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  • Been awhile update

    2 weeks ago

    imbriaarts

    So I haven't posted in awhile here as much as I have elsewhere... Been working on art per regularly doing at least one drawing a week on my Deviant Art page http://imbriaart.deviantart.com/ 

    Some fans from here have been asking me to do more stuff with series like RWBY and so I started a project that is on hold till I finish Demon Blade #2 and that is a RWBY fan comic that focuses on the story with STRQ but also gives a cute look at Ruby and Yang growing up. 

    http://imbriaart.deviantart.com/art/A-Skirted-Beginning-cover-662212923

    I hope to return to it by June but time will tell. In the mean time I have at least one new piece of art a week and would love to hear and see others share theirs with me as well. 

  • On The Spot Submission Thread #97

    3 weeks ago

    Jon The Risemonger

    Had a lot of fun doing last week's episode and I am happy to tell you that we have successfully gotten Kerry off of his addiction to all-purpose flour so thats good. Gimme some prompts:

    ABCs OF STORYTELLING

    • Come up with a 2 person scenario where the characters interact with each other a lot.
    • Be as descriptive as you want, this is a scene the guests have to play out.
    • Scenes that work best for this game have a high potential for rapid dialogue and confrontation.

    SYNC ABOUT IT

    • Finish the sentence: How to...?
    • Feel free to submit more than one idea.

    CUNNING LINGUISTICS

    • Go to urbandictionary.com and find a word or phrase for guests to guess a definition for.
    • Pro tip: try and find words/phrases that are not just weird sex position descriptions.

    BONUS GAME: IMPROMPTU PITCH

    • Give me a person, a place and a genre.
    • Pro tip: don't use Rooster Teeth staff as your person (including me). Let's leave RT people in the Lazer Team extended universe where they belong.
    • Pro tip #2: don't suggest Trump. I'll ignore it.

    xoxo The Risemonger

  • On The Spot Submission Thread #96

    4 weeks ago

    Jon The Risemonger

    Not gonna lie. It was kind of fun being a contestant. I'm not saying I was good at it. Just saying it was easier than being in charge the whole time. Here is what we're playing this week:


    IMPROMPTU PITCH

    • Give me a person, a place and a genre.
    • Pro tip: don't use Rooster Teeth staff as your person (including me). Let's leave RT people in the Lazer Team extended universe where they belong.
    • Pro tip #2: don't suggest Trump. I'll ignore it.

    SYNC ABOUT IT

    • Finish the sentence: How to...?
    • Feel free to submit more than one idea.

    COME AGAIN? You give me a prompt for a scene and I make them act it out. This week I'm looking for prompts involving:

    • Odd reasons to be in an interrogation room with the FBI.
    • Awkward moments at the bar.
    • Conversations you'd love to see between your favorite characters from fiction.

    BONUS GAME: ASS SWIPE

    • We need suggestions for personality traits of the worst date ever.
    • Submit 1 trait or a even a set of 2 that play off of each other.
    • Feel free to get weird with this one, you've seen how the game goes ;)

    xoxo The Risemonger

  • Woodyman's Backloggery #2 - Capsized

    4 weeks ago

    Woodyman

    Last week I posed the question 'how do you review a game that you didn't like, but also isn't very memorable'? I got many answers but the one I liked the most was from @Alocidej. He said “quickly” So that's how I'm going to review today's game... very, very, quickly.


    Before I do, let me explain how this blog series works


    I have a TON of games I own but never beat, I want to play them all and review them.

    Now there are some RULES about my backlog.

    • Every game I own and never beat was placed into a random list maker.

    • I MUST beat the games in order decided by the random list maker.

    • I can only skip RPGs because they take a long time (but I must still beat them in order)

    • I can’t skip any other game.

    • If I buy another game, it gets put in a random place in the list.

    • If I get a new game I REALLY wanna play, I can make it next in the list.

    • Games in a series (ie Halo) were placed in order from first to last.

    • When a game is done, it will be reviewed.


    Now let's start this week's review.

    Review #2 – Capsized

    zs0b3ST.png

    Capsized is a 2D platformer made from a VERY small indie crew. It's about a crew of astronauts crash landing on an alien planet. The crew needs to explore the planet, repair their ship, fight, and escape. I'll start with the positives. For being such a small team, the design and game is very ambitious. Also the soundtrack is awesome.


    Now, let's look at the negatives of this game. Before writing this review, I was looking at reviews other people wrote and I saw something that really stuck with me. A Steam Review said “the level design works against you” and that is 100% true. The game has a series of levels each with an objective. The objective is either go there, kill that, or collect this. This is fine for the first few levels but then everything goes to shit. The level objectives begin to repeat, making the game monotonous and then the level just get longer and longer. Fuck you level 11. 

    0kzjjKH.png

    This is a keyboard and mouse game with the mouse used to aim and shoot. The controls are floaty and unintuitive. This makes precision jumping, and precision platforming infuriating. They give you a grapple beam and occasional jetpack to help alleviate the issue, but it doesn't help.

    zH3x4v7.png

    The WORST part of this game is the enemies. They're easy to defeat, but their placement is bullshit. A lot of times enemies appear off screen, and can take out half your health before you see them. Even though they're easy to kill, they also deal a ton of damage. They also blend into the background, fly all around, and swarm you. Fuck em!

    Once you beat the game you unlock some stuff, but who cares. This game is meh, and tedious, and sometimes infuriating. Mostly it's meh.

    Score: Meh out of Meh.


    Next game: Sly Cooper and the Thievius Raccooness


  • Rooster Teeth & You: What keeps RT alive?

    1 month ago

    Darkskills Gorlin Goltz

    Today, Burnie's latest vlog was released on youtube. For those who don't have the time to watch it, he and Matt discussed how it is that Rooster Teeth makes money to produce shows, run events, etc. and that essentially broke down like this...


    #1 Advertising

    All the commercials you see before the videos on this site or youtube generate a relatively good chunk of money for the company. They also displayed an excerpt from Parade magazine featuring Camp Camp as an example of this. 


    #2 Subscriptions, also know as FIRST Membership

    As it's been a huge discussion point since the time restriction on the latest season of RvB, this still makes sense. The community largely supports the company. 


    #3 Licenses & Royalties 

    For those who don't know what this is, a good example would be the version of RWBY that was done in Japan, with the Japanese voice actors. The company that did that paid Rooster Teeth in order to legally create it. 


    #4 Events... RTX, Let's Play Live, and secret future events

    While some of the money from ticket sales goes to the vendors and overall funding for events, Rooster Teeth still makes money from these amazing events. 


    #5 Merchandise... Shirts, Music, DvD's 

    Essentially, digital or physical purchases made from the RT store, including Double-Gold Subscription boxes. 


    "So what's the best way for someone with extra income to support RT?"

    Coming straight from Burnie and Matt, the biggest way to help the company is with direct contact. This means buying products directly from the RT store, watching videos on the site instead of Youtube, or simply just being a subscriber. 


    The point of the vlog was basically to say that, despite the Youtube-based

    "Ad-pocalypse," Rooster Teeth as a company is far more secure financially then other companies, and it is thanks to subscribers and the community that they don't have to constantly adapt and change things to survive. 


  • Nearly Finished Unpacking

    1 month ago

    MrWartburg Team Fat

    So a couple weeks ago, I mentioned a few life updates, like moving to a new place. And over the last week I've gotten just about everything unpacked, stored in the closet, and all the cool shit hung on the wall. And the coolest stuff went in the basement. 


    Wall #1

    20170423_102255.jpg

    Wall #2

    20170423_102308.jpg


    Having the whole space pretty much all to myself is going to be pretty awesome, because it means I get to do stuff like keep my green screen up all the time! 


    20170423_184317.jpg


    I'm going to like having room to actually spread out while I'm streaming, instead of being cramped in the same small room where my bed was in the old place. Still playing with the lighting and what not, and working on some back end stuff for the new channel, but it's be a pretty solid couple weeks.

  • At the Screwvies: Episode 80

    1 month ago

    g1Features

    tumblr_oofa00Q84Z1vuwsa7o1_1280.png

    MADHERO: Hello ladies and gents. Hope you're all enjoying your Easter weekend and all that. Now I know this is usually the time where we all then decide to watch 2011's Illumination masterpiece Hop, but we have to leave that be and Baby Jesus for the Starred Wars, and the Thors, and the bald angry men shouting FAEMILY!


    STICKMAN: This time it's not just about being femameielly


    LARRY: STAR WARS? S T A R W A R S


    MADHERO: Also we maaaaay have a review for you as well, but hey, might as well talk this Star Wars thing. Don't think it will get much attention otherwise.


    STICKMAN: Oh no. I hate Captain Kirk.


    NEWS

    DISNEY SHOWS FIRST THE LAST JEDI TRAILER DURING STAR WARS CELEBRATION

    So as we're writing this, Star Wars Celebration is currently going on in Orlando, Florida, celebrating the 40th anniversary of the franchise, which is pretty crazy to think about. Anyway, it seemed pretty innevitable that we'd get our first look of Rian Johnson's The Last Jedi, whilst also highlighting Luke's role and new character Rose played by Kelly Marie Tran.

    After all that buildup, there it was, along with a pretty neat old school poster straight out of a VHS cover. The trailer, as expected with Star Wars, doesn't give away a whole lot, showing what seems to be Luke training Rey on the island we saw at the end of Force Awakens, as well as the Rebellion not having the best times. And sure enough, it ends with quite the stinger, with Luke saying that Jedi essentially have to go. Its a good trailer to get excited about, but then I was excited to begin with. Otherwise it didn't blow me away, but we'll how it is when it comes out this December.


    STICKMAN: So this sure was a Star Wars trailer.


    MADHERO: I think I saw a lightsaber maybe


    LARRY: The tease to end all teases. And ANOTHER Darth Vader shattered helmet shot.


    STICKMAN: There was some vague mysterious lines, the same music from the last one's teaser trailer, the same kinda...shots of a robot, some characters looking shocked, space ship fights and an explosion. They used the same THIS CHRISTMAS animation as the last one too. Even had the same sorta majestic space ships flying over thing shot. Only this time it was red.


    LARRY: I mean, don’t get me wrong, I liked the teaser. But it’s a teaser. And unlike with TFA, I kept that in mind this time.


    STICKMAN: It's more or less the same teaser. Except with less Han Solo


    MADHERO: I admire that they're kinda late with it if only cause TFA's teaser was like a year before the movie came out


    STICKMAN: I find it an issue when people act like it's the best thing ever made. It wasn't even the best teaser trailer that came out this week.


    LARRY: People are obsessed. The Luke nugget at the end was GOLD. It’s bound to be shared to high heaven.


    MADHERO: Are we though? I'm not. I liked it, but its Star Wars. Fans analyze toyboxes for clues. Anyway, looks fun. Looking forward to it. Comes out on my birthday here


    LARRY: Yeah. It’s gonna be awesome.


    STICKMAN: Teaser was fine, didn't do much for me but it wasn't bad either. It's Star Wars. I don't especially get EXCITED. I hate the hype campaign that goes on for the rest of time.


    MADHERO: Did the other teaser we'll talk about so more for you, Stickman?


    MARVEL RELEASES FIRST TEASER TRAILER FOR THOR: RAGNAROK

    So, moving on from the teaser trailer for a Disney owned company's space set sci-fi sequel...to...the same thing, but the other one. Thor Ragnarok. Marvel are back at it again with the 3rd film in the so far dull as dishwater Thor franchise of the MCU, and this time looks...decidedly more awesome? Or at least the trailer did an outstanding job of selling the film to audiences, to the point where it's the highest viewed Marvel trailer in 24 hours in Youtube history. Dang.


    What did we see, then? Well...Thor chained up, and then Thor's hammer getting smashed to pieces by a gothy as fuck Cate Blanchett...and then the trailer actually starts.  Asgard gets fucking obliterated, Thor ends up on a planet and gets  kidnapped by aliens, and then Jeff Goldblum turns up and puts him in a space arena to fight the Hulk in battle armour. Like. Dang. Also there's a bit where a warrior on pegasus horseback is flying towards Cate Blanchett with massive horns on her head in a lightening...planet...thing. And all of this is set to IMMIGRANT SONG?! WOooAOAAHHH. Also Idris Elba and Tom Hiddleston have 2 seconds to do something cool, so that's neat. Basically, this was a fucking badass teaser, and a billion times more exciting than The Last Jedi's, and this is coming from someone who really didn't like Thor: The Dark World, so...yeah. It was pretty rad. Also the colours, children. THE COLOURS.


    MADHERO: Hoooooooooooooooweeeee, this teaser was a load of fun


    LARRY: I like the first Thor a lot actually.


    STICKMAN: First is fine but whatever. Second one is blaaaaaaaand.


    LARRY: Okay that's true. But yes THIS TRAILER IS AWESOME. THIS is how you tease but still give enough to chew on.


    STICKMAN: And third one is an interstellar cosmic boyband road trip with The Hulk in battle armour. So 10/10.


    MADHERO: Dark World is a really by the numbers film. This however, looks far from by the numbers


    LARRY: We got some subtle plot details, some epic action shots, and a FANTASTIC reveal. Call me PUMPED.


    MADHERO: Also, Goth Cate Blanchett is looking mighty fine. Hope she's able to escape the Bad Marvel Villain trap


    LARRY: AND Jeff Goldblum. He looks excellent.


    STICKMAN: Jeff Goldblum and his space goatee. Cate Blanchett and her goth horns.


    LARRY: Shout out to Tessa Thompson too! Very excited for her after her breakout role in Dear White People.


    STICKMAN: Also Karl Urban turns up. For about 5 seconds. So that's nice, he should be making Dredd 2 though, so...naughty boy.


    MADHERO: Dual wielding assault rifles though


    STICKMAN: True. He looks ready. Basically. This was fucking awesome.


    LARRY: Also Thor with a shield. A shield.


    MADHERO: I think you definitely see the hand of Taika Waititi and the fun he has with it. So what if it kinda looks like Guardians of the Galaxy again. Gotg was awesome


    STICKMAN: And then the music kicks in. 10 OUTTA 10


    LARRY: AAAAAAAAHHHHHHH AAAHAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH AAAAAAHHHH


    JOSH BROLIN TO PLAY CABLE IN DEADPOOL SEQUEL

    josh-brolin-cable-deadpool.jpg

    In a…sorta kinda out of left-field piece of casting news, Josh Brolin has officially been cast as Cable in Deadpool 2! Despite several different casting rumors circling around, Brolin is officially in, making this the second Marvel character he’s taking on alongside Thanos (him and Chris Evans will probably have a lovely chat soon). This is a tad surprising seeing as Brolin was never really rumored to be taking the role, but hey, I’m not complaining! Josh Brolin is an incredibly talented actor, and this looks to be another awesome role for him. All in all, solid casting, Fox.


    STICKMAN: Where did this come from.


    LARRY: Outta nowhere haha


    MADHERO: He honestly wasn't in my head at first, but yeah, I can definitely see him as Cable. Still very much had someone older like Stephen Lang or Ron Perlman in mind


    LARRY: Yeah he’s a bit young but he can pull off the grizzled old warrior.

    Stickman: And...like...he's currently Thanos  in the MCU, it's really odd for him to be playing another Marvel character...especially in a series which will really want to reference him being Thanos, but also probably can't? Unless Disney are super generous.


    MADHERO: To be fair he's almost 50. I honestly don't mind he's playing in 2 different universes. Ryan Reynolds (of course) has already made fun of it


    STICKMAN: That's his job now. He has to be HHWACCKKKY. Just look at him and Gylelennahaaall on the Life tour. Funnier than Deadpool.


    LARRY: It’s a bit different here though given that these are two universes going strong. Green Lantern was dead on arrival. Evans took on Cap when F4 went defunct


    MADHERO: Josh Brolin has flexed his straight man muscles on Men in Black 3 and Inherent Vice. Both of which are very flawed films, but he's great in them.


    LARRY: Ooh he’s GREAT in MIB3


    STICKMAN: Remember that other Josh Brolin comic book movie. Jonah Hex. Good times.


    LARRY: NO, WE DO NOT


    MADHERO: He's played in Fox, Marvel, and DC's camps. Who can say that? Not a lot, I assume.


    STICKMAN: Soon he'll be in Dredd 2. Which totally exists, right? ....RIGHT?!


    CANNES FIM FESTIVAL REVEALS LARGE LINE-UP FOR UPCOMING COMPETITION THIS MAY

    QnO8.png

    So hey, Cannes, the moment when film is allowed to as pretentious as possible. Its generally regarded as the biggest and most important film festival of the year, so even though we're a bunch of uncultured swines paying more attention to Star Wars and Marvel, we might as well give it a look.


    Some pretty big names are playing in competition at the festival. Yorgos Lathimos (The Lobster) with The Killing of a Sacred Deer, Michael Haneke (Amour) with Happy End, and other directors like Sofia Coppola, Lynn Ramsay and Michel Hazanavicius. Whats most interesting is seeing 2 Netflix films competing for the main price, those being Bong Joon-Ho (Snowpiercer)'s Okja and Noah Baumbach's (While We're Young)  The Meyerowitz Stories, and Amazon is also entering the fray with Wonderstruck from Todd Haynes (Carol). So yeah, maybe you'll be able to see the Palm D'Or winner online. Not bad.


    In quick non-competition news. Alejandro G. Innaritu (Birdman, The Revenant) went out and made a VR film, and Taylor Sheridan ( the writer of Sicario and Hell or High Water) makes his directing debut. So yeah, excitement all around.


    STICKMAN: This isn't a Star war.


    LARRY: WOO. Lots of great stuff here. Love seeing Joon-Ho’s work displayed.


    STICKMAN: How do you know it's great, it's not out yet.


    LARRY: I meant like great news for certain filmmakers.


    MADHERO: The amount of cool directors out there showing off their films is pretty fun.


    STICKMAN: I wanna see that Innaritu VR film though. That's gonna be amazing.


    MADHERO: Shot by Lubezki, so you know that's probably super pretty no matter where you look


    STICKMAN: Also I don't really care about any of the others things as of this stage. Maybe when I actually see something I'll be more OOOOH. But for now it's like MMM. And I haven't seen SNOWPIERECER so I can't be excited from just that Netflix teaser.


    LARRY: I dunno, Cannes hype is always fun for me. Interesting to see which films to look out for.


    STICKMAN: Cannes is kinda...can go either way, I suppose.


    MADHERO: True, but at least it sounds great, and Netflix/Amazon sending in their stuff is a pretty interesting shift in the industry


    STICKMAN: Remember that time, Larry. When Mad Max Fury Road was there. That was one to look out for.


    MADHERO: And gave it a 10 minute round of applause or something. That tends to be a Cannes thing. That or booing a lot


    STICKMAN: Booing, jeering, and someone saying something they probably shouldn't. That's Cannes. Also some films maybe.


    ANNAPURNA RELEASES FIRST TRAILER FOR KATHRYN BIGELOW’S DETROIT

    So, after a 5 year break from films, Oscar winning director Kathryn Bigelow, who brought us The Hurt Locker, Zero Dark Thirty and...uhh...Point Break, is back, and once again dipping into recent history to provide a hopefully tense and chilling thriller. Based on events that occurred during the 1967 Detroit riots, and starring John Boyega and Will Poulter among others, the trailer was a bit too choppily edited for my liking, but teased another potentially heartpoundingly tense and effective film from Bigelow, dealing with the increasingly violent racial tensions between the police and the citizens of Detroit, something that unfortunately feels all too timely given the recent climate in the US.  It's been a long time since Bigelow released a film, but she seems to have brought her A-Game for this one, at least...as far as we can tell from this teaser trailer. Oddly the film is releasing in August, rather than the usual October-November, awards contending period that films of this nature tend to come out in. I'm a big fan  of Bigelow's work, and this is looking promising, but I guess we'll find out for ourselves in August.


    MADHERO: Our 2nd trailer to feature John Boyega


    LARRY: Well, he's literally in one shot in SW. But sure.


    STICKMAN: Our boy, yega.


    MADHERO: Its hard to tell how the movie will be done since it seems to be snippets rather than a traditional narrative, though our "lead" seems to be Boyega as a black police officer, which boy must be awkward around that time


    LARRY: I dunno the choppy editing didn't bother me so much. I actually really like how this looks and I'm excited to see how it comes out. Boyega looks to be going in deep. Really wish this was happening around Oscar time.


    STICKMAN: I have hopes the film will be good, the trailer was a bit lacking.


    MADHERO: Honestly, I do think August is still late enough for it to be up for consideration. Not like its releasing now. We complain all the time about the Oscar tidal wave of December


    STICKMAN: I think this will be a good film, whether or not it gets Oscar love is another thing. But who really cares about that.


    MADHERO: Possibly, but its a Kathryn Bigelow film that's very socially relevant in stormy political times. It will get talked about. I feel like Hurt Locker and especially Zero Dark Thirty have kinda become underrated as time goes on. Good to remind people how brilliant those films are


    LARRY: I dunno we'll see. Sticky's right though, it's about the quality, and I trust Bigelow.


    STICKMAN: Hurt Locker was a huge deal, Zero Dark Thirty is super underrated.


    LARRY: Ugh ZDT is sooooo good. That third act KILLS ME.


    STICKMAN: YEAH BOI. CHRIS PRATT KILLS BIN LADEN. OOPS, SPOILERS.


    JUDE LAW CAST AS YOUNG DUMBLEDORE IN FANTASTIC BEASTS SEQUEL

    NENmm3fruFBxQT_1_b.jpg

    You thought Brolin was kinda out-of-nowhere? Well you ain't seen nothing yet. We all remember Fantastic Beasts, yeah? I thought it was alright, myself. Well, not too long ago, news broke that they would be pursuing up to five sequels to the Harry Potter spinoff, leading many of us film nerds to rightly cringe in confusion and annoyance. How could you possibly make five more movies out of merely one book? I'll tell you how, BY FRANCHISE BAITINGGGGGGGGGGG


    Jude Law, famous for his many charming roles, has been cast as the beloved younger version of Hogwarts Headmaster Albus Dumbledore. This will be the third actor to don the famous role, and easily the youngest. The film will showcase Dumbledore before he was the man in charge, first climbing the ranks as a professor. However, with no legitimate source material to feed off of, lord knows what David Yates (returning to direct after Fantastic Beasts) and J.K. Rowling (returning as writer) will bring to the table. And then there are those who are thrilled to see how they play with Dumbledore's homosexuality; let's just hope it's not a throwaway line.


    STICKMAN: Dumbledore huh? That's pretty gay.


    MADHERO: To be fair, its not like its only doing that one book. Going very much its own direction. Either way, not the person I expected for Young Dumbledore


    LARRY: Yes but it's drawing from the first book.


