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    • Darkhyrulelord Conquers: BATMAN: ARKHAM KNIGHT

      1 year ago

      darkhyrulelord

      MWAHAHAHAHAAA!!!

      Welcome back to another long overdue entry from the pig demon himself!  I certainly know that it’s been a while since my last blog entry and even longer with my last review, I think it’s high time that we plug in another conquering for a game, right?

      Well, one of the main reasons why I haven’t done a review in so long is due to how long many of the games take these days.  In order to get everything and get all of the achievements or do-dads or whatnot, it’s going to be quite the long haul.  It also doesn’t help that other new games come along as distractions when I was working on a previous game.  For instance, I’ve been trying for the longest time to do a conquering on Hyrule Warriors, but the amount of grinding it takes to do so for the DLC is absolutely insane (I’m talking around the 600 hour range), so I’m making do with a much, much shorter game this time around.  Which is really really sad since this game took around 60 hours or so to complete.

      But alas! After finding a random assortment of Riddler Trophies, doing donuts in the Batmobile, and playing overpriced Batgirl DLC, I have finally conquered this game and fulfilled my testament as the true Dark Knight!  Allow me to indulge on the experience on what it takes to be the bat! And, perhaps more importantly, if you are the hero that Gotham deserves and needs.

      Also, note that I am review the PS4 VERSION. Additionally, I will try to keep spoilers to a minimum, but massive spoilers in particular are the only ones I will warn you about.

      THE GIST

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      Batman: Arkham Knight is mostly a 3rd Person action adventure game that is the finale to the Arkham series trilogy. Or rather…the Rocksteady trilogy I guess, the company that mostly helped to produce this game since there was also the underrated Arkham Origins game and (probably poor) Arkham Blackgate game.  Right now the game is $60 by itself, and playable on PS4 and X-Box One (I would say PC but…welllllll it got taken off the Steam store for numerous bugs and crashes), but I’m sure you could find a good discount somewhere if you looked hard enough with a bundle or so.  The game is also littered with DLC and a $40 season pass where you can get 6 months of content that will be released in the future….supposedly.

      As of now, I believe that there are 4 DLC packs out for grabs. Regarding the season pass, I think that the only thing that you can get out of it for ‘free’ as of now is the Batgirl DLC, normally priced at $7. The other DLC packs are a bit more convoluted to get. There’s the Red Hood DLC story pack that you obtain from your receipt when you preorder the game, and the Harley Quinn DLC story pack that you get in the game box if you get the game new.  As if that wasn’t enough…there’s also Scarecrow Nightmare DLC missions that you also obtain in the box if you get the game new, but it’s a PS4 ‘exclusive’, meaning that I’m pretty sure you’ll see it on other versions soon if it hasn’t already.  You also get Justice League 3000 skins and Adam West Batman skins for getting the PS4 game new that are probably also ‘exclusives’, and this Anime Batman skin that you get if you join WB Play group or whatnot.  There’s also a buttload of other skins that are free or come with the game new for Robin and the Batmobile or others that I’m probably forgetting.  Long story short, there’s a ludicrous amount of DLC for this game.

      The story for the main Batman portion of the game consists after the events of Arkham City about a year or so. Nothing really happens until Scarecrow puts his plan into effect by teaming up with all of the supervillains in the city and forcing an evacuation of the place by threatening to release a bunch of rather disastrous delicious fear toxin all over the city.  Apparently the entire game miraculously happens all in one night, and it’s up to Gotham’s only hope to put a stop to all of the murderers, thieves, mobsters, and terrorists that plague the city.  However, with the rather mysterious Arkham Knight with a small army in tow working with Scarecrow, things are more dire than ever. …especially when Scarecrow’s fear gas brings out the worst in the Dark Knight…

      For the Harley Quinn DLC, it consists of the criminal trying to break out Poison Ivy from the Bludhaven prison.  The Red Hood DLC involves the Red Hood mercenary not afraid to kill to stop the crook Black Mask from stealing cold hard cash.  The Scarecrow Nightmare DLC involves you doing three extra AR missions where you must survive an onslaught of supernatural events in the Batmobile and to defeat Scarecrow in your bat tank.  The Matter of Family Batgirl DLC consists of you playing as Barbara Gordon in trying to save her father from the clutches of the Joker and Harley Quinn at an amusement park before the events of Arkham Asylum.

      This game is a hybrid of a number of game styles, varying from a rhythm-focused combat, solving puzzles with your gadgets, using stealth mechanics when facing enemies with guns, racing around on your batmobile, and doing tank-styled combat somewhat similar to Wii Play if you’ve ever played that.  Add a dash of gliding mechanics and a few investigation-styled segments thrown in and you have Arkham Knight!

      THE GOOD

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      The first thing I noticed that I will applaud the game for is that, compared to the other games in the series, is that it has the meatiest campaign out of all of them.  That was something that really grinded my gears regarding Arkham City was how short it was, where you could practically beat the game in less than 7 hours.  I’m glad to say that this is not the case with Arkham Knight!  Not even including the incredulous amount of side mission material you have in store for you, it will easily take 15 or more hours to go through strictly just the main story missions.  And if you do add in all of the side mission stuff (not including Riddler trophies), then you can easily double that number.  Not to mention that there’s new game plus to tackle if you desire playing the game over again with a few added things such as no warnings during combat to make things a little tougher.  You’ll definitely be getting your money’s worth when it comes to the main base of the game in terms of amount of content.  The game constantly throws at you these side missions to do as if giving you lots of options what to do too, something that reminds me of Majora’s Mask, and something I highly want to see more of in games. Choices!

