheering which was wonderful. Like, honestly, just the sheer energy in that theater was the most incredible thing I’ve been a part of.

    The rest is going to be under the cut because it gets long but if you’re so inclined there’s some funny shit

    -Started out with Worms (Some sort of new version) and the names I picked up on were Great

    -Except Jeremy’s because he wanted to make a bunch of Trump jokes but for some reason they didn’t go through and he was so disappointed (I believe one was ‘Trumpback whale’ please add on if you remember more)

    -Jack’s were the four horsemen of the apocalypse and he definitely represented it well. (Except Ryan won in the end because Jack self-destructed along with taking out most of the map)

    -Mario Kart racing between Greg and Tim was a thing

    -Habanero peppers were also a thing

    -Greg is a cheater who shoved extra habanero peppers into Tim’s mouth when he was ahead and there was Suffering (He also told a fan to eat one because they’d picked out a tiny, horrible one for him but the ‘Reff’ had to stop them because that could go very bad)

    -Also a lot of people wanted Greg to take his shirt off but apparently there’s a fine for doing that at the Chicago Theater so he instead lifted his shirt to reveal another shirt that just said ‘I Am Fat’

    -Someone had a sign that said Release Greg’s Nips and so as not to disappoint entirely he did run into the crowd to meet the guy and sign it

    -Jordan shooting a plastic bow with rubber balls at the end pretty much directly at Dan was a thing, and then he kept trying to get it through a tiny hoop which did not happen

    -But he did shoot an apple off of Dan’s head so that was pretty impressive

    -There was a ‘Card Trick’?????? Ace of Spades, someone named Jason from the audience if anyone else picked up on what was happening please let me know

    -Cards are hard to clean up

    -Guess what else is hard to clean up

    -A ridiculous amount of lube all over the theater floor

    -Funhaus (James, Bruce, Adam and Elyse) basically had a premise that they would go into Dark Souls and try to beat a boss fight. Lose and, as was with the last LPL, get ‘punished’ by Lawrence in a gimp suit. Elyse said something about how he was ‘getting a lot better’

    -Started off with Adam, and the premise that if he won the rest of Funhaus gets punished and he’s safe.

    -He wasn’t safe. There was some sort of riding crop involved? I could hear it and I was about halfway back from the stage so

    -Can’t remember the order after that but Elyse got a ball gag, James got a dog collar and Bruce ended up handcuffed to James. 

    -Someone apologized for the fact that if ‘Anyone out there is still in the stage of discovering their sexualities, this is probably doing things to you.’ 

    -Lawrence walks out in a bathrobe, apparently not able to find the gimp suit.

    -So Elyse takes off the mask (it takes some doing) and reveals none other than Michael Jones

    -And uh, he continues to be really into it. There was a tongue thing, I’m gonna move on.

    -Geoff and Gavin sat across the stage from each other and threw tennis balls at each other’s dicks

    -Both of them got a couple solid hits in

    -Michael (still in the suit) was behind Gavin, going after the balls that went past him and rubbing his shoulders with encouragement

    -They played both Drawful 2 and Quiplash 2

    -Notably Geoff answered the question ‘What will Geoff’s next tattoo be’ with “Ray please come back” (The other answer was “Gavin’s Nose”)

    -There was also one really odd pixel game and I mostly got confused and just watched for Michael’s reactions to figure out what was going on

    -Which was addressed by the group in a sequence of ‘Audience, cheer if you have no idea what’s going on’ -crowd erupts in cheers- ‘People on stage, cheer if you have no idea what’s going on’ -cheering from the stage-

    -Greg starts up a rivalry with Tim at some point ‘Team Valor Vs. Team Mystic’ and gets the crowd in on it too, vaguely tacking Instinct on as well

    -Starts a huge shouting match (Which, a three thousand person shouting match is something to behold)

    -But you know what else is something to behold?

    -Those same three thousand people all singing the Pokemon theme song together.

    -Overcooked was a thing and I’m pretty sure Gavin was the only one up there that had any clue what was going on

    -And I say that but he was really confused too

    -The first game one team ended in the negatives

    -Greg did a kind of speech about growing up in IL and being shocked and amazed at ending up where he is now

    -Also Kinda Funny has their own office now!

    -Towards the end they did a human pyramid (you’ve probably seen pictures already)

    -Jack said they saved it for near the end because he was fairly certain someone was going to get knocked out of commission

    -Last game? Dead by Daylight, of course.

    -Jeremy as the killer

    -Took a little time to set up but the crowd was really hyped so it was great

    -Notable shoutings of “Let’s Go Little J” with clapping, “You are monster Truck” and always “Liiiillll Jaaaayy”

    -A figure wearing the killer’s mask and a full outfit (easy to find, just check twitter) comes out with a machete and chains, focusing intently on the victims who are closest to death and rapping on their desk with the machete or holding it to their face/neck ect. Stomps off in frustration when they get away, I think there were growling sounds.

    -Jeremy toyed with them, really, but cleaned up at the end

    -The masked killer drags each one of them off the stage

    -James is up next as killer, very good at playing maniacal a la “I’ll kill them all for you, Dark God” which is a pretty heavy hint

    -Elyse and Gavin are the last two left, constantly helping each other off of hooks and down to the last generator

    -Gavin gets got and the masked killer picked him up over his shoulder, carrying him off stage

    -Elyse dies not long after

    -Any wild guesses on the masked killer?

    -Jack sums it up quite well with outlining about how the conversation went.

    -”We need someone to dress up as a pyscho-” “Ryan.” It’s always Ryan, in the end.

    -Everyone comes out to the stage for a final game, RockBand

    -It’s just as absolutely stunning as one might expect, they make use of the lighting effects on the stage and the smoke and it’s beautiful

    -There’s people running through the crowds, high-fiving people all the way down

    -One guy gets passed up twice but wait, someone noticed from the stage and they come down with a mike for him to sing, he actually ends up on stage with all of them

    -The song is ‘Shut Up and Dance’

    -Everyone in the crowd is standing, clapping, singing and it’s the most energetic, lively three thousand people all in unison

    -Jeremy broke his guitar at the end and there was a ton of cheering

    -Let’s Play Live is announced for New York

    -I silently mourn the fact that there is no fucking way I can attend but celebrate the inspiring, wonderful show I just got to see and promptly get lost trying to find my way back to the hotel, grinning like an idiot.

    -I’m still riding that high, honestly.

    If anyone remembers other stuff, wants to talk more in depth about specific things or has anything that I missed I’d love to hear it! My memory is kind of all over the place so I’d l know there’s probably plenty left off of here and I’d appreciate a lot to be reminded or just to talk about it if you’re so inclined~!

    I was so happy re-reading these. Maybe one day I'll be able to go to another RT live event but even if I don't, I'll always have this. 

  • On The Spot Submission Thread #100

    3 months ago

    Jon The Risemonger

    Episode 100. Let's make it a good one.


    • Find an odd story from the recent news with an equally odd headline that we can remove a word or two from for the the guests to fill in the blank.
    • Look for headlines where a blank space would leave the story open to a lot of different interpretations. Ambiguity is key. barbara


    • Give me a person, a place and a genre.
    • Pro tip: don't use Rooster Teeth staff as your person (including me). Let's leave RT people in the Lazer Team extended universe where they belong.
    • Pro tip #2: don't suggest Trump. I'll ignore it.


    • Come up with a category for the guests to list off possible answers for (i.e. Things not to say after someone says "I love you" for the first time.)
    • Category with a lot of possibilities for answers are the best.


    • We need suggestions for personality traits of the worst date ever.
    • Submit 1 trait or a even a set of 2 that play off of each other.
    • Feel free to get weird with this one, you've seen how the game goes ;)

    Thanks for letting me make 100 of these. I am very proud of this show to be honest. And thanks for helping along the way.Couldn't have done it without you. Literally.

    xoxo The Risemonger

  • Retrospective

    3 months ago

    Lpokmnj This space for rent

    Or: yet another ramble from your's truly.

    Short TL;DR version: I'm feeling good. Then again, I'm sipping whiskey and just watched a movie. Hope you're doing just as well, if not better.

    Longer version, stream of consciousness style:
    Just saw the most recent Pirates of the Caribbean movie. I enjoyed it, but I'm an outlier. The story felt like it came full circle, even though like PotC: On Stranger Tides (#4), it lacked that swashbuckling adventure feeling/aesthetic that defined the first three movies.

    For the record, Gore Verbinski did those three and then went onto other movies, such as Rango and the Lone Ranger. If you liked that epic swashbuckling feel, Verbinksi has mastered it, and it shows in the Lone Ranger movie.

    Way I see the series is that Verbinski did one movie in three rather epic parts. I see On Stranger Tides and Dead Men Tell No Tales (OST and DMTNT from here on out), the fourth and fifth movies released chronologically, as movie installments #2 and 3. If one keeps this in mind while watching the series, OST and DMTNT become way more enjoyable to view. Of course, to the viewer I give the credit of being willing and able to try new things and not limit themselves to movies made by lens-flare-extrodinaire Jar Jar Abrahms and explosions-set-to-beatboxing-roboporn-soundtracks Michael Bey.

    Christ, I've come to dislike those two overbudgeted over-SFX'ed shitbirds. They've become the default example I use to criticize the formulaic crap getting pumped out of Hollywood for the last decade or so. But they've not crossed the threshhold I've enplaced for straight up hated territory. That's reserved for Stephen Moffat, but that's neither here nor there. Because fuck that guy. Fuck him with a cactus being used by a gorilla hopped up on amphetamines.

    Anyways, onto happier stuff. I'm nearly done with my degree, finally. After the summer, I've got five classes that I'll need to take before I can get the diploma. It's about goddamn time, my critical inner voice keeps telling me. But hey, it's something I'm finally accomplishing.