    STICKMAN: Personally I was not a huge fan of Fantastic Beasts 1. It had charms, but it felt pointless and needlessly sentimental at times. Also kinda dull. The ending bit with Mr Depp was the lowest point. And any future films are only going to be worse.


    LARRY: Oh yeah Depp is obviously returning for this sequel too So get ready for that


    MADHERO: I thought it was ok, but if a sequel didn't come I'd be ok with that. And I'd much rather they stuck with Colin Farrell


    STICKMAN: I'm not ready for shitty WB prequel film series #2.


    LARRY: I thought it was enjoyable but not sequel worthy. And I'm not sure Law is really the right pick as Dumbledore. I've seen him transform before though so I'm ready to be proved wrong.


    MADHERO: Was a fine little spin-off on its own, but we'll see. Law is a good actor. I kinda maybe had my mind set on Jared Harris (son of Richard Harris, the OG Dumbledore)


    STICKMAN: Dumbledore feels like a character that's been old for a long time, and he should reflect that in casting, even if a young actor, they need...age. Matt Smith maybe.


    LARRY: I mean Dom Hemingway is absolutely a great transformative performance.


    MADHERO: Well too late now unless he drops out. ANYWAY! We don't even know when this is coming out, or when Dumbledore comes out. HEYOOOO


    LARRY: OOOOOHHHHH SNAPP


    ----------------

    MADHERO: Alright. I hope you enjoyed my review of Ghost in the Shell last week, cause GUESS WHAT?! WE'RE DOING ANOTHER REVIEW! Of the action movie that everyone anticipated and is excited for. One that is about to become the biggest boxoffice champ of them all....... BEN WHEATLEY'S FREE FIRE!!!!


    LARRY: WOOOOOOOOO. I WANNA SEE THIS SO BADLY


    STICKMAN: Wait. I already saw it.


    LARRY: ...okay well now I'm just left out.


    MADHERO: You get to next week, but I saw it in Febuary and you saw it recently too, Stickman. So hey, might as well talk about it.


    LARRY: Well I'm gonna sleep now. Wake me up when you're done


    REVIEW

    FREE FIRE

    DIRECTOR: Ben Wheatley (A Field in England, High Rise)

    STARRING: Brie Larson, Sharlto Copley, Armie Hammer, Cillian Murphy, Michael Smiley, Sam Riley, Jack Reynor, Babou Ceesay

    SYNOPSIS: When a gang of criminals meet up in a warehouse in order to purchase arms, a disagreement turns into a full-on shootout between the two parties making the transaction.


    MADHERO: Ok, so I know Fast and Furious 8 is the action movie that everyone is excited for, but if you want your action movie without any torpedoes or car chases, and also filled with incompetent idiots, then this is the movie for you. Free Fire really is just a 75 shoot-out, in one warehouse. That may sound dull, but far from it. Ben Wheatley (for whom this is easily his most accessible film) mastercrafts his scene brilliantly and its all helped by some really whip-smart and funny dialogue and characters to deliver them. Its set in the 70's, so its already a bit over the top, and that tone really helps the film be really entertaining. Its like a match of Counter Strike set in a bunker level where everyone is a terrible shot. If that in any way interests you, or if you just want to see something that's a bit outside the mainstream but not really, definitely check this film out.


    free-fire-400x250.jpg

    STICKMAN: This is both very much a Ben Wheatley film, especially in terms of its casting, but also his most accessible...non-weird one? That's not to say it isn't weird, if you've ever wanted to see a film where 99% of what happens is people going OWFUCK MY LEG, OH SHIT MY ARM, GOD DAMNIT, FUCK STOP SHOOTING, then here it is. It's stupid in a good way, it's frequently really funny, some of the action is actually quite good considering the amateur hour antics of the characters, and there's some sweet musical choices to boot.


    LARRY: So... if Reservoir Dogs met a Edgar Wright film.


    STICKMAN: Sorta, yeah. It's a ton of fun, and really doesn't spend much time taking itself seriously.


    LARRY: IM SO DOWN. I swear this movie looks so fun


    MADHERO: Resevoir Dogs by way of Counter Strike, and yeah, definitely some Edgar Wright in there. Would even compare it to Nice Guys, but besides genre and setting they don't share as much


    STICKMAN: I just love the reactions to the various injuries. It's so genuine and dumb. Like when you stub your toe and you go AAHH SHIT, FUCK. GOD DAMNIT. AAHHH PISS, I'VE BEEN SHOT.


    LARRY: That sounds awesome to be honest That alone is humor in itself

    free-fire-larson-400x250.jpg

    MADHERO: The only competent characters are Brie Larson and Armie Hammer's characters. I also love that the whole thing starts for the dumbest reasons, but to say more would be spoilers.


    STICKMAN: Yeah. I think, really my only real complaints are that some of the action is a bit poorly shot, which I guess makes sense due to the chaos and number of people involved, and also the ending needed a bit more...oomph.


    LARRY: Mmmmmm okayyyyyyy. Keeping all this in mind when I see it myself


    MADHERO: If any of this sounds appealing to you, go see it. Its a absolute blast, and hey, its also pretty short (only about 90 minutes). Great little film that deserves all the attention it can get.


    STICKMAN: It's really great to see Wheatley getting some widespread attention. Been following his stuff for a while now, it's cool to see him building up a following.


    MADHERO: Anyway, now time for the movie that doesn't need any attention


    MOVIES

    THE FATE OF THE FURIOUS

    DIRECTOR: F. Gary Gray (The Italian Job, Straight Outta Compton)

    STARRING: Vin Diesel, Dwayne Johnson, Charlize Theron, Michelle Rodriguez, Jason Statham, Tyrese Gibson, Ludaris, Kurt Russell, Helen Mirren

    SYNOPSIS: When a mysterious woman (Theron) seduces Dom (Diesel) into the world of crime and a betrayal of those closest to him, the crew (Johnson, Rodriguez etc.) face trials that will test them as never before.

    LARRY: So apparently this isn't that good. Like I saw some scathing reviews.


    STICKMAN: So basically, every Fast & Furious film ever. Some cars drive really fast and faemeieallylyy happens.


    MADHERO: Its good, just.... not Furious 7 good.


    STICKMAN: They're all the saaaame. Like, since the 5th one.


    LARRY: Furious 7 and Fast Five are fun movies. And not half bad honestly, Though 7 has some GAPING plot holes


    MADHERO: It just had the biggest worldwide debut of all time, so I'm sure Vin Diesel and the FAEMILY will be ok


    STICKMAN: I don't understand why these films have a following like they do. People expect quality from what's essentially trash. People act like the characters have appeal. It's like. Just watch your dumb car explosion movies.


    LARRY: But the characters do have appeal. They're likable.


    MADHERO: I think its like Michael Bay that you go in for the spectacle, and it has the added benefit of having characters you've grown to like and care about.


    STICKMAN: Who we got? We got. Vinny VcDisealey. We got...what...Amnesia Lady, we got...THE ROCK who's just fun to watch exist regardless of location. Who else.


    MADHERO: Tyrese. The glue that holds everyone together


    STICKMAN: Oh, you mean the guy who just goes AAWW HELLLS NAH, THIS SHIT'S CRAAAZY.


    LARRY: Tyrese is great. Don't diss Tyrese.


    STICKMAN: And then you get some booty butts. And some shit music. And then unearned sentimentality about femaeiaieally and love.


    MADHERO: These films are fun for what they are, and if you know what you want from a F&F movie, chances are you'll get it here.


    STICKMAN: I enjoyed Fast 5-7, but I don't expect anything from them beyond entertaining action and stupidity.


    MADHERO: And you'll get that here in all likelihood


    LARRY: Torpedoes guys. Torpedoes.


    THE PROMISE

    DIRECTOR: Terry George (Hotel Rwanda, Whola Lotta Sole)

    STARRING: Oscar Isaac, Christian Bale, Charlotte Le Bon, Daniel Giménez-Cacho

    SYNOPSIS: A love triangle develops between an Armenian medical student Michael (Isaac), an American journalist based in Paris (Bale) and an Armenian-born woman raised in France (Le Bon) during the final days of the Ottoman Empire in 1914.

    STICKMAN: Promise me, no more Disney live action remakes.


    LARRY: Not that kind of promise.


    MADHERO: Huh, talk about a movie that probably was considered an Oscar (Isaac) movie and then it just kinda faltered


    LARRY: Haha good one. But yeah I'll pass


    STICKMAN: Oscar Isaac sure can pick 'em. For every Ex Machina or Star Wars, there's a X-Men Apocalypse or...this.


    LARRY: Can't pick every gold nugget.


    MADHERO: I mean, 2 big actors, big historical setting, period piece, and then it all ends being kinda meh.


    STICKMAN: Are you saying this is a sequel to Assassin's Creed, Mad?


    MADHERO: Also this movie is probably most famous for getting IMDBombed by Turkish people cause it talks about the Armenian genocide. So that's fun


    LARRY: What an odd controversy.


    STICKMAN: We've certainly come a long way since comedy gunfights and cars exploding into torpedoes.


    UNFORGETTABLE

    DIRECTOR: Denise Di Novi (directorial debut)

    STARRING: Katherine Heigl, Rosario Dawson, Geoff Stults, Isabella Rice

    SYNOPSIS: A woman (Heigil) sets out to make life hell for her ex-husband's new wife (Dawson).

    LARRY: Haha that's ironic.


    STICKMAN: I forgot to watch the trailer for this. AHOHOHOHOHO.


    MADHERO: Remember when Katherine Heigl was going to be the next Sandra Bullock? That sure didn't happen.


    STICKMAN: I don't know who that is.


    LARRY: This film just looks so... like done before. : Didn't Tyler Perry produce a film like this recently?


    MADHERO: Well, Stickman. She used to be a big deal around 2007-2010 or so and before that for being in Grey's Anatomy. Then she slagged off most of her own work, acted like a diva, starred in terrible movies that flopped, and recently she was in a cat litter commercial


    LARRY: HAHAHA CAT LITTERRRRR RIFP


    STICKMAN: I guess her careers in the toilet then. THE CAT TOILET. WOAOAOAHGOHOHH. I have no idea what this film is.


    MADHERO: She legitimately looks like she wants to die in that commercial. BUT ANYWAY THIS MOVIE. IT LOOKS LAME. ROSARIO DAWSON SHOULD BE IN BETTER MOVIES


    STICKMAN: I like Rosario Dawson. Was she in Rosario Dawson's Creek. Why must we fly so far from God's grace.


    LARRY: Welcome to the internet.


    MADHERO: Hmmm, gotta do something to bring morale up. WAIT I KNOW!


    BORN IN CHINA

    DIRECTOR: Lu Chuan (Chronicles of the Ghostly Tribe)

    STARRING: PANDAS! MONKEYS! AND SNOW LEOPARDS!

    SYNOPSIS: "Born in China" captures intimate moments with a panda bear and her growing cub, a young golden monkey who feels displaced by his baby sister, and a mother snow leopard struggling to raise her two cubs.

    MADHERO: AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH, PANDA'S, AND SNOW LEOPARDS, AND MONKEYS.


    STICKMAN: I like those things. What could go wrong.


    LARRY: I like animals.


    STICKMAN: Animals are okay. Especially lizards.


    MADHERO: We recently got panda's here in the Netherlands so its arriving at just the right time.


    LARRY: Honestly this ain't got anything on Disney's Dolphins guys. THATS where it's at. But I'll settle.


    STICKMAN: Well I guess this film is PANDERING TO YOUR AUDIENCE


    LARRY: STOP MONKEYING AROUND STICKY


    MADHERO: Disneynature are generally pretty pleasant films to watch, and beautiful to look at. Aint no Planet Earth, but it tries


    LARRY: ITS BANANAS


    MADHERO: Quit....ummm.. snow leoparding us off track?


    STICKMAN: Disneynature makes like. Films that are fine and pleasant. But also not that exciting. Unlike PLANET EARTH 2. Which was awesome as fuck.


    MADHERO: I think they're perfect Netflix films to just sit on the couch and watch


    LARRY: Disneynature: why reinvent the nature documentary when you can just make some.


    STICKMAN: Oh snap. They also do that with all their franchises.


    THE LOST CITY OF Z

    DIRECTOR: James Gray (The Immigrant)

    STARRING: Charlie Hunnam, Robert Pattinson, Tom Holland, Sienna Miller

    SYNOPSIS: A true-life drama, centering on British explorer Col. Percival Fawcett (Hunnam), who disappeared while searching for a mysterious city in the Amazon in the 1920s.

    MADHERO: Oooooooh, this is supposed to be pretty damn good.


    LARRY: Wait really?


    MADHERO: Yeh. 88% on RT and everything.


    LARRY: Oh. Okay then. I dunno, the trailers meh.


    STICKMAN: Oh daaaamn. What's the score though.


    MADHERO: 7.5/10. I love me a good jungle adventure and it has a really great cast. Also James Gray is a really underrated director


    LARRY: ...whathashedone?


    MADHERO: I only saw The Immigrant but that was pretty good stuff.


    LARRY: Hmmm never heard of him


    MADHERO: Definitely worth checking out, and this film too it seems.


    STICKMAN: I'll watch it on DVD. Maybe.


    --------------------------------

    MADHERO: Speaking of which, that's it for movies coming out this week, but if the biggest movie of all time or a small action film doesn't do enough for you, its now time for MOVIE OF THE WEEK!


    STICKMAN: OWOOAAOAHHWWOOH These ones we actually did see.


    LARRY: M O T W


    STICKMAN: Match of the Window.


    LARRY: Mania of the Widow


    STICKMAN: Mingling of the Wombles.


    MADHERO: As always, this is where we discuss recent DVD releases, Netflix releases, or just films we saw in theatHEYKNOCKITOFFWITHMESSINGUPTHETITLE


    STICKMAN: Mads on the Wampage after we did all these. HE GON HIT ME AFTER THE SHOW


    MADHERO: Maybe I will. Do well on your MOVIE OF THE WEEK and then we can talk


    STICKMAN: WOOAAAHH. I guess I better do that then.


    MOVIE OF THE WEEK

    STICKMAN: SOOOO my pick is a musical. WAITWHAT!? That's right, a MUSICAL. Now Mad didn't edit the blog wrong and mistake me for Larry, I picked a MUSICAL. SO WHAT. Moana, specifically.

    Now I'm not a huge fan of Frozen, and I grow weary of the Disney formula...but this one? OOH. It's pretty dang good, even the music is enjoyable for once. Visually it's stunning, and super creative and colourful...with some jaw droppingly beautiful sequences and shots. The main characters are fun and likeable, as are some of the villains...fabulous sparkly crab? Yes please. It's a lot of fun, there's even a Fury Road reference in there, which is neat. I dunno, I just really found myself quite SMITTEN with this one, I'd say  it was much better than Zootopia, even if it lacked sexy tiggers to fuck, y'know?


    MADHERO: Does have shiny Jermaine Clement crab though


    STICKMAN: Yeah boi.


    LARRY: Okay well Moana I GUESSSSSSSS IS A MUSICAALLLLLLLL. Hopefully one day you'll pick one of the classics but OKAY


    STICKMAN: Well how wouldn't it beEXACTLY. It's got SINGING.


    MADHERO: Its a gorgeous looking film, and yeah, very "Disney," but there's nothing wrong with that


    LARRY: Yeah Moana is pretty good.


    STICKMAN: And it's PRETTY AS FUCK. THAT BIT AT THE END. MMMMM.


    LARRY: Great animation, solid music, Moana is a great character.


    MADHERO: Also there's a scene that resembles Fury Road so its a automatic 10/10


    STICKMAN: With little coconut friends. And Dwyane turns into a LIZARD. 12/10


    MADHERO: Anyway, Larry. What's your MOTW?


    LARRY: My MOTW is one of last year's Oscar Nominees for Best Picture, Hidden Figures!

    I'll be honest, Hidden Figures could've easily been one of those TV movies that managed to make it to cinemas. And in some ways, it is. BUT, most of the film just manages to be cinematic enough to warrant its potential, and it also helps that politically it's doing a lot of people a lot of good. You've got a great cast, with Monae as a borderline scene stealer. You've got a solid script that does its historical figures justice. You've got well paced moments that are bound to tug at your heartstrings. And, most importantly, you've got a KILLER score from Pharrell Williams and Hans Zimmer who are both at their A-Game here. In short, it's no masterpiece and has enough cheese for a wine cabinet, but it's definitely a solid crowd-pleaser and probably the most accessible Best Picture nominee that's actually good.


    STICKMAN: It's got a great cast, yo.


    MADHERO: This movie was a pretty big deal when it came out. And nothing wrong with a old fashioned crowd pleaser


    LARRY: Indeed. I mean, everyone is great. Spencer, Costner, Ali.


    MADHERO: Also mah boi Mahershala is in it. That's always good


    STICKMAN: Wholesome feel-good space movies are the new thing.


    MADHERO: My new twitter account @WholesomeSpaceMovies.


    LARRY: Well Life will probably disrupt that haha


    STICKMAN: Nobody saw that one.


    MADHERO: I don't think that happens in Hidden Figures, which hey, happened IRL, so its also important in that sense.


    LARRY: Oh yeah it tells a truly unique story. Which is something I really admire about it.


    STICKMAN: It's an important story told OKAY. Speaking of okay. Okay Mad. Do you thing


    MADHERO: So for my Movie of the Week, I’m going for a film that probably would have been a Oscar contender had it not been for the Weinsteins fucking it over and leaving it doomed for obscurity, BUT NOT IF I CAN HELP IT! I was interested in The Founder the moment I heard about it, cause its about the origin of one of the biggest corporations in the world and had Michael Keaton in the lead. What could go wrong?

    Nothing movie-wise as it turns out. Few actors can play conniving quite as well as Michael Keaton, and he's perfect as a man seemingly done and ready to go out, until he stumbles upon the keys of an empire. There's definitely moments that make you feel uncomfortable and not like the guy, but he's magnetic on screen. Very much flew under the radar, so definitely worth a look.


    LARRY: I'm definitely gonna watch it soon. This is one of the few movies I've missed so far this year.


    MADHERO: Its a good biopic, yeah. And about really interesting subject matter. Needless to say Micky D's doesn't approve


    STICKMAN: I wanted to see this, but it kinda crashed and burned stateside and got basically no release here.


    LARRY: W E I N S T E I N SSSSSSSSS. Hate them as a distributor.


    STICKMAN: RIGHT!? Hate them. I wanted to watch a film about burgers/ Now I have to settle for Sausage Party.


    MADHERO: Yep, pretty much to blame for it going so under the radar, which is so unfortunate. There's always Super size Me if you want your burger movie.


    STICKMAN: Sure if I wanna vom.


    MADHERO: Well Sausage Party gives you the same effect. Not The Founder though.


    LARRY: ANYWAY ILL WATCH THE FOUNDER SURE


    STICKMAN: When I get a chance SURE. WEEIINSTEEEIIINSSS


    ------------

    MADHERO: Annnnnnnnnyway, that wraps up Episode 80 (wow we've done a lot of these) of At the Screwvies. Hope you got your beach clothes ready, but its time to go to the stars and enjoy SUMMERTIME!


    STICKMAN: 80 episodes of me being annoying.


    LARRY: SUMMMMERRRRRRR


    MADHERO: KING ARTHUR LEGEND OF THE SWORD HYYYYYYYYYYYYPE..... WHO'S WITH ME?!


    STICKMAN: OOOAAAHAHHNOOOOO


    LARRY: HAHAHHAAH OOOH BOY


    MADHERO: Uhhhhh, bye guys.


    LARRY: Buh-bye everyone!

  • Rooster Teeth Fashion Feature: Double Gold Box - March 2017

    1 month ago

    ailsarocks FIRST Member Star(s) Indication of membership status - One star is a FIRST member, two stars is Double Gold Community Stylist

    Hello dears! Happy #RTCommunityDay to you all! I hope you are having a wonderful day, whether you're going to a community meet up, having a game night with your community friends or are just having a day wearing your RT merch to celebrate!


    My March #RTBox was a little late, but it still arrived in time to wear the shirt for RT Community Day! The March RTBox was a good one! Here's a list of what we got:


    - A friendly note from Geoff (with lovely art on the back)
    - A Funhaus stress ball
    - Achievement Hunter earbud headphones
    - Red vs Blue notepad and matching pen
    - Rooster Teeth 14th Anniversary tshirt
    - Sex Swing sticker
    - Card #2 of 12 (1 in 5 Signed by an Achievement Hunter)


    I'm a big fan of this box because I'll get use out of everything in it. As much as I loved last month's box, I'm not sure how much use I'll get out of a shot glass necklace. BUT YOU NEVER KNOW!
    So back to the shirt at hand. The Rooster Teeth 14th Anniversary shirt could possibly be one of my new favourites! The design is beautiful, subtle and intricate. At first glance you see the words Rooster Teeth surrounded by swirly white and gold patterns, but on closer inspection you will see fun little references to Rooster Teeth's hilarious past moments.
    Here's how I styled mine:


    IMG_5126_zpsylimzhzg.jpg


    I really love this shirt because black and gold is one of my all time favourite combinations to wear. It oozes an air of luxuriousness while at the same time being effortlessly stylish. Black and gold is always a trend aware combination and is a favourite at festival season in the summer. Right now, I'm having to wear a lot of my "transeasonal" pieces, so my long waterfall cardigan is getting a lot of wear at the moment. One minute the sun is out and it's quite warm and the next the snow starts! Waterfall cardi's are great because when it's warm you can just let them fall open, and when it's cooler you can belt them on pin them in a bunch of different ways to keep out the cold.


    Another favourite tactic of mine is to mix textures and patterns. The cardigan is a silk/wool mix in a herringbone pattern, and my leggings have a subtle art nouveau pattern too to add a little luxury to the look. Have fun experimenting with different patterns and textures and of course have fun matching your black/gold shirt. Remember, dress to excess!


    So there we have it! Another RTBox done! Did you like the shirt we got this month? Did you get your card signed by any of the AH crew? Let me know in the comments!


    And as always, please tag me on the site @ailsarocks or tag @RTisFashionable on Twitter to let me see your Rooster Teeth style!


    Stay Fashionable ;)

  • On The Spot Submission Thread #93

    1 month ago

    Jon The Risemonger

    We have special guests scheduled for this week. They come from the exotic land of LA. That is all I'm gonna say.


    CUNNING LINGUISTICS

    • Go to urbandictionary.com and find a word or phrase for guests to guess a definition for.
    • Pro tip: try and find words/phrases that are not just weird sex position descriptions.
    • No racial slurs, please.