      One of the more obvious tasty details this game has to offer is…well…how pretty it looks!  Seeing how this is the first PS4 game that I’ve played, it definitely shows how much of a powerhouse that this console has!  I love how fast it is in displaying a 3D world map from a touch of a button and how gloriously detailed this game is even to the very smallest of decorations around you.  They crammed a ton of extra tidbits around the grimy city with all sorts of easter eggs and references to other characters and criminals around.  It’s to the point that after playing for a good number of hours, you’ll know almost exactly where you are due to how unique all of the set pieces are.  You’ll be going around in a chemical factory, a movie studios, Chinatown, skyscrapers, and even some airships!  Sometimes it’s just fun to just look all around you and absorb it all in like one of those I Spy books…which is why some of the Riddler challenges you are do are rather fun since you can appreciate how much time the developers put into the artwork around you.  All of the sound effects as well punchin’ dudes and using gadgets only gets amplified from your controller in certain areas.  I should also mention that all of the cinematics are very well done and almost look like its real to the point that it’s mind boggling.  I’ve had some people play or watch and even question for a second if they were watching a live action movie.  That’s insane that we live in an age where our video games look that close to live action.  Many of the voice actors are very well chosen, and you can tell that the developers took care in their choices by trying to stick to all of the original voice actors to the animated Batman series.  There’s so much polish in this game that it just glimmers with sheen. It makes me want to give these people a cookie. A big…fat…gooey chocolate chip cookie! Mmmmmm….

      Something that I definitely enjoyed playing out of this game was how they pretty much perfected the combat and predator missions within the game from the other installments.  Almost all of the gadgets you’ve used in the past are present here now, and there are enough different enemy types to make you think outside of the box instead of just mashing the square button like you could do in previous games.  In particular, I feel that the predator sections are my favorite, especially with how you acquire this new voice synthesizer to place enemies in the right place and how there’s this new enemy type that can not only locate where you are if you use detective mode, but there are now enemies that are near-invisible if you use detective mode!  I always found detective mode to be rather…broken…and I’m glad that the game is trying to only use it when necessary.  Nothing is more fun than setting up an elaborate plan and making the enemy look like a fool when they spring all of the traps similar to Home Alone.  It’s addicting, and it’s why I enjoy playing the Batman Arkham games for this reason alone.  Because I’m Batmaaaaannnnn….

      This game is also very funny! Ummm… MINOR SPOILER for those that haven’t played for the first few hours…

      Joker is in this game as a hallucination.  It’s amazing that Mark Hamill somehow is back, seeing how Joker died in the last game.  He cracks the best dark jokes around you all while you’re playing as Batman slowly goes insane, and I highly suggest for you to actually do as many side missions as you can before you finish the story because Joker will give you more dialogue the more you do.  Not only is Joker funny though, but hearing what the enemies say around you is sometimes gold too due to their…stupidity, to put it bluntly.  “He’s got a tank!” “Oh god…come on! Let’s get out of here!”  And then you just ram into the car and just absolutely demolish it.  Batman doesn’t kill? Yeahhhhh I don’t think so. NOT ANYMORE.

      END MINOR SPOILERS

      Something else I like about this game is how there is a significant amount more puzzle solving than before in the Arkham series.  In particular, far later in the game, it feels almost far more like a Zelda game in where you need to go and what you need to do.  The Batmobile adds more possible answers for puzzles as well, having to get it to hang on walls, use as another weight, etc. And something else I enjoy is that the game doesn’t give you any hints or baby’s you around for a certain puzzle far too quickly like other modern games, and expects you to be able to figure it out.  The Riddler puzzles in particular were probably some of my favorite parts of the game, since it doesn’t hold your hand and makes it feel almost more like Portal more than anything with puzzles of just the right difficulty.  Some of the Riddler rooms are particularly clever as well when you have Catwoman with you, enforcing you to remember that you have two people with you to use rather than just Batman.  This same interesting mechanic of using more than one person (such as with Robin or Nightwing) later on in the game is also refreshing.

      One side mission I thought was rather bone-chilling was the serial killer side quest.  If there was something that gave this game a mature rating it’s probably this.  I won’t spoil it but...oog…the serial killer is one messed up person.  It’s definitely worth doing just to see who he is and what he does to everyone.  I actually would have wished that there could be more missions like these to give this game more of the dark twists that it needed and to use more investigative features.

      Unlike many of the other people that play this game, I actually like the Batmobile. …a lot.  Yes, it takes some getting used to with the controls, and yes, the game shoves the thing in front of you a bit too much, and yes, it’s kinda silly… But once you do get used to the controls, I found it to be a blast to play and almost second nature to get around everywhere with.  You get to use a friggin’ tank around in the city…as BATMAN! Who would not want that?  And the beast just gets more and more and more powerful with all sorts of overpowered upgrades like an EMP blast, shooting missiles around everywhere like it’s the 4th of July, and even using a turbo boost to make it go even faster!  The environments around you are incredibly destructive as well, which just makes you want to ram your car even more into buildings and just smash everything….just because you…wellllll…can?  It’s the equivalent of seeing a bunch of breakable pots in Zelda or Bloodborne. I might have some problems. Or I might be Batman. I mean…come on…do you really believe that a playboy is that badass vigilante? Please.  Doing tank battles with the Batmobile is always fun and keeps you on your toes, especially when they start throwing in drones that spit out missiles at you on top of normal tanks!

      I also really liked how much a challenge the Arkham Knight boss battle was. That’s all I say on the topic.

      One of my most favorite portions of the games was the AR missions. I really, really wish that there were more of these missions since it felt very arcadey and provided a true challenge for me and setting limitations on what I can do.  Racing around in race courses dodging obstacles as fast as blazingly possible, racking up high scores in combat battles, and having to take down 16 armed militia with a plethora of gadgets against your side…I honestly could just play the whole game like that if I could.

      One last thing I should mention that makes this game shine out is that there is rarely a true dull moment.  You’ll always be doing something, whether it be flying, driving, punching, or sneaking.  Very little menu fumbling and all of that, and it keeps you engaged.  While the story may not be quite as great as previous entries in the franchise, I still enjoyed it enough to play through it and it had quite a good number of cliffhangers for certain areas of the game.

      THE BAD

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      Hoooo boy.  Most of the bad things I have to say of this game are, admittedly, rather nit-picky, but being the Dark Knight is certainly not without problems.  For me, the biggest problem of this game is a very…very sad one.  And it’s that it’s fairly disappointing and squanders on a ton of amazing potential.

