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    • Woodyman’s Backloggery #4 #5 #6 #7 – Mega Man X, X2, X3, & X4

      1 week ago

      Woodyman

      When I first undertook this backloggery idea, I had no idea what I was getting into. I made some crazy mistakes, that made this WAY more difficult than it needed to be.


      The BIGGEST mistake I made was putting a bunch of games in a series in a row on the backlog. Before I edited the backlog list, I was originally going to play ALL Halo games in a row, and ALL Final Fantasy games I own in a row.

       

      The Mega Man X series is the reason I changed my backlog. These are fun games, but playing them back to back drove me a bit insane.

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      That’s why I’m going to review all the Mega Man X games I played REAL QUICK!

       

      Review #4 – Mega Man X

      I forgotz to make an image.

      Going from the NES Mega Man games, to Mega Man X was a HUGE jump in quality. I love the NES games more just for nostalgia, but Mega Man X is the best in the series. Huge improvement to mobility, secrets, weapons and bosses. Also, the music in this first Mega Man X game is fucking amazing. I love this game!

       

      Review #5 – Mega Man X2

       


      Mega Man X2 improved Mega Man X graphically, musically, and with level design. Yet, somehow I don’t like this one as much as the original Mega Man X. It’s probably nostalgia, but there’s a charm in the original that Mega Man X2 just didn’t have for me. It’s still a great game.

       


      Review #6 – Mega Man X3

      Awesome game. Awesome Mega Man X game. My least favorite. Nothing stood out, I still don’t remember it, and I beat it twice.

      Review #7 – Mega Man X4

      This is going to ruffle some feathers, but Mega Man X4 is my second favorite in the series. It has the same charm as the first with fantastic level design, and also some of the best Robot Masters in the series (yes I’m calling them robot masters, I’m a Mega Man NES junkie). What I REALLY loved about this game is the ability to play as Mega Man X or Zero right from the beginning. Each level can be played with either character, and they require different strategies for each character. It’s very similar to the above games, and just as good.

       


    • Woodyman's Backloggery #2 - Capsized

      4 weeks ago

      Woodyman

      Last week I posed the question 'how do you review a game that you didn't like, but also isn't very memorable'? I got many answers but the one I liked the most was from @Alocidej. He said “quickly” So that's how I'm going to review today's game... very, very, quickly.


      Before I do, let me explain how this blog series works


      I have a TON of games I own but never beat, I want to play them all and review them.

      Now there are some RULES about my backlog.

      • Every game I own and never beat was placed into a random list maker.

      • I MUST beat the games in order decided by the random list maker.

      • I can only skip RPGs because they take a long time (but I must still beat them in order)

      • I can’t skip any other game.

      • If I buy another game, it gets put in a random place in the list.

      • If I get a new game I REALLY wanna play, I can make it next in the list.

      • Games in a series (ie Halo) were placed in order from first to last.

      • When a game is done, it will be reviewed.


      Now let's start this week's review.

      Review #2 – Capsized

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      Capsized is a 2D platformer made from a VERY small indie crew. It's about a crew of astronauts crash landing on an alien planet. The crew needs to explore the planet, repair their ship, fight, and escape. I'll start with the positives. For being such a small team, the design and game is very ambitious. Also the soundtrack is awesome.


      Now, let's look at the negatives of this game. Before writing this review, I was looking at reviews other people wrote and I saw something that really stuck with me. A Steam Review said “the level design works against you” and that is 100% true. The game has a series of levels each with an objective. The objective is either go there, kill that, or collect this. This is fine for the first few levels but then everything goes to shit. The level objectives begin to repeat, making the game monotonous and then the level just get longer and longer. Fuck you level 11. 

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      This is a keyboard and mouse game with the mouse used to aim and shoot. The controls are floaty and unintuitive. This makes precision jumping, and precision platforming infuriating. They give you a grapple beam and occasional jetpack to help alleviate the issue, but it doesn't help.

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      The WORST part of this game is the enemies. They're easy to defeat, but their placement is bullshit. A lot of times enemies appear off screen, and can take out half your health before you see them. Even though they're easy to kill, they also deal a ton of damage. They also blend into the background, fly all around, and swarm you. Fuck em!

      Once you beat the game you unlock some stuff, but who cares. This game is meh, and tedious, and sometimes infuriating. Mostly it's meh.

      Score: Meh out of Meh.


      Next game: Sly Cooper and the Thievius Raccooness


    • Woodyman's Backloggery #1 - Kirby: Planet Robobot

      1 month ago

      Woodyman

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      If you remember, many weeks ago I promised a new blog series called Woodyman's Backlog. This series sees me playing all games in my backlog in a random order and writing a quick review. The blog didn't even get to episode 1 before I hit a complication.


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      I KNEW that I didn't want to start writing when I couldn't play more games, and I KNEW I didn't want to skip around on my backlog list so instead I decided to wait until everything was fixed.


      Well now it is, so let's get started with the first review. Before I do, please keep in mind that these reviews are meant to be quick. I'm not going deep into the games and I'm not doing research, just some impressions and if I had fun.