    Which is not to say I'm done with college, mind you. There's a shitload more I want to study and learn. I've got a whole list of shit of things I'd value knowing. I'll accomplish them as time permits, after I find the job. On the topic of jobs, I'm looking at postings in the greater NYC area and I find myself bummed out. It's a shit situation from this end of the table.

    Then again, I was wondering why the fuck I limited myself to the area I've grown up in. I realized I've been mentally operating in keeping that familiarity zone. This is the shit I'm used to. It's like Grif in season 1, episode 1. I took the comfortable slacker mentality.

    And I'd like to thank Grif for breaking me out of that perspective. Current season (15), episode 6, bout 8 and a half minutes in, Grif realizes the only person going to do right by him is himself. The thing that kept him with the rest of the RvB characters is inertia. Inertia is a motherfucker. A sneaky, almost innocuous, motherfucker. And it took me about a month from that episode's air date to fully appreciate Grif's departing rant.

    I've been chewing it over, mentally, playing with the countless little doubts, trying to answer all the nagging "what-if's?", etc. I could wallow in that endlessly and never accomplish anything. Or I could look myself in the eyes, via mirror of course, and tell myself one thing that's guaranteed to remove myself doubt. That is:

    "You're a goddamned paratrooper, Lpok. You've defied gravity and embraced your own mortality. If this shit hasn't stopped you, why should anything else?"

    It worked. So now I find myself trying to figure out where to go after that. The list I've come up with thus far is:

    ~ Australia 
    ~ Austin
    ~ Belfast/Dublin

    ~ Rest of United Kingdom (I'd prefer Scotland for reasons I'm not sure how to put into words)

    ~ Chicago

    ~ Denver
    ~ Philadelphia
    ~ Portland

    ~ Vancouver, Washington

    ~ The various major cities in Canada (hockey, maple syrup, friendly people, and no humidity? Fuck Yeah! )

    I've love to pick up another language or three and then head to Europe to do that. But in the mean time, I'll have to work on the languages.

    So the question is, for those of you who actually read the TL;DR portion, what insights and/or advice do you have? I know there's stuff I should know but won't think of due to whatever reason. What advice/experiences/advice/general tips do you think I should know?

  • February RT Gold Box Mishap

    3 months ago

    MurphGaming FIRST Member Star(s) Indication of membership status - One star is a FIRST member, two stars is Double Gold

    In February Rooster Teeth began putting cards in the box as a sort of collectible item. I have received cards #2,#3, and now #4, but I never got #1 in my February Double gold box. I was wondering if anyone could help me out. I have asked support 3 times but they have not answered if they could help or not. 

  • Been awhile update

    4 months ago


    So I haven't posted in awhile here as much as I have elsewhere... Been working on art per regularly doing at least one drawing a week on my Deviant Art page 

    Some fans from here have been asking me to do more stuff with series like RWBY and so I started a project that is on hold till I finish Demon Blade #2 and that is a RWBY fan comic that focuses on the story with STRQ but also gives a cute look at Ruby and Yang growing up.

    I hope to return to it by June but time will tell. In the mean time I have at least one new piece of art a week and would love to hear and see others share theirs with me as well. 

  • On The Spot Submission Thread #97

    4 months ago

    Jon The Risemonger

    Had a lot of fun doing last week's episode and I am happy to tell you that we have successfully gotten Kerry off of his addiction to all-purpose flour so thats good. Gimme some prompts:


    • Come up with a 2 person scenario where the characters interact with each other a lot.
    • Be as descriptive as you want, this is a scene the guests have to play out.
    • Scenes that work best for this game have a high potential for rapid dialogue and confrontation.


    • Finish the sentence: How to...?
    • Feel free to submit more than one idea.


    • Go to and find a word or phrase for guests to guess a definition for.
    • Pro tip: try and find words/phrases that are not just weird sex position descriptions.


    • Give me a person, a place and a genre.
    • Pro tip: don't use Rooster Teeth staff as your person (including me). Let's leave RT people in the Lazer Team extended universe where they belong.
    • Pro tip #2: don't suggest Trump. I'll ignore it.

    xoxo The Risemonger

  • On The Spot Submission Thread #96

    4 months ago

    Jon The Risemonger

    Not gonna lie. It was kind of fun being a contestant. I'm not saying I was good at it. Just saying it was easier than being in charge the whole time. Here is what we're playing this week:


    • Give me a person, a place and a genre.
    • Pro tip: don't use Rooster Teeth staff as your person (including me). Let's leave RT people in the Lazer Team extended universe where they belong.
    • Pro tip #2: don't suggest Trump. I'll ignore it.


    • Finish the sentence: How to...?
    • Feel free to submit more than one idea.

    COME AGAIN? You give me a prompt for a scene and I make them act it out. This week I'm looking for prompts involving:

    • Odd reasons to be in an interrogation room with the FBI.
    • Awkward moments at the bar.
    • Conversations you'd love to see between your favorite characters from fiction.


    • We need suggestions for personality traits of the worst date ever.
    • Submit 1 trait or a even a set of 2 that play off of each other.
    • Feel free to get weird with this one, you've seen how the game goes ;)

    xoxo The Risemonger

  • Woodyman's Backloggery #2 - Capsized

    4 months ago


    Last week I posed the question 'how do you review a game that you didn't like, but also isn't very memorable'? I got many answers but the one I liked the most was from @Alocidej. He said “quickly” So that's how I'm going to review today's game... very, very, quickly.

    Before I do, let me explain how this blog series works

    I have a TON of games I own but never beat, I want to play them all and review them.

    Now there are some RULES about my backlog.

    • Every game I own and never beat was placed into a random list maker.

    • I MUST beat the games in order decided by the random list maker.

    • I can only skip RPGs because they take a long time (but I must still beat them in order)

    • I can’t skip any other game.

    • If I buy another game, it gets put in a random place in the list.

    • If I get a new game I REALLY wanna play, I can make it next in the list.

    • Games in a series (ie Halo) were placed in order from first to last.

    • When a game is done, it will be reviewed.

    Now let's start this week's review.

    Review #2 – Capsized


    Capsized is a 2D platformer made from a VERY small indie crew. It's about a crew of astronauts crash landing on an alien planet. The crew needs to explore the planet, repair their ship, fight, and escape. I'll start with the positives. For being such a small team, the design and game is very ambitious. Also the soundtrack is awesome.

    Now, let's look at the negatives of this game. Before writing this review, I was looking at reviews other people wrote and I saw something that really stuck with me. A Steam Review said “the level design works against you” and that is 100% true. The game has a series of levels each with an objective. The objective is either go there, kill that, or collect this. This is fine for the first few levels but then everything goes to shit. The level objectives begin to repeat, making the game monotonous and then the level just get longer and longer. Fuck you level 11. 


    This is a keyboard and mouse game with the mouse used to aim and shoot. The controls are floaty and unintuitive. This makes precision jumping, and precision platforming infuriating. They give you a grapple beam and occasional jetpack to help alleviate the issue, but it doesn't help.


    The WORST part of this game is the enemies. They're easy to defeat, but their placement is bullshit. A lot of times enemies appear off screen, and can take out half your health before you see them. Even though they're easy to kill, they also deal a ton of damage. They also blend into the background, fly all around, and swarm you. Fuck em!

    Once you beat the game you unlock some stuff, but who cares. This game is meh, and tedious, and sometimes infuriating. Mostly it's meh.

    Score: Meh out of Meh.

    Next game: Sly Cooper and the Thievius Raccooness

  • Rooster Teeth & You: What keeps RT alive?

    4 months ago

    Gorlin Goltz Diet Coke Extraordinaire

    Today, Burnie's latest vlog was released on youtube. For those who don't have the time to watch it, he and Matt discussed how it is that Rooster Teeth makes money to produce shows, run events, etc. and that essentially broke down like this...

    #1 Advertising

    All the commercials you see before the videos on this site or youtube generate a relatively good chunk of money for the company. They also displayed an excerpt from Parade magazine featuring Camp Camp as an example of this. 

    #2 Subscriptions, also know as FIRST Membership

    As it's been a huge discussion point since the time restriction on the latest season of RvB, this still makes sense. The community largely supports the company. 

    #3 Licenses & Royalties 

    For those who don't know what this is, a good example would be the version of RWBY that was done in Japan, with the Japanese voice actors. The company that did that paid Rooster Teeth in order to legally create it. 

    #4 Events... RTX, Let's Play Live, and secret future events

    While some of the money from ticket sales goes to the vendors and overall funding for events, Rooster Teeth still makes money from these amazing events. 

    #5 Merchandise... Shirts, Music, DvD's 

    Essentially, digital or physical purchases made from the RT store, including Double-Gold Subscription boxes. 

    "So what's the best way for someone with extra income to support RT?"

    Coming straight from Burnie and Matt, the biggest way to help the company is with direct contact. This means buying products directly from the RT store, watching videos on the site instead of Youtube, or simply just being a subscriber. 

    The point of the vlog was basically to say that, despite the Youtube-based

    "Ad-pocalypse," Rooster Teeth as a company is far more secure financially then other companies, and it is thanks to subscribers and the community that they don't have to constantly adapt and change things to survive. 

  • Nearly Finished Unpacking

    4 months ago

    MrWartburg Team Fat

    So a couple weeks ago, I mentioned a few life updates, like moving to a new place. And over the last week I've gotten just about everything unpacked, stored in the closet, and all the cool shit hung on the wall. And the coolest stuff went in the basement. 

    Wall #1


    Wall #2


    Having the whole space pretty much all to myself is going to be pretty awesome, because it means I get to do stuff like keep my green screen up all the time! 