    IMPROMPTU PITCH

    • Give me a person, a place and a genre.
    • Pro tip: don't use Rooster Teeth staff as your person (including me). Let's leave RT people in the Lazer Team extended universe where they belong.
    • Pro tip #2: don't suggest Trump. I'll ignore it.

    COME AGAIN? You give me a prompt for a scene and I make them act it out. This week I'm looking for prompts involving:

    • Confessions to a therapist that don't go quite as planned.
    • What really goes on in the locker room at the gym.
    • What's inside that locked door in your house that no one is allowed to go into?

    BONUS GAME: ABCs OF STORYTELLING

    • Come up with a 2 person scenario where the characters interact with each other a lot.
    • Be as descriptive as you want, this is a scene the guests have to play out.
    • Scenes that work best for this game have a high potential for rapid dialogue and confrontation.

    Ok, yes, it's Funhaus. But not just Funhaus. We are bringing more of LA to the show on top of that. More news on that later this week. xoxo The Risemonger

  • Thoughts on the Ghost in the Shell Movie (It's a Long Read)

    1 month ago

    BlackPenguin Guardian x7; Panel Lead

    Three things up front.  One, I'm easy to please.  Two, I watch a lot of anime and I've seen all of the GitS anime except half of the Arise timeline (so around 85% of the franchise).  Three, I like to think that I am aware of and understand the racial/cultural complexity of the issues surrounding this movie, but I acknowledge and recognize that I may have experiential and cultural blindspots.  So, with that out of the way...


    tl;dr - I liked it


    And honestly, it took me a little while to figure out if I did.  I had to view this movie from many angles.  I was so in my own head while watching it, that the whole experience was too meta.  In real time I was measuring this movie as a GitS fan, a movie-goer, an arbiter of public opinion, and someone just trying to have a good time.  Seriously, I had a hard time just watching it and taking it in.


    I thought a lot about how to talk about this movie.  In the end, I think it's best to talk about it from multiple angles.  Some of these angles come from eager-to-be-entertained places.  Others come from "prove me wrong" places.  Combined, they form my overall opinion, which I detail at the end.


    The Sci-Fi Movie Angle - 8/10

    It was serviceable, and even fun at times.  It looked real good, and had good action.  It was a little noisy, visually.  The story wasn't that remarkable, but easy fodder for science fiction (cyborgs, futuristic society, very shiny).  It felt kind of Matrix-ish at times (which is funny, since GitS was an inspiration for The Matrix).  It got passing scores on all my sci-fi criteria.  I'd love to watch it on FX or TNT once a year.


    ScarJo was...okay.  Which is par for the course.  I'm not a ScarJo hater either. I first heard of her in The Perfect Score, and only really took notice after The Island.  Since then, I've thought she was okay.  Not great, but not bad.  I'm not one to hate on actors.  Her performance was between "meh" and decent.  She didn't steal the show, but was satisfactory.  Her action scenes were believable enough.  When it comes to action, I've accepted that 65% of performances are "meh" and must be approached with appropriate suspension of disbelief (whereas 25% are pretty good, and 10% are phenomenal).  The end of the thermoptic camo footchase was her action highlight, I thought.  The way she grabbed that guy and punched him out seemed very Major-like.  That was the most she felt like a cyborg for me.  That and the tank scene at the end.


    This is the rosiest of my angles.  And if that seems too complimentary, it helps to know the context of how I how determine what is a good and bad movie.  Let me say something about the concept of a bad movie.  Most people don't know what a bad movie is.  Yeah, I said that.  I wrote a journal about this three years ago, and I encourage you to read my thoughts. It may explain why I have more patience with movies than some other people do.


    The Casual Ghost in the Shell Fan Angle - 7/10

    I must admit, this movie has the look and feel of the GitS franchise.  They did a good job of creating the atmosphere of some of the most iconic shots from the movies and anime (at least, the best you can with live action).  Most of the main cast from the movies and series was in it, or at least, all the memorable ones.  They added a female team member who wasn't in the franchise, but she fit in well and it was no big deal.


    The thermoptic camo footchase was recreated pretty well.  It lacked the eerie feeling from the movie, but it would have been jarring to fully recreate that just after the previous scene.  The tank fight was okay for the most part.  For being perhaps the most iconic of any GitS scene, it was a little disappointing but still really rewarding to finally see it in live action.  But it was neat that they changed it up a little and had Kuze be the one who got grabbed by the tank.  I thought that was a smart way to keep in that little ragdoll tidbit.


    There were so many little things here and there throughout the whole movie.  The cyborg hands on Aramaki's assistant, the thermoptic hand wave at the endTogusa's gun (I think), Batou's dog, etc.  This movie was filled with Easter eggs from the franchise.  There was enough in it to satiate the casual GitS fan.  And even the bodysuit, in my opinion, was a great effort.  There was no better way to faithfully recreate some of the things from the anime.


    And honestly, it we really look at it, this movie is the best Hollywood movie to ever be based on an anime franchise.  Because we all know that Dragonball: Evolution should not have seen the light of day.


    The Hardcore Ghost in the Shell Fan Angle - 4/10

    For fuck's sake, this movie was a Frankenstein's monster of shit from all over the franchise.  Literally every timeline was referenced in this movie (check out my breakdown of the timelines if you're curious).  They took decades of complicated storylines, and tried to make a casserole out of everything they could find.  They then mixed it all up and made a shitload of references like it was a contest.  It was very annoying, to see them chop up the franchise to create a mish mash.  By doing so, they failed in doing the franchise justice.  This thing was less than the sum of its parts.  Here are some titles from the franchise, and some things they took from them:


    Ghost in the Shell movie (1995)

    -opening shelling scene

    -opening building jump

    -thermoptic camo chase scene

    -tank fight

    -thermoptic hand wave at the end


    Innocence (2004 sequel)

    -Batou's dog

    -the geisha's face design


    Stand Alone Complex (2002-2006)

    -the geisha scene

    -Hideo Kuze


    Arise (2013-2015)

    -the Major's hallucinations

    -Major's outfit in the club scene (in my opinion)


    They also got some things very wrong, or at least, different.  The character that ScarJo chases during the thermoptic chase scene is actually a combination of two different characters from the original movie.  The person who was driving the garbage truck and the person who was being chased were two different people in the 1995 movie.


    Also, the tank fight scene originally takes place in a building, not in an open area.  Not to mention that they changed what happens to who, took someone out of it, added someone, and even altered the ending.


    A nitpick would also be the Major's avatar during the deep dive scene.  In Stand Alone Complex, she used a different physical appearance when employing the use of an avatar while diving in the internet and various systems.


    Another nitpick would be the boat scene.  In both the 1995 movie and the live action movie, the Major went diving underwater.  In both, she felt fear while being underwater.  But in the 1995 version they suggest that the main reason she felt afraid was because she had to use "floaters" to avoid sinking, and that a cyborg being underwater would be a thrill-seeking activity (see the first 20 seconds of this video).


    And let's not even get started on the wholly fabricated storyline of the entire movie in which she was an experiment and weapon made by a corporation.  In Stand Alone Complex she was cyberized after a plane crash at the age of 6.  And in Arise, I read, she was cyberized as a fetus.  But perhaps the greatest offense was the combination of two different franchise villains to make the villain in the live action movie.  They took the concept and motivation of the Puppet Master from the 1995 movie, along with the name and part of the character design of Hideo Kuze from SAC, and mushed them together.


    So, from the standpoint of Ghost in the Shell connoisseurs and hardcore fans, this movie takes what it needed from the whole franchise in order to produce a product for the masses.  They selected elements from separate continuities and chronologies, fabricated their own, and sewed them all together.  It was at once novel, and frustrating.  But most of all, disappointing.


    In Light of the Whitewashing Controversy Angle - D+/C-

    This angle is a bit long-winded.


    To clarify, this rating is not based on whitewashing and casting alone.  If it was, it'd be much lower.  I tried to come up with a quantifiable number (based on a complex and pervasive issue in Hollywood) that I could measure and deduct from my baseline enjoyment on a 10-point scale.  But how do you measure personal outrage and the reality of media?  It seemed both impossible, as well as an undercut of a nuanced issue.  So, I changed it to a letter grade.  I basically take the score and experience of my sci-fi angle, and factor in the movie's ability to assuage the concerns of whitewashing.  The result?


    It didn't do it.


    This angle can be best explained in three ways:


    Source Material on the Main Cast (Public Security Section 9)


    It's arguable that the Major is Caucasian in appearance.  However, it must be acknowledged that - as far as I can tell - her race has never been definitive.  They never explicitly say she's Caucasian.  And in my opinion, when it comes to anime, you can not go by appearances when determining race (those hair colors don't occur in nature).  Not to mention that she is in an artificial body, and race becomes mutable or even irrelevant.  We never see her face before cyberization.  In fact, I am unaware of any mention of even her parents' races.  And it should also be noted that she served in the Japanese Ground Self-Defense Force.  In my opinion, there was nothing in the source material that said she should be Caucasian.  In fact, a case could more easily be made that she was supposed to be Japanese, considering her home country is Japan.


    Regarding the rest of the main cast, they got 4/7 right by the source material.  Chief AramakiTogusa, and Saito (by most accounts) are Asian in the anime.  In the live action movie, each character is played by an Asian actor.  Batou, by my research, was recruited from the US Army Rangers.  It would not be incongruent for him to be played by a Caucasian actor (which he was).  Ishikawa and Borma on the other hand, both served in (or with) the Japanese military.  If I had to bet, these two characters were Japanese.  In the movie, they were played by Australian and Zimbabwean born actors.  The last main character from the anime franchise, Paz, was not even in the movie.  Paz was most certainly Japanese, since he was in multiple yakuza groups before joining Section 9.  This character was wholly replaced by a completely new female team member named Ladriya (whose actress is of Kurdish and Polish origin).  This character was not in the anime or manga.


    So, the movie accurately portrays the race of four main characters, changes the race of two, and drops one for a new character of a different ethnicity.  That's all in addition to the lead character.  I'd say they got the main cast's races right by 50-62%, depending on your tolerance for the Major's race.  I'll let you decide how much that matters.


    Portrayal of Asians in the Movie


    Yeah, not good.  The majority of Asians in the movie were bad guys, who were killed or defeated by white characters.  The only non-villainous Asian characters (outside of the main characters) were a couple female characters that had a collective 30 seconds of screen time.  And even the prominent Asian characters were tertiary to the story.


    Also, what's up with Aramaki being the only one who spoke Japanese?  Throw some more Japanese in there man.  It was almost like the writers wanted to emphasize his unwillingness to speak English, more than the other characters' understanding of Japanese.


    A friend recently tweeted a link to a Hollywood Reporter article in which four Japanese actresses discuss the Ghost in the Shell movie and whitewashing in general.  I would HIGHLY recommend reading it.  It's a very good read, and touches on some things you may not realize.


    For one, there was a prominent Asian actress in the movie that no one could remember.  It turns out, her contribution was her face.  They only used her likeness for the geishas' face design.  That's it.  On its face (wink), that was a big cop out.


    One thing they talked about was the twist at the end, in which it was revealed that the Major and Kuze were previously Japanese, and that they were cyberized as Caucasian as part of an experiment.  My reaction was one of "ah, way to go".  I perceived that as a sort of racism Trojan horse, in which the writers made it a meta-statement on whitewashing itself.  I was ready to give the movie credit for that.  However, I was wondering how that would go over for Asian audiences.  It was not a surprise that the four Japanese actresses in the article did not like it.  I can totally see how they would perceive that as comedic, or even pathetic.  It would also be an eyebrow raiser if the writers, as Ai Yoshihara suggested, wrote that plot point as a deliberate counter to whitewashing concerns.  One would hope that that would be an independent decision.


    The article is also very intriguing in its breakdown of the differences between western and Asian cultures, and how that affects the believability of Asians in American media.  I won't get into it too much, but let me just say, the scene where the Major's mother invites her in without knowing her was also very weird to me (as a Hispanic American).  I thought maybe she operated a business out of her apartment, and was treating the Major as a potential customer.  Because otherwise, it was just plain weird, even for western culture.  Also, regarding the touchy feely scene at the end, I doubt American audiences would have liked it as much if it went down the way the four actresses said it should have.  Which sucks, because I wish that scene was more genuine and true to form like the actresses outlined, and that Hollywood didn't always go for such a formulaic resolution.



    On the Topic of Hollywood and Whitewashing (but wait, keep reading!  It's almost over)


    Real talk, it's a pervasive problem in the culture of American media.  The focus is increasingly on Asian actors as of late - which is undeniable - but the problem has been around forever.  Whether it's Tilda Swinton in Doctor Strange in 2016, Jake Gyllenhaal in Prince of Persia in 2010, or even Ben Kingsley in Gandhi in 1982 - it's a problem that has persisted (though Kingsley does have Indian heritage, his performance was phenomenal, and the film was well-received in India).  So, any analysis that doesn't acknowledge this reality is incomplete.


    It is also very arguable, as is the common refrain, that many of these types of movies would not be successful (or even greenlit) if a less popular Asian actor was cast as the lead.  At least, in America.  In my opinion, these decisions are not as important for international success. But, as in most Hollywood productions, the target demographic is Americans.  Therefore, the motivations behind this culture of casting are not beyond comprehension.


    However, this is only an explanation, and not an excuse.  Understandable, yes.  But not a validation of the practice.  Because regardless of the reasons behind it, this is not right.  And the damage it is doing is real.  At a minimum, it contributes to a racial hierarchy among characters in American media, resulting in bias that negatively affects Asian actors in the industry.  At worst, it leads to Asians being seen as sub-relevant in their contributions - or even caricatured - within greater society.  In both instances, the result is the marginalization of Asian people and Asian culture.


    The past three paragraphs were my attempt to lay out the reality of issue, as objectively as I could.  If you're very concerned about whitewashing, those paragraphs might seem too lenient on Hollywood (or even unnecessarily impartial).  If you disregard whitewashing concerns, those paragraphs probably came off as pandering.  So let me use the next paragraph to voice my personal opinion on the issue.


    Of course whitewashing fucking exists (let's just establish that).  I understand why people may want to deny it, or downplay its prevalence.  I can acknowledge the reality of "outrage culture", and how it has changed our perception and trust on many issues.  But those that dismiss whitewashing concerns are being disingenuous at best, and willfully ignorant at worst.  Because not all of whitewashing is a byproduct.  Indeed, part of it is born of willful and deliberate disregard for Asian perspectives. Hollywood needs to get off its ass and take a long hard look at itself.  Someone just take a fucking chance.  In the age of streaming, surely someone will find a risk-free way to start changing the culture.  I suggest we start with the hair streak trope.


    To Sum Up This One Angle


    The movie did not, in my opinion, assuage the whitewashing concerns.  The adherence to characters' races from the source material was lacking, the relevance of Asian characters to the overall story was minimal, and it's portrayal of Asian culture was very off the mark.  So, that's why I give it a low grade in this angle.



    Conclusion

    So many angles!  What do they mean?!


    Well for one, they mean this movie came with so much baggage.  I can't remember the last movie that had so much.  Maybe The Interview?  I'm not sure.  But in the end, I think it's hard to give an objective review of the movie.  It's a sci-fi movie with a good size budget, a lead actress that some people deride, it's based on source material from another country loved by fans of varying intensity, and it has a controversy surrounding its casting.  As a lover of sci-fi, it was baseline entertaining.  As a huge fan of both GitS and anime, it was unfulfilling but very rewarding.  Unfulfilling in the sense that it didn't do full justice to the original, but rewarding that it was a full-throated attempt by Hollywood to make a movie based on an anime (which I appreciated).  The movie also satisfied much of my GitS fan service itches.  But within a greater consideration of society and Hollywood culture, it was unsurprisingly unfulfilling, as well as a perpetuation of the status quo.


    In trying to make sense of all these, I came to the conclusion that it was indeed worth it to see this movie.  It was worth the money and effort, and I had a good time.  It fell short of my hopes, but not my expectations.  Admittedly, I really wanted this movie to be good.  I imagine that this might be a determining factor in how I perceive it.  When you want to like something, a lot of the time you end up liking it.  Nonetheless, I found the movie to be satisfactory.


    If you want to see this movie yourself, I suggest determining why you want to see it and what you want from it beforehand.  I think that will be the best way to not only measure it against your expectations/hopes, but also to make the experience as pleasant as possible.


  • Ghost in the Shell Anime Timeline & Watch Order

    2 months ago

    BlackPenguin Guardian x7; Panel Lead

    The latest episode of Fan Service was dedicated to Ghost in the Shell.  It's one of the best anime franchises out there, and I highly recommend watching it.  Unfortunately, the series is quite convoluted since it has multiple timelines and redundant releases.  They did a good job of laying out the timelines in Fan Service, but I thought I would post a run-down of each release and where it falls in the timeline, followed by my recommended watch order.


    Ghost in the Shell Anime Timeline

    First Timeline – Original Movies

    1. Ghost in the Shell (1995)

    2. Ghost in the Shell 2: Innocence (2004)

    3. Ghost in the Shell 2.0 [remaster of original '95 movie, 3D visuals added] (2008)


    Second Timeline – Stand Alone Complex (the tv series)

    1. GitS: SAC Season 1 [26 episodes] (2002-2003)

    2. GitS: SAC Season 2, AKA "2nd Gig", [26 episodes] (2004-2005)

    3. GitS: SAC – The Laughing Man [compilation movie of main Season 1 arc] (2005)

    4. GitS: SAC – Individual Eleven [compilation movie of main Season 2 arc] (2006)

    5. GitS: SAC – Solid State Society [movie finale of SAC timeline] (2006)

    Extra: Tachikoma Days (funny non-canon post-credit shorts from SAC, 1-2 mins each) [52 eps]


    Third Timeline – Arise (the prequels)

    1. Border 1 – Ghost Pain [OVA] (2013)

    2. Border 2 – Ghost Whispers [OVA] (2013)

    3. Border 3 – Ghost Tears [OVA] (2014)

    4. Border 4 – Ghost Stands Alone [OVA] (2014)

    5. Alternative Architecture [10 eps, compilation of OVAs plus new material] (2015)

    6. GitS: The New Movie [movie finale(?) of Arise timeline] (2015)


    My Recommended Watch Order

    My watch order follows the timelines, and is basically release order as well.


    1. Ghost in the Shell (1995)

    2. Ghost in the Shell 2: Innocence (2004)

    3. GitS: SAC Season 1 (2002-2003)*

    4. GitS: SAC Season 2, AKA "2nd Gig" (2004-2005)*

    5. GitS: SAC – Solid State Society (2006)

    6. Alternative Architecture (2015) OR Borders 1-4 (2013-2014) & then last two eps of AA**

    7. GitS: The New Movie (2015)


    *If you're pressed for time, and don't mind condensed storylines, you can substitute The Laughing Man (2005) for number 3 and Individual Eleven (2006) for number 4.  Those movies re-edit the main storyline from the first two SAC seasons.  I don't recommend it though, since the original series is how it was initially released.  The pacing is better in SAC, and the compilation movies don't contain 100% of the series.  But if you just want a refresher, the compilation movies are fine.  But keep in mind, the english voice actors are different for the compilation movies.  Also, Tachikoma Days are found after each SAC episode's credits.  So, you won't get those.


    **For number 6, the only difference is the order of the story.  Episodes 1-8 of Alternative Architecture are just re-cuts of Borders 1-4, but in a different order.  Episodes 9-10 of Alternative Architecture are new though, and can't be found in the Borders.  Hence the two options.  Not much difference between these two options (other than a new OP in AA).


    I put the movies first, because that's how it all started.  You should not dive into the GitS franchise without seeing the original movie first (don't bother with 2.0, it's widely considered a step down from the original, with changes generally regarded as unnecessary or even terrible).  The second movie is a good segue from the first as well, so that's why I put it next.  I then suggest the SAC timeline so you can really get to know the characters, and see what kinds of relationships they have with each other.  The series was what really gave the franchise legs, and it is far more geo- and sociopolitical than the movies.  There are wider story arcs, and more development/exposition on the character level.  I saved the Arise timeline for last for a couple reasons.  First, it's much newer than the other titles.  As a result, it looks much shinier and crisp than the other releases in the franchise.  It's much easier to go from older stuff to new, than the other way around.  The other reason I saved the Arise timeline for last, is because it is far more satisfying to see how the band got together if you're already invested in them.  By watching SAC before Arise, you can better appreciate the reveals in Arise.


    Keep in mind, these are different timelines.  The continuity is not 100%.  But they complement each other very well, and each comprise a fantastic take on independent and overlapping storylines.

  • On The Spot Submission Thread #89

    2 months ago

    Jon The Risemonger

    I'm told if we get to a certain number of new First members by the end of this week then I will be replaced with a puppet for this week's episode. Make a young muppet-loving boy's dream come true and make it happen people.

    SYNC ABOUT IT

    • Finish the sentence: How to...?
    • Feel free to submit more than one idea.

    ABCs OF STORYTELLING

    • Come up with a 2 person scenario where the characters interact with each other a lot.
    • Be as descriptive as you want, this is a scene the guests have to play out.
    • Scenes that work best for this game have a high potential for rapid dialogue and confrontation.
    • COME AGAIN?
      You give me a story and I make them act it out. This week I'm looking for prompts involving:
      • Strange reasons to have an argument with your significant other.
      • Conversations from history you'd love to have been there for.
      • Or you can always fill in your own story idea if you think you got a good one.

    BONUS GAME: IMPROMPTU PITCH

    • Give me a person, a place and a genre.
    • Pro tip: don't use Rooster Teeth staff as your person (including me). Let's leave RT people in the Lazer Team extended universe where they belong.
    • Pro tip #2: don't suggest Trump. I'll ignore it.

    xoxo The Risemonger

  • On The Spot Submission Thread #88

    2 months ago

    Jon The Risemonger

    Sorry these are late this week. Was too busy hanging out with my buddy, Armie Hammer, last night at the premiere of his new movie. Armie is so clingy, I couldn't get away.

    CUNNING LINGUISTICS

    • Go to urbandictionary.com and find a word or phrase for guests to guess a definition for.
    • Pro tip: try and find words/phrases that are not just weird sex position descriptions.
    • No racial slurs, please.

    IMPROMPTU PITCH

    • Give me a person, a place and a genre.
    • Pro tip: don't use Rooster Teeth staff as your person (including me). Let's leave RT people in the Lazer Team extended universe where they belong.
    • Pro tip #2: don't suggest Trump. I'll ignore it.

    QUICK THINKING

    • Come up with a category for the guests to list off possible answers for (i.e. Things not to say after someone says "I love you" for the first time.)
    • Category with a lot of possibilities for answers are the best.