      Review #1 – Kirby: Planet Robobot

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      I'm a HUGE fan of the Kirby series even though I haven't played many of the games. This is because the only Nintendo consoles I've ever owned was a NES and a Wii. I've played a bit of Super Star in my emulating days, and thought that was the best ever, but Kirby: Planet Robobot comes close.


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      I was a bit skeptical when I began this game. The main gimmick of this Kirby game is that Kirby gets to ride around in a mech. Since the Kirby series is all about the power-ups, I was worried that the mech would become a central focus instead of the power-ups. I was SOOOOOOOO happy to be wrong. Not only does Kirby: Planet Robobot have awesome new and returning power-ups (or inhale abilities if you want to call it that) like leaf, poison, ESP, sword, but also the mech can have it's own power-ups with its own move list. This addition to the Kirby formula has you mixing and matching power-ups that you've forgotten or dismissed. I've never been a huge fan of the Electricity power-up, but combined with the mech, I was an unstoppable lightning shooting machine of death... and I loved every minute of it.


      1fTCysU.png


      The game itself is your typical Kirby fare. The goal is to get from the beginning of the stage to the end. You can collect secrets and unlock secret paths along the way, but the ultimate goal is to get through each level, to complete each world, to fight some bosses. Speaking of the bosses, this game has some AWESOME ones! There's a mechanized Whispy Woods, a Mecha Knight, some Dedede clones, and the craziest end boss in a Nintendo game that I have ever seen. If you beat this game, you know what I'm talking about.

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      The game can get a teeny tiny bit repetitive towards the middle, but overall it's a a ton of fun and I'm glad I played it. Even now that I beat it, there's plenty to do with collecting all the bits, and new game modes to play through. If you like Kirby, you'll like this one too.


      Kirby: Planet Robobot gets a score of 11 out of 11.... or something.





      Next game: Capsized (Steam)

    • Woodyman's Backloggery: Introduction

      2 months ago

      Woodyman

      WLfnbGS.jpg

      It's been a long time coming, but now I am back!


      As some of you may know, over a year ago I retired from blogging. It was eating too much into my real job, social life, and especially into my gaming. I felt like I was writing more about games than playing games.


      Nevertheless, I decided to return with a brand new series...


      Woodyman's Backloggery!


      In my years of gaming there are many games that I purchased and never beat. In fact as of writing this introduction there are 286 games on handheld, console, and PC. I decided I wanted to play them all, and do quick reviews of them all. That's where this blog comes in.

      Now there are some RULES about my backlog.

      • Every game I own and never beat was placed into a random list maker.

      • I MUST beat the games in order decided by the random list maker.

      • I can only skip RPGs because they take a long time (but I must still beat them in order)

      • I can't skip any other game.

      • If I buy another game, it gets put in a random place in the list.

      • If I get a new game I REALLY wanna play, I can make it next in the list.

      • Games in a series (ie Halo) were placed in order from first to last.


      I think that's it.


      I'm currently creating a backlog on backloggery.com, but until then.... here are all the games on my backlog as of today!

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      That means the first review is Kirby: Planet Robobot!


      Stay tuned next Sunday for the blog!

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    • Rosetta Sam: Vol. 2

      1 year ago

      Woodyman

      Welcome g1s to the second edition of Rosetta Sam. Rosetta Sam is YOUR comprehensive guide to learning how to speak just like Sam, or just understand him. I am no expert in the language of Sam, as I do not have the necessary amount of swag, but I can at least assist you to understand this linguistics genius.

       

      Mario Party 2 After Dark

      I'll watch you jingle your ass to hell... heavy-pocketed bitch.”

      • The coins jingling in your pocket leads me to deduce you have a vast amount of wealth. I will see to your downfall.

       

      Fucking dinosaurs don't know nothing about communism man.”

      • As dinosaurs were not alive during the reign of Communism, they are not privy to the social and political constructs of that particular ideology.

       

      Fucking... refracted light and shit.”

      • Fucking rainbows.

       

      Jrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrd”

      • Jared

       

      Structure your insults kid.”

      • If you have the testicular fortitude to insult me, make sure your grammar, syntax, and semantics are on par with mine, you ignorant whippersnapper.

       

      Mario Party 3 After Dark

      If your ego is large enough to reach your mouth, you'd do it too.”

      • This is a metaphor comparing your ego, to your dick... and the truth that all men want to auto-fellate themselves.

       

      I've been lucky charming all over the place.”

      • I've just used the lucky charm item in Mario Party 3 to make Jared lose all of his wealth. Fuck the 1%.

       

      Mario Party 4 After Dark

      Fucking Sared up in this bitch, winning all this shit.”

      • While we may check our friendship at the door, my temporary alliance with Jared has led to my victory.

       

      I love Woodyman.”

      • I love Woodyman

       

      TODAY THIS FRIDAY I PLAY MARIO PARTY AFTER DARK WITH A BUNCH OF ANTSY-SALLYS.”

