MWAHAHAHAHAAA!!

 

 

Greetings everyone to the annual exciting list of everything to remember of the previous year!  2013 certainly was a busy year for Screwattack with the rise of SGC, Pokemon, Superman, videos, and random awesomeness.  I feel that 2013 was a year of growth and connection for the site, and for the crew along with it.  But, of course, I don’t wish to spoil too much too soon so that you’ll actually read the list! XD If you wish to relive any of the moments I put up, then feel free to click on the title headings!  I’m an awesome dark lord to bow to, am I right?  However, creating a Top 10 list was a hell of a lot harder than anticipated.  So hard, that I feel it would be a disgrace if I didn’t include a massive Honorable Mentions list as well.

In addition…I have a confession to make.

I did not see all the SideScrollers and Screwin’ Around episodes last year since I was super-busy with school stuffs (and they take up a /lot/ of time, unfortunately). I apologize.  …I really need to figure out how to listen them in the car…

 

Three rules:?

1.     It MUST have happened within 2013! No a few seconds into 2012 or 2014---2013!

2.     It MUST be a true ScrewAttack moment.  For instance, if…I dunno…Nick went on to guest speak on the Today Show or something about his mad cooking skills, that doesn’t count.  Just because a crew member guests somewhere, doesn’t necessarily mean that it’s a ScrewAttack moment. Like JonTron being a speaker for DYKG? That’s not a “true” JonTron moment. At least, in my opinion.

3.     Only ONE SGC moment allowed. Sorry... Otherwise this list would be filled with them.

 

Honorable Mentions:?

To hopefully make up for at least the SideScrollers episodes, I contacted the one person I know who diligently watches them. Of course, that is none other than the magnificent Tom the Iron Man—g1 of the year 2012! (He shall be in italics.)

Now, before he puts his input, first I want to give you a small story of how badly cyberspace DID NOT want him to contribute!  For one, this blog was supposed to be finished up around the 3rd week of January as my 2nd January blog. ….however….thanks to snowmageddon, I didn’t finish my end until around the end of January or so…and Tom left his data on the school’s harddrive and couldn’t get it back! If only he saved it on his laptop! XD  For some reason, he couldn’t get the data back despite how hard he tried, so he had to try to retype it from memory.  A few days ago, he finally finished, yet his phone acted up on him and he failed at sending me the info by PM and email thanks to cyberspace glitches. D:  At this point, I was determined to have his input since I felt that it wouldn’t be right to post this without him after asking for help.  And finally, after long last, here he is!!

 

Greetings and salutations g1 Nation! While the “first season” of SideScrollers recently came to a close, calendear year 2013 certainly had some stellar moments full of lolz, surprises, and downright grade A ScrewAttack craziness. Here are some of the standouts me:

I would be completely remiss if I didn’t start this off with the MAGFest 11 recap from the January 8 2013 episode “Mommy’s Spiked Milkshake”. Easily one of the greatest things about a podcast is the level of intimacy one can have with the listening audience, it’s like radio but the nth degree because it can be listened to on-demand. Having been attending MAGFests since MAGFest 7 (which is when I first met Craig and Chad in person) it was always cool as the other side of the pillow to see their reactions and recaps of what they thought were some of the standout moments. Though I will have to say to hear the office’s reaction to the naming of the g1 of the Year a moment that I particularly enjoyed in a COMPLETELY AND TOTALLY OBJECTIVE WAY.

*coughs*

Moving along. A thing that really stood out looking back at this episode in particular was the mixed reaction in the room about THQ filing for Chapter 11 Bankruptcy (oh boy how did THAT turn out) the rumors of the specifications and design of what we now know as Valve’s “Steam Box” (STEAM MASHEEN). Sure we all know about it now and I’d have to say there’s a good number of members of the g1 Nation that are anxiously awaiting its release, but Craig was oh-so-skeptical with good reason. He was quick to point out that with *this* many consoles out fighting for dominance (and the WiiU already out with the bad news of the recently delayed Rayman Legends) that it was starting to look A LOT like the Video Game Crash of 1983. I personally would have to say that the industry has gotten to big to fail, but not so big that all companies will survive with the way consumer preference is leaning. Craig went on to say that a company would die as a result of this oversaturation, and to be honest I wouldn’t be surprise if someone did.