      Many of the boss fights in particular in this game are…very lackluster to be frank.  In the previous series of games, it was always really exciting to battle a ton of these various criminals with their various fighting styles that makes you think outside the box.  In Arkham Asylum, there was the Killer Croc battle that made you be stealthy on wooden planks to avoid being crocodile food, the Scarecrow battle where you had to avoid his eyesight in a very trippy world where everything is right-side up, and a Poison Ivy battle where you dodged a bunch of vines while throwing batarangs at the right moment against this massive flower.  In Arkham City, there was the Mr. Freeze battle where you constantly had to use different predator takedowns to take care of him, or the rather eventful Raaz Al Ghul fight that places you in a another trippy area and have to battle against a horde of him blocking tons of swords and whatnot, and the Solomon Grundy fight when you had to use your explosive spray on certain pads on the right time.  In Arkham Origins, there’s that awesome Deathstroke battle that required some quick button presses, a few Bane battles on top of a rooftop, and a Copperhead battle where your character is poisoned and has to try to battle it out.  In Arkham Knight? Well…apart from only one boss battle with the Arkham Knight himself later in the game…there really isn’t much.

      The biggest shame is that this game has a lot of colorful villains to work with. Penguin, Riddler, Two-Face, Scarecrow, Deathstroke, and hell…even Man-Bat just to name a few! …I never thought I’d see Man-Bat ever since I listened to that obscure record when I was little… Either way, when you fight these guys….if you fight these guys rather….you either get a scenario where it’s just like any other random predator or combat battle or something very laughably easy. Penguin? You simply use a predator takedown on him. Remember how hard Two-Face was in Arkham City? Well, this time you just use a silent takedown like on any other random moot. Scarecrow? You don’t even fight him at all! No neat hallucination battles, painfully little cool Hideo Kojima styled 4th wall breaking stuff , nothing. Deathstroke? PFFFFFFFFFFT. The tank battle you get when you battle against him is even easier than the one you would do earlier with the Arkham Knight. And when you do finally take down his tank, he jumps up in the air all epic-like with his gleaming sword as if you’re about to duel it out in a revenge kind of like Arkham Origins……..and then you just grab him and punch him once in the face and knock him out unconscious.  …………………what??

      We’re talking…a near super-human assassin that can go toe-to-toe with Deadpool in Death Battle… An elite soldier badass enough to do an infinite amount of push-ups, has regenerative abilities, and is able to take a crapton of abuse in a sword duel and you’re telling me that ONE PUNCH is all that it takes to take him out???  It makes no sense, and it’s not like this was the case previously in the series!  In Arkham Origins you have this pretty neat battle where you have to constantly block a barrage of sword strikes at the right time, and you have to deliver at least like 80 punches on him before he goes down.  But in Arkham Knight? You do… (sigh)… this stealth tank mission that’s even easier than some of the ones you had to do before.  Once you got rid of these drone tanks, then you just mindlessly blast Deathstroke’s tank while going in reverse until the tank’s health is gone. And then! The assassin leaps out of his tank all shiny-like with his sword, in a stance about to take on the Batman! You’re all pumped to be able to tackle this foe once more! And then you….watch a cinematic of Batman grabbing him in the air, punching him once to get him unconscious, and then drive him to the police station. …he’s not even wearing any handcuffs when he gets out and he just goes along quietly even though he’s conscious again.  How….stupid is this??? When I played the game for the second time around for new-game plus, it easily became the most infuriating moment in the entire playthrough. I would almost want to do 200 more Riddler trophies if it meant having to actually make this portion less stupid than the time that Adam Malkovich told Samus to put on the Varia Suit in Other M.

      Speaking of Riddler trophies…there’s…a lot of them.  Honestly? I think that the concept itself of doing a crazy scavenger hunt around the city is rather enticing but… only a few of the trophies really present a puzzling challenge.  Most of them are really silly or lazy…such as time wasting ones like “Destroy 15 balloons” or just a riddler trophy lying there under a bridge without any sort of obstacle around them.  Personally in my tastes, I say either just leave those lazy trophies out of the game entirely or don’t have Riddler trophies at all.  There’s a saying that you can add more by adding less and this is a good situation of that.  It also doesn’t help much that if you do all of the Riddler challenges, you get the easiest boss fight in the world and just battle…more of the same goons you’ve battled before.  At least warlock punching Riddler in the face was part of the experience, but still not quite enough to have to go through all of the effort of doing this random mess.  (Thank goodness though that you don’t have to get all of the Riddler trophies again in new game +).

      Another rather disappointing feature of this game is how monotonous some of the missions you have to do become.  A very good example is all of the ridiculous amounts of the same mission you have to do that consist of taking down watch towers, finding firefighters, landing on Man-Bat multiple times, clearing the streets of patrols, disarming bombs for the 12th time, etc.  It just really feels a lot like padding to be honest, and I would have loved to see some extra challenge thrown into some of these so that it doesn’t feel all samey all the dang time.  Though, I wouldn’t have minded about this nearly as much if it wasn’t for the fact that very few of these pop up on the map... ….which means that you are supposed to scour the entire world map in order to even hope to locate these.  And just as an extra kick in the nuts, many of these don’t even pop up until later along when you’ve done more story related missions…so you could be searching in vain!!  I will confess that I did cheat a little and looked up online for the locations because…geez…I don’t want to waste hours just trying to find these places.  And no, I won’t accept the excuse that Batman is supposed to be more of a detective and to find these things and to listen to the audio communications…because it only works some of the time.  I’ve tested this.  And even then, you have to be very close for the audio communications to pick up for a firefighter anyway.  And some of these locations are quite craftily hidden.  If you are going to make players have to get 100% completion to see the credits for the game, then you better show the locations or make it easier to find.

      Speaking of which….yeah! This game pulls a Donkey Kong 64 on you….twice!  In Donkey Kong 64 on the final level, there was this door at the very end of the level where you had to find these hard-to-get hidden collectibles in order to beat the game…leaving you in spitting distance to the final boss.  Arkham Knight does this twice, since in order to reveal the true ending of the game, you need 100% completion—which means doing all of the random samey missions and Riddler trophies scattered around.  But the game flips the finger at the player again by teasing you after you save Catwoman from Riddler .  You start the boss fight with Riddler, and he abruptly halts the fight akin to a Youtube ad and says, “Find EVERY Riddler trophy scattered around the city and THEN we can finish this fight!”  I found this more funny honestly than angering…but I can easily see this being jarring and frustrating for other folks.