      • I'm playing Mario Party with some people who are quite impatient.

       

      We're like the only two urrrban people...”

      • I'm surrounded by honkeys.

       

      Purpell”

      • Purple

       

      Mario Party 5 After Dark

      Bitch, bitch, moan, let's gamble.”

      • My dearest friend Chad, has a tendency to complain when playing Mario Party, then he spends his hard earned coins on games of chance.

       

      Your friendship is ova there, at the door.”

      • Bryan, you are too kind to play Mario Party After Dark. You relationships with your friends do not exist here.

       

      Sam? How Much is Shirt? - Deal of the Week

      Buy mah shirts, cause I need ta buy my puppeh new Christmas presents. Look at him he's adorable and needs a squeaky toy!”

      • As the director of merchandise for ScrewAttack, the well-being of my newly acquired dog depends on your willingness to purchase an article of clothing. Please, purchase a shirt so that my cute dog can enjoy a toy.

       

      Post-SGC Disorder | The Clip | ScrewAttack!

      You see my win? I win dat Mario Party! That's right. You drink? You wanna drink wit me? FUCK YOU! Learn to drink.”

      • I won Mario Party at SGC. Did you see that!? My victory deserves a celebration with alcoholic beverages. Partake with me!

       

      Donkey Kong Country - Throwback Thursday (Sam & Shaun)

      That was the one that mashed your butt so much.”

      • That jump is quite difficult.

       

      Jizump 'im”

      • Jump over him.

       

      Keep shi' cool, he's comin aroun”

      • Calm your tits, there is a crocodile coming.

       

      (I actually have no idea what Sam is saying at THIS timestamp. I do not believe any of the sounds he is uttering can be effectively put down on paper. I can however translate it.)

      • Watch out for crocodiles... the Riverman is telling you where to go... or something.

       

      Having Shit

      Because havin shit that other muthafuckas don't have, makes you feel better about yourself.”

      • CAPITALISM!

       

      Drunk Sam & SNES Multiplayer Games | Screwin' Around | ScrewAttack!

      I'm like the biggest proponent of drinking and driving in the world.”

      • I'm like the biggest opponent of drinking and driving in the world.

       

      How far ahead of you or me?”

      • How much further in the Mario Kart course is Nick, than me?

       

      Beivergoo

      • Ben is very good.

       

      I'm the Freudian Phallus, get ova hyuh!”

      • The Blob in Clayfighter looks like a giant dick!

       

      I am the watah, I AM IT!”

      • Water shapes its course according to the nature of the ground over which it flows; the soldier works out his victory in relation to the foe whom he is facing.

       

      With this blog, you are now proficient enough in Sam to do your own translation blogs. Go out into the world and create your own Rosetta Sam blogs.

    • Woodyman's Pokemon Flora Sky Nuzlocke - Ep. 9: Is it Desert or Dessert?

      2 years ago

      Woodyman

      In the last episode of Woodyman's Pokemon Flora Sky Nuzlocke we reached a dead end and had to backtrack all the way to the desert. Check it out here... Ep 8.

       

       

      Episode 9:  Is it Desert or Dessert?

      Before I get to the desert, I wanna share something...

       

       

      This Pokemon looks a LOT like a Fakemon from my previous Nuzlocke!

       

       

      See!?!?

       

       

      Someone remind me of this when I actually reach the route... I'm going to forget.

       

       

      Okay... now I'm on my way back to the sandy hell.

       

       

      First lemme send Smoke in to destroy EVERYBODY.

       

       

      Doesn't Nosepass' evolved form look like an older Amish or Hasidic Jewish man?

       

       

      Nevertheless... I won. Back to traveling.

       

      Whoooops! Guess I'm not catching anything in the desert. -_-

       

       

      Note to self...

       

       

      AVOID DOUBLE BATTLES IN A NUZLOCKE

       

       

      Okay... this isn't too bad.

       

       

      YAY! No one lost yet.

       

       

      Let's keep getting the hell outta this stupid desert.

       

       

      This part is really boring...

       

       

      ...and it's super dumb.

       

       

      Because I don't have Flash anymore and I can't see where the hell I am going!!!

       

       

      But in good news... I CAUGHT A BRONZOR!!!

       

       

      I never had a Bronzor... looking at it I THINK it's steel/psychic but I hafta double check.

       

       

      I was right!!! Welcome to the team BLAKMANIAC!

       

       

      Wow... this thing is a defensive powerhouse. I ALWAYS like having those on my team. I think Bronzor is gonna be pretty OP!

       

       

      Also in this boring part, I got a Red Shard.

       

       

      Let's continue!

       

       

      For a REALLY cool designed temple... it was quite frustrating and boring. That's unfortunate.

       

       

      Okay, I made it outta the temples and the desert. Time for heal up and continue.

       

       

      I don't... and your battle was so boring I didn't take any screenshots.

       

       

      New route... new Pokemon... but there are also A LOT of trainers here that I want to avoid... ummm.... PLEASE DON'T SEE ME UNTIL I CAN GET TO A CENTER!