The episode continue into the recap of MAGFest, Table Flipping for Charity, the massive arcade, panels galore and briefly touching upon “The Wheel of Destiny” and what a moment they spent on that. Funny how The Wheel of Destiny evolved into what we now know as the “Bottom’s Up Cup” and how that has become its own “thing” post-Mario Party After Dark.

The SideScrollers Newsdesk (hit the music) greeted 2013 a cat smuggling supplies into a Brazilian Prison (crafty kitteh) but the one that stole the show for sure was a young girl spiking her mother’s milkshake with a sleeping aid so she can go on the internet when her were parents unconscious. This quickly turned into a parenting discussion on how Little Mac (his infant daughter McKenzie) would learn to fear and respect parental authority. The idea of “The Tank” music from Battletanks 64 and the old Clip of the Week “The Tank” was brought up and it was suggested that McKenzie got used to hearing that and know what to fear when she hears the music: daddy.

Jumping forward to later in the month with Janurary 22nd 2013, Rhyme Crimes. It kicks off talking about the videos going up on the site that week and one of them was Manos: The Hands of Fate by a little company called Freakzone Games. HMMMMMMMM I wonder where we’ve heard that name before? :D Let’s just say that Craig reviewing Manos was the springboard that most certainly lead to the development of one of my favorite indie platformers of 2013: Angry Video Game Nerd Adventures. How about that?

Hard News dives into the announcement of Disney Infinity and all the insanity that can come from it. With all the recent announcements about the expansion packs and ESRB discoveries of Marvel and Star Wars add-ons looks like their wild dreams (that again showed up in the 2014 predictions video) looked like they were too far off. Craig goes onto say that one more company will do this before the market hits critical mass and becomes “just another thing” and the novelty wears off. He claims stake to Nintendo to be the ones to do it, and with the NFC (Near Field Communication) built into the WiiU, it seems like a naturally good guess. Nothing has materialized as of yet, but who knows what E3 will bring for 2014?

Middle segment, while not full of yuckity-yucks and knee slappers, it was a subject that is so very real – relationships between boyfriends and girlfriends, their friends, and VIDJA GAEMZ. Basically the situation was that Bryan wanted to do co-op Dead Space 3 with his friend. The catch was he had to plan around it when his friend’s girlfriend was out of town. This quickly spiraled into a conversation about striking the proper balance between time with your significant other, time for yourself to decompress, and time for recreation. Also the subject of children with the two proud papas in the room, Craig and Chad on how children can affect one’s gaming habits and the balancing act that comes into place there as well. Like I said it was more of a life lesson segment rather than a knee-slapper segment, but it bares worth listening to for life advice over something that we all can either relate to or prepare ourselves mentally with for later.

Don’t stop reading! The comedy is still here! If having a dog accidentally run over its owner in a car doesn’t make you go “WTF” at the outset of this installment of the SideScrollers Newsdesk, this one will. Two little people dressed as Oompah Loompahs went around mugging and attack strangers. This lead of course to the name of the episode “Rhyme Crimes” as Bryan, Chad, and Craig proceed to make a series rhyming jokes to the theme of the Gene Wilder Willie Wonka in classic Oompah Loompah style. Pure gold. Give that segment a listen, one of my all time favorite newsdesk stories.

Jumping towards September 25th 2013 “Sexual Deviants” oh wow was this a loaded episode. I know you’re saying “but Tom, isn’t every episode a loaded episode?” You’d be right but there was a lot going on in here that outside of a post-SGC/post-MAGFest episode this was a jam packed “regular” episode.  It starts off with a barely there voiced-Chad who is still recovering from an allergic reaction he suffered finally defeating Beetlejuice for the NES on Jared’s stream. What a show, what a stream, and boy was Chad a trooper to stay up that late and regale the story for all of us to hear again in his depleted condition!