    I'm going to like having room to actually spread out while I'm streaming, instead of being cramped in the same small room where my bed was in the old place. Still playing with the lighting and what not, and working on some back end stuff for the new channel, but it's be a pretty solid couple weeks.

  • At the Screwvies: Episode 80

    5 months ago



    MADHERO: Hello ladies and gents. Hope you're all enjoying your Easter weekend and all that. Now I know this is usually the time where we all then decide to watch 2011's Illumination masterpiece Hop, but we have to leave that be and Baby Jesus for the Starred Wars, and the Thors, and the bald angry men shouting FAEMILY!

    STICKMAN: This time it's not just about being femameielly


    MADHERO: Also we maaaaay have a review for you as well, but hey, might as well talk this Star Wars thing. Don't think it will get much attention otherwise.

    STICKMAN: Oh no. I hate Captain Kirk.



    So as we're writing this, Star Wars Celebration is currently going on in Orlando, Florida, celebrating the 40th anniversary of the franchise, which is pretty crazy to think about. Anyway, it seemed pretty innevitable that we'd get our first look of Rian Johnson's The Last Jedi, whilst also highlighting Luke's role and new character Rose played by Kelly Marie Tran.

    After all that buildup, there it was, along with a pretty neat old school poster straight out of a VHS cover. The trailer, as expected with Star Wars, doesn't give away a whole lot, showing what seems to be Luke training Rey on the island we saw at the end of Force Awakens, as well as the Rebellion not having the best times. And sure enough, it ends with quite the stinger, with Luke saying that Jedi essentially have to go. Its a good trailer to get excited about, but then I was excited to begin with. Otherwise it didn't blow me away, but we'll how it is when it comes out this December.

    STICKMAN: So this sure was a Star Wars trailer.

    MADHERO: I think I saw a lightsaber maybe

    LARRY: The tease to end all teases. And ANOTHER Darth Vader shattered helmet shot.

    STICKMAN: There was some vague mysterious lines, the same music from the last one's teaser trailer, the same kinda...shots of a robot, some characters looking shocked, space ship fights and an explosion. They used the same THIS CHRISTMAS animation as the last one too. Even had the same sorta majestic space ships flying over thing shot. Only this time it was red.

    LARRY: I mean, don’t get me wrong, I liked the teaser. But it’s a teaser. And unlike with TFA, I kept that in mind this time.

    STICKMAN: It's more or less the same teaser. Except with less Han Solo

    MADHERO: I admire that they're kinda late with it if only cause TFA's teaser was like a year before the movie came out

    STICKMAN: I find it an issue when people act like it's the best thing ever made. It wasn't even the best teaser trailer that came out this week.

    LARRY: People are obsessed. The Luke nugget at the end was GOLD. It’s bound to be shared to high heaven.

    MADHERO: Are we though? I'm not. I liked it, but its Star Wars. Fans analyze toyboxes for clues. Anyway, looks fun. Looking forward to it. Comes out on my birthday here

    LARRY: Yeah. It’s gonna be awesome.

    STICKMAN: Teaser was fine, didn't do much for me but it wasn't bad either. It's Star Wars. I don't especially get EXCITED. I hate the hype campaign that goes on for the rest of time.

    MADHERO: Did the other teaser we'll talk about so more for you, Stickman?


    So, moving on from the teaser trailer for a Disney owned company's space set sci-fi same thing, but the other one. Thor Ragnarok. Marvel are back at it again with the 3rd film in the so far dull as dishwater Thor franchise of the MCU, and this time looks...decidedly more awesome? Or at least the trailer did an outstanding job of selling the film to audiences, to the point where it's the highest viewed Marvel trailer in 24 hours in Youtube history. Dang.

    What did we see, then? Well...Thor chained up, and then Thor's hammer getting smashed to pieces by a gothy as fuck Cate Blanchett...and then the trailer actually starts.  Asgard gets fucking obliterated, Thor ends up on a planet and gets  kidnapped by aliens, and then Jeff Goldblum turns up and puts him in a space arena to fight the Hulk in battle armour. Like. Dang. Also there's a bit where a warrior on pegasus horseback is flying towards Cate Blanchett with massive horns on her head in a lightening...planet...thing. And all of this is set to IMMIGRANT SONG?! WOooAOAAHHH. Also Idris Elba and Tom Hiddleston have 2 seconds to do something cool, so that's neat. Basically, this was a fucking badass teaser, and a billion times more exciting than The Last Jedi's, and this is coming from someone who really didn't like Thor: The Dark World, so...yeah. It was pretty rad. Also the colours, children. THE COLOURS.

    MADHERO: Hoooooooooooooooweeeee, this teaser was a load of fun

    LARRY: I like the first Thor a lot actually.

    STICKMAN: First is fine but whatever. Second one is blaaaaaaaand.

    LARRY: Okay that's true. But yes THIS TRAILER IS AWESOME. THIS is how you tease but still give enough to chew on.

    STICKMAN: And third one is an interstellar cosmic boyband road trip with The Hulk in battle armour. So 10/10.

    MADHERO: Dark World is a really by the numbers film. This however, looks far from by the numbers

    LARRY: We got some subtle plot details, some epic action shots, and a FANTASTIC reveal. Call me PUMPED.

    MADHERO: Also, Goth Cate Blanchett is looking mighty fine. Hope she's able to escape the Bad Marvel Villain trap

    LARRY: AND Jeff Goldblum. He looks excellent.

    STICKMAN: Jeff Goldblum and his space goatee. Cate Blanchett and her goth horns.

    LARRY: Shout out to Tessa Thompson too! Very excited for her after her breakout role in Dear White People.

    STICKMAN: Also Karl Urban turns up. For about 5 seconds. So that's nice, he should be making Dredd 2 though, so...naughty boy.

    MADHERO: Dual wielding assault rifles though

    STICKMAN: True. He looks ready. Basically. This was fucking awesome.

    LARRY: Also Thor with a shield. A shield.

    MADHERO: I think you definitely see the hand of Taika Waititi and the fun he has with it. So what if it kinda looks like Guardians of the Galaxy again. Gotg was awesome

    STICKMAN: And then the music kicks in. 10 OUTTA 10




    In a…sorta kinda out of left-field piece of casting news, Josh Brolin has officially been cast as Cable in Deadpool 2! Despite several different casting rumors circling around, Brolin is officially in, making this the second Marvel character he’s taking on alongside Thanos (him and Chris Evans will probably have a lovely chat soon). This is a tad surprising seeing as Brolin was never really rumored to be taking the role, but hey, I’m not complaining! Josh Brolin is an incredibly talented actor, and this looks to be another awesome role for him. All in all, solid casting, Fox.

    STICKMAN: Where did this come from.

    LARRY: Outta nowhere haha

    MADHERO: He honestly wasn't in my head at first, but yeah, I can definitely see him as Cable. Still very much had someone older like Stephen Lang or Ron Perlman in mind

    LARRY: Yeah he’s a bit young but he can pull off the grizzled old warrior.

    Stickman:'s currently Thanos  in the MCU, it's really odd for him to be playing another Marvel character...especially in a series which will really want to reference him being Thanos, but also probably can't? Unless Disney are super generous.

    MADHERO: To be fair he's almost 50. I honestly don't mind he's playing in 2 different universes. Ryan Reynolds (of course) has already made fun of it

    STICKMAN: That's his job now. He has to be HHWACCKKKY. Just look at him and Gylelennahaaall on the Life tour. Funnier than Deadpool.

    LARRY: It’s a bit different here though given that these are two universes going strong. Green Lantern was dead on arrival. Evans took on Cap when F4 went defunct

    MADHERO: Josh Brolin has flexed his straight man muscles on Men in Black 3 and Inherent Vice. Both of which are very flawed films, but he's great in them.

    LARRY: Ooh he’s GREAT in MIB3

    STICKMAN: Remember that other Josh Brolin comic book movie. Jonah Hex. Good times.


    MADHERO: He's played in Fox, Marvel, and DC's camps. Who can say that? Not a lot, I assume.

    STICKMAN: Soon he'll be in Dredd 2. Which totally exists, right? ....RIGHT?!



    So hey, Cannes, the moment when film is allowed to as pretentious as possible. Its generally regarded as the biggest and most important film festival of the year, so even though we're a bunch of uncultured swines paying more attention to Star Wars and Marvel, we might as well give it a look.

    Some pretty big names are playing in competition at the festival. Yorgos Lathimos (The Lobster) with The Killing of a Sacred Deer, Michael Haneke (Amour) with Happy End, and other directors like Sofia Coppola, Lynn Ramsay and Michel Hazanavicius. Whats most interesting is seeing 2 Netflix films competing for the main price, those being Bong Joon-Ho (Snowpiercer)'s Okja and Noah Baumbach's (While We're Young)  The Meyerowitz Stories, and Amazon is also entering the fray with Wonderstruck from Todd Haynes (Carol). So yeah, maybe you'll be able to see the Palm D'Or winner online. Not bad.

    In quick non-competition news. Alejandro G. Innaritu (Birdman, The Revenant) went out and made a VR film, and Taylor Sheridan ( the writer of Sicario and Hell or High Water) makes his directing debut. So yeah, excitement all around.

    STICKMAN: This isn't a Star war.

    LARRY: WOO. Lots of great stuff here. Love seeing Joon-Ho’s work displayed.

    STICKMAN: How do you know it's great, it's not out yet.

    LARRY: I meant like great news for certain filmmakers.

    MADHERO: The amount of cool directors out there showing off their films is pretty fun.

    STICKMAN: I wanna see that Innaritu VR film though. That's gonna be amazing.