    Real talk, Armie Hammer is walking human perfection in real life. That fucker rocked an off-white cotton suit with white Converse high tops. xoxo The Risemonger

  • On The Spot Submission Thread #88

    2 months ago

    Jon The Risemonger

    I got to pet a hedgehog last week. Also, I need prompts for the next episode of On The Spot:

    IMPROMPTU PITCH

    • Give me a person, a place and a genre.
    • Pro tip: don't use Rooster Teeth staff as your person (including me). Let's leave RT people in the Lazer Team extended universe where they belong.
    • Pro tip #2: don't suggest Trump. I'll ignore it.

    ABCs OF STORYTELLING

    • Come up with a 2 person scenario where the characters interact with each other a lot.
    • Be as descriptive as you want, this is a scene the guests have to play out.
    • Scenes that work best for this game have a high potential for rapid dialogue and confrontation.

    COME AGAIN?

    You give me a story and I make them act it out. This week I'm looking for prompts involving:

    • Something from a fantasy novel gone wrong
    • Worst thing that could happen at a bar

    BONUS GAME: CUNNING LINGUISTICS

    • Go to urbandictionary.com and find a word or phrase for guests to guess a definition for.
    • Pro tip: try and find words/phrases that are not just weird sex position descriptions.
    • No racial slurs, please.

    Just want to be clear about something. I actually held not one but two different hedgehogs last week. xoxo The Risemonger

  • Four in February 2017: How This Year Fared

    2 months ago

    Elusia Archmage Extraordinaire

    Now that it's March, Four in February is done for the year. On the games I planned this year... I didn't beat a single one. I didn't even play any of them except for a little bit of Shantae and the Pirate's Curse.


    What I did do however, was beat a different set of 4 games, some of which probably not many have heard of. Figured the games might be worth talking about a little bit.


    Game #1: Alwa's Awakening

    A game that actually came out during Four in February (it released February 2nd), this one was on my radar for awhile. It's essentially a slightly easier, more fantasy-themed Battle Kid - a new platformer styled like - and as difficult as - most classic NES games. The difficulty part deserves some emphasis, as there's a bit of a difficulty spike after the first half, mainly in a combination of hazard setups and a small amount of checkpoint starvation. It's not a complete deal breaker, but anyone coming into the game casually might not like it so much.


    As someone who really likes 8-bit art/music style and metroidvanias in general, I personally loved playing this one. Hoping the semi-setup for a potential sequel can turn into something later.


    Game #2: Kirby's Star Stacker

    250px-KirbyStarStacker.jpg


    This one was entirely on accident, cause I didn't know the game could really be beat. I always thought Kirby's Star Stacker was an endless game (there is an endless mode though). Once I found out it's just 5 runs in Round Mode though, I ended up getting through it rather quickly.


    The game's super simple - trap stars between 2 of the same animal to catch them, and collect a certain number to clear the round. It was simple enough that I beat Super Hard difficulty in minutes without losing once. The only real challenge I had was near the end of Insane difficulty, and that's only cause I never knew the mechanic for pressing up to swap blocks without rotating.


    As a cheap Virtual Console game, it's not too bad, though I'd recommend getting it at a discount.


    Game #3: Bleed 2

    Bleed 2 went by so quickly I forgot it even released in February. It was a short and sweet game, so I didn't think of counting it, but never the less it was a game I beat in February. There's not much to say outside of what's shown in the trailer. I haven't tried co-op, but it sounds like a good way to shake things up a little. The game's easily worth picking up.


    Game #4English Country Tune

    Probably the game not many have heard of in this list, English Country Tune is... interesting.Probably one of my favorite puzzle games in recent memory from how it's set up. Simple ideas are shown - push a ball into a goal, push a cube off the map - but the ways to pull off the tasks get more complicated over time. With a couple small exceptions, the puzzles changed relatively well enough that nothing felt overwhelming. Even the exceptions, once figured out, made future puzzles easier to understand.


    This was easily one the best random game I've gotten from the many game bundles I've purchased over the years.


    Game #5Wario Land 3

    ...yeah, I actually beat more than 4 games this time. Good thing too since Bleed 2 and Kirby's Star Stacker were on the quick side.


    I hadn't planned on playing Wario Land 3 for awhile, mainly because I still haven't played 2 of the games before it (I actually have the Virtual Boy one, but no system to play it on). Watching the game on a stream recently though made me want to pick it up sooner. It's hard for me to say what I think of the game mainly because of how different it felt from other platformers I've played. Being essentially immortal for the entire game - while not completely new to me (Bit.Trip Runner also has that mechanic) - felt so unnatural, yet it worked so well. The powerups were well spaced out, and the levels were well made to use them. This felt worth picking up, and makes me want to play the rest of the series sooner rather than later.


    Game #6Castlevania

    Castlevania_NES_box_art.jpg




    Castlevania was the one game in my list last year that I never beat. I reached Death, but couldn't beat him no matter how much I tried. This year, I decided to fix that.


    There's not much I can really say on this one except... I honestly didn't like this one as much as I thought I would. Maybe it's because I was into the later games more. I will say, I do appreciate the game for what it is.


    While my original Four in February plans didn't pan out, I'd still say this year was an overall success. There's still plenty to do for the backlog overall though. Even with 6 games down last month, there's still nearly 850 games left, with quite a few more coming in the next few days. With that in mind, I'm considering a couple games for what's dubbed More in March. For the moment, I'm planning on playing through Horizon Zero DawnHollow Knight, and Blaster Master Zero. Time permitting, maybe I'll get through Breath of the WIld and Super Bomberman R, the latter supposedly being pretty short overall. For now though, I'll at least take some comfort in knowing I made some progress on the backlog.

  • On The Spot Submission Thread #86

    3 months ago

    Jon The Risemonger

    Checked in with Shannon. He's fine. He's also feeling very...cleared out, which is a good thing honestly. Now that that's out of the way, gimme some prompts:


    CUNNING LINGUISTICS

    • Go to urbandictionary.com and find a word or phrase for guests to guess a definition for.
    • Pro tip: try and find words/phrases that are not just weird sex position descriptions.
    • No racial slurs, please.

    QUICK THINKING

    • Come up with a category for the guests to list off possible answers for (i.e. Things not to say after someone says "I love you" for the first time.)
    • Category with a lot of possibilities for answers are the best.

    IMPROMPTU PITCH

    • Give me a person, a place and a genre.
    • Pro tip: don't use Rooster Teeth staff as your person (including me). Let's leave RT people in the Lazer Team extended universe where they belong.
    • Pro tip #2: don't suggest Trump. I'll ignore it.

    BONUS GAME: ABCs OF STORYTELLING

    • Come up with a 2 person scenario where the characters interact with each other a lot.
    • Be as descriptive as you want, this is a scene the guests have to play out.
    • Scenes that work best for this game have a high potential for rapid dialogue and confrontation.

    xoxo The Risemonger

  • Tabletop Tales: Things Sent to the Moon

    3 months ago

    Hanako23

    So I was bored one day and was cleaning out a few documents on my computer when I came across something fun. Back when I was regularly involved in playing Tabletop over a few systems (D&D, World of Darkness and one infamous GURPS game) I had kept track on a few things that our DM had banned from our WoD game, or as he put it: "It's gone! Sent to the Moon!"


    So without further adeu....


    Things that have been BANNED from game (WoD):

    #1 The Wasp Knife

    #2 ANYTHING resembling a Ford Fiesta

    #3 Tuck-tuck-boom-boom. That is all (It's like a Tonka Truck with a Cannon!)

    #4 The Gunslinger Merit (stop asking Jim)

    #5 Fencing Fighting Style. Seriously, WTF guys?!

    #6 Sojutsu Fighting Style. ALSO BANNED

    #7 ALL the benfits of the Stillness Shroud. Seriously, you guys only get 1 dot

    #8 Imbuing and Item as a Mage

    #9 Sasha Grey

    #10 Stacking Flamethrower Damage

    #11 Tazers and any Tazer related items 


    I should probably say most of these took place over 1 campaign.....Our group really did try out outdo themselves on creatvie ways to break the game...


    (on a side note the Moon's looking rather crowded nowadays...)

  • On The Spot Submission Thread #85

    3 months ago

    Jon The Risemonger

    I promise not to make them eat anything this week for redemption challenge. Well, I promise to maybe not make them eat anything this week. I promise to think about not making them eat anything this week. Fine, I promise to do a redemption challenge this week that may or may not involve food. GIMME DEM PROMPTS:

    SYNC ABOUT IT

    • Finish the sentence: How to...?
    • Feel free to submit more than one idea.

    ABCs OF STORYTELLING

    • Come up with a 2 person scenario where the characters interact with each other a lot.
    • Be as descriptive as you want, this is a scene the guests have to play out.
    • Scenes that work best for this game have a high potential for rapid dialogue and confrontation.

    IMPROMPTU PITCH

    • Give me a person, a place and a genre.
    • Pro tip: don't use Rooster Teeth staff as your person (including me). Let's leave RT people in the Lazer Team extended universe where they belong.
    • Pro tip #2: don't suggest Trump. I'll ignore it.

    BONUS GAME: ASS SWIPE (Prompts v2)

    • We need suggestions for personality traits of the worst date ever.
    • Submit 1 trait or a even a set of 2 that play off of each other.
    • Feel free to get weird with this one, you've seen how the game goes ;)


    I ate the fish sandwich from last week. I still stand by the challenge. xoxo The Risemonger

  • On The Spot Submission Thread #82

    4 months ago

    Jon The Risemonger

    First episode of this season and we already got someone taking their clothes off. According to the laws of On The Spot that means we have a good season ahead of us. Let's do another one this Friday:


    CUNNING LINGUISTICS

    • Go to urbandictionary.com and find a word or phrase for guests to guess a definition for.
    • Pro tip: try and find words/phrases that are not just weird sex position descriptions.
    • No racial slurs, please.

    IMPROMPTU PITCH

    • Give me a person, a place and a genre.
    • Pro tip: don't use Rooster Teeth staff as your person (including me). Let's leave RT people in the Lazer Team extended universe where they belong.
    • Pro tip #2: don't suggest Trump. I'll ignore it.

    ABCs OF STORYTELLING

    • Come up with a 2 person scenario where the characters interact with each other a lot.
    • Be as descriptive as you want, this is a scene the guests have to play out.
    • Scenes that work best for this game have a high potential for rapid dialogue and confrontation.

    We got all this physical space to play around in now. Let's take these games to some weird places this week, yeah? xoxo The Risemonger

  • At the Screwvies Awards 2016

    4 months ago

    g1Features

    tumblr_ojw4n4fpLP1vuwsa7o2_r1_1280.png

    MADHERO: Well hey everyone, 2016 sure was shit wasn't it. We're 2 weeks into 2017, and everything so far is alright, at least for now. I preordered the Switch, which may be a regrettable life choice later on, but hey, 2016 wasn't all bad. It had some good movies. I mean, plenty of bad ones, but a lot of good ones too, and today, we're gonna take one final lookback at it


    LARRY: One. FINAL. Lookback. Just thinking about 2016 makes me sad.


    STICKMAN: I just ESCAPED FROM 2016! FUUUUCCKK. WHY WE GOTTA DO THIS


    MADHERO: It wasn't the best, no, but hey, not everything about it was bad, and for the most part, we're going to take a look at that.


    STICKMAN: I was trying to build a wall in my mind to block out 2016 but then the wall just brought back more bad memories. What a nightmaaaare.


    MADHERO: These are the 2016 Screwvies awards, but since we need some time to prepare looking back at that year, why not start with what we're excited about for 2017?


    LARRY: Aw wait we forgot our big opening number. Isn’t that how we do awards shows?


    STICKMAN: Oh....that was...expensive...Okay....


    MOST ANTICIPATED FILM OF 2017

    MADHERO: GUARDIANS OF THE GALAXY VOL. 2

    It feels almost parody to go and pick a Marvel movie as my Most Anticipated Movie of 2017, but with the great batting average that they have, as well as the nerdiness of it all, it always fun to look forward to them. And even with that good batting average, Guardians of the Galaxy stands out as a really great movie, so you bet your sweet ass I'm super hyped for its sequel. The whole gang is back, James Gunn is back to direct, Baby Groot seems worth the price of admission alone, and the trailer showed why we liked the first movie so much in the first place. So yeah, bring on Volume 2.


    STICKMAN: Awww yeah. I'm super STOKED for THIS. The world needs more Baby Groot.


    LARRY: BABY GROOOOOOOOOOOOOT


    MADHERO: How can you not, unless you're a DCEU fanboy, and therefore probably insane


    STICKMAN: And hey, more Rocket Raccoon never hurt anything but my underpants elastic, so.


    LARRY: Gotta love some Kurt Russell too. Playing… a planet....


    MADHERO: And while they hog the spotlight, I'll stick up for my man Drax, the true MVP of this franchise.


    STICKMAN: Also those other people in the film. Michael Rooker. As whistle and I'll kill.


    MADHERO: The fact we talk about all these characters lovingly shows why we're excited. Now then, Larry, what's your most Anticipated film?

    LARRY – WAR FOR THE PLANET OF THE APES

    This reboot series is easily one of the best attempts at breathing new life into a franchise that I have ever seen. RISE was a brilliant start, DAWN was somehow even more emotionally engrossing and heartbreaking, and now we are finally getting our shit-hits-the-fan, climactic war movie. And let’s be clear; DAWN was practically a war movie already, so to get one that is fully encapsulated by it is going to be incredible. Matt Reeves is back to direct and write alongside DAWN’s writer Mark Bomback, with Serkis obviously returning as well. But more importantly, we got Woody Harrelson coming in as a new character, and I honestly can’t wait to see him give a grounded, dramatic performance for once. Also, more apes riding horses. Winner winner chicken dinner.


    MADHERO: I feel like this movie is slipping under the radar and I have no idea why. But man, this series so far is soooooooo good. Smart, amazing effects, great acting, and quite dark. This is my 2nd most anticipated film for sure


    LARRY: Well, RISE slid way under. DAWN was where people finally saw the series’ potential. And now WAR is gonna be… just… an explosion of awesome.


    STICKMAN: I certainly hope so. I fear it might go the Batman route and have a good first film, amazing second and then the third film be really divisive and overstuffed. Buuuuuut I'm super hype all the same. Andy Serkis is my maaaan.


    LARRY: NO!  DON’T FUCK THIS UP REEVES


    MADHERO: I was surprised just how well Dawn did back in 2014, but yeah, this is going to be really good if they can keep up this tone. Obviously we know where it'll go, but it doesn't make the ride any less great. Hopefully they stick the landing


    STICKMAN: Stick the landing, with a MONKEY IN A TANK


    STICKMAN – KONG: SKULL ISLAND

    Speaking of apes. It's time for more MONKKEYY MADNESS because I've picked the upcoming semi-sequel to 2014's mixed bag, but underrated Legendary Godzilla film, Kong : SKULL ISLAND. And oohh my goodness, does this look like it could be quite the treat for us this year. Basically, it's a post-Vietnam War Kong movie with allusions to Apocalypse Now, but with giant monsters and a huge KONG the likes of which you've never seen. It's got John Goodman, Samuel L Jackson, Tom Hiddlessssesestone, Brie Larson, Wreck it Ralph....it's set in the same universe as Godzilla, it's setting Kong up for a smack down with the G-Man in 2020, the film looks fucking insane and awesome and just WOOOOO.


    LARRY: He’s. So. Fucking. Huge. AND I LOVE IT.


    STICKMAN: He's a big boy


    MADHERO: This film looks really really fun so far. So I can see why its so highly anticipated by you guys. I'm excited as well, but maybe less so. Just a bit cautious


    STICKMAN: I'm pretty cautious too, but ...I dunno, this is my kinda film. It could easily be a trainwreck.


    LARRY: God I hope not...


    MADHERO: So far its looking good, so I am excited for it so far. Its looking gorgeous and its got a amazing cast, and it looks a lot of fun too. Plenty to be excited about


    LARRY: The cast, as you mentioned, is also a huge draw. What a collection of talent.


    MADHERO: Alright, time to move on to our next award TRAILER OF THE YEAR. Now, trailers can make or break a movie in terms of how excited you are for a movie, even if you didn't have that anticipation in the beginning. Sometimes they spoil the whole movie, but othertimes they make you so excited you wanna analyze every detail of it. So anyways, Stickman, what was your favorite trailer of 2016?


    TRAILER OF THE YEAR

    STICKMAN – 10 CLOVERFIELD LANE REVEAL TRAILER

    OH. YEP. This one was an early 2016 star. It also came out of fucking nowhere and was for a film that got released just under two months later...yep, it's 10 Cloverfield Lane. This mysterious, but well-made teaser was strapped in front of 13 Hours, a Michael Bay film literally nobody remembers because  why would they. It showed us very little of the film, just the basic premise of John Goodman (AGAIN), Mary Elizabeth Winstead and...another guy hanging out in a bunker, doing nice things...then being a bit dramatic, and then OH SHIT SHAKING CEILING...WHAT'S UP WITH THAAaaAAT!? And then, at the end, without it even being a thing prior to this teaser, it was revealed as a sequel to Cloverfield, the found footage 2008 sleeper hit...and that was that. Cue a month's worth of speculation on just what this film was, and how it tied to the original, and then another month anticipating the release. But where it all started, was with this rather spectacularly scored trailer. Contrapuntal music at its peak contrupanANTTACCEEEe.


    LARRY: I have yet to see this film. But… yeah this trailer was very well done. Definitely got me excited for a film I would have otherwise ignored.


    MADHERO: This was one of the best reveals of any film ever. Just. Bam, here is a sequel (or is it) to this cult film and its coming out IN A MONTH?! WHAT?!


    STICKMAN: Trust Bad Robot to be like OH BTW, HERE'S A NEW FILM. Didn't even ride the whole, we just made Star Wars wave. It was just HERE'S THE FILM, SEE YOU NEXT WEEK.

    MADHERO: It helps that its a genuinely good film that got people talking even when it turned out it wasn't as related to Cloverfield as expected, though it takes that franchise in exciting directions

    STICKMAN: Yeah! A great trailer for a great film which we MAAAY just see more of later. HMMMM? Teasers. With a teaser trailer. For a film.


    MADHERO – SUICIDE SQUAD QUEEN TRAILER

    Uhmmmmmmmm, sure. Anyway, my trailer of the year goes to one everyone was buzzing about, and that was the Bohemian Rhapsody trailer of Suicide Squad. We already had a trailer at Comic Con which was much darker and creepier, and then this pops up and its all OOHHHH FUCK, LOOK HOW FUN AND WACKY WE ARE AND HOW MUCH COOL SHIT WE HAVE. OH FUCK! It took us all by surprise, and it made for a incredibly fun trailer that got us all excited for DC's offbeat entry. If only we knew......


    STICKMAN: OOHHH BOY. DC, do not trust these guys.


    LARRY: Say what you want about this trailer house, but it’s undeniable they know how to make one heck of a trailer.


    STICKMAN: I like how, the first trailer was on point with BvS and very dark. And then they saw Deadpool, and everyone hated BvS so they were like SHIIEEET, GET HOT TOPIC ON THE HORN.


    MADHERO: Well this trailer came out in January, so it was out before we knew how huge Deadpool would be or before BvS was out.


    STICKMAN: Way to make me look like an asshole, Mad. You dick.


    MADHERO: The reception was so good that WB was like "hey, edit it to be more like this'....... more on that later. So Larry, what's your Trailer of 2016?


    LARRY – KONG SKULL ISLAND TRAILER 1

    MY PICK IS KONG: SKULL ISLAND. Remember all those awesome qualities we talked about earlier? Well, this trailer basically showcases all of that. Kong’s outrageous size, the incredible cast, the palpable cinematography and sets, the incredible landscapes, everything. Add that to a killer Vietnam vibe thanks to the musical choices and editing, plus some epic ness for good measure, and you’ve got one of the most intense and exciting trailers I watched last year. It made me 100x more excited for Skull Island, and if a trailer can make the hype soar that much higher, than it deserves to be rewarded.


    STICKMAN: Awww yeah. Personally I prefer the Comic Con trailer.


    MADHERO: It does feel like a way more fun version of Apocalypse Now. I dig this trailer a lot. I think I prefer this new one if only cause its a lot of fun and the Comic Con one sells something more serious (hmmmmmmmmmm), but we get some cool ass giant monsters AND John C. Reilly with a samurai sword. Sold


    STICKMAN: See the first one was more teasing and the music/pacing was better. This one's just like HERE'S FUCKIN KING KOOOOOONNG. Which is awesome, but not as awesome. I FEEL.


    LARRY: Eh. I’d call it more awesome. But agree to disagree.


    MADHERO: We'll find out what tone this movie takes in March. Only one of these that isn't out yet, but sooooooooooon. Moving on, it is now time not for Movie of the Year, but for the individual parts that stood out and made us either pump our fist in the air or left us in awe due to what they achieved. Its the Scene of the Year, and we've got very different choices between the 3 of us. Oh, and no picking the airport scene in Civil War, cause otherwise we'd all pick that. Oh and SPOILERS AHEAD!!!!! 


    STICKMAN: You're no fuuuuun.


    MADHERO: Oh, well I've show you how fun I am BY PICKING MY SCENE OF THE YEAR! I'LL SHOW YOU FUN!


    SCENE OF THE YEAR (SPOILERS)

    MADHERO - SABOTAGE (STAR TREK BEYOND)

    Sooooo I praised Star Trek Beyond a lot when I picked it as my Movie of the Week, and since then its simmered and feel that, while good, its definitely pretty flawed. What is not flawed however is what has been dubbed as the "Sabotage" scene. In the movie its established new character Jaylah likes loud rap music from the crashed ship she calls home. Later they use that ship to warn a colony of a upcoming attack of a huge swarm, and realize they can disorient that swarm with a sound frequency. The sound of choice? Beastie Boys' Sabotage, and hoooooooooooowee. What follows is the type of explosion that would make Michael Bay blush. An tsunami of explosions as Sabotage plays in the background, while still filled with small fun moments like Anton Yelchin tapping his foot to the song. With the ultimate climax just the big WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH to cap it all off. Its the scene I wanted to watch again and again, and did, because damn is it fun.


    STICKMAN: OOHHHHHHHH I CAN'T STAND IITT. I KNOW YOU PLAANNED IT


    MADHERO: IMMA SEND IT STRAIGHT THIS WATERGATE. The rest I don't get because its really loud shouting but damn if it aint a fun song


    LARRY: This was definitely the best scene in the movie. Bar none.


    STICKMAN: Star Trek Beyond was a fun film, not super amazing, but fun. This scene was balllleeer. Definitely the standout moment.


    LARRY: And Chris Pine’s face when like it all goes down. So triumphant.