      I’ve seen many people complain about the Batmobile.  And while I honestly don’t think that it’s that bad as a mechanic, I will admit that it does overstay its welcome sometimes as the developers shove this bat tank into your face as if saying, “YOU WILL LOVE THIS THING!! LOVVVE IIIIIIIIIIIT!”  I think it would be neat and fun as a diversion to have it in there sparingly, for I did find a number of the AR missions with the Batmobile fun.

      Another larger complaint though I have regarding the game is how the control scheme for this game can take some getting used to.  It’s quite the learning curve, given how there’s a control scheme for flying, for walking, for combat, for stealth, for driving, for tank combat, for…gah!  Even after I have played 3 of the major installments for the franchise, it was quite a bit to wrap my head around, and I was looking like an idiot over trying to drive a Batmobile around for the first time or getting severely punished for not doing a fear takedown combo correctly.  It might be more because I suck, but a few more optional training stages wouldn’t have hurt.  Or perhaps to slowly add in these new elements in or something.

      Regarding the story, it’s…alright.  Personally I would have liked for Scarecrow to actually be…well…scary by maybe inducing more fourth wall breaking mechanics or perhaps some Majora’s Mask like doomsday timer. That would have been awesome. But instead you get some new villain that’s just like the rest of those other villains called the Arkham Knight.  While I will admit that his boss fight is cool, his demeanor is very shallow in that he’s basically a Kratos-angry person that just really REALLY hates Batman.  I would have liked the Arkham Knight more if his minions were a lot smarter than normal goons.  The game certainly wants you to think that his underlings are smarter…but the same tactics that you used on other individuals apply here.  Also there needs to be more hallucination moments like in Arkham Asylum if you’re going to have Scarecrow as the main villain.

      The music in this game is surprisingly lackluster compared to the previous installments as well.  Arkham City in particular had some amazing pieces for its soundtrack—in particular for its predator missions.  But for Arkham Knight….? Well…apart from a pretty cool song in the Batgirl DLC, I honestly can’t remember even one memorable song in the game.  Heck…this game even simply just steals songs from Arkham City especially for the AR missions.

      Now’s a good time as any too to talk about the DLC.  Overall?  It’s dumb and disappointing.  Many of them felt rushed and way…way too short in general.  It’s like…waiting in a long line to go see this cool ride at a theme park and then right when it starts to get good, you’re done in like 10 seconds and they say, “Thanks for your money! Next.” The Harley Quinn DLC had a cool mechanic where she fights loudly yet quickly in predator sections, but the boss fight at the end is pretty much just the same as any other random combat section and it takes a mere 30 minutes or less to finish. Yep.  The Red Hood DLC is pretty much the same story.  You do this very short mission with a cool mechanic where your character kills others with guns but it ends so quickly that it just feels silly.  The boss fight at the end is pretty much just the same as any other random combat section too!!  The Scarecrow DLC missions warn you that it has high difficulty content! OoooooooOoooOOooo…scary! But…it doesn’t.  In fact, it’s significantly easier than the AR missions, and just consists of you going along this straightforward path and then mindlessly blasting a giant Scarecrow with bullets.

      Though I can be a little bit more lenient on all of these DLC add-ons since most of these were just bonus little extras you get if you buy the game new or whatever.  I will definitely say that the DLC incentives are NOT worth getting the game new.  The Batgirl DLC though is a bit more insulting though in my tastes.  There’s a really big push right now from the developers to buy this $40 Season Pass for…content…that’s going to be released in the next 6 months.  The Batgirl DLC comes with this season pass, but you can also get it for separate for $7. …Simply put, the Batgirl DLC is not worth $7.  It’s just as short as any other side mission in the main game and can be beaten in around one hour on this small map.  But the biggest disappointment is the fact that Batgirl doesn’t even play very much differently than Batman himself.  I would have much preferred her to perhaps be weaker in combat, but to have to rely on a bunch of gadgets or hacking devices to utilize more of a strategy when fighting (rather than doing the same combat style once again).  In my opinion, Oracle/Batgirl is more known for being smarter with computers than anything, and it would have been neat seeing her use robots ala Metal Gear style to take down enemies.  Also, story wise, you are not missing anything crucial (same goes for all of the other DLC packs now that I think about it).  It’s pretty much a very basic “Joker kidnaps person and his plot gets foiled” story.

      THE EVIL

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      The first thing I thought about this game when I played it was WHERE IS THE FRIGGIN ARMY???  I mean…you have a massive city-wide terrorist threat going on in Gotham that could affect the entire East Coast and you’re telling me that Batman has too much ego to let the army take care of this???  Batman’s so selfish and controlling that he won’t even let any of his allies help him if he can avoid it…! I mean…yeah…I get that he’s trying to protect them by not getting them involved in any of this.  But good god son…it’s a warzone out there and you’re going to need as much help as you can possibly get!  Why else would you even bother recruiting folks like Robin and Oracle on your team if you won’t let them even help…? It’s silly.

      This all happens in one night. ONE. NIGHT!!!  I’m still having trouble getting over this fact and it’s just utterly ridiculous. I mean…I would love to see someone get a 100% completion run in this game in less than 12 hours including all of those Riddler trophies.

      I remember looking online and saw people bash this game for the fact that it treats women poorly in the sense that all of the women in the game get kidnapped all of the time. And….in a way I can see that if you add in Poison Ivy, Oracle, and Catwoman…but when you add in all of the firefighters kidnapped as well Robin, Nightwing, some other spoilerific male protagonists, as well as the male people that the serial people has kidnapped… I…just honestly think that people are taking this way out of proportion and that this game just has a problem of having too many people that are kidnapped period.

      I find it odd how this game got a Mature rating.  Other than maybe the serial killer and some disturbing moments in Stagg’s airship, this game isn’t that bad. There’s very little to no blood in combat, no swearing other than a few ‘bastard’s thrown in…yeah.  As a matter of fact, I think that Arkham City was worse with the inclusion of the phone calls with Zsasz and his highly disturbing messages of detailed killings and cutting throats are just… oog.  The plot in Arkham City felt far more grim too with the need to kill all of the prisoners.  Either way, this game probably doesn’t deserve the Mature rating.  The raters just got scared because of City probably.  Now that I think about it….you know how in Gamestop how the employee always asks you for your ID when playing a Mature game (*cough*…even though you may look like you’re over 40 *cough*)?  Well…I wasn’t even asked that when I got the game bundled with the PS4.  Did he forget? Nah…I just think the game mind-controlled him. MWAHAHAHAAAA!!