       

       

      Okay... managed to avoid those two.

       

       

      I got stuck in a battle.... oh no, ZIMPHF RETURN!

       

       

      Good job Smoke, just brace the hit.

       

       

      WHAT THE HELL IS FRENZY PLANT AND HOW DID IT KILL!?

       

       

      NOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!! SMOOOOKKKEEE!!!!!!!! WWWWWHHHHHHYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!????????????

       

       

      Good job Retz... :(

       

       

      Well I finally made it to the town...

       

       

      Smoke.... I thought you were going to stay the entire time or carry the team like the last Nuzlocke... unfortunately, you were killed by a dumb egg plant tree thing.

       

       

      Bye-bye!

       

       

      I'm not feeling super confident in this team. Zimphf is practically useless and weak (no offense), ChuckZ is okay but needs leveling, and Blakmaniac doesn't know any moves that do damage. My best Pokemon is Bibarel.... this is sad.

       

       

      Before I explore the town, I decided to go back to Route P and try and catch a new friend.

       

       

      I already had a Nidoran so, gonna hafta find something else.

       

       

      I don't know what this is, but it looks REALLY cool. I WANT IT!

       

       

      I sent out Zimphf because I know Zimphf couldn't kill it...

       

       

      An oozy sea slug!? IT'S SOOOOO CUTE!!!

       

       

      Welcome to the team Clayvman the Shellos!

       

       

      Not too shabby, gonna need to do some leveling up though.

       

       

      I'm back in town and this man's name is April... I find that funny.

       

       

      Rocks, rocks, and more rocks... I guess I can't go this way yet.

       

       

      I can't get by here until I get Strength. So I'll hafta find another way... in the next episode... FRIDAY!

       

      Also since I'm behind on posting these, I'm gonna do three per week. (Monday, Wednesday, Friday) from now on!

       

       

       

    • Top 10 Most 90s Games of the 1990s

      2 years ago

      Woodyman

      You know what’s really fun? Redoing a list after getting about 75% done! That’s what happened to this list and that’s why it’s a week late. Honestly, I was about ready to give up and repost an old list from ScrewAttack, but I decided to redo it anyway.

      Why?

      Because I’m a sadist

      Actually it’s because this list was fan suggested by Andrew Livingston and I owe it to him and all of you to get it done. This list is the top 10 most stereotypical 90s games of the 1990s. What does that mean? Well these games are games that embody the 1990s and were released between 1990 and 1999. The only other stipulation is that these games have to be original concepts… not based off TV shows, toys, movies, or other products because that would be too easy.

       

      10.) Rollerblade Racer

      One thing you’ll notice about games of the 90s is that they often focus on different modes of transportation. This includes but is not limited to skateboards, scooters, and of course……. rollerblades.

      Rollerblade Racer is a game about exactly what it sounds like. This is 90s enough, but the cover of the game brings it to one of the most 90s games of the 1990s. Just look at that image above… bright colors, crazy clothes, pink and blue juxtaposed, and of course the word radical.

       

      9.) Skitchin’

      In this game you play as a rollerblader who is racing other rollerbladers. Everyone is wearing bright colors.

      In order to speed up in this game you need to hold on to various vehicles as they drive down the road. This is called Skitchen’. The game is similar to Road Rash in that you race on various courses and purchase upgrades.

      The game advertised itself as “Skatin’, Hitchin’, Bitchin’, Skitchin'”.

      Also check out that boxart.

       

      8.) Radical Rex

      Oh… the 90s are strong in this one.

      It’s about a skateboarding and fire-breathing T-Rex on a quest to save his girlfriend, Rexanne, from an evil sorcerer. Yup we’re going with skateboards, puns, dinosaurs, and radical right away.

      This game pretty much combines everything above in a mediocre game. That’s why it’s not any higher on this list.

       

      7.) Haunting Starring Polterguy

      One major fashion sense of the 1990s is a white t-shirt, jeans, and a leather jacket. You’ll probably see this fashion sense multiple times on this list. Polterguy is our first example of this trend.

      In this game Polterguy is a punk teenager who was killed in a tragic skateboarding accident. He haunts the family of the man who designed the faulty skateboard in an effort to return to the land of the living.

       

      6.) Kid Chameleon

      Kid Chameleon exemplifies two trends in the 1990s. He has the jeans, white t-shirt, and leather jacket fashion sense… and he’s trapped in a virtual world.

      This was a big part of all 90’s media and media in general. In Kid Chameleon a boy named Casey aka Kid Chameleon is trying to beat a virtual reality video game to free all the other gamers trapped in the game.

      In the game, Kid has the power to transform into different warriors to stop the out of control AI and its minions.

      Also check out this badass 90s video game intro.

       

      5.) Awesome Possum… Kicks Dr. Machino’s Butt

      Awesome Possum was a game that tried to cash in on many fads of the 1990s but failed miserably. The game was about a Possum who’s trying to stop the evil Dr. Machino.