    STICKMAN: It's  a callback to the 2009 Star Trek film as well. Hence why Kirk is like YEAH BOI. DEMS MY JAMS


    MADHERO: Its not a very "Star Trek" scene, but when its that fun, you kinda don't care. And the waaaaaaaah making the big explosion *italian chef kissing motion* so goooooooooood. That does it, I'm watching the scene again, in the meantime. Larry, what's your scene of the year?


    LARRY – BUMBLE (THE NICE GUYS)

    Mine is… very different. Mine is a small but particularly hilarious moment from The Nice Guys. I call it, “The Bee Scene." For those unfamiliar with the film, a little context: Ryan Gosling and Russell Crowe have just picked up a suitcase of $100,000 they need to… ahem, “exchange.” As they drive to this exchange, Gosling says he’s falling asleep at the wheel, only for Crowe to say that the car drives itself. Gosling is at first confused, but surely enough, the gas pedal and steering wheel begin controlling themselves. Then, as they discuss this new technology, a jive, human-sized Bee in the backset chimes in. Before you know it, it turns out Gosling did fall asleep at the wheel, and it all was a dream. They crash, revealing the suitcase to not actually be filled with any money at all, but ripped pieces of paper.

    Believe it or not, this scene has a purpose. Not only does it allow us to see briefly into the crazed psyche of Gosling’s character, but it also helps us discover that the case is not what it appears. Shane Black was able to reach the next plot point while having some fun in the process. This is easily the funniest moment in The Nice Guys out of sheer absurdity, and it definitely is the most memorable scene of 2016.


    STICKMAN: I can't BEElieve it. AHAAUHHAAOHOHOHOHO


    MADHERO: Bee Movie, but everytime they say Bee the Bee scene from the Nice Guys plays instead


    STICKMAN: Dude sick meme.


    LARRY: Ha, my dream YouTube video.


    STICKMAN: I mean, I wasn't expecting analysis of the stupid bee scene from The Nice Guys, but here we are.


    LARRY: I had to… validate my choice. As you do.


    MADHERO: I love just how out of nowhere this scene comes from. Just bam, giant bee voiced by Hannibal Burress. Hi everyone


    LARRY: Oh shit I didn’t know Burress voiced him. THAT MAKES THIS SCENE EVEN BETTER.


    STICKMAN: I wasn't as into this scene, much like how I wasn't as into this film as you two. It was fun, but like...eeehh...okay.


    MADHERO: I love Shane Black's style, and even this feels like it was a shock. It was the bee's knees. I'd give it a B+


    LARRY: A+ for me.


    MADHERO: .....we should probably move on. Stickman, what's your scene of the year?


    STICKMAN – ENDING (ARRIVAL)

    11-arival.w529.h352.jpg

    Arrival is on a whole a very engrossing and well made movie, but the ending is when it all comes together in a big, heartbreaking gut punch of a twist that makes the opening scene all the more tragic. In the beginning, Amy Adams watches her daughter grow up, and then die at a very young age due to a untreatable illness. We get flashes of memories about the child in the 2nd act of the film, and we're led to believe that maybe the aliens she's been communicating with are getting in her head and making her revisit her past. And then, when she's cracked that language, and begins perceiving time, and memory non-linearly as a result (It...explains it better in the film than I did) we find out that the moments at the start of the film...weren't at the start at all, they're the ending, and...OOOF...things get pretty tragic from there on. She sees herself falling in love with Jeremy Renner, having a child, knowing it's going to die...she sees her relationship with Hawkeye collapse, and how she knew when conceiving a child that it would die young. She sees it all play out, and chooses for it to happen anyway, due to the love she feels for that daughter, despite the grief that follows. It takes an opening montage that's sad in its own right, and turns it into this massive, genuinely shocking twist that's also FUCKING MISERABLE. AAAGHH. It's REALLY GOOD THOUGH.


    MADHERO: Its a brilliant scene and the scene really helps deliver it. Like, that's some really loopy shit you have to sell and somehow they did it. Like, I felt like I knew when she said "who's that kid" but its a brilliant twist that changes everything you know about the film


    STICKMAN: It really turns the whole thing on its head. And it makes you ignore the fact that Amy Adams doesn't age at all despite living 7-9 extra years in those memories. Which is a PRETTY BIG PLOT HOLE BUTTTTTT I'll allow it.


    MADHERO: To be fair, she doesn't look younger in those scenes either, but its really good and why Arrival is really really good.


    STICKMAN: Arrival is a pretty good film, I guuessss.


    MADHERO: Well, time for the big awards, or rahter the awards no one wants to get, the Most Disappointing. Now, this isn't The Worst (we'll get to that later), but the movies that just should've been a lot better than they ended up being. It always sucks to see something you were probably very excited for turn out not particuarly good.


    STICKMAN: Disappointing. Just like what my parents call me every day.


    LARRY: Well this isn’t going to be very fun...


    MADHERO: Ouch, Stickman. Sounds like you need to out your frustrations some. What's your Most Disappointing Movie of 2016?


    MOST DISAPPOINTING FILM

    STICKMAN – JASON BOURNE

    So, the key thing about my pick is that this wasn't a bad movie, by any means. It was just, like the award says, DISAPPOINTING. Jason Bourne, this year's 5th entry in the Bourne franchise, saw Matt Damon returning to the iconic, titular role, and Paul Greengrass returning to helm as director. So, we had an amazing actor, and an incredible director, teaming up and returning to a franchise they helped make  the genre defining smash hit. Bourne's adventure ended on a high with Ultimatum, one of my favourite films. Seeing these guys return was exciting, as was the casting of Alicia Vikander and Tommy Lee Jones in key supporting roles. The trailers came out, they looked awesome, everything was set for Jason Bourne to be the 2016 summer movie that broke the streak of duds....and then it came out and was okay. Looked nice, had a great car chase....but....was very much well-worn ground, and completely unnecessary. It felt like a checklist for how to make an old Bourne film, not the revitalised and reloaded start of a new era for the series. And I just left the cinema...uninspired. I had a good time, sure....but...yeah...was a let down.


    LARRY: Hm. Interesting. At least it was good.


    MADHERO: This was a real big surprise to hear. All this talk about Damon and Greengrass not appearing unless the script was exactly right, and then they do, and it comes out, and its just ok. Weird


    STICKMAN: It's a strange situation. It wasn't badly made, it didn't feel like it'd been chopped up in the editing room. If you like the series, you'll watch it, have a great time, but yeah.


    LARRY: Yeah passable movies are the worst kind. Not much to say other than... "eh."


    STICKMAN: Well I just...it should've been SOOOO much more. All that talent, proven talent in this franchise returning. For it to be merely decent is a huge disappointment.


    MADHERO - WARCRAFT

    So this year was supposed to be the year where video game movies would stop sucking and finally be part of the big boys club. We had 3 major releases, 2 big live action ones made from huge franchises, interesting directors and actors at the helm, and general good vibes, and both got panned like hell by the critics. Now I haven't seen Assassin's Creed, but I did see Warcraft, and while I think the critics were too harsh, I get the criticism completely, and still felt very disappointed by it. Its got some great ideas and moments, especially regarding the orcs, but it doesn't work with a human side that's really boring and underdeveloped, and a rushed ending to make room for a sequel that probably isn't happening, not to mention it being really hard to follow without prior knowledge. I had real faith in Duncan Jones delivering the movie that could break the curse, but that unfortunately didn't happen.


    LARRY: This movie put me to SLEEP. YEESH


    STICKMAN: Dude, I can't imagine being excited for a film set in one of my favourite franchises, with the hopes of it being the mould breaker that saves game movies, only to watch it and find it's disappointing and hard to grasp anyone outside of a hardcore fan enjoying. I can't imagine.


    MADHERO: I know, its a very specific feeling to have. Can't blame for not experiencing it. Its a shame this happened, since Warcraft is filled with great lore to make a movie out of (especially the story of Thrall or the fall of Arthas). But that ain't happening any time soon, and that's really disappointing to see that potential go down the drain.


    LARRY: I remember being so bored by this movie. It almost brought me to tears how nothing was really interesting. Besides for like… two scenes with the orcs, I was just so detached from it all. t felt so FAKE to me.


    STICKMAN: Gee. Just like the Angry Birds movie. So much lore, and such potential to franchise into a movie series...but they just blew it. We'll never see the further adventures of Red.....uhhh...Yellow....mmm....the other ones.


    MADHERO: There's more I wanna get into, but you can find my grievances in my review of it. So Larry, what's your film?


    LARRY – HAIL, CAESAR!

    My film is one you all probably forgot about seeing as it came out WAY back in February. However, it still sticks with me as my second least favorite film of the year, and that’s Hail, Caesar! Directed by the Coen Brothers, this overly nostalgic look at the Golden Age of Hollywood glitters, but is not NOT gold (ironically enough). A solid performance from Josh Brolin and fun, unique twist towards the end are the sole saving graces of this vapid, empty movie. It’s one of those films where scenes… just kinda happen. And that’s it. There’s no strong connective tissue creating a plot, or thematic grounding. It’s all just caricatures being two-dimensional fluff amidst awkward references and hit-or-miss comedy. As I sat through Hail, Caesar… I almost was questioning what I was watching. It confused me how two talented filmmakers could succumb to such lame pandering. Well, while The Academy may have liked this one, I’ll pass for good, thanks.


    STICKMAN: I gave this a hard pass the moment I lay eyes on it. I am not suckered into these GOLDEN AGE HOLLYWOOD CIRCLE JERK FILMS.


    MADHERO: Fun fact: this was former host's Flashpenny most's Anticipated movie of 2016. Don't really know what he thought of it in the end


    STICKMAN: We should call him up and ask. Hang on let me...ohp...no, he's changed his number. And the locks on his door.


    MADHERO: Its a shame. With the Coens you're expecting a degree of quality, and the cast is amazing, so its a bummer it didn't work for you. Don't think it did for a lot of people except critics


    LARRY: This feels like the kind of movie The Academy would nominate. Good thing it missed awards season.


    STICKMAN: They really fooled you all. I guess you could say...The Coen...was on....


    MADHERO: oooof. Time to talk about the real bad stuff. The Worst of the worst. These are the ones you call when you need to need to feel real dirty, and not the kinky kind, that's what porn is for. The one critics watch in disdain, and Youtubers with glee to make big muns. The worst Movies of 2016. Or rather, Movie. Cause in a unique twist, we all picked the same movie, and that movie is........


    WORST MOVIE OF 2016

    MADHERO, STICKMAN, AND LARRY – SUICIDE SQUAD

    LARRY: And here we go


    MADHERO: Oh geeeeeeeeeeeeeeez. I was the last one to see this of the trio, and I thought I was prepared from everything I heard. I wasn't. Holy fuck what a misfire


    STICKMAN: You literally sat through me tearing it to pieces. And still weren't prepared for how bad it was. Suicide Squad is like a plane crash that collided with a nuclear power station and wiped out half the planet.


    LARRY: It was a close race between SS and HC, but SS is just a much poorer final product. Like... it's so flawed on so many fundamental levels. On like EVERY  cinematic level.


    STICKMAN: With Batman V Superman you could be like...yeah...there's cool scenes, certain roles are played well...there's promise in brief fleeting moments. Suicide Squad is just unrelentingly awful in every way.


    MADHERO: Credit where credits due, there's a lot of cool shit in there to make trailers for, but when it all comes together in a 2 hour or so movie, it just completely falls apart.


    STICKMAN: It's a total garbage fire. It made me angry, and fuck Warner Bros for releasing a film this bad.


    LARRY: Yeah something may be flashy for trailers but you need substance to match the style. And this has barely either. Somehow the overall non-cinephile fan base likes the film and I'm just so mad that this is even a moderate success.


    STICKMAN: And, you're entitled to enjoy it, but if you're the kinda person who thinks people disliking this film is some global conspiracy to destroy DC and protect Marvel you can kiss my fucking ass, you stupid idiot.


    MADHERO: I have no real idea who's to blame for this mess, but yeah, the movie genuinely confused me in its badness. There's stuff that works, like Viola Davis as Amanda Waller and even Will Smith and Margot Robbie (though her character is sloppily written), but man, everything else felt like a super big wave of nonsense


    STICKMAN: Will Smith is just being Will Smith, Harley Quinn was bland and irritating. Amanda Waller just scowled for the entire time. Amazing. Cue 90,000 licensed songs.


    LARRY: UGGGHHHHHH. Talk about the fucking dumbest yet most obvious choices


    MADHERO: We could go on and on, but Suicide Squad managed to get one thing right: it united us in its awfulness, so thanks for that


    LARRY: It may not have been the worst film of the year (though it came close), but I think we can all agree that it was probably the worst thing to happen to cinema this year. It was a third strike for a cinematic universe and a showcase of the horrible final products we can get from the superhero genre


    STICKMAN: Basically. The fact that we three...completely different and generally clashing individuals can all agree that this movie sucked a huge pile of shit...must be indisputable proof that this movie was the worst thing out last year. Come at me, DC defenders.


    MADHERO: Well, that we all watched anyway. But yeah, enough negativity. We had that plenty last year. Now, we can finally move on to stuff that makes us happy. THE TOP 5 MOVIES OF 2016!


    NUNUNUNUNUNUMBER FIVE

    MADHERO – THE JUNGLE BOOK

    THIS. MOVIE. SHOULD. NOT. WORK! It just shouldn't, but somehow Jon Favreau and the madmen at Disney, not to mention the geniuses of MBC and Weta managed to create the world of the Jungle Book all on a LA soundstage, and managed to make it feel real and super charming. Its faithful to the original, while still changing plenty of interesting things like Elba's Shere Khan, or the giant King Louie. I couldn't believe they actually managed to create something like this, and truly changes the game of visual effects. I'm so impressed that I'm not even mad that the same team is doing Lion King next, and before that I would've cried foul and say they'd gone too far. That's truly a testament to what is a amazing family film.


    STICKMAN – 10 CLOVERFIELD LANE

    Kicking things off on my Top 5 with a real doozy, this spiritual, mysterious sequel to a personal favourite film of mine, Cloverfield really wasn't anything like its 2008 predecessor. But, honestly? It's all the more better for being its own beast. For the most part a minimal, human drama based thriller set within the claustrophobic confines of a bunker post...something possibly awful happening to the earth above our 3 roomies, a lot of this film is the whys and whats, and that's where it really shines. A paranoid psychological horror about three more or less strangers being trapped in a  confined space together under mysterious circumstances, why are they there, who can be trusted...and is there anyone left outside? Did anything really happen? The acting is phenomenal, as is the directing...it's a dark, downbeat film, but god damn is it engrossing. And easily a worthy number 5 spot on my Top Films of 2016.


    LARRY – MR. RIGHT

    I constantly talk about how much I love Max Landis on this show, and for good reason. When he's at the helm of his own ideas, he soars as a creator and storyteller. Sadly, things tend to get muddled when he passes them off to other creators, ranging from pretty good to just plain bad. Thankfully, we've managed to get the best we've seen yet from "Mr. Right," a romantic comedy in an action-thriller's clothing. Normally you wouldn't think to combine these two genres, seeing as it's been attempted to minimal success, but here Landis' writing is so wacky and outlandish that it becomes completely self-aware. It knows how weird it is and has fun embracing it. When you add that to a stellar leading couple in Sam Rockwell and Anna Kendrick, a fun soundtrack, some kickass action, and tons of hilarity, you've got yourself one of the most overlooked gems of 2016.


    STICKMAN: I haven't even heard of Mr. Right, and I haven't seen Jungle Book. SOOO we're off to a good start. I am more likely to see Jungle Book, which is really saying something.


    LARRY: You should see both.


    MADHERO: Oh man, Larry. That choice is so out of nowhere that I hadn't even heard of your movie. I do like 10 Cloverfield Lane a lot though. Not sure how much I dig its ultimate reveal, but its good stuff


    STICKMAN: The reveal is the main issue. And it maybe takes it down a few notches.


    LARRY: I have seen Jungle Book and I do enjoy it. But I've been told to see 10 Cloverfield Lane


    STICKMAN: By me, in fact. This very blog.


    MADHERO: Good for you, Larry. I'm curious what Dan Trachtenberg is doing next. He did that Black Mirror episode, but I think he can go to very high places


    STICKMAN: I'm not watching Mr. Right. More like...Mr. WROOONG. AHaha...I've never heaard of it.


    NUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUMBER FOUR

    MADHERO – CAPTAIN AMERICA: CIVIL WAR

    If the summer of 2016 taught us anything, its that blockbuster filmmaking is hard. Really, really, really hard. It kinda makes you appreciate the consistently high quality of the MCU even more, cause Civil War is blockbuster filmmaking at its finest. From its incredible balancing act of making you care about both these opposing sides, it also brings out the biggest superhero extravaganza that you'll ever too (until maybe Infinity War in 2018, though who knows what that'll bring). Civil War brought genuine stakes and emotions to the forefront, with a surprisingly small 3rd act (well, as small as these things get) and slightly dour, while still being super fun. I can watch that airport fight for hours on end. So yeah, props to Marvel for delivering quality blockbuster entertainment.


    STICKMAN - VICTORIA

    OH SHIT, TIME TO BE A HIPPSPSTTERRRR. Who's ready for English/German international slow burn drama?   I know I aaaaaaam. This film, is a doozy. Something I heard recommended by a TV critic that seemed right up my alley, but...due to the small scale nature of the release, was not shown at my cinema...HMMM, I kept an eye on it though, and took my chance to watch it as soon as it came out digitally to rent. And oh man, did I have an adventure with it. The main gimmick of the film is that it was filmed in one continuous shot. No edits or digital trickery, just 2 and a half hours of non-stop filming in early morning  Berlin, it took them 3 attempts, but it was really worth it, as it gives the film a  unique flow and natural feel unlike anything else I've seen before. It's also a really engrossing and unique film in its own right. Slow and dialogue heavy, it's more about the characters rather than the events that take place, which you really should know as little about as possible, so don't watch the trailer, because it spoils everything. If you're into slower, indie thrillers, I just suggest you find yourself a means of renting/watching this, sit back, and let it absorb you into its twists, turns and thrills.


    LARRY – SWISS ARMY MAN

    Upon a first viewing, Swiss Army Man is sure to turn a few heads. A messed-up sense of humor can easily lead some astray, and this film is filled with awkward moments fueled by weird jokes and toilet humor. BUT, when dissecting this oddity, you'll find a heartwarming story about embracing who you are and not letting societal norms decide how you choose to express yourself. But it's also about friendship, love, and trust, which only work thanks to strong chemistry between stars Paul Dano and Daniel Radcliffe. Upon multiple viewings, you'll actually find a lot of brilliance in plenty of other elements, like the compositional stylings of the soundtrack, and the intent of the cinematography. Don't let its looks deceive you, this is a subversive, fun, yet intelligent film that became an instant cult classic for good reason.


    STICKMAN: Oh boy, Larry here with all the HITS.


    LARRY: Hey. I like GOOD movies. I had a feelin Civil War would make an appearance on this list...


    STICKMAN: Farting Corpse MOOOVIIES and Max Landis films NOBODY HEARD OF. Hey, y'knooow...it's fine. I like not being the hipster one.


    MADHERO: I saw Swiss Army Man. It was an experience for sure. Daniel Radcliffe is excellent


    LARRY: It's so much MORE than a farting corpse movie. Mad can vouch.


    MADHERO: It actually is, yeah. Its a surprisingly smart film that, yes, has a farting corpse in it, as well as do a whole bunch of crazy stuff. Its actually a really solid film. As for Victoria, haven't seen it, but good job of adding to our foreign language counter a bit


    STICKMAN: Is it though. How many times does the corpse fart?


    LARRY: Honestly, not as many as the trailer implies. ANYWAY hey Sticky interesting pick


    STICKMAN: Thanks babe.  As for Civil War. I meaaaaan.


    MADHERO: Its Civil War. Half the planet saw it and (I think), mostly loved it.


    LARRY: I liked Civil War as well. Can't get over my gripes with the third act though.


    MADHERO: We've talked about that in the spoiler special. ANYWAY MOVING ON


    NUMBER THREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

    MADHERO – HELL OR HIGH WATER

    Like many, I did not a hell of a lot about this movie except for people saying how excellent of a thriller it was, and boy they weren't kidding. Its one of the few movies we didn't talk about on Screwvies because it kinda snuck up, and that's a big shame. The story mainly follows Chris Pine and Ben Foster as 2 bank robbing brothers in West Texas as they try and collect enough money to buy their dead mom's house. At the same time, we follow 2 sheriffs, one played by Jeff Bridges, try and find them. Its a story that makes you sympathetic for both sides, and its helped by great acting all around, especially Ben Foster. And it shows that Taylor Sheridan (who wrote this movie and also did Sicario) is the real fucking deal. If this slipped your radar and any of that sounded like it might be to your liking, give it a look. You won't regret it


    STICKMAN – CAPTAIN AMERICA: CIVIL WAR

    I MEAAAAAANN, like Mad said, in a year that so many blockbuster films fell at the first hurdle, were disappointing or just completely sucked...Marvel, despite being 14 films into their canon, and with plenty of reasons to call them out on repetitive themes and shit villains...managed to knock this one out of the park in a way that DC could only dream of, apparently. It's not easy to make an ensemble film, it's not easy to make an ensemble film within the confines of both a semi-sequel to the Avengers and the final part of a trilogy, whilst also setting up two new characters and future films to come. It's not easy, and yet they managed to pull it off without nearly a single major problem. A far cry from the entertaining but messy Age of Ultron, Civil War packed a whole lot more into itself than that film, but did so in a satisfying and fully formed manner which allowed so many fun and likeable characters plenty of time to really shine in a crowd of many. And that airport scene is just...peak comic book cinema...like, it's the best comic book movie fight ever, hands down. It's glorious. But most of the film is, the action scenes, of which differ in tone and genre greatly, are all fun, the villain is actually interesting, and ...yeah. I just really dug it. It's nice to have a blockbuster deliver, and then some.


    LARRY – MIDNIGHT SPECIAL

    Another film nobody saw, though we talked about it a lot on this show. Jeff Nichols ("Mud," "Take Shelter") is an incredibly talented at making bombastic disasters and quiet dramas, and somehow he's managed to find a balance between both in this excellently suspenseful sci-fi family drama. It grabs you by the throat from the very start and adds plenty of twists and turns to push the envelope, culminating in a climax that alludes to much more without it being too big for its britches. Michael Shannon gives a captivating lead performance, with Joel Edgerton and Adam Driver bringin' the goods, and Kirsten Dunst continuing to prove she's got the chops to pull of deep drama. You've also got a surprisingly great child performance here as well. With an ending that qualifies as my favorite of the year, this one stuck with me for a long time.