    MADHERO: Shot by Lubezki, so you know that's probably super pretty no matter where you look

    STICKMAN: Also I don't really care about any of the others things as of this stage. Maybe when I actually see something I'll be more OOOOH. But for now it's like MMM. And I haven't seen SNOWPIERECER so I can't be excited from just that Netflix teaser.

    LARRY: I dunno, Cannes hype is always fun for me. Interesting to see which films to look out for.

    STICKMAN: Cannes is kinda...can go either way, I suppose.

    MADHERO: True, but at least it sounds great, and Netflix/Amazon sending in their stuff is a pretty interesting shift in the industry

    STICKMAN: Remember that time, Larry. When Mad Max Fury Road was there. That was one to look out for.

    MADHERO: And gave it a 10 minute round of applause or something. That tends to be a Cannes thing. That or booing a lot

    STICKMAN: Booing, jeering, and someone saying something they probably shouldn't. That's Cannes. Also some films maybe.


    So, after a 5 year break from films, Oscar winning director Kathryn Bigelow, who brought us The Hurt Locker, Zero Dark Thirty and...uhh...Point Break, is back, and once again dipping into recent history to provide a hopefully tense and chilling thriller. Based on events that occurred during the 1967 Detroit riots, and starring John Boyega and Will Poulter among others, the trailer was a bit too choppily edited for my liking, but teased another potentially heartpoundingly tense and effective film from Bigelow, dealing with the increasingly violent racial tensions between the police and the citizens of Detroit, something that unfortunately feels all too timely given the recent climate in the US.  It's been a long time since Bigelow released a film, but she seems to have brought her A-Game for this one, at far as we can tell from this teaser trailer. Oddly the film is releasing in August, rather than the usual October-November, awards contending period that films of this nature tend to come out in. I'm a big fan  of Bigelow's work, and this is looking promising, but I guess we'll find out for ourselves in August.

    MADHERO: Our 2nd trailer to feature John Boyega

    LARRY: Well, he's literally in one shot in SW. But sure.

    STICKMAN: Our boy, yega.

    MADHERO: Its hard to tell how the movie will be done since it seems to be snippets rather than a traditional narrative, though our "lead" seems to be Boyega as a black police officer, which boy must be awkward around that time

    LARRY: I dunno the choppy editing didn't bother me so much. I actually really like how this looks and I'm excited to see how it comes out. Boyega looks to be going in deep. Really wish this was happening around Oscar time.

    STICKMAN: I have hopes the film will be good, the trailer was a bit lacking.

    MADHERO: Honestly, I do think August is still late enough for it to be up for consideration. Not like its releasing now. We complain all the time about the Oscar tidal wave of December

    STICKMAN: I think this will be a good film, whether or not it gets Oscar love is another thing. But who really cares about that.

    MADHERO: Possibly, but its a Kathryn Bigelow film that's very socially relevant in stormy political times. It will get talked about. I feel like Hurt Locker and especially Zero Dark Thirty have kinda become underrated as time goes on. Good to remind people how brilliant those films are

    LARRY: I dunno we'll see. Sticky's right though, it's about the quality, and I trust Bigelow.

    STICKMAN: Hurt Locker was a huge deal, Zero Dark Thirty is super underrated.

    LARRY: Ugh ZDT is sooooo good. That third act KILLS ME.




    You thought Brolin was kinda out-of-nowhere? Well you ain't seen nothing yet. We all remember Fantastic Beasts, yeah? I thought it was alright, myself. Well, not too long ago, news broke that they would be pursuing up to five sequels to the Harry Potter spinoff, leading many of us film nerds to rightly cringe in confusion and annoyance. How could you possibly make five more movies out of merely one book? I'll tell you how, BY FRANCHISE BAITINGGGGGGGGGGG

    Jude Law, famous for his many charming roles, has been cast as the beloved younger version of Hogwarts Headmaster Albus Dumbledore. This will be the third actor to don the famous role, and easily the youngest. The film will showcase Dumbledore before he was the man in charge, first climbing the ranks as a professor. However, with no legitimate source material to feed off of, lord knows what David Yates (returning to direct after Fantastic Beasts) and J.K. Rowling (returning as writer) will bring to the table. And then there are those who are thrilled to see how they play with Dumbledore's homosexuality; let's just hope it's not a throwaway line.

    STICKMAN: Dumbledore huh? That's pretty gay.

    MADHERO: To be fair, its not like its only doing that one book. Going very much its own direction. Either way, not the person I expected for Young Dumbledore

    LARRY: Yes but it's drawing from the first book.

    STICKMAN: Personally I was not a huge fan of Fantastic Beasts 1. It had charms, but it felt pointless and needlessly sentimental at times. Also kinda dull. The ending bit with Mr Depp was the lowest point. And any future films are only going to be worse.

    LARRY: Oh yeah Depp is obviously returning for this sequel too So get ready for that

    MADHERO: I thought it was ok, but if a sequel didn't come I'd be ok with that. And I'd much rather they stuck with Colin Farrell

    STICKMAN: I'm not ready for shitty WB prequel film series #2.

    LARRY: I thought it was enjoyable but not sequel worthy. And I'm not sure Law is really the right pick as Dumbledore. I've seen him transform before though so I'm ready to be proved wrong.

    MADHERO: Was a fine little spin-off on its own, but we'll see. Law is a good actor. I kinda maybe had my mind set on Jared Harris (son of Richard Harris, the OG Dumbledore)

    STICKMAN: Dumbledore feels like a character that's been old for a long time, and he should reflect that in casting, even if a young actor, they need...age. Matt Smith maybe.

    LARRY: I mean Dom Hemingway is absolutely a great transformative performance.

    MADHERO: Well too late now unless he drops out. ANYWAY! We don't even know when this is coming out, or when Dumbledore comes out. HEYOOOO



    MADHERO: Alright. I hope you enjoyed my review of Ghost in the Shell last week, cause GUESS WHAT?! WE'RE DOING ANOTHER REVIEW! Of the action movie that everyone anticipated and is excited for. One that is about to become the biggest boxoffice champ of them all....... BEN WHEATLEY'S FREE FIRE!!!!


    STICKMAN: Wait. I already saw it.

    LARRY: ...okay well now I'm just left out.

    MADHERO: You get to next week, but I saw it in Febuary and you saw it recently too, Stickman. So hey, might as well talk about it.

    LARRY: Well I'm gonna sleep now. Wake me up when you're done



    DIRECTOR: Ben Wheatley (A Field in England, High Rise)

    STARRING: Brie Larson, Sharlto Copley, Armie Hammer, Cillian Murphy, Michael Smiley, Sam Riley, Jack Reynor, Babou Ceesay

    SYNOPSIS: When a gang of criminals meet up in a warehouse in order to purchase arms, a disagreement turns into a full-on shootout between the two parties making the transaction.

    MADHERO: Ok, so I know Fast and Furious 8 is the action movie that everyone is excited for, but if you want your action movie without any torpedoes or car chases, and also filled with incompetent idiots, then this is the movie for you. Free Fire really is just a 75 shoot-out, in one warehouse. That may sound dull, but far from it. Ben Wheatley (for whom this is easily his most accessible film) mastercrafts his scene brilliantly and its all helped by some really whip-smart and funny dialogue and characters to deliver them. Its set in the 70's, so its already a bit over the top, and that tone really helps the film be really entertaining. Its like a match of Counter Strike set in a bunker level where everyone is a terrible shot. If that in any way interests you, or if you just want to see something that's a bit outside the mainstream but not really, definitely check this film out.


    STICKMAN: This is both very much a Ben Wheatley film, especially in terms of its casting, but also his most accessible...non-weird one? That's not to say it isn't weird, if you've ever wanted to see a film where 99% of what happens is people going OWFUCK MY LEG, OH SHIT MY ARM, GOD DAMNIT, FUCK STOP SHOOTING, then here it is. It's stupid in a good way, it's frequently really funny, some of the action is actually quite good considering the amateur hour antics of the characters, and there's some sweet musical choices to boot.

    LARRY: So... if Reservoir Dogs met a Edgar Wright film.

    STICKMAN: Sorta, yeah. It's a ton of fun, and really doesn't spend much time taking itself seriously.

    LARRY: IM SO DOWN. I swear this movie looks so fun

    MADHERO: Resevoir Dogs by way of Counter Strike, and yeah, definitely some Edgar Wright in there. Would even compare it to Nice Guys, but besides genre and setting they don't share as much

    STICKMAN: I just love the reactions to the various injuries. It's so genuine and dumb. Like when you stub your toe and you go AAHH SHIT, FUCK. GOD DAMNIT. AAHHH PISS, I'VE BEEN SHOT.

    LARRY: That sounds awesome to be honest That alone is humor in itself


    MADHERO: The only competent characters are Brie Larson and Armie Hammer's characters. I also love that the whole thing starts for the dumbest reasons, but to say more would be spoilers.

    STICKMAN: Yeah. I think, really my only real complaints are that some of the action is a bit poorly shot, which I guess makes sense due to the chaos and number of people involved, and also the ending needed a bit more...oomph.

    LARRY: Mmmmmm okayyyyyyy. Keeping all this in mind when I see it myself

    MADHERO: If any of this sounds appealing to you, go see it. Its a absolute blast, and hey, its also pretty short (only about 90 minutes). Great little film that deserves all the attention it can get.

    STICKMAN: It's really great to see Wheatley getting some widespread attention. Been following his stuff for a while now, it's cool to see him building up a following.

    MADHERO: Anyway, now time for the movie that doesn't need any attention



    DIRECTOR: F. Gary Gray (The Italian Job, Straight Outta Compton)

    STARRING: Vin Diesel, Dwayne Johnson, Charlize Theron, Michelle Rodriguez, Jason Statham, Tyrese Gibson, Ludaris, Kurt Russell, Helen Mirren

    SYNOPSIS: When a mysterious woman (Theron) seduces Dom (Diesel) into the world of crime and a betrayal of those closest to him, the crew (Johnson, Rodriguez etc.) face trials that will test them as never before.