      As mentioned before this game features many staples of the 1990s. Awesome Possum first tries to cash in on the mascot craze like Mario and Sonic, then it includes an environmental friendly message, then it includes mild swearing with the “kicks butt” line, and finally it describes itself as awesome.

      This game is anything but awesome, but it is 90s as hell.

       

      4.) Boogerman: A Pick and Flick Adventure

      As we’ve seen from the previous entry, being slightly risque was a big trend in the 90s. This included mild swearing, some gore, but most of all… gross out humor.

      This is where Boogerman comes in. Boogerman was a gross superhero. He used his boogers as weapons and burped and farted his way through various sewer/toilet themed levels.

      In addition, this game had dirty puns! Dimension X-Crement, Professor Stinkbaum, Snotty Ragsdale, and so much more.

      In this game… you can fly-fart.

       

      3.) Greendog: The Beached Surfer Dude

      Greendog was another failed mascot attempt by Sega. It’s a good thing Sonic took off otherwise Sega would be screwed.

      He is a 90s surfer dude. He only cares about surfing. He has a gyrocopter, inline skates, a skateboard, and an antique Frisbee (whatever the hell that is). He only says “dude” and “cool”. He’s sent on a quest to collect ancient Aztec artifacts which are actually just pieces of an ancient flying surfboard.

      Just like Kid Chameleon and other 90s games… apparently all this game takes place in a fictional world.

       

      2.) Parappa the Rapper


      He’s a beanie wearing dog who raps about everyday life… like pooping, driving, and selling stuff at a flea market. Yup… it’s Parappa the Rapper.

      I don’t really know what’s so 90s about this game. It could be the simple paper cut out style, the odd graphical design or fashion sense, or the absolutely terribly cheesy raps… but this is another game that’s 90s as hell.

      In this game Parappa is on a quest to impress a girl by learning Chinese, crashing his dad’s car, cooking, and having an epic rap party on stage.

       

      1.) Toejam and Earl

      If you want a game that symbolizes everything the 90s has to offer, Toejam and Earl is it. Almost everything I mentioned above is in this game.

      If you don’t already know Toejam and Earl is a series of games starring two rad aliens. These games have the rapping and fashion sense of Parappa the Rapper with Toejam rocking a Flava Flav chain and sick kicks, while Earl had brightly colored shorts and sunglasses. This game has the transportation of the 90s with Toejam and Earl both rolling around on rollerblades. The alien duo speaks in California slang that dates the game badly. Finally the game features a funky urban jazz soundtrack.

      In addition to being a game that represents the 90s, it also parodies the decade. In both the first and especially the second game human culture and the 90s if heavily made fun of. This game isn’t just a product of the 90s…. it is the 90s.

       

      You can help bring it back by supporting the Toejam and Earl Kickstarter.

    • Top 10 Kart Racing Games (That Are Not Mario Kart)

      2 years ago

      Woodyman

      The problem with counting down the very best kart racing games is that the gems are hidden in a sea of mediocrity. There are some terrible kart racers, some great kart racers, and a ton of meh.

       

       

      After the success of Mario Kart on the SNES, everyone and their mother had a kart racing game. The Muppets had one (which just missed being on this list), and so did several other franchises/characters like South Park, Woody Woodpecker, Bomberman, Toy Story, Chocobo, Chuck E Cheese, Digimon, Lego, Star Wars, Sonic, Shrek, MySims, Mickey, Mole, Cartoon Network, Nicktoons, and even M&Ms!

      Finding the best out of all these games was tough, but if you’re looking for a kart racer that isn’t Mario Kart, I recommend the following ten.

       

      10.) Mega Man Battle and Chase

      The first two entries on this list might be different for you. I picked them based on being decent kart racing games based on a game or franchise that I enjoy. If you like Toy Story or Cartoon Network more, you might want to pick those up.

      Mega Man Battle and Chase was never released in North America. Sony denied it because there were already too many kart racing games… imagine that! It was released in Japan and Europe and is unlockable on the PS2 Mega Man X Collection.

      It’s a pretty standard kart racing game except that each character has specific attacks and is also able to acquire the kart parts/weapons of defeated rivals. Still fun for any Mega Man fan.

       

      9.) Wacky Races Starring Dastardly and Muttley

      Before I continue, I just want to say that the NES version of Wacky Races is one of my favorite NES games ever made.

      I also loved the cartoon, which is why Wacky Races for the PS2 makes this list. The game features nearly all characters from the show and a lot of the show’s atmosphere. There’s an announcer, weapons, crazy tracks, and just a ton of fun.

      This game beats out Battle and Chase, because it just is a better kart racing game. The controls are tighter there are vehicle types, battle mode, boss fights, solo adventure, co-op, and a ton more. It’s a great game alone, but even better with friends.

       

       

      8.) Looney Tunes: Space Race

      If you want a sense of speed with your kart racer, then Looney Tunes: Space Race is the game for you… Mainly because you race on rockets.