    LARRY: Ayyyyyy Hell or High Water! I loved that film. That is easily in my Top 10


    STICKMAN: Two films I have yet to see but intend to do so at some point. Hell or High Water is coming out on DVD...like...tomorrow, so.


    MADHERO: Even in my major movie catch up, Midnight Special still managed to slip me by, which is kind of a shame because everything about it pushes my buttons. And go for it, Stickman. Its awards traction is totally justified


    STICKMAN: I had a movie catchup, but it was a hipster one, but I will do, although it's not taking priority when there's two acclaimed horror films I haven't seen. SORRY.


    LARRY: And... yeah Civil War again. All good fun and what not.


    STICKMAN: See it was more than just good fun, it felt significant to me, as a fan. Like it was the payoff to a lot of past Marvel films, and also the start of a bunch of new ones. As a standalone film it probably is lacking rather badly, but with emotional investments in the characters it's just. Special.


    LARRY: I agree, storywise it's practically a miracle. It does a great job of weaving stories and characters.


    STICKMAN: It was exciting to go see, thrilling to watch, and was just...top notch blockbuster cinema. Also there's a bit where Spider-Man and Iron Man like, hang out and junk.


    LARRY: ...you guys should really watch Midnight Special though.


    MADHERO: I wish I could say more about Midnight Special, but I haven't seen it. Glad you really dug it though Larry.


    STICKMAN: I can't say anything about either your films except that at least I've heard of them.


    NUMBER TTTTTTTTTWWWWWWWWOOOOOOOOOO

    MADHERO – THE NICE GUYS

    I've been on the Shane Black dick riding train for some time now, and movies like The Nice Guys are exactly why that's the case. An old school buddy movie with 2 excellent that play super well off each other and make for just an incredibly good time. Russell Crowe is great as the more straight man of the 2, and Ryan Gosling is a goddamn revelation as the neurotic, cowardly,  his life couldn't be more of a mess Holland March. Its annoying how talented he is. Anyway, its also filled with a lot of fun action, some great laughs (this is probably the funniest movie I saw all year) and sadly, very few went out and saw it after we always hear screaming about how audiences demand originality. I hope it becomes a DVD/VOD staple for years to come. Nice guys finish last? Not on my list


    STICKMAN - ARRIVAL

    OoOOoOf, this film is a doozy. We've already talked about the SPOILERS so I'll be spoiler free here, but needless to say always bet on Denis. Sicario was one of my favourite films of 2015, in fact I think it took the #2 spot last time we did this, and now he's taking it again with his vastly different but all the same stunning sci-fi drama. On the surface it seems very similar to things we've seen before, to the point where I had my doubts that it was going to be much good, even after reading the reviews, I was just...sceptical. But then I watched it, I got absorbed in the complex, dark, emotional and most of all timely  drama that plays out against a science fiction background and deals with some mindmelting concepts that I won't spoil here, but at its heart, it's a message about aggression and escalation that we should all take to heart, especially in the current global climate. The acting is superb, it's beautifully filmed...deeply engaging, and the final payoff is a hefty punch to the gut you won't soon forget. It's damn good.

    LARRY – DON’T THINK TWICE

    I love some-crazy-action-suspense-thriller awesomeness every now and again, but sometimes the quietest and simplest films are the most impactful. The unique, self-deprecating, yet insightful voice of comedian and writer Mike Birbiglia is at full force here, weaving a brutally honest tale that you don't see very often anymore. This movie is quite depressing, and isn't afraid to get VERY real, but damn if it doesn't work 100%. The entire ensemble give grounded performances, and the plot moves along at an excellent pace that never feels like it's trying to cram too many events into one film. The interactions are insightful, the comedy is dry yet witty, and the film is very educational for those who plan to move into the world of the arts and the industry. Out of every film I saw this year, this is the one that made me think the most, and there's a lot of value in that.


    LARRY: YAYYYYY NICE GUYS. Big thumbs up for that Mad


    STICKMAN: I mean. I liked that film but I wasn't THAAAAT into it.


    MADHERO: Its a pretty good film, and I hate to sound like a broken record, Larry, but i have not seen your movie.


    LARRY: I will send you all USBs with my movie. And you WILL watch them.


    STICKMAN: Oh damn. I haven't seen Don't Think Twice and never will because I'm NOOOT. But I've seen Nice Guys and it was fun. I'm not as IINNNTO it as you two, but it was fun.


    MADHERO: Keegan Michael-Key was in like a bajillion movies this year, so its nice to see him in a legit great one here. Also, hey Arrival. That's a really good film, I guess.


    STICKMAN: I'm glad you've ARRIVED at that conclusion, Mad. I certainly don't expect to see it again on this list.


    MADHERO: Hmmhmm, no need to worry about that. Nope


    LARRY: Still need to see that


    STICKMAN: DUDE, go watch Arrival. Go watch that and 10 Cloverfield Lane. What are you, BUSY WITH WORK AND STUFF? HAH.


    LARRY: HAH. 4.0 GPAs? LAME. ITS ALL ABOUT THE MOVIES


    STICKMAN:  'Larry Fried needs to watch Arrival already, or I'll never love him" - Max Landis, 2017.


    MADHERO: Alright gang, this is it. The big moment, the final lookback at 2016. Will Larry pick a film that people have seen? Will Stickman's choice be really really obvious, and has mine already been spoiled? Well, you're about to find out, cause its time for....


    NUMBER ONE!

    MADHERO - ARRIVAL

    Ok, fine, you got me, but I had to. After Sicario barely missed my list last year (it was a really good year), I now have to give Denis Villeneuve his due, cause hot damn is Arrival good. At its best, science fiction has the power to explore a part of ourselves and humanity that we aren't able to do in any other genre, and Arrival is exactly that. Its messages about communication and connection are exactly the things we need in what have been extremely divisive times, but it never feels like its hitting you over the head with its messages, and is also a genuinely tense thriller and mystery film as well. I know we already spoiled a major part of it in the Scene of the Year (youve been warned about that), but go in with as little knowledge as possible, and let yourself be swept away by this brilliant film. My nr. 1 film of 2016


    STICKMAN – KUBO AND THE TWO STRINGS

    WHADDYAA MEAAAN it was really obvious? It's only obvious when it hasn't shown up in my Top 5 yet and it clearly was one of the best 5 films of the year, y'knoooow? I love me some animation, especially stop motion, and ignoring my baes at Aardman, LAIKA are the only other studio really doing that medium on a mainstream cinematic level. They've had great films (Paranorman) and iffy films (Boxtrolls) in the past, they've never made a bad one..but Kubo? OOOHHHHH is this a good one. It's visually stunning, the animation is beautiful, the scale of work and craftsmanship that went into the project is staggering...but beyond the physical, it's a genuinely powerful, moving and epic film, and a damn dark one at that, considering its immediate placement as a 'family film' due to its rating and genre. But despite that darkness it still manages to be entertaining and even make you laugh a whole lot thanks to deeply likeable characters, a punchy script and amazingly put together set piece moments, the likes of which you've never seen before in stop motion. It'll get ignored during awards season because DISNEY EXIST, but that shouldn't stop you from seeing this future classic.


    LARRY – THE NICE GUYS

    Hm, obvious? Sure. But completely and utterly well-deserved. Shane Black proves that he knows how to make a damn good movie. It may be not be the most complex, or the most thought-provoking, but it was easily the best moviegoing experience I had all year. Russell Crowe and Ryan Gosling are incredible together, with a camaraderie filled with both impactful slapstick and witty quips. The comedy as a whole is laugh-a-minute, with it being blended into the action seamlessly. Speaking of which, the action is tense but varied. But most importantly, there is a heart to this movie, and it wears it on its sleeve. As you can see, it's an incredible mixture of so many different elements that come together for an absolutely FUN movie, and that's what is most important for me in a year riddled with sadness and tragedy. This movie was a great escape, and I'll love it for that, always.


    STICKMAN: WHAT.


    MADHERO: O damn. I actually thought you were going for Sing Street or something. Good pick


    LARRY: Ayyyyyy I loved Kubo too. That's in my Top 10 as wel


    STICKMAN: YEAH BUT. niceguyysswasn'tthaaatgooood. Nnnnitwasgoodbutnnnnn


    LARRY: itactuallywassoshutup


    STICKMAN: HnNNnnnN Opinnioonnnnsss


    MADHERO: Taste is subjective. ANYWAYS, KUBO! Not surprised its on there, and its a film that's in my Top 10 because wow is it a amazing looking film that's also surprisingly dark. Missed out on my Top 5 cause I didnt feel the humor worked, but otherwise, amazing film


    LARRY: Kubo is an incredible film. Artistry at its finest


    STICKMAN: NICE GUYS WAS JUST A STUPID BUDDY COMEDY AND I'VE SEEN THOOOSE. AND THE ENDING PAYOFFFF WAS MEDIOCRE. I HAD A GOOD TIME BUT IT WAS LIKE, WHATEVER. Mad, Arrival. Good choice, buddy. You're my favourite one, you see.


    MADHERO: Guys, let’s all enjoy our nr. 1 movies of 2016. We all like these movies. Some we like more, some less, but it’s all good


    LARRY: ...fak u


    MADHERO: Arrival is a amazing fucking movie that more people need to see and Denis Villeneuve is now one of the best directors working in Hollywood. So yeah, BLADE RUNNER 2049 HYPE

    -----------------------

    MADHERO: Alright, that's enough of all this discourse, and lets end it right here. 2016 wasn't always the best in terms of movies, but its been a fun enough ride, and we look forward to see what 2017 has to bring. Be it Blade Runner, the new Star Wars, or maybe finally getting a good Spider-man movie again. Who knows?


    LARRY: Yeah. 2017 has a lot to look forward to.


    STICKMAN: It's totally gonna be Resident Evil : The Final Chapter. The best film. It'll BLOW YOUR MINDS.


    MADHERO: Somehow I doubt it, BUT HEY WE COULD BE WRONG. Hope you guys are looking forward to 2017 films as well, and we'll be back.....next week actually. Still have a actual show to run. Alright, bye everyone. See y'all next week, or in 2018 if you only read these awards


    LARRY: See you next week everyone!

  • At the Screwvies: Episode 72

    5 months ago

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    MADHERO: Hohoho, Merry Last Screwvies of 2016 everyone. Yes people, we've done it. Soon the Evil Year will be defeated and we can all do a reboot. That or live with the consequences that said Evil Year has brought and go "well shit, what now", BUT LETS TRY AND BE POSITIVE! TIS THE SEASON!


    LARRY: FA LA LA LA LA LA LA LA LAAAAAAAA. Merry Christmas to all


    STICKMAN: OH GOD THE CHRISTMAS TREE IS EATING THE CHILDREN! ALL THE MINCE PIES ARE BURNT, AND THE PRESENTS HAVE BEEN STOLEN


    MADHERO: 2016 in a nutshell, but hey, Christmas, so that at least makes it somewhat better.


    STICKMAN: SANTA JUST SPAT IN MY FACE


    MADHERO: Uhm uhhhhhhhhhh, how about we talk some movie news and just ignore all those shenanigans


    NEWS

    WARNER BROS OFFICIALLY WORKING ON SUICIDE SQUAD SPIN-OFF “GOTHAM CITY SIRENS” WITH MARGOT ROBBIE. DAVID AYER RETURNS TO DIRECT

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    So I'm one of the few nerds out there who still hasn't seen Suicide Squad, but from the sounds of the overall reception (including those of my 2 colleagues here), that might've been for the best. Now obviously that's all subjective (and it making 750 million worldwide suggests it does have its fans), the general consensus once the hype/denial went away is that it wasn't great. Still, it made money, and one of the few well received elements of it was Margot Robbie's Harley Quinn. Now we've previously that Robbie liked the character so much that she was pushing for a spin-off that would include more female characters of the DC universe. That is now confirmed to be happening, in the form of Gotham City Sirens, and will follow the exploits of Harley Quinn, Poison Ivy and Catwoman, who've yet to be cast.


    What's interesting about this, is the return of Suicide Squad director David Ayer, who's confirmed his involvement with a tweet simply written #Sirens and a pic of the 3 anti-heroines. It’s no secret that Suicide Squad's production was kind of a mess, with a script written in 6 weeks and a cut made by the trailer company which made the film a mess. What urged him to come back? Who knows? Maybe he really liked working on SS despite all the behind the scenes drama. With all this in mind, I've got mixed feelings on the project, but more female led superhero films is a good thing in my book, and the series (written by Batman the Animated Series writer Paul Dini) is supposedly pretty good, so I guess we can only hope for the best.


    LARRY: I am... almost appalled to see Ayer back at the helm. It shocks me. After becoming the laughing stock of the summer, DC is ready to basically repeat what fucked them over.


    STICKMAN: David "Fuck Marvel" Ayer.


    MADHERO: Well, so much for hope then. Honestly, and I haven't seen the movie, but from what I'm hearing, what we got wasn't totally Ayer's fault. Obviously part of it was, but he's hardly the only one to blame for Suicide Squad's schizophrenia


    STICKMAN: Thing is right, I'm at a stage in my relationship with DC movies where I'm not even excited for a fucking Justice League movie any more, Man of Steel was bad, Batman v Superman was worse, and Suicide Squad was a war crime, so why the fuck exactly would I have any interest in a sequel to Suicide Squad from the same idiot who made the first one.


    LARRY: Not even Margot Robbie helped the film. Her performance was... mediocre at best. And she's back to reprise the character in which she sucked at playing. Mhmmm.


    MADHERO: He's shown himself to be a good director with stuff like Fury and End of Watch, but I agree its weird for him to return. Maybe his Netflix movie Bright will be a step in the right direction


    STICKMAN: It doesn't matter how good he is at other movies. He's bad at making DC films and so are DC themselves, apparently. Is the idea a cool idea? Yes. Has it been done well in the source material? Yes. Does that give me any hope for this movie to be anything more than garbage? Nope.


    LARRY: It's a great idea. It's a BRILLIANT idea. But I’m just not excited for it with DC’s track-record.


    MADHERO: That's where I'm standing on it as well. The DCEU has done little to give me hope for other projects with the 2 films I've seen, and the fact I'm not excited for Justice League because of it is kinda mindblowing


    STICKMAN: DC and Warner Bros have managed to make the Justice League not exciting, and if that doesn't make them a group of complete and total hackjobs, I don't know what else will.


    MADHERO: Just like 2016, Warner Bros and DC has sucked out all hope. Merry Christmas everyone


    LARRY: Merry Christmas DC fans! Here's David Ayer fucking up your hopes and dreams!


    MADHERO: MOVING ON TO SOMETHING MORE LIGHT, LIKE, I DUNNO, WW2


    WARNER BROS REVEALS 5-MINUTE IMAX FOOTAGE AND TRAILER FOR CHRISTOPHER NOLAN MOVIE “DUNKIRK”

    Alright, so, we've known for a good while now that every IMDB User's favorite director, Christopher Nolan's next movie was going to be Dunkirk, a action thriller based on the real life, game changing events that took place during WW2, we've even had a brief teaser for it with a unfortunately hilarious extra stealing the show in what was otherwise a fantastic shot/sequence, but now, with 2017 upon us, and its July release a lot closer than any of us here in December want to admit as we slowly wither and die at a seemingly increasing frame of time as we age, from the fault of our own biological systems...with all that in mind, here's the first trailer for it, and it looks...pretty good, honestly.


    It's a nice change of pace for Nolan to get his feet firmly back on the ground after a host of large scale, mind-bending thrillers of varying success rates, but Dunkirk still seems to have his signature visual mastery and bombastic set pieces, albeit now based very much in reality. We get to see a lot of grim imagery, featuring abandoned towns, lines of bodies, exploding ships, soldiers hiding and fighting for their lives, and...to provide some good feelings, a sequence of Harry Styles seemingly drowning, so it's good to have a balance of tones present in a film, I feel. Whilst it's great to see Nolan tackle a different kind of film after going epic, with  a lot of narrative flaws in the process in his previous two films (Which in my opinion were both very good despite plenty of issues), but it's also hard to get hyped for a...WW2 drama, I guess? I'll definitely be seeing it, but it's hard to be STOKED about it like say, a Spider-Man movie. Looks very good though, hopefully it'll be a return to more consistent form for him.


    MADHERO: I'm looking forward to the unholy unity of the Christopher Nolanites on IMDB and the One Directioners


    STICKMAN: ...on second thoughts...might give this one a miss, chaps. That...sounds awful. #BoycottDunkirk


    LARRY: I liked this trailer. Looks to have some solid performances. Styles aside of course.


    STICKMAN: I mean, Styles doesn't do anything wrong in the trailer, I just don't get why he's there, and it's made the film into a bit of a 12 year old girls squeeing fest. And it's like....a WW2 drama so less of that, please.


    LARRY: I'm just assuming. He could be great.


    STICKMAN: Hopefully he'll just drown and things will move on.


    MADHERO: He's just there. Heck I didn't even recognize him so I don't care. That said, might wait a week or so before seeing it. I've seen Directioners in real life, and they're terrifying


    LARRY: Nah, I'm probably gonna be there Day 1. Not sure if Styles is enough to convince 15 year old girls to sit through a war thriller.


    STICKMAN: You'd be surprised.


    MADHERO: Like you said, it’s hard to be excited for a WW2 film, but Nolan is one of our best working filmmakers right now, so I'm ready to see what he has in store for his most grounded story in, well, ever really


    STICKMAN: Even his iffy films are an amazing experience. Interstellar got problems for days but when I saw it at the cinema I was like WOoooooOOOOooOOAAHH


    MADHERO: Can Dunkirk become one of our new favorite Nolan films? We'll find out next summer


    UNIVERSAL SHOWS OFF FIRST “FATE OF THE FURIOUS” TRAILER

    So, somehow, the Fast and the Furious series has become somewhat of a phenomenon amongst mainstream moviegoers, as each one gets bigger and bigger, they keep making tons of money, and they always have the resources to make another one. And, also somehow, thy actually manage to NOT be the worst franchise fatigued films on the planet. Who would've known a series based on a vapid racing game series would flourish into a high-octane, action-packed blockbuster hit series. TAKE THAT NEED FOR SPEED.


    Well, if Furious 7 floated your boat (or... car...), then you're in luck! F8 of the Furious (yes that's the title) puts a new twist on the story, with the beloved leader Dom now turning evil alongside a new cyberterrorist character played by Charlize Theron. The entire family must team up to stop Dom from this plan he's hatching, and to do so, they are forced to team up with Statham's villainous character from the last installment. Will our family be reunited for the forces of good? Of course they will, but let them have their fun.


    STICKMAN: I haven't seen the previous one yet so LALALALALA. I'm gone. The words everyone has been wanting to hear for 3 years.


    MADHERO: FAMILY NO MORE!


    LARRY: Yeah, honestly this is a great idea to continue the series. And I'm not gonna lie, I enjoyed Furious 7, flaws be damned. I'm down for another ride.


    MADHERO: I kinda love how fucking nuts this trailer is but at the same time I'm conflicted. Furious 7 tied everything together in a neat bow and ended everything in a surprisingly powerful way. But of course, it made a insane amount of money, so I can't blame them for continuing


    LARRY: The FUCKING SUBMARINE DUDE. HOLY SHIT This series is getting HARDCORE. You thought a car jumping two buildings was nuts? SUBMARINES. BAM.


    MADHERO: The constant joke is when they're going to space, but I guess now we've covered underwater. It’s all so cartoonish and I love it. And of course, you wanna know what the deal is with Dom and why he's betrayed his FAMILY! The answer is probably something cliché and disappointing unless they go full sci fi and reveal it to be mind control.


    LARRY: Ha, I hope not. This series is way too into cheese and sap to do that


    MADHERO: Definitely. I don't think this movie is on my Most Anticipated films of 2017, because damn there's a lot of good stuff coming out, but F&F always delivers on spectacle and is a ton of fun. Its what Transformers should be.


    LARRY: ...you know what, yeah. I can get behind that statement. It's minus the robots, plus the quality characters.


    MADHERO: Plus they aren't 3+ hours, so that helps. Also both movies have the exact same hook (main good guy gone bad). Coincidence? Or teasing us a CROSSOVER?! MAKE IT HAPPEN UNIVERSAL/PARAMOUNT


    LARRY: FASTFORMERS


    WARNER BROS REVEALS FIRST TEASER TRAILER FOR DENIS VILLENEUVE (ARRIVAL)’S BLADE RUNNER 2049

    So, I think its safe to say that Blade Runner 2049 is one of Film Twitter's most anticipated films of next year. The original Blade Runner wasn't a big hit back in the day, but has only grown in stature and has become one of the most influential science fiction films ever made. I'll admit myself that I wasn't too excited for it initially, especially since Ridley Scott was in a slump at the time. But then they got Denis Villeneuve to direct, who's so far really delivered the goods with Prisoners, Sicario, and his latest film, Arrival. With an October release date, there weren't a lot of expectations for a teaser until maybe later this year, but here we are, and its looking very orange.


    So, so much orange. The trailer doesn't show us much, just Ryan Gosling walking through said orange landscape searching and eventually finding Rick Deckard, the protagonist of the first movie, who doesn't seem all that pleased he's there. That doesn't tell us much, but luckily Warner Bros provided a plot synopsis, which involves Ryan Gosling's blade runner K (just K) unearthing a secret that could crumble society (or what's left of it) as we know it, and leads him to find Deckard. What is the mystery? We'll find out in early October, when the movie is out, and I can't wait.

    STICKMAN: Ryan Gosling can pound my asshole.


    MADHERO: Huh, usually you're more subtle about this, like "he can run my blade or something", but whatevs


    STICKMAN: I don't want to be subtle. I need him to GET THE MESSAGE. Also this looks AWESOME. But Harrison Ford thought it was Casual Friday apparently.


    LARRY: Nah man Deckard let himself go. Gosling is ready to friggin BECOME Ford. He's got the presence and ability now. This is a GREAT role for him to chew on.


    MADHERO: I love that even in the publicity shoot Ford really looks like he didn't want to remove his grey shirt.


    STICKMAN: Also, Denis Will.i.am. He's a good filmy person. Look at that trailer. It's a pretty.


    LARRY: So much orange


    MADHERO: He's on such a hot streak right now, and hey, if this works, apparently his next project is going to be a Dune reboot, which would be pretty badass. And having Roger Deakins as DP certainly helps make the orange extra beautiful


    STICKMAN: Freakin Deakin


    MADHERO: So yeah, think its safe to say we're all pretty stoked for this. Only problem? WE GOTTA WAIT 10 MONTHS! LIKE, GEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEZ. THAT'S TOO LONG


    LARRY: Yea seriously


    STICKMAN: I guess we all need to watch Only God Forgives to get us through that long time.