      THE CONQUERING

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      For those that wish to conquer this game, it really isn’t too bad…but you’ll definitely have to put some elbow grease in.  The first thing you want to do is to beat the main story missions so that you can unlock many of the sections around the map as well as the side missions.  Once you’ve done that, now it’s time to focus on all of the non-Riddleresque side missions.  Many of these won’t pose too much of a challenge, though I do highly suggest looking online for the locations for those firefighters or serial killer victims in order to save some headache.  Then comes all of the Riddler trophies…which is going to be one of the biggest time sinks of the game.  There’s 243 Riddler trophies scattered throughout the map, and it will easily take around 8 hours or so to find them all.  Make sure you interrogate any green dudes you see when flying around the map to save some time later, and pick up the freeze grenades from Panessa Studios once you’ve finished up that part of the game.  You’ll need them for a few of the Riddler trophies.  Oh…and if you get stuck in one particular nasty one…just…remember that you have the Batmobile and that Explosion gel will not wipe off of surfaces.

      After beating one of the easiest boss fights in history, it’s time to initiate Knightfall Protocol to get a snazzy gold trophy.  Then it’s time to tackle New Game +.  To be honest…? Even though the new game is supposedly in the suuuper scarrrrry Knightmare difficulty…it’s not that hard at all.  The only real changes that you need to worry about are no warnings in combat and that you will lose your Fear ability in stealth missions if you even get seen by enemies.  Just double-tap X in combat repeatedly in order to dodge and not break your combo, as well as remembering that the batclaw is overpowered in stealth missions if you get caught (in order to take the guns out of their hands) and you’ll be in the clear. You don’t need to do a 200% completion run to get the platinum trophy in this game as long as you just stick to the Scarecrow missions, but I did because….I’m crazy I guess. Also because 200% sounds so silly, it’s awesome.

      The DLC is a breeze, and you may only need online help for collectibles for the Batgirl DLC (since the map doesn’t show where they are for whatever reason) but that’s about it.

      After some of the more silly trophies such as getting 3 minutes of Batmobile grinding time (which I accomplished by doing Bat-donuts) and flying under some bridges in one glide, the only challenge that remained was the AR missions.  Thankfully, these aren’t nearly as hard as the Arkham City ones, and many of the stealth missions don’t have time limits this time around.  The only one that may give you a little trouble is this one where you need to race around the city as well as blow up drones in a time limit.  I recommend cutting corners as much as possible, abusing the afterburner like crazy, and hitting restart on the pause screen if you feel that you made more than one mistake. It’s fairly tough, but with enough perseverance, you can do it.  Also…a word of advice for tank battles—using EMP blasts are much more useful for breathing room than any of the other secondary weapons.

      After all of this, you should get a snazzy platinum trophy! SHAZAM!

      THE VERDICT

      I may be rather lenient in my decision regarding this game due to my fan-boyism of the Arkham franchise and the fact that my brain has been melting trying to condone hundreds of hours of grinding in Hyrule Warriors…but overall?  I generally enjoyed my time with Arkham Knight.  As a core game, it looks and sounds brilliant, and touches up on a lot of the core mechanics.  I’d say that it definitely has enough content to be worth its asking price…but not so much for the overpriced DLC.

      The game is a bit disappointing though, only rubbing salt into your wounds with how much potential this game has for greatness. And this is probably the main thing holding this game back from being a great game.  But it’s still fun! And I’d recommend this if you’re looking for a good time…kind of like eating pizza. As long as you don’t expect too much.

      I give this game 7.0 Bat-Tanks out of 10!  This means that the game is good.

      And before I go, there is one more thing I should say about this game. Let it be known that I am NOT going to back down from a challenging game! I am NOT a disgrace! For…

      I am VENGEANCE….

      photo arkham9_zpszwa7ocxi.jpg

      I am the KNIGHT!

      photo arkham8_zps5y3d5bq2.jpg

      I….AM…..BATMAN!!!!!

      photo arkham7_zps47xmfswg.jpg

       

      Till next time!  I hope you enjoyed reading!

    • Top Ten Personal Underrated Games

      1 year ago

      darkhyrulelord

      MWAHAHAHAHAHAAA!!

      After quite the long hiatus, it’s finally time to crank out my writing fingers again to conquer the blogging space!  But…wow…it’s been more than a whole year since I’ve posted my last blog onto this site. I’ve…um….been busy.  Well, the only real excuse that I have was that I was trying to finish college for like the longest time, and the last semester in particularly was a doozy.  I had to fight just to pass some of those classes!  In particular Senior Design….oh gosh a lot of stress and work was put into that robot to make it work…

      But I’m done with school for (hopefully) a very long time, so why not celebrate with another fun little blog?  It’s been a while since I’ve written something on ScrewAttack, and I feel that hopefully I can start making my comeback by making a top ten list that’s long overdue!

      As you may remember a year or so ago, I made a Top Ten Overrated Games List funnily enough on April 1st of last year.  Therefore, I’m making the counterpart of it and making my Top Ten Personal Underrated Games List this time around!  For the longest time, I had trouble of actually thinking of ten to put onto this list since I only could think of nine for the longest time—until quite recently thankfully enough!  I’m not all doom and gloom as you may think like the dark pork lord that am, well, for the most part at least.  That’s right! This time instead of bashing games that are worthy of far more praise than they should be getting and picking on some games like a bully, I’m going to be defending the games that get picked on by bullies themselves!

      What exactly is an underrated game?  For the purposes of this list, an underrated game is one that is worthy of more praise than it is getting.  People are putting these games in a not-so positive light unfairly, or perhaps they deserve more attention than being cast aside.  Now, just because a game is underrated doesn’t necessarily mean that the game has to be good--just better than what the overall consensus of the general population puts the game out to be.  For instance, Big Rigs Over the Road Racing is an underrated game since everyone deems it to be the worst game ever made, even though some entertainment can be found with its loosey goosey controls and ridiculous game breaking mechanics.  Though, while it’s not the worst game ever conceived due to some entertainment factor, it still isn’t that great of game.

      That being said, this list will have a few rules, naturally.  This includes:

      1.     One game per franchise. You know, to freshen things up!

      2.     I must have given this game a fair shake in conquering it.  I can’t have just played it for a few seconds and call it a day.