The tone changes slightly has the guys pay their respects to Hiroshi Yamaguchi, the former President and Chairman of Nintendo, and they pay their respects in an extremely thoughtful and heartfelt way of sharing their personal experiences and then thing on the fact of how very different the industry landscape would be today if this man never got involved in the home video game market. This quickly turns into a “best Nintendo memory” moments to which I too shared many of the same. Mario 64 also turned 17 that month and Nick, Sam, and Chad debate whether Parker has played it or would be any good at it. Funny enough at the 36 hour Marathon for ScrewAttack’s 8th birthday Parker exclaimed after winning a round of Mario Kart to the room “I beat you on a console that’s older than me!” and Nick’s eyes got as wide as dinner plates upon hearing that.

The Newsdesk got a story of what happens when you are politician, taking a on a girlfriend that is half your age…….and what happens when you OD on Viagra. You know how in all the commercials that say if you are, how to say this, “feeling the effects” for more than 4 hours or more? Well this guy was taking that little blue pill that Bob Dole was a spokesman for and took more than one so he could “keep up” with his new girlfriend and it cost him dearly. Unable to “calm” himself after the aid of medical doctors…well…let’s just said the two had to part company…literally. The reaction from the guy was hysterical as a mixture of agony and bad jokes at this guy’s expense. Bottom line is the guys came to the conclusion, no matter how box your girlfriend, it’s not worth losing the “little guy” over.

Oh what a year what a year, though technically not 2013 (HEY!!! *warlock punches*), but the first episode of 2014 before the show went on haitus recorded live at MAGFest 12, a true gem. A splash of newsdesk live, a bunch of Q&A from the audience, and g1 Kainin contributed to the finale in a way that only gave Chad such epic fuel for a fire that he and Sam had planned already. GIVE IT A LISTEN, I will do no justice trying to recap what happened here!

Back to you Dark Lord of Hyrule! *bows*

 

Again, thanks so much for your input man!  But….ugh…I really hate to do this, but even though I was *this* close to putting Rhyme Crimes, Chad and Jared defeating Beetlejuice, Viagra shenanigans, and the announcement of the g1 of the year into the Top Ten after witnessing it, I still couldn’t do it (especially Rhyme Crimes, since that was hilarious. XD).  It was incredibly tough to decide, as you shall see in a sec from the amount of honorable mentions I have.  But I shall discuss my thoughts on what Tom said.

I definitely remember watching that January episode, remembering keyly about Craig’s thoughts about the console wars… What’s sad is that his fears are coming into fruition.  However, I didn’t really want to put a sad moment into the Top Ten…  The Rhyme Crimes almost made it due to how ridiculously hilarious it was. XD  Chad and Jared defeating Beetlejuice MAY have actually made it yet I feel that it’s more of a ‘Jared’ moment than a ScrewAttack moment…since it’s on his stream and such. Although, him talking and recounting about it certainly is a memory to remember. …also I can’t find the full recording.

 

AT LONG LAST, TOM HAS DEFEATED CYBERSPACE!

 

Thanks again for your help Tom!  Now there’s Sidescrollers in here! YES!  Here are some of my moments that made the honorary mentions…

 

Fruit Snack Challenge

-Brad and Sam duked it out on a battle of fruit gummies as they engorged bag after bag of them. Sam really schooled Brad here, and wasn’t kidding when he said that his colon was like Communist Russia and wanted to eat fruit snacks. However, despite how hilarious and epic this battle (or domination) was, I feel that it couldn’t quite topple the top ten and Brad vomiting out all of those…colorful…rainbow mess was slightly gross and almost matched Ben’s salsa vomit.

 

Totally Screwed Trash Talk?

-Going to wrestling that actually matters, Jimmy Woods and Spanky bring forth the matches between SA crew members—and even Ben and Chad battle it out as well as Chad and Sam just to name a few! The trash talk felt like good ol’ fun roasting in good fun that was perhaps even more enjoyable than the match itself! Chad “eats fighting and shits victory”! Although, this pales in comparison to the match of the year…

 

Nick Lost a Master Ball?

-While Nick was playing the new Pokemon game, he made the silly mistake of using wonder trade with a Sentret that had a Master Ball equipped. While I have personally made the mistake of trading a hold item away by accident, I still can’t help but think as to WHY Nick equipped that on it—since it didn’t help the Sentret. It’s not like the backpack has a weight limit! Either way, silly Nick got a Master Ball from a friendly g1 and got the greatest Caterpie in the world! MASTERPIE!!  Unfortunately Misty’s worst nightmare didn’t make the cut.

