Earthrealm was in danger. The Outworld emperor Shao Kahn was one victory away from konquering the realm. To stop his armies, the Elder Gods set up the Mortal Kombat tournament to give Earth’s mightiest warriors a chance to defend their realm. And among the warriors was Johnny Cage...

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… Yeah…


BACKGROUND:

  • Real name: John Carlton.

  • Species: Human.

  • Fighting styles: Jeet Kune Do, Karate, Shorin Ryu.

  • Location of Birth: Venice, California.

  • Supposedly a former Power Rangers actor.

Surprisingly, Johnny was a rather powerful kombatant, using his martial arts to take down his foes. From the powerful blows of his Karate moves, to the fluidity of his Shorin Ryu tactics, Johnny was able to take down numerous foes, and survive many encounters. Eventually, he discovered that he was descended from an ancient Mediterranean cult that bred warriors for the gods. Using this power, Johnny enhances his attacks. It can also give him an aura of protection that can stop a powerful blow from the fallen Elder God Shinnok.


MOVESET:

  • Shadow kick

  • Plasma Bolt

  • Shadow Uppercut

  • Flip Kick

  • Spit Punch


Johnny has beaten some pretty big kontenders. He’s defeated Baraka, Reptile, and Kano. And it’s also worth noting that he didn’t get much time to recover between the last two fights. He’s also one of the only kombatants to have survived the, what I like to call, The Sindel and Shao Slaughter. Even after that, he’s still able to defeat Outworld invasions, and was even able to beat down Scorpion and Sub-Zero.


FEATS:

  • Defeated Scorpion and Sub-Zero.

  • Survived a beating from Cyrax.

  • Survived Shinnok’s fire attack without a scratch thanks to his powers.

  • Was able to avoid being impaled by the pit.

In addition to all of his powers, Johnny can also augment his powers based on what he’s wearing.


VARIATIONS:

  • A-List.

  • Stunt Double.

  • Fisticuffs.


When wearing black armbands, Johnny puts more focus into his attacks, letting him charge them up for increased damage, or can be used to trip up opponents who are thinking that they can get in an attack before Johnny can. Though, it doesn’t add anything else to his arsenal.


When wearing special sunglasses Johnny can manifest a ‘shadow clone’ of sorts. The ‘Shadow Clone’ can perform any of Johnny’s attacks, and let the actor keep his distance. It also causes his shadow ball to move in a straight line instead of an arc, for some reason.


Johnny can increase his punching attacks when wearing brass knuckles bearing his name. These allow Johnny to strike at his foes with punches that can go at blinding speeds, and can deliver a brutal combo of punches that can even punch off an opponent’s face.

And in order to ensure that his foe stays down, Johnny utilizes a deadly fatality.


FATALITIES:

  • Decap (Can somehow pop the head off three times)

  • Super Split Punch (... Wear a cup)

  • Torso Rip (Can be comboed with Decap)

  • Here’s Johnny (Splits an opponent’s torso in half)

  • Little Improv (Rapid beating of the head)


And for those of you curious about that decap thing. Well, considering that the force required to rip off a person’s head is about 12000 Newtons, Johnny must be capable of punching with a force of over 2,500 pounds of force.And when Johnny is in danger of being beaten, his usual green shadow is replaced with a red one. But this isn’t just for aesthetics, this ‘red shadow mode’ increases the damage output of Johnny’s attacks. And can even alter some of their effects.


WEAKNESSES:

  • Has lost to other fighters.

  • Got beaten by Jax twice.

  • Not stealthy in the slightest.


Despite his accomplishments, Johnny has his fair share of weaknesses. He’s lost to Cyrax, Jax, and a resurrected Hanzo, and he was brutally beaten to death by Motaro. However, Raiden messing with the timeline ensured his survival… For better or for worse. It’s worth noting that Johnny loses to foes when he is not employing lethal force, Baraka and Reptile notwithstanding. Despite him constantly saving Earthrealm, he also can’t land an acting job without being ridiculed. Even before he entered the tournament, his acting career was basically deader than Hsu Hao’s likability.


Even with these faults, Johnny has proven himself more than capable of handling his own… Just ask Goro what happened when he insulted the actor.


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Huh, Shokan do have Yam Sacks. Who knew?


POTENTIAL OPPONENTS:

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Both Vega and Johnny Cage are pretty vain, and generally annoy their allies. The only difference is that Johnny does it in good fun, while Vega does it because he’s Vega. Both are attracted to strong women (Sonya for Cage, Chun-Li and Cammy for Vega), and both have a rather… Unsportsmanlike tactics (Johnny with his nut punch, and Vega with his claws.) Point is, is that we need more sprite battles, not only to be reminded of how awesome some of them can be, but also to give Torian a break while he works on epic 3D battles.

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The two words most commonly associated with Johnny Cage are: Nut Punch. The two words that are most commonly associated with Stripperella are: Shameless Fanservice- I mean, Nut Punch. These two are notorious for hitting their foes in the groin, so… Why the hell not? Maybe so nobody has to wince every time they show a groin attack? … Eh, where’s the fun in that?

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Both of these heroes started out looking for fame, then went on to become great heroes. Both of them got canned for failures, and ended up in the right place at the right time. Both of them are sort of vain, but have hearts of gold… No pun intended. If this brings back uncomfortable memories of MKvsDC, it’s worth noting that neither of these characters were in it, so we don’t have to worry about it.