      3.     No flash games. Sorry Titanium Man of Flash Gaming people…

       

      That’s actually just about it. Without futher ado, let’s finally get to the list!

      …oh, and um…there might be spoilers for some of these games, but I’ll try my best to keep them at a minimum.

       

      #10: Kid Icarus: Uprising

      Remember when I mentioned that for the longest time when I tried to conjure up this list that I could really only think of 9 games? Well, this is that one game I played recently to where I could put 10 games into the list. I may be cheating a slight bit with this one since it’s more of the underappreciated category more than the underrated category. But gosh darn it, this game needs some more attention dammit!

      I feel that I fell into the same camp that most people did regarding this one.  There were a few reasons why I never picked up this hidden gem for the longest while—probably the first one namely being that it was an early 3DS game, and I never got a 3DS until later.  Reviews for the game at the time were okay, but nothing glowing or must-buy.  Many of the complaints surrounded the control scheme and how it’s a marketing ploy to try to make people to buy the Circle Pad Pro (that later turned out to be fairly useless with the lack of games that support it).  The E3 first showing was fairly lackluster too and barely showed what any of the gameplay would be.  When I eventually did try out the game on someone else’s copy to see if I was interested…the first level seemed IMMENSELY easy, rather barebones, and really really short.

      Don’t let this fool you though—this is easily one of the best games I’ve played in recent years.  It’s just a massive shame that the game decides to let loose a few levels in to do so.  Still, you all really need to try this treat if you haven’t already.  It’s kind of funny how—usually I kind of scoff when Smash Bros games have way too much Sakurai game representation—but Kid Icarus Uprising….kind of needs it because very few I know have played it.  Because in certain ways, the Kid Icarus game is more impressive and interesting than the newest Smash Bros game. ….yeah, I went there.

      For those that haven’t figured it out already—Kid Icarus: Uprising is a game produced by Sora and Sakurai…probably my favorite producer.  This game is ages better than the (ironically) overrated Kid Icarus game on the NES since it’s less cryptic, more fair and still retains difficulty, and generally is just….more exciting.  This is one of those rare cases where throwing a monkey wrench into the whole game mechanics for a reboot and not being a platformer really pays off . (This game is technically a sequel but since it’s been more than 20 years since the last Kid Icarus Of Myths and Monsters game, I’m considering this game more of a reboot than anything.)

      Being a Sakurai game, this game has an insane amount of polish and is easily one of the prettiest 3DS games to date still!  There’s 25 levels in the game, which can take around an average of 25 minutes each in a very arcadey style game.  1/3 of the level is an on rails shooter, and the other 2/3 of the level is a third person shooter.  I will admit that the learning curve on the controls for the land battles does take some getting used to, but in no time when you increase the sensitivity you’ll be blasting baddies in no time.  The music in particular is a very welcome feature with a lot of amazing tracks.  It’s no wonder that so many of them got remixed into the new Smash Bros, since many of them are excellent.  This is just one of them.

      Boss fights (in particular the epic last one!), interesting level mechanics, a surprising amount of rather clever and funny dialogue, and lots of imaginative characters await you.  An insane amount of replay value of unlockables (360 challenges to be exact!!!) also await…but that’s not the best part.  For those truly wishing for something exciting, there’s the Fiend’s Cauldron.  You bet hearts (currency) to make the level harder—including making the level having the dreaded difficulty of 9.0.  The kicker is is that if you die once, you get your difficulty downgraded and you lose hearts—making it especially intense if you’re trying to complete the challenges.

      In a nutshell, this game is a lot more than what people usually make it out to be. I urge you to try it!

       

      #9: Zelda 2: The Adventure of Link

      Poor Zelda 2, always getting a bad rap just because of how hard it is.  To be fair, the mistranslations and cryptic Nintendo Power BS such as finding Bagu in this specific forest square are major flaws of this game…. But it’s not like other Zelda games weren’t cryptic. Heck, I might even say that the original Zelda is more cryptic (especially for the ridiculous Second Quest) since there’s going to be a point where you’ll have to wildly bomb and burn trees down in the mere hopes that maybe…just MAYBE, one of those squares has a dungeon you need to go towards. …sigh… If you haven’t told by now—I actually think that Zelda 2 is better than Zelda 1 by just a hair since there’s less grinding you have to do.  There’s nothing worse in Zelda 1 than having to grind for like 600 rupees to afford your bow, shield, and blue ring. But in Zelda 2 there really is no mandatory grinding.  Usually I can blast through the game without grinding XP in the slightest.

      But I digress, I’m here to praise Zelda 2 for the moment now—I already did enough bashing on games in the overrated games list!

      I feel that people treat the game unfairly just because of the basis that it’s different.  And yes, it is different. But is that bad?  No…no it’s not.  Much like the previous entry in this list, this game focuses more on action and always keeps you on your toes.  Many criticisms on the game focus around how Link’s sword is too small…but I would actually think that would take away from the game.  Kind of like how with Castlevania 4, Simon Belmont’s whip was WAY too long and just decimated everything—making your items useless.  I feel that they made Link’s sword shorter in order for the player to strategize on whether to use spells or not.  Plus it gives the player a healthy dose of challenge.  Even though you do go right back to the start if you get a game over, the game isn’t that cruel.  This is the only Zelda game to give you extra lives, plus you usually can get back to the dungeon fairly quickly depending on what items you have.

      Much like in Game Grumps, I feel that Danny is right in the sense that this game is way ahead of its time.  The story is a lot more serious in tone where you have to stop the resurrection of Ganon with spies around everywhere, there’s NPCs that actually make the towns and villages feel alive, and the game has a darker tone with its enemies looking more realistic—setting some of the standards for what the Zelda series enemies would look like in the future!  Zelda 2 also doesn’t have repeat bosses like in the original, some of them even causing you to rethink your strategy.  The music in this game is quite spectacular, and they always seem to throw in something new and exciting around the corner—like Giant Bots that pop out from the ceiling to surprise you!  This is strangely enough one of the only games that is scary in a certain way—but a good type of scary.  The game is just hard enough to feel challenging in the sense of you being wary to go forward with what nightmarish creatures that await you…

      This is also one of those games that are fun to just go back through and burn through in a sitting.  Being just long enough to feel like an adventure, with exciting battles that still to this day can put you on your toes.  I do highly recommend a walkthrough for some portions if you get stuck, but this is certainly far from the being the worst Zelda game—even in the core series.  No, that might possibly go to Phantom Hourglass with that abysmal and annoying Temple of the Ocean King. *rolls around*

      EDIT: Now that I think about it, Skyward Sword was pretty close to making it.  Though I think that more people are starting to see it as a decent Zelda game despite the annoyances of Fi. It has some problems but I still think it’s a very fun game to play to this day.