      In this Looney Tunes: racer you can play as Bugs, Daffy, Wile, Sylvester, Elmer, Yosemite, Marvin, or Porky… but I’m pissed you don’t get to play as my favorite member of the Looney Tunes, Taz!

      It’s a game with tight controls, great voice acting, and just tons of fun.

       

      7.) Street Racer

      Street Racer for the SNES is very similar to Mario Kart on the SNES. Both took advantage of the Mode 7 graphics engine of the SNES, but Street Racer did it better.

      Don’t get me wrong, Mario Kart SNES is the superior game overall but for smooth Mode 7 graphics and a sense of speed, Street Racer wins.

      Besides that it’s just a fun kart racing game with various cups to compete in, zany characters, weapons, tracks, and “Rumble” and “Soccer” modes that will eat up your day.

       

      6.) Whacky Wheels

      Whacky Wheels is as close to a Mario Kart clone as you can get. The creators say they were “inspired” by Mario Kart on the SNES and wanted to bring a similar experience to home computers.

      By “similar experience” they meant almost exact clone. The game plays just like the SNES Mario Kart, but instead you play as a zoo animal.

      It’s not a bad clone, in fact it’s a fantastic one with fun racing and a battle mode.

       

      5.) Konami Krazy Racers

      It’s tough to find a great kart racing game on a handheld. It’s even tougher finding one that isn’t Mario Kart. Luckily, Konami Krazy Racers is a FANTASTIC kart racer for the Gameboy Advance.

      The game is very similar to Mario Kart on the SNES but better graphically, musically, and gameplay-wise. Plus it’s for a handheld!

      You control one of several Konami characters like Gray Fox, Vic Viper, Goemon, Takosuke, Dracula, and more through interesting tracks and with fun weapons.

       

      4.) Kirby Air Ride

      I’ve been back and forth constantly debating if Kirby Air Ride for the Gamecube is a kart racing game. You are on a star rather than a kart, and the star is self-propelled. Nevertheless, I think it counts.

      Kirby Air Ride has three modes. The first is Air Ride and is your basic racing game with weapons and powerups. The second is Top Ride and it’s similar to Air Ride but with a top-down view and simple tracks.

      The game’s best mode is City Trial. In this mode you drive around a city collecting powerups that can increase your vehicles speed, defense, jump, and much more. In the city you can find different vehicles, create legendary vehicles, and deal with random events. At the end of a certain amount of time, you compete with your friends with your powered up vehicles.

       

      3.) Jak X: Combat Racing

      Jak X is another game I wasn’t sure was a kart racer or not. Wikipedia describes it as vehicular combat, similar to Twisted Metal but there’s definitely a racing element to this game… so it counts.

      The game takes place after the third game. A series of characters from the games are tricked into a racing tournament by accidentally drinking poison from Krew. The only way they can get an antidote is by winning the race.

      The best part of this game is the gameplay. Vehicles have been a big part of the Jak series especially in the second and third game. In Jak X the tight vehicle controls, and customization make this game a ton of fun.

       

      2.) Diddy Kong Racing

      In a world of Mario Kart clones, Diddy Kong Racing is the favorite of a lot of people… it’s just not my favorite.

      Many people love Diddy Kong Racing for all the variety it offers. Diddy Kong Racing has a bunch of different ways to play. First off you can race either a plane, kart, or hovercraft with the last being the worst. Not to mention exhibition races, battle, and a BELOVED adventure mode with fun challenges and boss fights.

      People praise the game for many reasons I can’t get into here, but it is a fantastic game.

       

      1.) Crash Team Racing

      Everything Diddy Kong Racing did, Crash Team Racing did better. While Crash Team Racing doesn’t have hovercrafts and planes, it focused on fun/tight kart gameplay.

      In Crash Team Racing there’s an adventure mode, arcade mode, vs mode, and battle mode. The adventure mode was the standout option with gems, tokens, and keys you need to collect by completing various objectives and by beating bosses… yes this game has bosses too such as Ripper Roo and Papu Papu.

      This game is the best kart racing game of all time. The levels are all unique and dynamic, the characters are different, and the items/weapons are fun. My biggest complaint about Diddy Kong Racing is the items, so Crash Team Racing fixes that with various offensive and defensive items that you can SUPAH-CHARGE by collecting 10 wumpa fruit.

    • Woodyman's Pokemon Flora Sky Nuzlocke - Ep. 10: Recovering

      2 years ago

      Woodyman

      In the last episode of Woodyman's Pokemon Flora Sky Nuzlocke we reached ANOTHER damn dead end, and we lost Smoke... Check it out here... Ep 9.

       

       

      Episode 10: Recovering

       

      Well since I got stuck, I decided to backtrack and fight these trainers to level up.

       

       

      Okay? What does that have to do with me.

       

       

      He looks like Ash!!

       

       

      So I've come to the conclusion that these trainers are all athletes... training on a mountain in the rain.

       

       

      Either way they're not too tough.

       

       

      I may have been mistaken!!!