 

Don't be me!?

-Another good Nick moment this year that consists of his misadventures with the 3DS, Nick plays the new Animal Crossing with his town called Limbo. However, yet again, he made the mistake of erasing the wrong data file where he lost his town he spent 2 months to build (even though, ironically, it could be found with another player’s 3DS). …at least he won’t have to pick up all of those weeds again? He gave the advice with the quote, “Don’t be me.” This quote almost made the cut, but not quite. It was hard to choose!

 

Spitwad Technology?

-2013 was practically the year of Nick Cramer for his father popped in one summer day to introduce one of the greatest inventions to the world—the giant spitwad gun! The crew and him tested out this beast by plastering the wall with a giant ball of wet paper. One must wonder what the spot looks like after several months…would be funny if there was still a hint of paper left. You wouldn’t want to get hit by that thing.

 

FUNimation Voice Acting

-The ScrewAttack crew had the golden opportunity to go to the FUNimation studio to be able to take the detailed tour of the place! Lauren even managed to squeeze in one of those Toys R’ Us like runs from Nickelodeon where she ran in within a time limit to get as many merchandise from shelves as possible.  Can’t blame her though, since I’m pretty sure everyone wanted to do one of those. Who doesn’t like free stuff? Although the icing on the cake was when they did the voice acting—which simply was really cool—but the top ten is so great that not even that made the list!

 

Soda run?

-Craig and his top team of scientists (which bafflingly didn’t include Wiz, of all people…huh) goes around to various fast food places to see exactly how much soda were in those cups! It was amazing how much ice they put into those massive drinks (although, now that I think about it, it might be the better since Americans really don’t need 60 oz. of soda. The great pig demon, does, however!) and I found this moment to be really good since it captured Craig’s willingness to do cool tests like these the whole nine yards. However, would you believe that it didn’t make the cut?

 

Cat Music?

-Earlier on in the year, g1 Echoes gave Lauren the thoughtful gift of the sounds of cat music. Knowing how much Lauren is a cat person, I’m sure she enjoyed this feline gift. Also her reaction of giggling as well as the crew’s reaction was also good. Unfortunately, those kittays couldn’t make the cut.

 

Pokecrastination

-Pokemon gets mentioned again, and admittedly was a big part of 2013 due to the Pokemon X/Y craze. In fact, so much so that Craig didn’t work after the day of it’s release, claiming that he went for some family trip or something. (I truly wonder if Craig made an excuse to play Pokemon or not.) Brian became the boss for the day, but then realizes later that everyone was playing Pokemon instead of working! Pokemon did make the list, but this unfortunately didn’t.

 

Robot Craig?

-I simply needed to say that Robot Craig needs a return. That is all. For he likes treasure and bootybootybootybootybootybootybootybootybootybootybootybootybootybootybooty bootybootybootybootybootybootybootybootybootybootybootybootybootybootybooty bootybootybootybootybootybootybootybootybootybootybootybootybootybootybooty bootybootybootybootybooty! *crashes*

 

Shao Kahn and M. Bison's Friendship?

-Seeing this at the Death Battle panel at SGC, it was perfect to have this alternate ending to the Death Battle between the world’s two greatest and evil rulers! Unfortunately, this funny scene can only be seen on Advantage…so…why not get Advantage and help profit this amazing site? *hides bundle of money in back pocket* It’s great!

 

Superman vs. Goku?

-This epic battle released very early in the year would have probably made the cut due to the enormous amount of effort done by researchers, Ben, Chad, and animator for this amazing half hour season finale. The animations in particular were truly amazing and for that brief moment of watching these two titans duke it out! The Earth even gets destroyed in the process!! ….BUT. This really grinds my gears how something from other people caused what SHOULD have been one of the greatest and epic moments of the year to be something of a massive nuisance.  Blind Dragonball fanboys constantly and unstoppingly bicker and fight about this and we alllll saw it coming. I mean, Goku vs. Superman was a fun fight, but we all kinda knew that Superman was going to win due to how ridiculously overpowered he is. And, honestly, I think that Superman is a much less cooler character than Goku is since Superman is so….so…bland and overpowered as a super hero. Still! People have kept this rather annoying raging over the episode for what seems like more than 5 months of denial nonstop.  It’s really sad that I couldn’t put this up on the top ten…due to the amount of effort. Sorry about the rant.