    LARRY: So apparently this isn't that good. Like I saw some scathing reviews.

    STICKMAN: So basically, every Fast & Furious film ever. Some cars drive really fast and faemeieallylyy happens.

    MADHERO: Its good, just.... not Furious 7 good.

    STICKMAN: They're all the saaaame. Like, since the 5th one.

    LARRY: Furious 7 and Fast Five are fun movies. And not half bad honestly, Though 7 has some GAPING plot holes

    MADHERO: It just had the biggest worldwide debut of all time, so I'm sure Vin Diesel and the FAEMILY will be ok

    STICKMAN: I don't understand why these films have a following like they do. People expect quality from what's essentially trash. People act like the characters have appeal. It's like. Just watch your dumb car explosion movies.

    LARRY: But the characters do have appeal. They're likable.

    MADHERO: I think its like Michael Bay that you go in for the spectacle, and it has the added benefit of having characters you've grown to like and care about.

    STICKMAN: Who we got? We got. Vinny VcDisealey. We got...what...Amnesia Lady, we got...THE ROCK who's just fun to watch exist regardless of location. Who else.

    MADHERO: Tyrese. The glue that holds everyone together

    STICKMAN: Oh, you mean the guy who just goes AAWW HELLLS NAH, THIS SHIT'S CRAAAZY.

    LARRY: Tyrese is great. Don't diss Tyrese.

    STICKMAN: And then you get some booty butts. And some shit music. And then unearned sentimentality about femaeiaieally and love.

    MADHERO: These films are fun for what they are, and if you know what you want from a F&F movie, chances are you'll get it here.

    STICKMAN: I enjoyed Fast 5-7, but I don't expect anything from them beyond entertaining action and stupidity.

    MADHERO: And you'll get that here in all likelihood

    LARRY: Torpedoes guys. Torpedoes.


    DIRECTOR: Terry George (Hotel Rwanda, Whola Lotta Sole)

    STARRING: Oscar Isaac, Christian Bale, Charlotte Le Bon, Daniel Giménez-Cacho

    SYNOPSIS: A love triangle develops between an Armenian medical student Michael (Isaac), an American journalist based in Paris (Bale) and an Armenian-born woman raised in France (Le Bon) during the final days of the Ottoman Empire in 1914.

    STICKMAN: Promise me, no more Disney live action remakes.

    LARRY: Not that kind of promise.

    MADHERO: Huh, talk about a movie that probably was considered an Oscar (Isaac) movie and then it just kinda faltered

    LARRY: Haha good one. But yeah I'll pass

    STICKMAN: Oscar Isaac sure can pick 'em. For every Ex Machina or Star Wars, there's a X-Men Apocalypse or...this.

    LARRY: Can't pick every gold nugget.

    MADHERO: I mean, 2 big actors, big historical setting, period piece, and then it all ends being kinda meh.

    STICKMAN: Are you saying this is a sequel to Assassin's Creed, Mad?

    MADHERO: Also this movie is probably most famous for getting IMDBombed by Turkish people cause it talks about the Armenian genocide. So that's fun

    LARRY: What an odd controversy.

    STICKMAN: We've certainly come a long way since comedy gunfights and cars exploding into torpedoes.


    DIRECTOR: Denise Di Novi (directorial debut)

    STARRING: Katherine Heigl, Rosario Dawson, Geoff Stults, Isabella Rice

    SYNOPSIS: A woman (Heigil) sets out to make life hell for her ex-husband's new wife (Dawson).

    LARRY: Haha that's ironic.

    STICKMAN: I forgot to watch the trailer for this. AHOHOHOHOHO.

    MADHERO: Remember when Katherine Heigl was going to be the next Sandra Bullock? That sure didn't happen.

    STICKMAN: I don't know who that is.

    LARRY: This film just looks so... like done before. : Didn't Tyler Perry produce a film like this recently?

    MADHERO: Well, Stickman. She used to be a big deal around 2007-2010 or so and before that for being in Grey's Anatomy. Then she slagged off most of her own work, acted like a diva, starred in terrible movies that flopped, and recently she was in a cat litter commercial


    STICKMAN: I guess her careers in the toilet then. THE CAT TOILET. WOAOAOAHGOHOHH. I have no idea what this film is.

    MADHERO: She legitimately looks like she wants to die in that commercial. BUT ANYWAY THIS MOVIE. IT LOOKS LAME. ROSARIO DAWSON SHOULD BE IN BETTER MOVIES

    STICKMAN: I like Rosario Dawson. Was she in Rosario Dawson's Creek. Why must we fly so far from God's grace.

    LARRY: Welcome to the internet.

    MADHERO: Hmmm, gotta do something to bring morale up. WAIT I KNOW!


    DIRECTOR: Lu Chuan (Chronicles of the Ghostly Tribe)


    SYNOPSIS: "Born in China" captures intimate moments with a panda bear and her growing cub, a young golden monkey who feels displaced by his baby sister, and a mother snow leopard struggling to raise her two cubs.


    STICKMAN: I like those things. What could go wrong.

    LARRY: I like animals.

    STICKMAN: Animals are okay. Especially lizards.

    MADHERO: We recently got panda's here in the Netherlands so its arriving at just the right time.

    LARRY: Honestly this ain't got anything on Disney's Dolphins guys. THATS where it's at. But I'll settle.

    STICKMAN: Well I guess this film is PANDERING TO YOUR AUDIENCE


    MADHERO: Disneynature are generally pretty pleasant films to watch, and beautiful to look at. Aint no Planet Earth, but it tries


    MADHERO: Quit....ummm.. snow leoparding us off track?

    STICKMAN: Disneynature makes like. Films that are fine and pleasant. But also not that exciting. Unlike PLANET EARTH 2. Which was awesome as fuck.

    MADHERO: I think they're perfect Netflix films to just sit on the couch and watch

    LARRY: Disneynature: why reinvent the nature documentary when you can just make some.

    STICKMAN: Oh snap. They also do that with all their franchises.


    DIRECTOR: James Gray (The Immigrant)

    STARRING: Charlie Hunnam, Robert Pattinson, Tom Holland, Sienna Miller

    SYNOPSIS: A true-life drama, centering on British explorer Col. Percival Fawcett (Hunnam), who disappeared while searching for a mysterious city in the Amazon in the 1920s.

    MADHERO: Oooooooh, this is supposed to be pretty damn good.

    LARRY: Wait really?

    MADHERO: Yeh. 88% on RT and everything.

    LARRY: Oh. Okay then. I dunno, the trailers meh.

    STICKMAN: Oh daaaamn. What's the score though.

    MADHERO: 7.5/10. I love me a good jungle adventure and it has a really great cast. Also James Gray is a really underrated director

    LARRY: ...whathashedone?

    MADHERO: I only saw The Immigrant but that was pretty good stuff.

    LARRY: Hmmm never heard of him

    MADHERO: Definitely worth checking out, and this film too it seems.

    STICKMAN: I'll watch it on DVD. Maybe.


    MADHERO: Speaking of which, that's it for movies coming out this week, but if the biggest movie of all time or a small action film doesn't do enough for you, its now time for MOVIE OF THE WEEK!

    STICKMAN: OWOOAAOAHHWWOOH These ones we actually did see.

    LARRY: M O T W

    STICKMAN: Match of the Window.

    LARRY: Mania of the Widow

    STICKMAN: Mingling of the Wombles.

    MADHERO: As always, this is where we discuss recent DVD releases, Netflix releases, or just films we saw in theatHEYKNOCKITOFFWITHMESSINGUPTHETITLE

    STICKMAN: Mads on the Wampage after we did all these. HE GON HIT ME AFTER THE SHOW

    MADHERO: Maybe I will. Do well on your MOVIE OF THE WEEK and then we can talk

    STICKMAN: WOOAAAHH. I guess I better do that then.


    STICKMAN: SOOOO my pick is a musical. WAITWHAT!? That's right, a MUSICAL. Now Mad didn't edit the blog wrong and mistake me for Larry, I picked a MUSICAL. SO WHAT. Moana, specifically.

    Now I'm not a huge fan of Frozen, and I grow weary of the Disney formula...but this one? OOH. It's pretty dang good, even the music is enjoyable for once. Visually it's stunning, and super creative and colourful...with some jaw droppingly beautiful sequences and shots. The main characters are fun and likeable, as are some of the villains...fabulous sparkly crab? Yes please. It's a lot of fun, there's even a Fury Road reference in there, which is neat. I dunno, I just really found myself quite SMITTEN with this one, I'd say  it was much better than Zootopia, even if it lacked sexy tiggers to fuck, y'know?

    MADHERO: Does have shiny Jermaine Clement crab though

    STICKMAN: Yeah boi.

    LARRY: Okay well Moana I GUESSSSSSSS IS A MUSICAALLLLLLLL. Hopefully one day you'll pick one of the classics but OKAY

    STICKMAN: Well how wouldn't it beEXACTLY. It's got SINGING.

    MADHERO: Its a gorgeous looking film, and yeah, very "Disney," but there's nothing wrong with that

    LARRY: Yeah Moana is pretty good.


    LARRY: Great animation, solid music, Moana is a great character.

    MADHERO: Also there's a scene that resembles Fury Road so its a automatic 10/10

    STICKMAN: With little coconut friends. And Dwyane turns into a LIZARD. 12/10

    MADHERO: Anyway, Larry. What's your MOTW?

    LARRY: My MOTW is one of last year's Oscar Nominees for Best Picture, Hidden Figures!