       

       

      Nevermind! Beat em all, now I'm backtracking leftward. I REALLY need someone watching this to remind me to go back to all these places I forgot about.

       

       

      I'm fighting against this weird interviewing lady and her cameraman.

       

       

      Am I on drugs?

       

       

      Shut up baby. I know it!

       

       

      Is it a little bit sad that EVERYTHING in this world revolves around Pokemon. Do the people care about anything else? GET A LIFE LOSERS!!!

       

       

      There's my interview.

       

       

      Yup.

       

       

      Okay! Team of five isn't too bad.

       

       

      Okay! I think I finally got to a place where I'm supposed to go... NEW ROUTE BABY!!!

       

       

      … no.

       

       

      Why ask if I don't get a choice? Also 6 Pokemon??? JEESUS!

       

       

      Yes I will.... because I care deeply about YOUR training.

       

       

      Time to catch a POKEMON!!!

       

       

      Wow... I really don't think I ever had a Rhyhorn before. I think they're steel type... maybe Steel/rock or steel/ground?

       

       

      Sweet! Welcome to the team!!!

       

       

      Wow... this game doesn't pull its punches. RHYHORNS ARE FUCKING DUMB!

       

       

      Welcome to the team Katawolf!

       

       

      Oh... rock/ground. I was wrong.

       

       

      That power was destroyed...

       

       

      Hmmm.... that seems like ANOTHER place to catch Pokemon! Hell yeah!

       

       

      Come on anything but a Zubat!!!

       

       

      That'll do cave... that'll do... also Sandslash is one of my Top 10 Gen 1 Pokemon of all time!!!

       

       

      Retz almost killed it, but we did it.

       

       

      Welcome to the team Ubertrance...

       

       

      Oh no....... Wally.... we'll figure out what's going on over here in the next episode... Monday!

       

       

       

    • Top 10 Retro Platformer Remakes

      2 years ago

      Woodyman

      So… I had a huge virus on my computer that destroyed all my pictures, files, documents, and so much more. Therefore, my planned list of the best explosives experts had to be delayed.

      Instead I took a quick Twitter poll for suggestions for a quick list I could write in just one weekend. The winner was the top 10 retro remakes. These are the games that are remakes of old retro games. This might be breaking the “retro rule” of this site, but the line is blurry… so let’s do it anyway.

      Also because there are SO many remakes/reboots I decided to only count platformers for this list.

       

       

      10.) Castlevania: The Adventure ReBirth

      This game has quite a history. It’s part of the ReBirth series on the Wii which also features Contra ReBirth (which is at an honorary spot on this list), and Gradius ReBirth. The game itself is a remake of Castlevania: Adventure for the Gameboy and it follows Christopher Belmont who is an ancestor of Simon Belmont from the original NES game.

      Like all Castlevania games, this one is very unforgiving. Unfortunately it also doesn’t add anything to the Castlevania formula. A good game, but just an average Castlevania game.

       

      9.) Blaster Master: Overdrive

      Blaster Master is one of my favorite games on the NES. The original game follows Jason as he dives down a hole searching for his pet frog. He instead finds a tank named S.O.P.H.I.A. that is used to hunt down radioactive mutants.

      The remake on the Nintendo Wii follows Alex as he battles mutated radioactive animals on Earth with the help of S.O.P.H.I.A. Once again. This reboot is pretty faithful to the original while improving a few things. The original game is easy to get lost without a walkthrough but the wiimake helps alleviate that.

      Unfortunately the game is lacking in two major aspects. First of all the controls, especially the controls in some of the top-down parts are absolutely atrocious. Secondly, the game is just lacking the charm of the original.

       

      8.) Castle of Illusion

      Castle of Illusion is a PSN and XBLA remake of the original Sega Genesis game.

      The plot of this game is very simple. Mickey must traverse the Castle of Illusion to save Minnie from an evil Witch that wants to steal her beauty. Common video game plot 101.

      The reason this game isn’t any higher on this list is that the remake is just so meh. The original game had terrific levels, controls, animation, music, and so much more. The remake didn’t add anything… but instead took away the good controls and fluid response.

       

      7.) Rocket Knight

      This game is not a remake but is instead technically a sequel of the original Sparkster series on the SNES and Sega Genesis.

      Rocket Knight is about an opossum with a jetpack strapped to his back and sword in his paw. The new game on PSN and XBLA is no different. In this sequel, Rocket Knight is facing off against an army of pigs, wolves, and his nemesis, Axel Gear.

      The game is quite fun and an honorable recreation of the original series. Game reviewers often criticized it for a high price point, but nowadays you can get it for real low cheap. One of the only other complaints is the mismatched difficulty. You can breeze through one section, get demolished by the next, then breeze through it again. Fans of the original series, don’t miss this game.

       

      6.) Strider

      What’s better than a ninja?

      A damn cyber ninja with robo-animals at his command!

      Strider for PC, PSN, and XBLA isn’t exactly a remake of the original Genesis game. Instead its basically a juxtaposition of all Striders from the manga to the older games, all in one game.