       

      #8: Mass Effect 3

      I think that Jared said it best in his video of Top Ten games of 2012 in regards to this one.  Everyone seems to bash heavily on this game just because of its ending.  ….do you know how ridiculous that sounds?  You’re already going to label this as a bad game just because of a very small fraction of a game?  Just think of ALL of the other good games you’ve played that had bad or lackluster or lazy endings—even the story driven games.  Are you going to label those as bad games too?  I will admit that the ending with this game did feel….rushed with introducing a god child out of the top of its hat.  But I really don’t think that this game was the worst in regards of an ending.  It at least tied the number of mandatory strings together with what happened to Shepard and the Reapers at least.  And if you’re still not satisfied, there’s a loooooooong optional segment within the Earth mission where you can talk and chat with most of the people and crew you’ve developed relationships throughout the whole game.  So at least there’s some more ending strings to tie up for those that care enough to seek them out.

      Still, to label this as a bad game because of that is just ridiculous.  I’ll even go as far as to say that—contrary to the popular opinion—this game is better than Mass Effect 2!  While Mass Effect 2 was fun and all—especially with its epic final mission—I felt that the story just felt like an excuse to have you run around and do fan-fic style missions with the other characters.  Basically it felt like the whole game was a massive waiting game where the Illusive man told you “Rabblerabblerabble…go fool around for a number of days and try to find crew members until we can find where the space pirate ship is!” and then eventually go do the final mission when he says it’s okay to. ….kind of like Ghostbusters on the NES when the game randomly decides it’s time for you to do the last level.

      Yet, in Mass Effect 3, there seems to be more of a purpose with all of the missions you’re doing.  It’s Armageddon for the whole universe, and it’s up to you to save everyone and to create the A team of all other alien races.  It feels as if far more is at stake here instead of just you going around like a headless chicken.  At long last you end series-long struggles races, help cure diseases, and ultimately be a part of a massive war.  The game itself is a lot harder than the last game in all of the right ways.  Your shield and this time actually acts like a shield where it regenerates instead of your health regenerating as well—actually making you be more defensive and strategic instead of being all guns a’blazin’ like in Call of Duty.  Many more enemies are a part of this game as well—including the infamous Banshees that still give me a hard time due to their threat level with their insta-kill move.  The controls also feel a lot more fluid, and the whole game in general just feels more on a grander scale.

      I should also quickly add that the music in this game fits very well with its more somber moments, and you have a lot more options just in general with what you want to do.  There’s more characters than ever in this one, with more opportunities to see things being played differently out.  I was really surprised to see how my Evil and Good Shepard’s playthroughs were so vastly different.  Though, ironically, Evil Shepard may have gotten the good ending by having UNLIMITED POWER OF REBIRTH!!  That’s why you become a dark lord. Like me!

       

      #7: Castlevania: Lords of Shadow 2

      Now we’re really getting up there. Already the first Castlevania: Lords of Shadow game is an underrated gem that never seems to get the real praise it deserves.  It’s a bit of a swansong of a game that’s a reboot of a series that no one really asked for.  And yet, despite a lot of money and effort poured into this game, it still didn’t match people’s expectations for a new game.  I feel that if this game went under a different name other than Castlevania, this game would have had more praise since this game tries to make itself VERY clear that it’s not part of the main series and is a reboot.  A very different reboot by trying to state the whole origin story of Dracula and the events that lead up to the whole Castlevania series as a whole.  Artistically and musically, this game is very beautiful, having an insane amount of content for levels and easily reaching around the 30 hour mark for an action adventure game.  For game of this genre, that’s very, very impressive to have so much new content in.  It had a very stylistic approach to the Castlevania series and, for once in the series very similar to old Europeon folklore tales. Plus, IT ACTUALLY HAS YOU EXPLORE AROUND PLACES THAT’S JUST NOT THE CASTLE! And, seeing how it’s a reboot, you don’t really quite know what to expect, having an amazing amount of polish with superb voice acting.  Much like Kid Icarus: Uprising—once you feel like you’re done. You’re not, and there’s quite a bit more exciting game to be had as you watch your Belmont sink slowly into chaos and into more epic confrontations.  Yes, this game isn’t the most original, but it still was a blast to play and deserves more attention.

      However, Castlevania: Lords of Shadow 2 is a game that’s far more worthy of a list. People are starting to see just how amazing the first game was, so I don’t quite feel it’s as underrated as it used to be now that more people are less harsh on it.  It’s funny, since this is now the sequel that everyone was looking more forward to ever since the awesome twist that the first game had.  You could play as DRACULA! In a Castlevania game!! That already should make the game awesome in my books….sooooo I might be a little bit skewed on this one. Plus—instead of a game set at the origin of the timeline, it’s set in the future in a modern world… This was just oozing of possibilities and imagination, especially when I heard that there was a time travel mechanic in the game. Being able to play as Dracula and going around destroying everything in a city to defeat Satan? Yeah….that’s pretty rad.

      So what made this game so negatively viewed by the public?  Probably because of the insane amount of hype.  And yet, I still feel that many of the criticisms are unfair.  Yes, the story is a little bit…ridiculous at times but you’re going to make a game where you play as the antagonist of course it’s going to be a little bit weird.  Other complaints pop up about how bland the city is.  Personally…I actually didn’t have a problem with this.  I really enjoyed the stylized feeling of a modern city being used in a gothic sense kind of like…..Gotham City.  But the main complaint was that Dracula was way too weak and that he looked kinda…weird with his chest exposed like that?  (Seriously though, he looks like he belongs on a cologne magazine.) In a way, this is true but how else are you actually going to have..um….a game if your guy is overpowered?  That wouldn’t be fun at all…breezing through a game without even trying.  The only real complaint I have with this game is that it’s kinda short. You can probably beat this game in like two sittings, unfortunately enough.