    MADHERO: I'll refuse that like Gosling refuses cereal. Moving on

    FOX RELEASES ALIEN COVENANT TRAILER AFTER WEEK OF TEASING ON CHRISTMAS DAY

    As I'm writing this, it happens to be CHRISTMAS DAY, the turkey's in the oven, presents are unwrapped, the trees looking a bit bare at the bottom, and...there's a new red band horror movie trailer to discuss. NICE. So, it's been a long time coming, it feels...a good deal of the year (Alien Day, Comic Con and beyond) has been spent wondering if and when our first look at the confusingly titled sequel to Prometheus...Alien Covenant will be coming, that anticipation only increased more when the trailer, and 10 minutes of footage were shown at a press event two weeks passed...the past week has been spent teasing us with images and mysterious codes, but now...FINALLY...on the 25th of December, FOX gave us our present, and it was...pretty damn awesome.


    The connections to both Alien and Prometheus become abundantly clear in the footage, you've got the grimy, ragtag space cowboy styled team, in addition to the dark, violent and somewhat b-movie'ish stylings of the original film, along with the iconic egg/facehugger attack from the original. And then you have some of the more glossy, landscape porny, Michael Fassbendery aspects of Prometheus on display. And then, we get a look at stuff that's entirely new, such as the alien environments, Weyland military groups, a potential first glimpse at the supposed 'Neomorph' (A gooey version of the classic Xenomorph), along with some creepy black...ear invading...spores? Ew. And then there's that whole, spine exploding...situation. All set to a moody score, and just....yes. Please. This is what I want. I liked Prometheus, but I love Alien...so...a continuation of the story being told in Prometheus. I'm ready, Merry Christmas, y'all. My kinda present.


    LARRY: UGH THIS TRAILER


    STICKMAN: You no like?


    LARRY: It rocked. My socks. Off.


    STICKMAN: Oh. Good. The UGH threw me off.


    MADHERO: That spine-splitting though. Guess ol' Xeno is up for some experimenting


    STICKMAN: Xeno's are pretty sex positive folks.


    MADHERO: Its a cool trailer. Anything with Danny McBride as a literal space cowboy is ok in my book


    STICKMAN: I mean. Danny McBride's inclusion is the least exciting aspect. Except maybe James Franco's inclusion.


    LARRY: I'm more excited for Fassbender's return. He was the only solid part of Prometheus for me.


    STICKMAN: I'm more excited for a GOD DAMN ALIEN MOVIE. WITH ALIENS AND FACEHUGGERS AND VIOLENCE AND OH MY.


    MADHERO: I’m excited for Seth Rogen to pop up and its actually being Pineapple Express 2


    STICKMAN: MAD, NO. It looks to me like a combination of Prometheus and Alien, with some Aliens peppered in. Which sounds awesome, honestly.


    LARRY: The shower scene though. Looks. Incredible.


    MADHERO: It looks cool. I'm not on the Prometheus hate-camp. Just had a lot of smart people be really really dumb


    STICKMAN: Prometheus wasn't perfect, but it also wasn't the hate crime some people think it is.


    LARRY: I was just bored a lot honestly. Except Fassbender.


    MADHERO: Here we get double Fassbender, so that's nice


    STICKMAN: I feel like there was a TON of hype behind Prometheus and people expected more than they got, in some cases justifiably so, in others not so much.


    LARRY: But I'm excited to go more towards the originals. They're back folks. Alive and kicking. #TeamXenos2017


    MADHERO: I'm curious. Fox seems confident since they moved it to Memorial Day, so yeah, color me excited


    STICKMAN: Anyway, this one looks promising, I'm still tepid to be honest, I can't help but get excited because Alien nerd, but...yeah. Hopes reserved, hype is high though. Aliens, bro. THEY'RE BACK.


    SONY RELEASES FIRST TEASER TRAILER FOR “THE EMOJI MOVIE”. GETS PULLED AND RE-UPLOADED BECAUSE NO ONE LIKES IT

    &t=2s

    So. The Emoji Movie. Is a thing. That's happening. In 2017. Somehow.

    Despite Sony already digging themselves a huge hole with the strange character designs, stupid plot synopsis, and... well just the fact that they invested over a million dollars in this, a teaser for the Emoji Movie was just recently released, and believe it or not, it's actually... I dunno, pretty friggin bad. It makes basically two jokes. No inkling of story. No inkling of hope. Just a "meh" Emoji explaining his... cough "excitement," (this feels rather appropriate considering everyone’s response to this movie being a thing) and another joke about the the poo Emoji. If I ever live in a reality where I see this film, I'll be sure to have a counter for those. Either way, 2017 HYPE TRAIN HERE WEEEEEE COOOOOOMMMMMEEEEEEE CHOOOOOOOO CHOOOOOOOO


    LARRY: So apparently they dropped the "Express Yourself" thing. Chalk one point up for Sony.


    STICKMAN: You say that but, it's the song in the trailer. Also...Sony? Oh Sony. You are. Hacks.


    MADHERO: You forgot to mention that they dropped downright terrifying posters for some characters as well. Like, geeeeeeeeeeeeez


    LARRY: OH THOSE! KILL ME


    STICKMAN: This is a sign that 2017 will not be the improvement on 2016 that we are hoping for.


    LARRY: It never was gonna be. The downhill slope WILL continue


    STICKMAN: Oh damn, getting real. Real about these Emojis.


    MADHERO: Also, the fact they uploaded a initial trailer and then got so many dislikes they removed it and made a slightly different version, that STILL is getting nothing but dislikes


    STICKMAN: But that Poop Emoji joke. Oh man. My sides were broken open. My guts fell out, I was gagging and choking on my own blood.


    LARRY: Also, THE ICE CREAM ISNT NEXT TO THE POOP EMOJI. GOD GET YOUR FACTS STRAIGHT AT LEAST


    MADHERO: Who is voicing the poop emoji? I feel like I know the voice but I can't put my finger on it


    STICKMAN: I am. Officially announced on At the Screwvies. I am Poop Emoji.


    MADHERO: What can you say about your character, Poop Daddy, Stickman


    STICKMAN: He loves to participate in outdoor sexual exploits. And is secretly a serial killer who murders the Emojis Apple remove.


    LARRY: I wonder what his kink is


    MADHERO: Bukkake obviously


    STICKMAN: It's not going to be a G rated movie, I'll be honest. But we really want to make something special, y'know?


    LARRY: In short: passity pass pass on this one.


    STICKMAN: Oh. Well I get paid either way, so.


    -------------------

    MADHERO: Annnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnyway, its time for the final batch of movies to talk about that are coming out in 2016, and surprise, they're almost all awards hopefuls and contenders. Well, not allllllllllllll of them, but most of them are


    STICKMAN: Is Batman here.


    MADHERO: Kiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiinda. I mean, the current Batman actor is anyway.


    STICKMAN: OH SHIT, WILL ARNETTTTT


    MADHERO: No, the other one. The live action one. Anyway, might as well get to it.


    MOVIES

    LIVE BY NIGHT

    DIRECTOR: Ben Affleck (The Town, Argo)

    STARRING: Ben Affleck, Elle Fanning, Brendan Gleeson, Sienna Miller, Zoe Saldana, Chris Cooper, Scott Eastwood

    SYNOPSIS: Joe Coughlin (Affleck), prodigal son of a Boston police captain, becomes a bootlegger and later a notorious gangster after moving to Ybor City, Tampa, Florida.

    MADHERO: The Town: 30's Edition


    STICKMAN: The sequel to Die Another Day


    LARRY: I'm honestly just thinking about The Accountant...


    MADHERO: This feels like a movie I should be excited for. Affleck's a great director, Dennis Lehane (Gone Baby Gone) came up with the story, and its got a great cast, but yeah, apparently its also not very good, which is kind of a bummer.


    LARRY: Ouch... Hopefully it gets sorta swept under the rug. Don't need another stain on Affleck's career right now.


    STICKMAN: Affleck is a great director, yeah. Argo is real good.


    MADHERO: He's not have a great critical year what with this, Accountant, and his DCEU appearances. Affleck was involved with everything on this one, so maybe his resources were all a little too spread out. Its unfortunate, because it looks gorgeous from the trailers, but I think if you want to see a better version of this, you can always watch The Town.


    STICKMAN: The Town is a bit overrated honestly. If you want a better crime drama you should just watch Heat.


    MADHERO: Maybe our next film will have a better shot at Oscar gold. Let me get the list


    WHY HIM?

    DIRECTOR: John Hamburg (Along Came Polly, I Love You, Man)

    STARRING: Bryan Cranston, James Franco, Zoey Deutch, Megan Mullally

    SYNOPSIS: A dad (Cranston) forms a bitter rivalry with his daughter (Deutch)'s young rich boyfriend (Franco).

    MADHERO: Never mind


    STICKMAN: OOHNOOO. BRYAN WHHHYY. HOW'D YOU END UP HERE!?


    MADHERO: Well he got his big break with Malcolm in the Middle. Maybe he just wanted to do some comedic stuff? Though he could've probably chosen better


    LARRY: That's true. He hasn't done solid comedy in a while.


    STICKMAN: There's comedic. And then there's James Franco.


    MADHERO: I think James Franco can be a pretty funny guy, but its kinda all he does now, and I feel he's too old to be playing this type of character? I dunno, him ending up with a 22 year old is starting to be creepy.


    STICKMAN: James Franco, more like James Franc-NO


    LARRY: Oh that's absolutely a yes on my end. It's weird.


    STICKMAN: The movie's title speaks my opinion on the matter pretty well honestly.


    MADHERO: I thought you'd be more of a fan what with 127 Hours


    STICKMAN: Everyone has a great film.


    MADHERO: Even Rob Schneider?


    STICKMAN: No. Not Rob Schneider. You've ruined it. You've ruined Christmas.


    SILENCE

    DIRECTOR: Martin Scorsese (Hugo, Wolf of Wall Street)

    STARRING: Andrew Garfield, Adam Driver, Liam Neeson, Tadanobu Asano

    SYNOPSIS: In the seventeenth century, two Jesuit priests (Garfield, Driver) face violence and persecution when they travel to Japan to locate their mentor (Neeson) and propagate Christianity.

    STICKMAN: No, YOU shut up. So rude.


    MADHERO: Ok, now we're getting to the good stuff.


    LARRY: I had no idea this movie was coming out so soon. The trailer came out like two weeks ago.


    STICKMAN: It sneaks up on you. Because it was so silent.


    MADHERO: Like a ninja, because Japan


    STICKMAN: ANYHOW. This sure is AN MOVIE.


    MADHERO: Not just any movie. This is a Martin Scorsese passion project that looks really good even if it'll probably be nearly 3 hours of misery or something. A Scorsese film is always a treat, so I'm curious what he has in store for us here


    STICKMAN: Doesn't look all that interesting to me.


    LARRY: I'm in Mad's boat on this one. I love Garfield taking on a role like this. I'm really excited. It looks like nothing he's ever done before.


    STICKMAN: WELLLLL, I got my own nice boat. Got loads of leg room. Spider-Man and Kylo Ren meet up with Bryan Mills.


    LARRY: I'd pay to see that...


    STICKMAN: And so you shall, probably.


    MADHERO: Garfield's had a good year with this and Hacksaw Ridge, and also nice to see Adam Driver stretch his acting muscles. So yeah, I'm done, though this is probably not the Christmas movie to take your family to


    STICKMAN: This and Rogue One make up the big Christmas releases that couldn't be less Christmassy.


    LARRY: I love the trailer too. The shot selection, the music. It all really works, so I'm hoping the film lives up.


    STICKMAN: EH. You guys enjoy though. I'll be...watching...Assassin's Creed? RIP.


    FENCES

    DIRECTOR: Denzel Washington (Antwone Fisher, The Great Debaters)

    STARRING: Denzel Washington, Viola Davis, Stephen Henderson, Jovan Adepo

    SYNOPSIS: An African-American father (Washington) struggles with race relations in the United States while trying to raise his family (Davis, Henderson) in the 1950s and coming to terms with the events of his life.

    MADHERO: Denzel Washington being mad at life: The Movie


    STICKMAN: Man on Fire...with RAGE?!


    LARRY: I've heard this is excellent.


    MADHERO: Its based on an 80s stage play by August Wilson, which Washington and Viola Davis have already acted in and won Tony's for, so I guess they know this story inside and out.


    STICKMAN: Guess now he wants an Oscar for the same role. Lazy git.


    LARRY: Hey, with a guy like Denzel, there's no harm in playing it safe. Especially if it's GOOD.


    MADHERO: Well he also directed, so he put in some extra effort. Heard pretty much nothing but good things about this movie, especially with the performances, though again, this might not be the movie to lift your Christmas spirits


    STICKMAN: I meaaaaan Where's all the jolly movies. Moana I guess? But...tropical adventure.


    LARRY: Psh. The world craves DRAMA.


    MADHERO: What do you think Why Him is for?


    STICKMAN: Never mind. Let's all be miserable. We're going to be miserable either way, might as well watch a good film in the process.


    LARRY: Exactly. BEST PICTURE HYPE


    PATRIOTS DAY

    DIRECTOR: Peter Berg (Lone Survivor, Deepwater Horizon)

    STARRING: Mark Wahlberg, John Goodman, JK Simmons, Vincent Curatola, Michelle Monaghan, Kevin Bacon, Alex Wolff, Melissa Benoist

    SYNOPSIS: An account of Boston Police Commissioner Ed Davis's (Wahlberg) actions in the events leading up to the 2013 Boston Marathon bombing and the aftermath, which includes the city-wide manhunt to find the terrorists behind it.

    STICKMAN: Marky Mark returns in 2016 Oscar Bait #2. But where's the FUNKY BUNCH?!


    MADHERO: Hmmmmmmmm.... I dunno about this one. Apparently its pretty good and well-made and respectful and all that, but doesn't it all feel a little... too soon?


    STICKMAN: Yes. But then you have to remember that they made like five 9/11 films within the 5 years since it happened.


    LARRY: I feel like this is a solid movie to have. Definitely the most relevant Mark-Wahlberg-Does-Dark-Drama installment he's doing.


    MADHERO: Don't get me wrong, if its good, its good, and should be commeneded for that, but the Boston bombing was only 3 years ago, so I guess that's why it feels a little icky to me.


    STICKMAN: I feel there's never really a good time to make a movie based on a tragedy, it's just how you handle it and how good it is.


    LARRY: Have you noticed that Wahlberg basically ONLY does these dark, oddly out-of-place, gritty dark dramas? And also Transformers.


    STICKMAN: Pretty big exception, BUB.


    MADHERO: Well Deepwater Horizon came out a few months back so those types of movies are on your mind. Like, there was Daddy's Home inbetween


    LARRY: It's becoming a genre and it's weird.


    STICKMAN: And next year he's fighting nazis with Optimus Prime or some shit. Good to have variety in life.


    LARRY: I just think it's odd that we're seeing more and more of these Wahlberg-led dramas. Like you never really got those on a consistent basis until now.


    STICKMAN: The Happening 2. Will be next, please?


    MADHERO: What? Nooooooooooo


    HIDDEN FIGURES

    DIRECTOR: Ted Melfi (St. Vincent)

    STARRING: Taraji P. Henson, Octavia Spencer, Janelle Monae, Kevin Costner, Jim Parsons, Mahershala Ali

    SYNOPSIS: A team of African-American women (Henson, Spencer, Monae) provide NASA with important mathematical data needed to launch the program's first successful space missions.

    STICKMAN: Oh boy more Biopics.


    LARRY: Hey I love me a good biopic.


    MADHERO: This one wasn't really on my radar but after seeing the trailers for it, I'm kinda interested, especially since I really didn't know about this part of the moon landing


    LARRY: Yeah, this seems an important movie to a lot of people.


    STICKMAN: Stanley Kubrick faked the moon landing, Mad. Duh.


    MADHERO: Well yeah, but obviously they needed it to be believable, hence why they got those mathmetecians, and hey, they happened to be black women in a time where that made people think that's weird, and hell it still kinda is 50 years later.


    STICKMAN: Kinda sounds like you'd be better off reading about the real events for yourself, rather than watching the film, which seems to succeed only based on the interesting nature of the story itself.


    LARRY: Like it's being seen as a black empowerment movie. While simultaneously also being a feminist film.


    STICKMAN: Those darn SJWs at it again. Telling...HISTORY. UUGGHH.


    MADHERO: Exactly, Larry. Do think that's really important in this day and age, and the movie is getting really good reviews as well. That could be part of the SJW PROPAGANDA, but I guess I'll drink the cool-aid to learn some interesting history


    STICKMAN: I'll just read up on the real events myself, the movie doesn't look very HIGH QUALITY TO ME. Important story, great people no doubt, the movie? Ehhhh.


    ---------------------

    MADHERO: We'll see indeed. Anyway, that about does it for covering movies this year. Woot, its over, but don't go just yet, cause now its time for MOVIE OF THE WEEK!!!!


    STICKMAN: Didn't we all just see Star Wars and be like "yeah that's okay". That's boring. Let's do something ELSE.


    LARRY: ...sure.


    MADHERO: Now, because its the season, we decided to do something a little more interesting. Everyone likes Die Hard, right? I think that's an ok thing to say, and its wormed its way as one of the most beloved Christmas movies of all time, even if its connection to Christmas is rather skin-deep. Turns out, there's actually a lot of movies like that, so instead of just fellating Die Hard, we'll give another movie their time in the sun, or snow in this case


    LARRY: So... basically... a Christmas movie that isn't actually a Christmas movie?


    MADHERO: Pretty much, but we're going to make it a Christmas movie, whether they want to or not.


    STICKMAN: NICE. NICENICENICE


    LARRY: Aight. I'm down.


    MADHERO: O you down? Well then, Larry? What is your Christmas movie for the holidays?


    STICKMAN: What do you watch at Christmas when you're HOME ALONE


    LARRY: ...stop. Please.


    STICKMAN: NEVER


    MOVIE OF THE WEEK

    LARRY: Anyway, my movie is a wonderful John Landis comedy called TRADING PLACES!


    Dan Aykroyd plays Winthorpe, a spoiled, rich stockbroker. Eddie Murphy plays Billy, a struggling homeless man. One day, the heads of Winthorpe's firm make a bet that, by manipulating their environment, they can have them switch places successfully. Clearly, antics ensue, and both Winthorpe and Billy decide to get revenge when they learn that they've been played. It's a hilarious film, with both Aykroyd and Murphy killing it with their comedic timing and chemistry. Plus you got a young, budding Jamie Lee Curtis in a role that won her a British Academy Film Award. Despite its success, it's a rather lesser known comedy from Landis, and that's unfortunate because I consider it one his best. It takes place around Christmas/New Year's time too, so you still get all those holiday feels.


    MADHERO: Oh hey, I never saw this one


    STICKMAN: Never seen it. I had tickets for a talk from John Landis once and he cancelled on the day of the event, so clearly I have to hate him and everything he does now.


    LARRY: ...oh.


    STICKMAN: Them's the rules.


    MADHERO: Well that's a bummer. I do like John Landis films a lot, even if I get him and Joe Dante too often mixed up in my mind


    LARRY: ...really?


    MADHERO: I keep thinking Gremlins is Landis instead of Dante. I don't know why.


    LARRY: ...that's a weird comparison.


    MADHERO: Anyone who made Blues Brothers is alright in my book, so I'll check this out should I ever need a Christmas comedy.


    LARRY: Yeah. It's great, really. Hugely underrated performance from Aykroyd back in his heyday. And of course, a classic Murphy.


    MADHERO: Moving on. Stickman, I'm sure you've got a great festive movie to lighten the mood with


    STICKMAN: Oh you betcha. So, for my FESTIVE FAMILY FUN FLICK...PICK...I present to you, the heartwaming romp that is Children of Men. Set in a dystopian near-future England in a world where for, some unknown reason, all women have become infertile, and no more children are being born, and as a result, the world is slowly crumbling into decay as there is no future left in a world where no more children can be born to continue it on. So, y'know, everything you want from your Christmas movie.


    Whilst the film isn't exclusively set on Christmas (It takes place across a few weeks in the last months of the near future year in question), the premise is just about as CHRISTMAS as you can get. The main plot is about taking a young woman, who claims to be a virgin, who has somehow become pregnant in a world where pregnancy is impossible. Her, and a group of travellers make their way across the land to take her, and the baby to a safe place to birth and raise her miracle child, and...well...there's a whole shit ton of religious imagery to be had. And maybe some Christmas I dunno, it's got...Michael Caine, and he was in The Italian Job, a real Boxing Day regular on the old telly box. Also, this film is fucking amazing, so....yeah. It never feels like Christmas until I've seen my first depressing dystopian sci-fi movie about childbirth. Right, guys?


    MADHERO: Oh.... well that's not very cheery at all


    STICKMAN: What are you talking about. Michael Caine has a beard and smokes weed in this film.


    LARRY: You're over here complaining about Fences...And like how downer-y it is. And then you come up and say HEY GUYS CHILDREN OF MEN! WHAT A CHRISTMAS MOVIE


    STICKMAN: MIRACLE BABIES. RELIGIOUS IMAGERY. TRAVELLING FAR AND WIDE ON A FESTIVE ADVENTURE. Sure...there's some...war...misery...death....But I mean. JUST ANOTHER CHRISTMAS WITH THE RELATIVES AMIRITE!?


    MADHERO: I guess if you want something a little more religious in your Christmas festivities, but you're probably going to be really bummed afterwards


    LARRY: I mean I love Children of Men.


    STICKMAN: What's in your stocking this Christmas, young Jimmy son? OH. CHILDREN OF MEN? THE HIT CHRISTMAS MOVIE? It came out on Christmas Day. That's about as Christmas as you can get.


    MADHERO: Dont get me wrong, its an amazing movie, one of the best in its decade, but yeah, its going to kill the mood, Stickman.


    STICKMAN: Jeez, are you guys saying you don't want to come around and watch festive films with me?


    STICKMAN: Jerks, what are YOU watching this Christmas, Mad?


    MADHERO: Welllllllllllllll, since you asked.....So hey, do you wanna watch a Christmas movie that can make you laugh? Do you like Belgium? Irish hitmen? Racist dwarves? Well do I have the movie for you. In Bruges is one of those movies you see Film Twitter constantly raving about, and for good reason.

    Its just a really fun dark comedy with everyone bringing their A-game, with Colin Farrell and Brendan Gleeson forced to go into hiding in the city of Bruges after a mission goes completely wrong, and getting into some wacky antics along the way. This is probably one of my favorite Colin Farrell performances, and Ralph Fiennes is having a ton of fun in a way we at that point hadn't really seen before, being both kinda silly and utterly terrifying as their boss. Well that doesn't sound all that Christmassy? WELL IT ALL TAKES PLACE DURING CHRISTMAS, AND THERE'S LIGHTS AND TREES AND EVERYTHING! SO THERE!