      I’m conflicted about this game, which is probably why it’s not any higher on this list. On one hand I adore this game for the excellent combat, the updated graphics, the bosses, and especially the sense of exploration.

      Then again, I really dislike the music and sound n this game compared to the amazing soundtrack of the original game. I also dislike the way Strider controls. I know I’m in a huge minority here, as everyone loves this Strider remake…. to me, it’s just okay.

       

      5.) Kirby Super Star Ultra/Super Mario All-Stars + Super Mario World

      So I decided to couple these two games together since they’re similar in design.

      Kirby Super Star Ultra for the Nintendo DS is a rare compilation remake. The game is an enhanced remake of Kirby Super Star for the SNES.

      The original Kirby Super Star is a fantastic game. It’s a compilation of mini-games and other Kirby-related games. The DS remake is the same as the SNES game but with superior graphics, music, FMV cutscenes, and even more games.

      Who doesn’t know about the Mario All Stars Pack? It was a SNES compilation of every NES/Famicom Super Mario Bros game. The pack included Super Mario Bros 1-3, and the Japanese version of Super Mario Bros 2 known as the Lost Levels. This pack was later rereleased to include all those games plus Super Mario World.

      All these games had updated graphics, music, and mid-game saving. It was a great deal and a ton of fun.

       

      4.) DuckTales: Remastered

      I’m a huge fan of the original DuckTales game on the NES. It’s why I traded Retro Rob from The Retro Hunters my copy of General Chaos on the Genesis for his copy of this game. That’s why I really enjoyed DuckTales: Remastered.

      The game was remade for Wii U, PSN, XBLA, and pretty much everywhere and it’s a great love letter to the original game and the cartoon. The music by Jake Kaufman is especially appealing as the soundtrack consists of updated NES tunes. The game is a nostalgic trip back in time… but it’s not perfect.

      The cutscenes in the game and it’s “story” are annoying to skip and ruin the flow of the game. They’re almost enough to ruin the fun sometimes as you play a bit watch a cutscene, then another, then play, then cutscene. Maybe you’ll get uninterrupted play time, but it’s not likely.

       

      3.) Bionic Commando Rearmed

      When I first started this list, this game was closer to the number 10 spot. Then I remembered how awesome the Bionic Commando remakes are.

      The original Bionic Commando for the NES was a hidden gem. In it you controlled a groovy looking commando who didn’t have the ability to jump, but instead had an epic grappling hook that could help him traverse the area, attack enemies, and get barrels.

      The remakes for PC, XBLA, PSN, and more do everything a proper remake should. It left the nostalgia of the original, but added so much more. Of course there’s better graphics and music, but the remake also gives you local multiplayer to team up with a friend and grapple and swing all over the place.

      The best thing the about the remake is that is had a sequel with more powers, more levels, more music, tight controls, and just a ton of fun.

       

      2.) Metroid: Zero Mission

      This is what a remake or an enhanced copy is supposed to do. It’s supposed to stay true to the original charm of the source material, but it’s supposed to improve previous faults with the original game.

      Metroid: Zero Mission is an enhanced remake of the original NES Metroid game. It was released for the GBA and did so much right. While the original Metroid game was fun, it was also frustrating. There was a clear lack of direction and unfair difficulty when just trying to explore.

      Zero Mission fixed that by streamlining the entire game. You can play through the game in a linear fashion and not get lost, or sequence break the whole thing. Besides that the game featured upgraded graphics that make the game resemble Metroid: Fusion or Super Metroid and better graphics. There are new enemies, more powerups, more areas, and it features the original game in it.

      The best thing this game added was a section where you play as a weakened Zero Suit Samus, sneaking around with only a stun pistol and your quick reflexes.

       

      1.) A Boy and His Blob

      This fantastic game for the Wii is a remake of the NES original, A Boy and His Blob: Trouble on Blobolonia. The game is a puzzle platformer and my favorite remake.

      This game takes everything about the original and makes it perfect. The NES game had a confusing layout and was unforgiving. If you made a simple mistake you wound up lost, dead, or unable to beat the game. It was some of the charm, but was also highly annoying. This wiimake is forgiving. That’s not to say the game isn’t tough. It holds your hand for the first few levels but ramps up in difficulty with precise jellybeaning. Not to mention the bonus rooms can be a truly difficult yet rewarding experience.

      The game isn’t perfect with somewhat annoying controls at times, and also occasionally Blob will do whatever the hell he wants, but it makes up for it in charm.

      The game has outstanding graphics and music that turn this from a game to a work of art. It’s serene and calm when it needs to be and hellishly tense when it needs to be. The game is just charming with cute enemies, protagonists, and an adorable tone overall.

      Plus you can hug Blob!

      YOU CAN HUG HIM!

  • About Me

    g1 of the Year 2011

    Creator of g1 Spotlight, Literary Luminary, Titanium Man of Flash Gaming, Cartoon Collab (name pending), and a new g1 run WTF Is That?

    Writer of awesome Top 10s, Reviews, and Video Game Poetry

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