 

The Amazing Frog

-Confession, I unfortunately didn’t have enough time to watch all of the Screwin’ Around episodes this year.  However! I did recall them playing The Amazing Frog for the Ouya on their streaming show, and, sure enough, it’s just as hilarious as it is like on Game Grumps when they played it. This game takes playing around with rag doll physics to a new level of ridiculousness and bouncing about on trampolines!  You can even try to claim the crown like in Super Mario 3D World! As great as this Screwin’ Around was, though, it lasted a bit too long to be considered a moment.

 

Heh....told you there would be a lot of Honorable Mentions. =P But onto the meat and potatoes!

 

TOP TEN MOMENTS:

What better way to start off our top ten officially than a mixture of meat wrapped in a potentially cancer causing agent, fake-cheese-spread-in-an-aerosol-can, and one of the most unhealthy foods made in mankind that can survive the apocalypse? Why with a Twinkie Wiener Sandwich of course!  A heart attack on a plate has never been more delectable than may the three-quarter pound bacon cheese triple thickburger. MMM!!! *chows down like a pig*

Nick and Craig went to go visit Weird Al Yankovich along with trying out the elusive Twinkie Wiener Sandwich that had a Twinkie wrapped around a hot dog topped with Easy Cheez.  Paying a fairly relatively hefty fee for it yet still worth it due to how epic this thing sounds, Craig turns out to be even more destructive than Nick tends to be as he accidentally tumbles the sandwich onto the table right after purchasing it and hilarity ensues. I guess I can’t blame Craig too much for spilling it since the sandwich is so cylindrical and it was on what appeared to be a fairly small tray. Still, that’s like the equivalent of buying like your kid a brand new toy and dropping it like OOPS! XD

Being the awesome and courageous SA member that he was, Nick still ate it despite its ruined state, mentioning that it tasted a bit more interesting and better than he expected. Now that I think about it, I’m thinking that CRAIG should have eaten the sandwich seeing how he spilled it! Either way, this makes the top ten for a picture-perfect accident scenario that’s just priceless. Non-scripted moments are always good.

 

Within the new show (that I believe) debued this year on ScrewAttack, it consisted of THE BEST EVER along with THE WORST EVER…both of which are the best ever shows this site has to offer, by the way. With one episode of THE BEST EVER, the SA crew talked about their favorite Pokemon including the Fear Rattata, Geodude, and Commie Chomps, the red Communist Gyarados. …all of which are gen 1 Pokemon. Hmm… Well, couldn’t really blame them since I’m sure I have a lot of gen 1 favorites due to nostalgia’s sake alone. …and that there are a lot of dumb new ones that no one cares about. ….like Lickylicky

For the record, my best ever is Reptar the Hydreigon who kicked ass! Walter would know. :P Although, funnily enough, it’s female.

Enough of my musings though. The ninth spot consists of Sam saying that Commie Chomps was his best ever due to how special it was due to the fact that shiny pokemon were new at the time.  He caught it with his original Gold Version game and rose to the top with such a mighty Communist creature by defeating the Elite Four!  He claims that his Gyarados was super special that he got with mad skills and totally didn’t just get it within the Lake of Rage! Oh wait…he just ‘said’ that to impress his friends… Well you know what? I’m going to personally believe that his Gyarados is super special with an iron fist—er…tail!

It is unfortunate though that he sold his game and was unable to get his amazing beast back…until… By some miracle (and a very friendly g1) Nick obtained Commie Chomps and battled it against Sam without him knowing! His face was fairly priceless when he saw his return. However, the moment that really captures the number 9 spot was when Sam used green screen and smack talked to Brock with his mighty water-flying type at his side hyper beaming the country side! EPIC!  Lance is a gnat compared to Sam and the rage of Commie Chomps!

 

Food makes the list yet again, but at a much larger and massive proportion when the crew gets the amazing idea of eating two whole pounds of rice krispy treats at night before eating bed between three people! Because if there’s one thing you can count on, it’s that people will do crazy things late nights at conventions. (It was Apex ’13 during the time.) ….You know, I could probably see them being able to do it if they thought of doing that in the morning instead of late at night…but who needs such an early start to tackle on a bunch of sugar and carbs, ain’t I right?  Seeing them all get geared up to eat such a behemoth is certainly one to keep within the books for ’13….especially when they quickly realize how bad of an idea this was!