    I'll be honest, Hidden Figures could've easily been one of those TV movies that managed to make it to cinemas. And in some ways, it is. BUT, most of the film just manages to be cinematic enough to warrant its potential, and it also helps that politically it's doing a lot of people a lot of good. You've got a great cast, with Monae as a borderline scene stealer. You've got a solid script that does its historical figures justice. You've got well paced moments that are bound to tug at your heartstrings. And, most importantly, you've got a KILLER score from Pharrell Williams and Hans Zimmer who are both at their A-Game here. In short, it's no masterpiece and has enough cheese for a wine cabinet, but it's definitely a solid crowd-pleaser and probably the most accessible Best Picture nominee that's actually good.

    STICKMAN: It's got a great cast, yo.

    MADHERO: This movie was a pretty big deal when it came out. And nothing wrong with a old fashioned crowd pleaser

    LARRY: Indeed. I mean, everyone is great. Spencer, Costner, Ali.

    MADHERO: Also mah boi Mahershala is in it. That's always good

    STICKMAN: Wholesome feel-good space movies are the new thing.

    MADHERO: My new twitter account @WholesomeSpaceMovies.

    LARRY: Well Life will probably disrupt that haha

    STICKMAN: Nobody saw that one.

    MADHERO: I don't think that happens in Hidden Figures, which hey, happened IRL, so its also important in that sense.

    LARRY: Oh yeah it tells a truly unique story. Which is something I really admire about it.

    STICKMAN: It's an important story told OKAY. Speaking of okay. Okay Mad. Do you thing

    MADHERO: So for my Movie of the Week, I’m going for a film that probably would have been a Oscar contender had it not been for the Weinsteins fucking it over and leaving it doomed for obscurity, BUT NOT IF I CAN HELP IT! I was interested in The Founder the moment I heard about it, cause its about the origin of one of the biggest corporations in the world and had Michael Keaton in the lead. What could go wrong?

    Nothing movie-wise as it turns out. Few actors can play conniving quite as well as Michael Keaton, and he's perfect as a man seemingly done and ready to go out, until he stumbles upon the keys of an empire. There's definitely moments that make you feel uncomfortable and not like the guy, but he's magnetic on screen. Very much flew under the radar, so definitely worth a look.

    LARRY: I'm definitely gonna watch it soon. This is one of the few movies I've missed so far this year.

    MADHERO: Its a good biopic, yeah. And about really interesting subject matter. Needless to say Micky D's doesn't approve

    STICKMAN: I wanted to see this, but it kinda crashed and burned stateside and got basically no release here.

    LARRY: W E I N S T E I N SSSSSSSSS. Hate them as a distributor.

    STICKMAN: RIGHT!? Hate them. I wanted to watch a film about burgers/ Now I have to settle for Sausage Party.

    MADHERO: Yep, pretty much to blame for it going so under the radar, which is so unfortunate. There's always Super size Me if you want your burger movie.

    STICKMAN: Sure if I wanna vom.

    MADHERO: Well Sausage Party gives you the same effect. Not The Founder though.




    MADHERO: Annnnnnnnnyway, that wraps up Episode 80 (wow we've done a lot of these) of At the Screwvies. Hope you got your beach clothes ready, but its time to go to the stars and enjoy SUMMERTIME!

    STICKMAN: 80 episodes of me being annoying.





    MADHERO: Uhhhhh, bye guys.

    LARRY: Buh-bye everyone!

  • Rooster Teeth Fashion Feature: Double Gold Box - March 2017

    5 months ago

    ailsarocks FIRST Member Star(s) Indication of membership status - One star is a FIRST member, two stars is Double Gold Community Stylist

    Hello dears! Happy #RTCommunityDay to you all! I hope you are having a wonderful day, whether you're going to a community meet up, having a game night with your community friends or are just having a day wearing your RT merch to celebrate!

    My March #RTBox was a little late, but it still arrived in time to wear the shirt for RT Community Day! The March RTBox was a good one! Here's a list of what we got:

    - A friendly note from Geoff (with lovely art on the back)
    - A Funhaus stress ball
    - Achievement Hunter earbud headphones
    - Red vs Blue notepad and matching pen
    - Rooster Teeth 14th Anniversary tshirt
    - Sex Swing sticker
    - Card #2 of 12 (1 in 5 Signed by an Achievement Hunter)

    I'm a big fan of this box because I'll get use out of everything in it. As much as I loved last month's box, I'm not sure how much use I'll get out of a shot glass necklace. BUT YOU NEVER KNOW!
    So back to the shirt at hand. The Rooster Teeth 14th Anniversary shirt could possibly be one of my new favourites! The design is beautiful, subtle and intricate. At first glance you see the words Rooster Teeth surrounded by swirly white and gold patterns, but on closer inspection you will see fun little references to Rooster Teeth's hilarious past moments.
    Here's how I styled mine:


    I really love this shirt because black and gold is one of my all time favourite combinations to wear. It oozes an air of luxuriousness while at the same time being effortlessly stylish. Black and gold is always a trend aware combination and is a favourite at festival season in the summer. Right now, I'm having to wear a lot of my "transeasonal" pieces, so my long waterfall cardigan is getting a lot of wear at the moment. One minute the sun is out and it's quite warm and the next the snow starts! Waterfall cardi's are great because when it's warm you can just let them fall open, and when it's cooler you can belt them on pin them in a bunch of different ways to keep out the cold.

    Another favourite tactic of mine is to mix textures and patterns. The cardigan is a silk/wool mix in a herringbone pattern, and my leggings have a subtle art nouveau pattern too to add a little luxury to the look. Have fun experimenting with different patterns and textures and of course have fun matching your black/gold shirt. Remember, dress to excess!

    So there we have it! Another RTBox done! Did you like the shirt we got this month? Did you get your card signed by any of the AH crew? Let me know in the comments!

    And as always, please tag me on the site @ailsarocks or tag @RTisFashionable on Twitter to let me see your Rooster Teeth style!

    Stay Fashionable ;)

  • On The Spot Submission Thread #93

    5 months ago

    Jon The Risemonger

    We have special guests scheduled for this week. They come from the exotic land of LA. That is all I'm gonna say.


    • Go to and find a word or phrase for guests to guess a definition for.
    • Pro tip: try and find words/phrases that are not just weird sex position descriptions.
    • No racial slurs, please.


    • Give me a person, a place and a genre.
    • Pro tip: don't use Rooster Teeth staff as your person (including me). Let's leave RT people in the Lazer Team extended universe where they belong.
    • Pro tip #2: don't suggest Trump. I'll ignore it.

    COME AGAIN? You give me a prompt for a scene and I make them act it out. This week I'm looking for prompts involving:

    • Confessions to a therapist that don't go quite as planned.
    • What really goes on in the locker room at the gym.
    • What's inside that locked door in your house that no one is allowed to go into?


    • Come up with a 2 person scenario where the characters interact with each other a lot.
    • Be as descriptive as you want, this is a scene the guests have to play out.
    • Scenes that work best for this game have a high potential for rapid dialogue and confrontation.

    Ok, yes, it's Funhaus. But not just Funhaus. We are bringing more of LA to the show on top of that. More news on that later this week. xoxo The Risemonger

  • Thoughts on the Ghost in the Shell Movie (It's a Long Read)

    5 months ago

    BlackPenguin Guardian x7; Panel Lead

    Three things up front.  One, I'm easy to please.  Two, I watch a lot of anime and I've seen all of the GitS anime except half of the Arise timeline (so around 85% of the franchise).  Three, I like to think that I am aware of and understand the racial/cultural complexity of the issues surrounding this movie, but I acknowledge and recognize that I may have experiential and cultural blindspots.  So, with that out of the way...

    tl;dr - I liked it

    And honestly, it took me a little while to figure out if I did.  I had to view this movie from many angles.  I was so in my own head while watching it, that the whole experience was too meta.  In real time I was measuring this movie as a GitS fan, a movie-goer, an arbiter of public opinion, and someone just trying to have a good time.  Seriously, I had a hard time just watching it and taking it in.

    I thought a lot about how to talk about this movie.  In the end, I think it's best to talk about it from multiple angles.  Some of these angles come from eager-to-be-entertained places.  Others come from "prove me wrong" places.  Combined, they form my overall opinion, which I detail at the end.

    The Sci-Fi Movie Angle - 8/10

    It was serviceable, and even fun at times.  It looked real good, and had good action.  It was a little noisy, visually.  The story wasn't that remarkable, but easy fodder for science fiction (cyborgs, futuristic society, very shiny).  It felt kind of Matrix-ish at times (which is funny, since GitS was an inspiration for The Matrix).  It got passing scores on all my sci-fi criteria.  I'd love to watch it on FX or TNT once a year.

    ScarJo was...okay.  Which is par for the course.  I'm not a ScarJo hater either. I first heard of her in The Perfect Score, and only really took notice after The Island.  Since then, I've thought she was okay.  Not great, but not bad.  I'm not one to hate on actors.  Her performance was between "meh" and decent.  She didn't steal the show, but was satisfactory.  Her action scenes were believable enough.  When it comes to action, I've accepted that 65% of performances are "meh" and must be approached with appropriate suspension of disbelief (whereas 25% are pretty good, and 10% are phenomenal).  The end of the thermoptic camo footchase was her action highlight, I thought.  The way she grabbed that guy and punched him out seemed very Major-like.  That was the most she felt like a cyborg for me.  That and the tank scene at the end.

    This is the rosiest of my angles.  And if that seems too complimentary, it helps to know the context of how I how determine what is a good and bad movie.  Let me say something about the concept of a bad movie.  Most people don't know what a bad movie is.  Yeah, I said that.  I wrote a journal about this three years ago, and I encourage you to read my thoughts. It may explain why I have more patience with movies than some other people do.