    STICKMAN: I HAVEN'T SEEN THIS ONE EEEEITHER. WOOOOO.


    MADHERO: Well now you've got a excuse. Tis the season


    LARRY: Okay so I think my Christmas Movie wins in the sense that people would probably watch mine  on the holiday.


    STICKMAN: I'm not sure I'll have time to watch this, what with all the Children of Men I need to see.


    MADHERO: HEY FUCK YOU! Just because you picked the most lightweight option doesn't mean they'll gravitate towards your movie. Mine is a nice inbetween yours and Stickman. Not as goofy and light as yours, and not as depressing as Sticky's. Therefore its the perfect alternative Christmas films. One for the Die Hard audience


    STICKMAN: It's not Christmas unless we're having a fight.


    LARRY: Well geez. Just goes to show. Mad doesn't fuck around with In Bruges.


    STICKMAN: GUYS GUYS, we're...we're forgetting the TRUE meaning of Christmas here. And that's lots of kissing lizards. Just...I forgot the Mistletoe.


    MADHERO: And while you're at it, also go see Seven Psychopaths by the same director. Not a Christmas movie, so you'll have to wait on that, but for now, go check out In Bruges if you want a fun new Christmas tradition.


    STICKMAN: Now you're just cheating. Hey guys go watch Collateral. It's not a Christmas movie or anything but hey.


    LARRY: Nah but I haven't seen In Bruges either. So like I can't really say anything other than... yeah I'll watch it.


    MADHERO: Alright, with all this talk I think it might be best to close this whole thing off?


    -----------

    MADHERO: Well, that's the last Screwvies of 2016. It sure has been a wild ride, what with host changes, site changes, and more. Obviously we'll be back in 2017 with a lookback and giving out the awards that truly matter (no date set just yet, but you'll see). So yeah, just wanna say thank you for reading


    STICKMAN: Oh so we're actually back next year? Phew, don't need to go to the Job Centre in January then.


    LARRY: Yeah. It's been one hell of a ride as the new host, but I've really enjoyed having a venue to talk about movies and stuff. Thanks for having me tag along.


    STICKMAN: And I'm still here. Dragging the whole show down Into a hellish fire. MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE. SEE YOU IN 2017.


    MADHERO: So yeah, merry Christmas, happy holidays, and an overall happy new year. Lets make it less of a shitshow this time. Bye guys


    LARRY: We'll do our best. Bye everyone!

  • Wishlist, sort of.

    6 months ago

    beastdude Rock god in training

    So I don't use the 'new' wishlist feature since the redo of the web site. But I have kept and made a note of everything in the store that I'd like. Things like lack of money, physical space at home, and lack of money have stopped me buying stuff these days.

    That being said, I thought it'd be funny if I made a journal of my current noted wishlist here. Not everything noted is currently available, or will be available again, but I've kept the note just incase. Also some prices may be wrong. The prices on some are noted in £ instead of $ as I looked them up on the UK store, but I stopped doing that when making the notes for the new stuff. Prepare your wallets :P


    the slo mo guys on itunes, google play, amazon
    RVBX: Ten Years of Red vs. Blue Exclusive 15-Disc Blu-Ray Boxed Set - $179.95
    A Simple Walk Into Mordor DVD - $9.95
    Fails of the Weak: Halo Edition DVD - $9.95
    rwby volume 1 dvd - $19.95
    rwby volume 2 dvd - $19.95
    RWBY Volume 3 Blu-Ray / DVD combo pack - $24.95
    RWBY Volumes 1-3: Beacon SteelBook Blu-ray Set - $39.95 [get this instead of the above 3 dvds]
    rvb season 11 dvd - $19.95
    rvb season 12 dvd - $19.95
    rvb season 13 dvd - $19.95
    Red vs Blue Season 14 Special Edition Blu-Ray / DVD Combo Pack - $24.95
    RVB Chorus Trilogy (seasons 11-13) blu ray steel book - $39.95 [get this instead of the above 3 dvds]
    The Best Red vs. Blue DVD Ever of all time - $9.95
    The Best of Rooster Teeth Shorts DVD - $9.95
    Rooster Teeth Shorts - Volumes 4 & 5 - DVD - $11.95
    The Best of the Rooster Teeth Animated Adventures DVD - $9.95
    The Best of Rooster Teeth Animated Adventures - Volume 2 - DVD - $9.95
    X-Ray and Vav Seasons 1 & 2 Blu-Ray / DVD combo pack - $24.95
    Lazer Team Unrated Director's Cut Blu-Ray/DVD Combo Pack - $24.95


    Red vs. Blue Season 12 Soundtrack CD - $11.95
    Red vs. Blue Season 13 Soundtrack CD - $11.95


    Burnie Bobble Head - £18.50
    gus bobble head - $24.95
    RWBY Ruby Figure - £26.50
    RWBY Weiss Figure - $34.95
    RWBY Blake Figure - $34.95
    RWBY Yang Figure - $34.95
    RWBY Jaune Figure - $34.95
    RWBY Nora Figure - $34.95
    RWBY Pyrrha Figure - $34.95
    RWBY Ren Figure - $34.95
    Team RWBY 4 Set Vinyl Figures - $39.95
    RWBY Blind Box Jazwares Figures (Series 1) - $6.95 [1 randomized figure per box out of 11 characters]
    RWBY Mercury Figure - $34.95
    RWBY Emerald Figure
    RWBY Roman Figure
    RWBY Cinder Figure


    RWBY Yang Plush - $18.95
    RWBY Blake Plush - $18.95
    RWBY Weiss Plush - $18.95
    RWBY Ruby Plush - $18.95
    RWBY Yang Chibi Plush - $12.95
    RWBY Blake Chibi Plush - $12.95
    RWBY Weiss Chibi Plush - $12.95
    RWBY Ruby Chibi Plush - $12.95
    ORF Plushie - $12.95


    Kinda Funny Smiley Plush - $19.95

    Rooster Teeth Throw Pillow - $29.95
    Funhaus Throw Pillow - $29.95
    AH Off Topic Throw Pillow - $29.95
    RWBY Throw Pillow - $29.95


    Button Bundle - All Four Button Packs - $19.95
    achievement hunter button pack 1 - $5.95
    RWBY Button Pack - $5.95
    X-Ray & Vav Button Pack - $5.95
    RWBY Button Pack #3 - $5.95
    Achievement Hunter Button Pack #2 - $5.95
    Rooster Teeth Button Pack #3 - $5.95
    Lazer Team Button Pack #1 - $5.95
    Funhaus Button Pack #1 - $5.95
    RWBY chibi button pack - $5.95
    Lazer Team Lapel Pin - $4.95
    Funhaus Logo Lapel Pin - $4.95
    Achievement Hunter Logo Lapel Pin - $4.95


    Achievement Hunter Key Chain and Bottle Opener - $6.95
    Podcast Key Chain and Bottle Opener - £5.50
    Rooster Teeth Cock Bite Logo Key Chain and Bottle Opener - $6.95

    Memory is the Key Keychain for £6.50
    RT Logo Embossed Metal Keychain - $7.95
    AH Logo Embossed Metal Keychain - $7.95
    RWBY Logo Embossed Metal Keychain - $7.95
    funhaus logo embossed metal keychain - $7.95
    Mad King Embossed Metal Keychain - $9.95
    Mogar Embossed Metal Keychain - $9.95
    ORF Embossed Metal Keychain - $9.95


    rtaa playing cards - $6.95 [keep this one sealed as already got an open deck]
    achievement hunter playing cards - $6.95 [keep this one sealed as already got an open deck]
    Red vs Blue Playing Cards - $6.95 [keep this one sealed as already got an open deck]
    rwby playing cards - $6.95 [when buying get 2 decks, keep one sealed and open the other one]
    Shows of Rooster Teeth Playing Cards - $6.95 [when buying get 2 decks, keep one sealed and open the other one]


    'new' Rooster Teeth Logo Baseball Hat for $24.95
    Achievement Hunter Baseball Hat for $24.95
    Achievement Hunter Military Hat for £18.50
    Funhaus Baseball Hat - $24.95
    Rooster Teeth Hat - $24.95 {if they have it at the stall, also check the sizes [s/m and l/xl]}.
    PLG Logo Snapback Hat - $26.95


    RWBY Yang Emblem Vinyl Decal (Yellow) - $4.95
    RWBY Blake Emblem Vinyl Decal (Black) - $4.95
    RWBY Weiss Emblem Vinyl Decal (White) - $4.95
    RWBY Ruby Emblem Vinyl Decal (Red) - $4.95
    Rooster Teeth Logo Vinyl Decal (Red) - £3.75
    Achievement Hunter Logo Vinyl Decal (Green) - £3.75
    Lazer Team DETIA Seal Vinyl Decal (Black) - $5.95
    RWBY Ren Emblem Vinyl Decal - $5.95
    RWBY Pyrrha Emblem Vinyl Decal - $5.95
    RWBY Nora Emblem Vinyl Decal - $5.95
    RWBY Jaune Emblem Vinyl Decal - $5.95
    RWBY Emerald Emblem Vinyl Decal - $5.95
    RWBY Mercury Emblem Vinyl Decal - $5.95
    RWBY Roman Emblem Vinyl Decal - $5.95
    RWBY Cinder Emblem Vinyl Decal - $5.95


    RvB Mother of Invention Coffee Mug for £9.50
    rwby logo mug - $12.95
    achievement hunter logo mug - $12.95
    rooster teeth logo coffee mug - £9.50
    Rooster Teeth Logo Coffee Mug - $12.95
    On The Spot Logo Coffee Mug - $12.95
    RWBY Beacon Emblem Coffee Mug - $12.95


    Achievement Hunter Insulated Tumbler - $12.95 
    RWBY Insulated Tumbler - $12.95
    Rooster Teeth Insulated Tumbler - $12.95
    Lazer Team Hot/Cold Tumbler - $12.95


    AH Black on Black Silipint - $11.95
    Rooster Teeth Black on Black Silipint - $11.95
    Rooster Teeth Silipint - $11.95
    Funhaus Logo Silipint - $11.95
    RWBY Yang Emblem Silipint - $11.95
    RWBY Blake Emblem Silipint - $11.95
    RWBY Weiss Emblem Silipint - $11.95
    RWBY Ruby Emblem Silipint - $11.95
    Kinda Funny Logo Silipint - $11.95
    Cow Chop White Logo Silipint - $11.95
    AH Logo Silipint - $11.95


    ScrewAttack Bolt Logo Shot Glass - $6.95
    Funhaus Logo Shot Glass - $6.95
    Lazer Team Logo Shot Glass - $6.95
    Game Attack Shot Glass - $6.95
    Kinda Funny Shot Glass - $6.95
    Cow Chop Logo Shot Glass - $6.95
    Always Open Shot Glass - $6.95


    AH Off Topic Podcast Logo Pint Glass - $10.95
    Funhaus Logo Pint Glass - $10.95
    RWBY Logo Pint Glass - $10.95
    Let's Play Logo Pint Glass - $10.95


    RWBY Coasters - $19.95
    Funhaus Logo Coasters - $19.95
    Rooster Teeth Coasters - $19.95
    RVB Coasters - $19.95
    Kinda Funny Coasters - $19.95
    Achievement Hunter Logo Coasters - $19.95
    Cow Chop Coasters - $19.95


    RWBY Ruby Emblem Stainless Steel Bottle - $24.95
    Achievement Hunter Logo Stainless Steel Bottle - $24.95
    Rooster Teeth Logo Stainless Steel Bottle - $24.95


    RWBY Glamour Poster (24" x 36") - $10.95


    Achievement Hunter Logo Patch - £4.50
    Rooster Teeth Logo Patch - £4.50


    AH Slap Bands #6 - Set of Two (Nice Dynamite and X-Ray & Vav) - £5.50
    AH Slap Bands #5 - Set of Two (Team Lads and Team Gents) - £5.50
    AH Slap Bands #4 - Set of Two (Free Edgar & Mark Nutt) - £5.50


    Rooster Teeth Logo Flag - $29.95
    Achievement Hunter Logo Flag - $29.95
    Funhaus Logo Flag - $29.95


    Achievement Hunter Logo Belt Buckle - $29.95


    Achievement Hunter Metallic Tattoos - Set of 4 - $4.95
    Rooster Teeth Metallic Tattoos - Set of 4 - $4.95


    Achievement Hunter 3D Metallic Emblem - $14.95
    Rooster Teeth 3D Metallic Emblem - $14.95
    Funhaus 3D Metallic Emblem - $14.95
    RWBY Logo 3D Metallic Emblem - $14.95


    Achievement Hunter Logo Tie - $39.95
    Rooster Teeth Logo Tie - $39.95


    Rooster Teeth Logo Sterling Silver Pendant - $29.95
    Achievement Hunter Logo Logo Sterling Silver Pendant - $29.95
    RWBY Logo Sterling Silver Pendant - $29.95


    Red vs Blue Key Cap - $6.95
    Kinda Funny Key Cap - $6.95
    Rooster Teeth Key Cap - $6.95
    Funhaus Key Cap - $6.95
    Achievement Hunter Key Cap - $6.95
    RWBY Key Cap - $6.95
    Cow Chop Key Cap - $6.95


    Achievement Hunter Microplush Blanket - $34.95
    Rooster Teeth Microplush Blanket - $34.95
    X-Ray & Vav Double-Sided Microplush Blanket - $34.95
    RWBY Double-Sided Microplush Blanket - $34.95
    Funhaus Microplush Blanket - $34.95


    Rooster Teeth Shower Curtain - White - $69.95
    Rooster Teeth Shower Curtain - Black - $69.95
    Red vs Blue Shower Curtain - Black - $69.95
    Achievement Hunter Shower Curtain - $69.95
    RWBY Logo Shower Curtain - $69.95


    achievement hunter lanyard - $4.95
    rooster teeth lanyard - $4.95


    Rooster Teeth Christmas Stocking - $19.95


    RTAA Sun Shield - $34.95
    RWBY Logo Vanity Plate - $19.95


    RvB Ultimate Fan Guide Book - $19.99 (around £10? on amazon)


    RWBY Japan 4 Button Set with Pouch - $24.95
    RWBY Official Japanese Fan Book - Revised Edition - $24.95


  • My Top 10 Trailers of 2016

    6 months ago

    IAmVeryMoist Rebel Scum

    This might be an unfair post to make as of now considering 2016 is not yet over. But with the trailers I've compiled thus far, it is already a tough list to make. These trailers were all released in 2016 regardless of if they're for films coming out in 2017. The list is my personal favorite trailers. It's all subjective but I did use I slight guideline when picking these out and sorting them. It came down to the music, shot compilation, how well it presents the story of the film, as well as excitement level. The last criteria is a little opinionated because one persons excitement for a film may not be the same for someone else's. 


    Regardless, here is my Top 10 Trailers of 2016. 


    10: BLAIR WITCH (The Woods)


    Initially titled as THE WOODS, Adam Wingard and Simon Barrett's official sequel to the influential found footage horror film The Blair Witch Project, sought out to right the wrongs of it's initial sequel Book of Shadows (which is shit). Despite your thoughts on this film (which I enjoyed) the trailer itself even with the name of The Woods still attached is deeply unnerving. The incorporation of the song Every Breathe You Take was used excellently to depict the nature of the film as these kids venture into the Blackhills Forest and indeed are being "watched" by whatever lives in the woods. A short and simple trailer that provides some creepy and disturbing imagery whilst keeping the majority of the film hidden to everyone. 



    9: Green Room

    Another minimalist trailer that benefits greatly from not showing much of anything. While the general plot and conflict of the film is clearly laid out, the big surprises and fun of the film is unseen. This makes the viewing of the film that much more intense and memorable. You get just enough from this trailer to peak your interest and get you to want to watch the movie, which is the MAIN goal of any good trailer. Patrick Stewarts ominous voice over provides a sense of tread and terror for whats to come for these kids trapped in a green room.


    8:  The Invitation


    Now personally, this trailer may show more than what I would want someone to see. But as far as trailers go it is certainly one that grabs ahold of you and makes you ask questions. If you could just take my word for it, I'd say just go watch this movie immediately on Netflix. Go in as blind as possible. If you want to watch the trailer anyway despite my advice then it's here for you. From the opening music to the last shots as we hear gasps of terror before the trailer ends, the descent into paranoia and madness is clearly illustrated here. It's a well calculated and superbly cut together trailer. 



    7: American Honey

    The music in this trailer (which is also in the film) is the through line that holds everything together. Shot in 4:3 aspect ratio, giving it an odd flair, the trailer for American Honey shows the rebellious and free spirited nature of the film. While I have my own personal gripe with how the movie is 20 minutes or so too long (it's around 2hr 45min), the trailer shows all the best aspects of the movie and clearly represents what the flick is all about. It's raw, beautiful, and tragic.


    6: 10 Cloverfield Lane

    I am an absolute sucker for great music in trailers, if that isn't already apparent from this list. And 10 Cloverfield Lane is no exception. This movie came out of nowhere and shocked everyone who was a fan of Cloverfield and JJ Abrams in general. The aura of mystery beyond what we're seeing in the trailer was thrilling and even after it ends, we still have NO FUCKING CLUE what is going on. But I'd be hard pressed to believe that someone wouldn't wanna watch this after seeing this trailer.


    5: Suicide Squad 


    This is the 2nd trailer featuring Bohemian Rhapsody by Queen. While I abhor the movie as a whole, this trailer and quite frankly all of the trailers, remind me how excited I was for this movie. I was rooting for DC on this one and they once again dropped the ball... hard. The trailer is well cut together and matches to the song beautifully. It looks fun, poppy, colorful, and action packed. Everything that the movie wasn't. 


    4: ROGUE ONE: A Star Wars Story

    Oddly enough this isn't higher on my list considering I am a HUGE Star Wars fan. I chose the first teaser trailer because for me, I didn't need all the extra fluff that we see in the official trailer, trailer 2, or even the international trailer. While those other trailers did indeed visually confirm the presence of Darth Vader, I didn't need that. All I needed was to see visually the plot at hand, our new heroes, and motherfucking AT-AT's (oh I'm sorry... AT-ACT's, they're different from EMPIRE) storming the beaches of Scarif and mowing down people. That accompanied with the fantastic music and the Death Star sirens blaring hauntingly... everything about this teaser teased me and I LOVED it.



    3: SWISS ARMY MAN

    What is quite possibly my favorite film of 2016, the trailer for Swiss Army Man perfectly captures the sheer absurd nature of the film. A corpse that jet skis across the ocean propelled by it's farts. That alone made me want to see this movie. And then I saw this trailer and fell in love. The beautiful imagery, the performances that are showcased in this short trailer, as well as the delightful Montage song from the soundtrack by Andy Hull and stars Paul Dano and Daniel Radcliffe further solidified this as a must see for me and made this trailer one of my favorites of the year.


    2: LOGAN

    This came out of complete left field for me seeing as I wasn't really aware this was a thing. And as a not so big X-Men fan, the fact that this trailer is #2 on my list speaks volumes to how great this trailer is. The pairing of Johnny Cash's Hurt could not have been placed better in any other trailer than this one. It matches beautifully with the tragic state of Logan in this film and I look forward to seeing this R rated Wolverine film as Jackman's final bow as the clawed X-Men. The right amount of intrigue and mystery, coupled with a co-starring performance by Patrick Stewart, Logan has the makings of being the finest version of Wolverine we'll ever see. 



    #1LA LA LAND

    I am an absolute sucker for musicals. As someone who has been in many musicals myself and seen a shit ton of them, seeing something like La La Land appear on movie screens in this day and age is an absolute dream. The trailer taps into something lost in modern cinema... magic. The trailer is wonderfully delightful and colorful. It's brimming with wonder and joy. Written and Directed by Damien Chazelle who recently brought us the incomparable Whiplash, brings La La Land to theaters next month. Filled with original music and Oscar worthy performances from Ryan Gosling and Emma Stone, La La Land looks like the movie that you get all dressed up for with a beautiful date and make it a spellbinding evening at your local cinema. 



    So there it is folks, my Top 10 Trailers of 2016. Now I wanna know what some of your favorite trailers are from 2016. Comment below your favorites and let me know what you think of my list!


  • Extra Life: What Ive Seen so far!

    6 months ago

    BloodCal-Cal7 Im Callam Hi

    #1 Miles is clearly going insane from this

    #2 MICHAEL AND LINDSAY Pregers!

    #3 Kerry May die at the end of this

    #4 Do you think they'll do some thing fucked up if they reach 1 million

  • Extra Life is here!

    6 months ago

    MrWartburg Team Fat

    So as previously noted in a couple other journals I'm doing Extra Life this year! Findraising has gone quite well so far, with my team sitting at $695 of the $750 goal and my personal page at $420 (insert joke here) of the $500 goal. I'm starting my stream at 9 am CST on the 5th and we'll be giving away a bunch of prizes throughout the day.  Heck, only one tier has yet to be reached so 7 of the 8 are just going to be raffle off about every three hours to who ever is in the chat! Seriously, 7 of the 8 giveaways only require you to be in the chat when we raffle them off, have a twitch account and a working keyboard. That's it. Here's the breakdown:


    Giveaway #1 - Death of the Family - RAFFLE AT 11:50 a.m. CST on 11/5


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    Giveaway #2: Amiibos - RAFFLE AT 3:30 PM CST on 11/5


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    Giveaway #3: Kinda Funny Poster and coasters - RAFFLE at 6:30 p.m. CST on 11/5


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    The second coaster I have yet to finish, but it will be done first part of next week. Prep was a bit more time intensive than I planned.


    Giveaway #4: RvB seasons 11 & 12 - RAFFLE AT 9 pm CST on 11/5


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    Giveaway #5: Young Justice Figure + seasons 1/2 (DVD) - RAFFLE AT 11:50 am CST on 11/6


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    Giveaway #6: RWBY Seasons 1 & 2 (Blu-ray) - RAFFLE AT 3:45 pm CST on 11/6


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    Giveaway #7: Vytal Festival Wall Hanging + Team RWBY Coaster Set - RAFFLE AT 7 pm CST on 11/6

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    Wall hanging needs to be sanded and clear coated


    And lastly, if you're still looking at this, I have a collection of video game themed woodburning items. 


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    Entering the giveaway is pretty simple, just donate $5 for 1 entry (need a Twitch username in the donation note) to my team or personal Extra Life page and we'll put your name in for the big raffle at the end of the weekend, 9 pm CST on 11/6. Donate $10? Then you get two entries! $25? Then you get five! 


    So, what do you think? See you tomorrow at 9 am CST!