It doesn’t take long for the whole crew though to slow down on their eating on the sugary sheet of terror like all eating challenges. In fact, even when Nick somehow finds the magic metabolism to take out nearly a half of the whole sheet, they still can’t manage to finish it! It’s funny too since Ben admits that he doesn’t even like rice krispy treats. …Which is kind of interesting too since Ben seems to be the first person that doesn’t like rice krispy treats… Then again I’m biased since that stuff is awesome!  Kind of reminds me how Craig was going to try to eat a three pound burrito all by himself while three people can’t finish off 2 pounds of treats!

Anyway I’m getting off topic.  Since the only way to finish the video is if they make all of the food disappear…what’s the only logical thing to do other than Nick’s magical metabolism? Why, to throw it off the balcony of course!  Too bad it seemed that Nick’s metabolism wasn’t enough to do it justice since managed to puke a good chunk of it that seemingly looked entirely undigested. I’m getting really suspicious that Nick didn’t eat all of that off camera!!!

 

This year saw the debut (I believe) of the “Choose Your Own Adventure” videos where you could choose a hilarious outcome to choose from. …although, let’s be honest here—all of us watch every ending. :P (Or at least I command you to!) While there were some good ones and I was this close to choosing the one where Bryan turns into a sandwich…well…for at least a few seconds before he was chowed down by Chad. XD

The number seven spot goes to nothing else than Lauren’s masterpiece of g1 Clayvman!  It…certainly is original.  To give you some back story, g1 Clayvman donated a good amount of money towards the SGC kickstarter back in August of ’12 to the point that he earned the Kickstarter reward of getting free lunch with the SA crew….I think.  Well, he went there, and Craig somehow forgot that he was supposed to take Clayvman to lunch—even to the point that they went to Cici’s without him! Therefore, Clayvman got his revenge by asking Lauren to make a picture of him! …or well…at least in my perfect universe. I mean, I don’t know about your dimension where you chose something different! If you didn’t get this choice in your universe then…I guess Rice Krispy Treats take the number 7 spot?

Well, either way, Lauren makes the drawing and you even get a behind the scenes look of her creating it! It…uh…is certainly very….interesting to say the least.  Memorable enough to get the number 7 spot!  When I first showed my brother the image when making this list, his reaction was like, “What the hell…?” lol  It isn’t enough that Clayvman has…uh…breasts. He has to be pooping as well.  This is one of those moments that gets up there due to how ridiculous it is! XD I wonder if Lauren shall make any more of her artwork in the future? Only time shall tell~ Then again, on second thought, I don’t know what would happen if Lauren did one on me and made Ganondorf do a warlock rainbow punch or something.

 

Who would have thought that an unboxing would make the list? And even at the number 6 spot?  Well that’s ScrewAttack and Craig for you—it’s safe to say that they can easily have the best unboxings ever.  Craig in particular takes unboxing videos to a whole new level by being a kid in a candy store and being truly excited to open it!  I would have put the Ouya unboxing up here due to how Craig literally finds out how to put the batteries into the controller by chewing on it! XD

Although, the PS4 unboxing easily takes the cake. It’s pretty much a confirmed fact by now that if Craig sees a new item, he immediately has the instinct to play around and touch all over it.  In fact, when he takes out the PS4, it doesn’t take long for him to put smears on the glossy surface and write a message on it!  It’s funny how he immediately goes for the prettiest thing and tosses the cables aside in favor of the shiniest object (clearly the console itself).  He tosses and plays around with it in his hands—probably making more than just the crew flinch at him marring a brand new console, for I clearly remember a few of you saying so in the comments.

However, he goes the extra mile and states, “And you can even use it as a Frisbee—“ as he seemingly tosses it to the side with one hand!  Bryan’s face in particular is absolutely priceless when this happens, and it’s great that it was caught on camera. :P  Although I really wished I could see Nick’s face on camera from what Craig told us, since he’s especially known to have hilarious faces now and then for Santa pictures.