    The Casual Ghost in the Shell Fan Angle - 7/10

    I must admit, this movie has the look and feel of the GitS franchise.  They did a good job of creating the atmosphere of some of the most iconic shots from the movies and anime (at least, the best you can with live action).  Most of the main cast from the movies and series was in it, or at least, all the memorable ones.  They added a female team member who wasn't in the franchise, but she fit in well and it was no big deal.

    The thermoptic camo footchase was recreated pretty well.  It lacked the eerie feeling from the movie, but it would have been jarring to fully recreate that just after the previous scene.  The tank fight was okay for the most part.  For being perhaps the most iconic of any GitS scene, it was a little disappointing but still really rewarding to finally see it in live action.  But it was neat that they changed it up a little and had Kuze be the one who got grabbed by the tank.  I thought that was a smart way to keep in that little ragdoll tidbit.

    There were so many little things here and there throughout the whole movie.  The cyborg hands on Aramaki's assistant, the thermoptic hand wave at the endTogusa's gun (I think), Batou's dog, etc.  This movie was filled with Easter eggs from the franchise.  There was enough in it to satiate the casual GitS fan.  And even the bodysuit, in my opinion, was a great effort.  There was no better way to faithfully recreate some of the things from the anime.

    And honestly, it we really look at it, this movie is the best Hollywood movie to ever be based on an anime franchise.  Because we all know that Dragonball: Evolution should not have seen the light of day.

    The Hardcore Ghost in the Shell Fan Angle - 4/10

    For fuck's sake, this movie was a Frankenstein's monster of shit from all over the franchise.  Literally every timeline was referenced in this movie (check out my breakdown of the timelines if you're curious).  They took decades of complicated storylines, and tried to make a casserole out of everything they could find.  They then mixed it all up and made a shitload of references like it was a contest.  It was very annoying, to see them chop up the franchise to create a mish mash.  By doing so, they failed in doing the franchise justice.  This thing was less than the sum of its parts.  Here are some titles from the franchise, and some things they took from them:

    Ghost in the Shell movie (1995)

    -opening shelling scene

    -opening building jump

    -thermoptic camo chase scene

    -tank fight

    -thermoptic hand wave at the end

    Innocence (2004 sequel)

    -Batou's dog

    -the geisha's face design

    Stand Alone Complex (2002-2006)

    -the geisha scene

    -Hideo Kuze

    Arise (2013-2015)

    -the Major's hallucinations

    -Major's outfit in the club scene (in my opinion)

    They also got some things very wrong, or at least, different.  The character that ScarJo chases during the thermoptic chase scene is actually a combination of two different characters from the original movie.  The person who was driving the garbage truck and the person who was being chased were two different people in the 1995 movie.

    Also, the tank fight scene originally takes place in a building, not in an open area.  Not to mention that they changed what happens to who, took someone out of it, added someone, and even altered the ending.

    A nitpick would also be the Major's avatar during the deep dive scene.  In Stand Alone Complex, she used a different physical appearance when employing the use of an avatar while diving in the internet and various systems.

    Another nitpick would be the boat scene.  In both the 1995 movie and the live action movie, the Major went diving underwater.  In both, she felt fear while being underwater.  But in the 1995 version they suggest that the main reason she felt afraid was because she had to use "floaters" to avoid sinking, and that a cyborg being underwater would be a thrill-seeking activity (see the first 20 seconds of this video).

    And let's not even get started on the wholly fabricated storyline of the entire movie in which she was an experiment and weapon made by a corporation.  In Stand Alone Complex she was cyberized after a plane crash at the age of 6.  And in Arise, I read, she was cyberized as a fetus.  But perhaps the greatest offense was the combination of two different franchise villains to make the villain in the live action movie.  They took the concept and motivation of the Puppet Master from the 1995 movie, along with the name and part of the character design of Hideo Kuze from SAC, and mushed them together.

    So, from the standpoint of Ghost in the Shell connoisseurs and hardcore fans, this movie takes what it needed from the whole franchise in order to produce a product for the masses.  They selected elements from separate continuities and chronologies, fabricated their own, and sewed them all together.  It was at once novel, and frustrating.  But most of all, disappointing.

    In Light of the Whitewashing Controversy Angle - D+/C-

    This angle is a bit long-winded.

    To clarify, this rating is not based on whitewashing and casting alone.  If it was, it'd be much lower.  I tried to come up with a quantifiable number (based on a complex and pervasive issue in Hollywood) that I could measure and deduct from my baseline enjoyment on a 10-point scale.  But how do you measure personal outrage and the reality of media?  It seemed both impossible, as well as an undercut of a nuanced issue.  So, I changed it to a letter grade.  I basically take the score and experience of my sci-fi angle, and factor in the movie's ability to assuage the concerns of whitewashing.  The result?

    It didn't do it.

    This angle can be best explained in three ways:

    Source Material on the Main Cast (Public Security Section 9)

    It's arguable that the Major is Caucasian in appearance.  However, it must be acknowledged that - as far as I can tell - her race has never been definitive.  They never explicitly say she's Caucasian.  And in my opinion, when it comes to anime, you can not go by appearances when determining race (those hair colors don't occur in nature).  Not to mention that she is in an artificial body, and race becomes mutable or even irrelevant.  We never see her face before cyberization.  In fact, I am unaware of any mention of even her parents' races.  And it should also be noted that she served in the Japanese Ground Self-Defense Force.  In my opinion, there was nothing in the source material that said she should be Caucasian.  In fact, a case could more easily be made that she was supposed to be Japanese, considering her home country is Japan.

    Regarding the rest of the main cast, they got 4/7 right by the source material.  Chief AramakiTogusa, and Saito (by most accounts) are Asian in the anime.  In the live action movie, each character is played by an Asian actor.  Batou, by my research, was recruited from the US Army Rangers.  It would not be incongruent for him to be played by a Caucasian actor (which he was).  Ishikawa and Borma on the other hand, both served in (or with) the Japanese military.  If I had to bet, these two characters were Japanese.  In the movie, they were played by Australian and Zimbabwean born actors.  The last main character from the anime franchise, Paz, was not even in the movie.  Paz was most certainly Japanese, since he was in multiple yakuza groups before joining Section 9.  This character was wholly replaced by a completely new female team member named Ladriya (whose actress is of Kurdish and Polish origin).  This character was not in the anime or manga.

    So, the movie accurately portrays the race of four main characters, changes the race of two, and drops one for a new character of a different ethnicity.  That's all in addition to the lead character.  I'd say they got the main cast's races right by 50-62%, depending on your tolerance for the Major's race.  I'll let you decide how much that matters.

    Portrayal of Asians in the Movie

    Yeah, not good.  The majority of Asians in the movie were bad guys, who were killed or defeated by white characters.  The only non-villainous Asian characters (outside of the main characters) were a couple female characters that had a collective 30 seconds of screen time.  And even the prominent Asian characters were tertiary to the story.

    Also, what's up with Aramaki being the only one who spoke Japanese?  Throw some more Japanese in there man.  It was almost like the writers wanted to emphasize his unwillingness to speak English, more than the other characters' understanding of Japanese.

    A friend recently tweeted a link to a Hollywood Reporter article in which four Japanese actresses discuss the Ghost in the Shell movie and whitewashing in general.  I would HIGHLY recommend reading it.  It's a very good read, and touches on some things you may not realize.

    For one, there was a prominent Asian actress in the movie that no one could remember.  It turns out, her contribution was her face.  They only used her likeness for the geishas' face design.  That's it.  On its face (wink), that was a big cop out.

    One thing they talked about was the twist at the end, in which it was revealed that the Major and Kuze were previously Japanese, and that they were cyberized as Caucasian as part of an experiment.  My reaction was one of "ah, way to go".  I perceived that as a sort of racism Trojan horse, in which the writers made it a meta-statement on whitewashing itself.  I was ready to give the movie credit for that.  However, I was wondering how that would go over for Asian audiences.  It was not a surprise that the four Japanese actresses in the article did not like it.  I can totally see how they would perceive that as comedic, or even pathetic.  It would also be an eyebrow raiser if the writers, as Ai Yoshihara suggested, wrote that plot point as a deliberate counter to whitewashing concerns.  One would hope that that would be an independent decision.

    The article is also very intriguing in its breakdown of the differences between western and Asian cultures, and how that affects the believability of Asians in American media.  I won't get into it too much, but let me just say, the scene where the Major's mother invites her in without knowing her was also very weird to me (as a Hispanic American).  I thought maybe she operated a business out of her apartment, and was treating the Major as a potential customer.  Because otherwise, it was just plain weird, even for western culture.  Also, regarding the touchy feely scene at the end, I doubt American audiences would have liked it as much if it went down the way the four actresses said it should have.  Which sucks, because I wish that scene was more genuine and true to form like the actresses outlined, and that Hollywood didn't always go for such a formulaic resolution.

    On the Topic of Hollywood and Whitewashing (but wait, keep reading!  It's almost over)

    Real talk, it's a pervasive problem in the culture of American media.  The focus is increasingly on Asian actors as of late - which is undeniable - but the problem has been around forever.  Whether it's Tilda Swinton in Doctor Strange in 2016, Jake Gyllenhaal in Prince of Persia in 2010, or even Ben Kingsley in Gandhi in 1982 - it's a problem that has persisted (though Kingsley does have Indian heritage, his performance was phenomenal, and the film was well-received in India).  So, any analysis that doesn't acknowledge this reality is incomplete.