Craig also even manages to get the same reaction from the crew from even pretending to throw the PS4 as a Frisbee again! Even though I doubt that anyone would truly actually want that to happen…unless it gets bricked or something.  Although, a suggestion for the next Shaq Fu destruction could be throwing them as Frisbees. I mean, I have a copy mysel---KEEP YOUR GRUBBY HANDS OFF ITS MY AWFUL GAME!

 

Easily one of the funniest and best Video Game Vaults of this year lands the list as Nick tries out his hand at surgery!  …Although, seeing how Nick breaks everything he touches, one must kind of wonder who hired him? Then again, as you will learn in a later vault, it seemed that Nick is actually the most qualified to be a surgeon…seeing how some people eat pizzas over corpses and burn their hands on coffee.

I’ll focus though on the first one where he becomes a surgeon since it started it all! Nick plays an old computer game called Life and Death that…well…really should be called DEATH like Nick says since no one comes out alive.  Since Nick learns things more like doing and would do what any sensible person these days would, he skips the tutorial and gets thrown in the thicket!  With Iphone games these days, who needs tutorials, right?  Well, it ends up being as hilarious as you would think with Nick blabbering about, looking at all of the random tools assorted in front of him with no idea what’s going on. …Kind of reminds me whenever I start a new electronics laboratory before I read the manual.

Naturally, it doesn’t take long for Nick to end up making a costly mistake and having his first patient kick the bucket.  Also I should probably mention that Nick’s FIRST action was the wrong one…going to show even more to read the manual first. =P It only gets better later on though for Life and Death 2 when Nick becomes a BRAIN surgeon!  Seeing this at SGC was a good time and I’m certain that these two video game vaults will be the most memorable ones.  Thank you surgeon Nick!

 

(skip to 55:30)

I find it funny that, despite this particular Mario Party After Dark to be the most….eh…well frankly worst one thanks to easily the worst Mario Party game of all time (Mario Party 9), that this has one of the best moments to come from the past year!  You know, that Mario Party where they ran around in circles for 15 turns and where minigames don’t pop up like normal after every turn? (shakes head)  This Mario Party After Dark had the great guest  of Ian, otherwise known as Brutalmoose, to join the fray! If you haven’t seen his videos, I highly encourage you to do so since they’re a blast! One of my favorites was easily his PrisonTycoon 3 with prisoners that treat working out as if it was a religion.

I tend to get off-topic a lot. I guess that’s just my evil genius at work who wasn’t at all bribed by Brutalmoose for advertisements!  Anyway, when Ian and the crew played the game, Ian wasn’t doing so well in the sta—OH I MEAN—silver stars department since he wasn’t winning as many minigames as he should. (Friggin Mario Party 9…) However! SURELY Ian could win in Bowser’s special minigame where you win by losing!  Well, the whole time Ian thought that it was just any old normal minigame and aimed to win.  So he was giving advice to everyone to use the D-pad and trying to get to the bottom first, thinking that he was supposed to avoid the spikey balls.  He cheered so hard when he reached the bottom, finally thinking that he finally won the minigame!  However, it didn’t take long for him to figure out that he was supposed to lose and for the whole crew to realize that Ian had the wrong mindset for winning!

It was kind of ironic as well that they were recently talking about their favorite Mario Party After Dark Moments and then one of the best ones popped up out of the blue!  I managed to talk to Ian at SGC about this and he said that he was so drunk that he didn’t even remember it. XP Almost makes me wonder if Ian would still win that special minigame if he knew he was supposed to lose.

 

This moment right here is why you wait until January of ’14 to do the top ten moments of the last year, for this moment literally came into play on the very last day of ’13!  I was almost kind of wondering if we were even going to have one in ’13…but it seemed that Craig saved the day and brought back the glory of the SA Royal Rumble!  For those of you that don’t know, the SA Royal Rumble is where 20 contestants in the SA world (including the crew, AVGN, Boomstick, etc.) duke it out in a Wrestling arena and try to push each other off the arena! However, they also include a special guest within the twenty that is the g1 of the previous year. And since the g1 of the year is 2012 is Tom the Iron Man, he was in the 2013 Royal Rumble.

The match itself was fairly epic and I was almost thinking that Evil Craig (who was naked, lol) might win, but it boiled down to none other than Ben and Tom himself!  It was insanely close and even Tom himself was barely hanging by a thread near the end, clutching to the ropes! However, history was made as Tom pushed Ben off and became the first ever g1 to win the SA Royal Rumble!  Such incredible luck for this to happen is amazing out of 20 contestants, and just goes to show how much of an Iron Man Tom truly is. …and that I find it a little bit ironic that I put this moment so high up here on the list when he did a slight collab with me to help find certain moments I may have missed.  And no, I did not get bribed by him to put this up here—I was going to put it relatively up here even if he didn’t collab. *quickly stuffs bundle of cash in back pocket*

 

This moment is one of the key reasons as to why you should get Advantage on this site, for it can only be viewed if you are an advantage member!  The actual E3 Overtime that the crew usual does is easily one of the funniest ones (even with the absence of Purple Pikmin Reggie) and probably could come close to making the list but…no.  The advantage content easily takes the cake and reminds us all that ScrewAttack puts some flavor and heart into their content instead of being super professional like other sites. ….which is kind of silly that such a concept can be grasped from the crew trying to do a masturbation joke.

The outtakes for this video consists of them trying to keep a straight face by doing a simple gag…yet they continually fail to do so for the longest time and it’s absolutely hilarious!  I cracked up for the longest time during this outtakes video and how they couldn’t stop laughing for a few seconds for a single take.  When Sam keeps a straight face, Chad ends up giggling and then vice versa happens. XD  This video was also produced during a time when the crew was trying to get ready for SGC and were in a bit of a time crunch yet they were so backlogged trying to take a single shoot for a 4 minute video.  ScrewAttack is so cool that they can manage to squeeze in a video or two for you in the midst of setting up an awesome convention! …and speaking of conventions…

 

SGC was so big that I probably could have taken at least six or so moments into this list, but I tried to limit myself to just a single one.  For instance, seeing the glorious Ganon cosplay costume win the competition was great, and the reveal of KI3 for the mystery game was also pretty intense.  However, I feel that I’ve chosen the one that I’m sure most of you would remember the most, and the one that most people probably attended the most.  That’s right!  Mario Party After Dark gets another spot on the list!

The Mario Party After Dark for SGC ’13 was going to be pretty big, and the line for it was absolutely insane—filled with people with shirts of red for Team ProJared (the best team, by the way *runs off*), green for Team Chad or Team Denver, purple for Team Sam Swag, and…uh…other shirts for the mystery guest since there wasn’t a color announced until the actual thing started.  Speaking of the mystery guest, I was guessing that it was going to be James Rolfe himself since they hyped it up a bunch and I thought it would be perfect—seeing how he drinks and cusses like a sailor (Make it happen!!).  However, Destin was the mystery guest…which actually makes a bit more sense since he has more history with the other people and they can lay down smack better.  This Mario Party after dark was insane, and the crew planned it incredibly well by having four rows of seats for the different teams. …I kind of feel bad for Destin though since his row of seats were practically not filled up.  Then again, he DID give Bowser a ton of his coins without thinking. *facepalms*

The whole game was incredibly epic with everyone cheering for their favorite teams and backstabbing amongst other players was commonplace.  The game was as heated as ever with them playing in Luigi’s F***room and there were only a mere two stars in the game—meaning that coins was the biggest factor of the game to win.  When Jared went up and said “This is the best Mario Party After Dark ever!” I felt that this was the best moment of the entire year.  Why? Well, during that moment, perhaps every g1 was watching this and felt the most excited for this competition with their hearts and cheering being out there…as if it was a sport I actually cared for.  Also, it was the highest moment of SGC and certainly the most memorable that I’m sure shall bring others back to the convention.  And, most importantly, it was the most FUN moment of the year—which is what ScrewAttack is ultimately about in the long run and bringing gamers together.  …who knew that masturbation jokes and people cussing each other out would make the top of the list?  Still not a porn site.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Thanks for reading!  Today's Ganon Award goes to g1 Canadian Brony for his list on how to wait for Pikmin 3! ...you know....for people like me who can't afford a Wii U yet?  I COMMAND YOU TO READ!  READING IS GOOD!  Except for the Scarlet Letter....that book sucks.