    It is also very arguable, as is the common refrain, that many of these types of movies would not be successful (or even greenlit) if a less popular Asian actor was cast as the lead.  At least, in America.  In my opinion, these decisions are not as important for international success. But, as in most Hollywood productions, the target demographic is Americans.  Therefore, the motivations behind this culture of casting are not beyond comprehension.

    However, this is only an explanation, and not an excuse.  Understandable, yes.  But not a validation of the practice.  Because regardless of the reasons behind it, this is not right.  And the damage it is doing is real.  At a minimum, it contributes to a racial hierarchy among characters in American media, resulting in bias that negatively affects Asian actors in the industry.  At worst, it leads to Asians being seen as sub-relevant in their contributions - or even caricatured - within greater society.  In both instances, the result is the marginalization of Asian people and Asian culture.

    The past three paragraphs were my attempt to lay out the reality of issue, as objectively as I could.  If you're very concerned about whitewashing, those paragraphs might seem too lenient on Hollywood (or even unnecessarily impartial).  If you disregard whitewashing concerns, those paragraphs probably came off as pandering.  So let me use the next paragraph to voice my personal opinion on the issue.

    Of course whitewashing fucking exists (let's just establish that).  I understand why people may want to deny it, or downplay its prevalence.  I can acknowledge the reality of "outrage culture", and how it has changed our perception and trust on many issues.  But those that dismiss whitewashing concerns are being disingenuous at best, and willfully ignorant at worst.  Because not all of whitewashing is a byproduct.  Indeed, part of it is born of willful and deliberate disregard for Asian perspectives. Hollywood needs to get off its ass and take a long hard look at itself.  Someone just take a fucking chance.  In the age of streaming, surely someone will find a risk-free way to start changing the culture.  I suggest we start with the hair streak trope.

    To Sum Up This One Angle

    The movie did not, in my opinion, assuage the whitewashing concerns.  The adherence to characters' races from the source material was lacking, the relevance of Asian characters to the overall story was minimal, and it's portrayal of Asian culture was very off the mark.  So, that's why I give it a low grade in this angle.


    So many angles!  What do they mean?!

    Well for one, they mean this movie came with so much baggage.  I can't remember the last movie that had so much.  Maybe The Interview?  I'm not sure.  But in the end, I think it's hard to give an objective review of the movie.  It's a sci-fi movie with a good size budget, a lead actress that some people deride, it's based on source material from another country loved by fans of varying intensity, and it has a controversy surrounding its casting.  As a lover of sci-fi, it was baseline entertaining.  As a huge fan of both GitS and anime, it was unfulfilling but very rewarding.  Unfulfilling in the sense that it didn't do full justice to the original, but rewarding that it was a full-throated attempt by Hollywood to make a movie based on an anime (which I appreciated).  The movie also satisfied much of my GitS fan service itches.  But within a greater consideration of society and Hollywood culture, it was unsurprisingly unfulfilling, as well as a perpetuation of the status quo.

    In trying to make sense of all these, I came to the conclusion that it was indeed worth it to see this movie.  It was worth the money and effort, and I had a good time.  It fell short of my hopes, but not my expectations.  Admittedly, I really wanted this movie to be good.  I imagine that this might be a determining factor in how I perceive it.  When you want to like something, a lot of the time you end up liking it.  Nonetheless, I found the movie to be satisfactory.

    If you want to see this movie yourself, I suggest determining why you want to see it and what you want from it beforehand.  I think that will be the best way to not only measure it against your expectations/hopes, but also to make the experience as pleasant as possible.

  • Ghost in the Shell Anime Timeline & Watch Order

    5 months ago

    BlackPenguin Guardian x7; Panel Lead

    The latest episode of Fan Service was dedicated to Ghost in the Shell.  It's one of the best anime franchises out there, and I highly recommend watching it.  Unfortunately, the series is quite convoluted since it has multiple timelines and redundant releases.  They did a good job of laying out the timelines in Fan Service, but I thought I would post a run-down of each release and where it falls in the timeline, followed by my recommended watch order.

    Ghost in the Shell Anime Timeline

    First Timeline – Original Movies

    1. Ghost in the Shell (1995)

    2. Ghost in the Shell 2: Innocence (2004)

    3. Ghost in the Shell 2.0 [remaster of original '95 movie, 3D visuals added] (2008)

    Second Timeline – Stand Alone Complex (the tv series)

    1. GitS: SAC Season 1 [26 episodes] (2002-2003)

    2. GitS: SAC Season 2, AKA "2nd Gig", [26 episodes] (2004-2005)

    3. GitS: SAC – The Laughing Man [compilation movie of main Season 1 arc] (2005)

    4. GitS: SAC – Individual Eleven [compilation movie of main Season 2 arc] (2006)

    5. GitS: SAC – Solid State Society [movie finale of SAC timeline] (2006)

    Extra: Tachikoma Days (funny non-canon post-credit shorts from SAC, 1-2 mins each) [52 eps]

    Third Timeline – Arise (the prequels)

    1. Border 1 – Ghost Pain [OVA] (2013)

    2. Border 2 – Ghost Whispers [OVA] (2013)

    3. Border 3 – Ghost Tears [OVA] (2014)

    4. Border 4 – Ghost Stands Alone [OVA] (2014)

    5. Alternative Architecture [10 eps, compilation of OVAs plus new material] (2015)

    6. GitS: The New Movie [movie finale(?) of Arise timeline] (2015)

    My Recommended Watch Order

    My watch order follows the timelines, and is basically release order as well.

    1. Ghost in the Shell (1995)

    2. Ghost in the Shell 2: Innocence (2004)

    3. GitS: SAC Season 1 (2002-2003)*

    4. GitS: SAC Season 2, AKA "2nd Gig" (2004-2005)*

    5. GitS: SAC – Solid State Society (2006)

    6. Alternative Architecture (2015) OR Borders 1-4 (2013-2014) & then last two eps of AA**

    7. GitS: The New Movie (2015)

    *If you're pressed for time, and don't mind condensed storylines, you can substitute The Laughing Man (2005) for number 3 and Individual Eleven (2006) for number 4.  Those movies re-edit the main storyline from the first two SAC seasons.  I don't recommend it though, since the original series is how it was initially released.  The pacing is better in SAC, and the compilation movies don't contain 100% of the series.  But if you just want a refresher, the compilation movies are fine.  But keep in mind, the english voice actors are different for the compilation movies.  Also, Tachikoma Days are found after each SAC episode's credits.  So, you won't get those.

    **For number 6, the only difference is the order of the story.  Episodes 1-8 of Alternative Architecture are just re-cuts of Borders 1-4, but in a different order.  Episodes 9-10 of Alternative Architecture are new though, and can't be found in the Borders.  Hence the two options.  Not much difference between these two options (other than a new OP in AA).

    I put the movies first, because that's how it all started.  You should not dive into the GitS franchise without seeing the original movie first (don't bother with 2.0, it's widely considered a step down from the original, with changes generally regarded as unnecessary or even terrible).  The second movie is a good segue from the first as well, so that's why I put it next.  I then suggest the SAC timeline so you can really get to know the characters, and see what kinds of relationships they have with each other.  The series was what really gave the franchise legs, and it is far more geo- and sociopolitical than the movies.  There are wider story arcs, and more development/exposition on the character level.  I saved the Arise timeline for last for a couple reasons.  First, it's much newer than the other titles.  As a result, it looks much shinier and crisp than the other releases in the franchise.  It's much easier to go from older stuff to new, than the other way around.  The other reason I saved the Arise timeline for last, is because it is far more satisfying to see how the band got together if you're already invested in them.  By watching SAC before Arise, you can better appreciate the reveals in Arise.

    Keep in mind, these are different timelines.  The continuity is not 100%.  But they complement each other very well, and each comprise a fantastic take on independent and overlapping storylines.

  • On The Spot Submission Thread #89

    5 months ago

    Jon The Risemonger

    I'm told if we get to a certain number of new First members by the end of this week then I will be replaced with a puppet for this week's episode. Make a young muppet-loving boy's dream come true and make it happen people.


    • Finish the sentence: How to...?
    • Feel free to submit more than one idea.


    • Come up with a 2 person scenario where the characters interact with each other a lot.
    • Be as descriptive as you want, this is a scene the guests have to play out.
    • Scenes that work best for this game have a high potential for rapid dialogue and confrontation.
      You give me a story and I make them act it out. This week I'm looking for prompts involving:
      • Strange reasons to have an argument with your significant other.
      • Conversations from history you'd love to have been there for.
      • Or you can always fill in your own story idea if you think you got a good one.


    • Give me a person, a place and a genre.
    • Pro tip: don't use Rooster Teeth staff as your person (including me). Let's leave RT people in the Lazer Team extended universe where they belong.
    • Pro tip #2: don't suggest Trump. I'll ignore it.

    xoxo The Risemonger

  • On The Spot Submission Thread #88

    6 months ago

    Jon The Risemonger

    Sorry these are late this week. Was too busy hanging out with my buddy, Armie Hammer, last night at the premiere of his new movie. Armie is so clingy, I couldn't get away.


    • Go to and find a word or phrase for guests to guess a definition for.
    • Pro tip: try and find words/phrases that are not just weird sex position descriptions.
    • No racial slurs, please.


    • Give me a person, a place and a genre.
    • Pro tip: don't use Rooster Teeth staff as your person (including me). Let's leave RT people in the Lazer Team extended universe where they belong.
    • Pro tip #2: don't suggest Trump. I'll ignore it.


    • Come up with a category for the guests to list off possible answers for (i.e. Things not to say after someone says "I love you" for the first time.)
    • Category with a lot of possibilities for answers are the best.

    Real talk, Armie Hammer is walking human perfection in real life. That fucker rocked an off-white cotton suit with white Converse high tops. xoxo The Risemonger