      However! This game still has a lot going for it!  It’s music is on a grand scale, and has a lot more polish than the previous game did.  A lot less loading screens, environments looking a lot more detailed and rich, massive boss fights at every turn, and a whole bunch of game mechanics to keep things fresh are along the way.  This is a lot more of a puzzle game than the first for certain, a few of the bosses having some rather interesting strategies to beat them with rather than to simply just mash the B button on with some previous Castlevania games, ironically enough.  The attention to detail on the enemies is just astounding, and the very same grandeur with voice acting is present in this game as well.  The boss fights really stood out for me in this game—in particular one where you had to fight massive puppets where another person commentated on the battle.  Many of the battles are really fast-paced, and the game barely lets off any steam the moment it picks up—making you want to complete it to the very end.  There’s even a whole 360 degree camera around now you can use too!  And to top it all off, it’s really cool to see futuristic styled enemies that use guns in contrast to very feral demons in other levels.  Add that with a number of challenge modes and a Very Hard mode that puts you on your toes and you’re golden.

       

      #6: Dead Space 3

      I get it.  Microtransactions suck.  Hell, I’d even go as far as saying that Candy Crush and Pokemon Shuffle just very well might be the worst games I have ever played just because of this greedy scheme to get nickels and dimes from players.  I feel that Jim Sterling says it best.  Yet, what makes Dead Space 3 different from those two games? Well, while yes, Dead Space 3 has some microtransaction BS like the other games, it doesn’t force you to get it and make you wait for however amount of time to play the game.  Instead, it’s just there for those that too lazy to get items lying around in the game. ….where…oh I don’t know…. You could simply play the game like normal and get the items anyway…? The microtransactions in Dead Space 3 are more silly than rage inducing in my opinion, but everyone keeps hating this game just because of this.  While I don’t exactly approve of this marketing strategy, I still don’t think that this game is as bad as everyone says it is.

      I’m still not quite sure if Dead Space 3 is worse or better than the other two games, but I will say that it’s different.  It certainly goes for a more action setting—which I actually much prefer since I never really found the first two games scary and always enjoyed the times when you were forced to be on your toes.  ….however… It can be a little bit annoying with how your character is just…so slow sometimes when I swear that everything else is faster than it was before.

      Some things I do definitely like of Dead Space 3 include that it tries to throw in different environments at you and freshen things up.  There’s very rarely a dull moment in this game from start to finish, and the game can be really tough on harder settings.  When you get to the ice planet, one neat mechanic they threw in was where you had to find warm places to be at or you’d be frozen to death. ….all the while you are trying to avoid enemies!  They also throw in human enemies this time instead of the zombe-aliens to rethink your strategy and to use cover more. But, when they throw in both of these enemy types together, you have to prioritize which ones to take out first and it can be very stressful!  That is one thing going for this game—it’s a lot more tension inducing and exciting than the other two games are in my opinion.  There’s even some repelling sections thrown into the mix and a really neat segment where you have to cause a ship to crashland without being blown up in the process from asteroids.  I should also lastly mention that this game still has a lot of meat put into it for more of an action styled 3rd person shooter with a good number of massive bosses put in to keep things exciting.  The best part of this game that I should mention is that there are a plethora of different modes to play to give it a high amount of replayability. And the Hardcode mode is an awesome challenge that I one day hope to accomplish. (AKA—I suck)

       

      #5: Metroid: Other M

      Ho-lee…crap. I have never seen as much widespread hatred for this game as I have for this one.  For a good number of it, I can kind of understand why (since this isn’t exactly on the top of this list). However, I still think that people mostly give this game too much of a bad rep.  If anything, I hate this game mostly because there might not be a new Metroid game for the longest time due to the immense absurd hatred the mass population has for this game.  Friggin’ critics some times.

      The main criticism people have of this game is for the story.  And…yes…I will agree that the story is really…really dumb.  It’s like they try to cram in a bunch of storylines into one and they just forget about a bunch of them.  Kind of like how there was a killer going around and then he just gets tossed around like garbage later. …and then Ridley shows up and then gets killed soon afterwards.  But the one that really takes the cake is how much exposition Samus gives on her backstory that…just doesn’t match up.  It’s just that a lot of the game doesn’t match up with what they should…. Samus not using her fire protection suit just because she needs authorization for it? It’s really stupid sometimes. And don’t get me started on her getting all freaked out when she sees Ridley even though this game is towards the END of the time line. Ugh…

      STILL! This game isn’t bad. The story is a bit of a smear on an otherwise rather fun game. To be honest, the story never really was the real focus on the Metroid series (or rather…shouldn’t be…), and the gameplay is where it’s at.  And the gameplay for this one is….interesting and fast paced.  It really does feel cool being the bounty hunter again in a 3rd person view blasting away all of these retro styled enemies again.  They even threw in some retro bosses in too from Metroid 4 like the Nightmare!  And even those Spaghetti O enemies from the original Metroid.  It really feels refreshing again to play a Metroid game in an environment more reminiscent of the older Metroid games in an almost 2.5D styled playing world and being able to see where you jump.  That was something slightly annoying about the Metroid Prime games for platforming—since sometimes you had to guess where you were going to jump…but not this time!

      The bosses in particular are a highlight here, usually taking up the whole screen and being a massive blast to take down.  It wasn’t anything generally too brainscratching, but it certainly was quite a bunch of a flashy eye candy for the Metroid fan.  The fight against Ridley in particular was perhaps one of the best when he’s in his iconic violet color and running around the small room and trying to strike you with its tail!  It’s the closest thing you are going to get to a Metroid movie, in my opinion, and the game is very colorful—something that I always look forward to in a game like this.  Generally put, the fast-paced action and more retro-styled theme to this game is very much welcoming.  It isn’t anything mind blowing, but I still enjoy this game a fair degree if nothing else than its bosses.  It’s certainly better than the first two Metroid games since this game doesn’t have the cryptic nonsense like those games can have.

       

      #4: Super Smash Bros. Brawl

      Many people that I know of bash on this game till kingdom come, including my brother.  It’s not just people I know either—it seems that everyone around on the internet seems to scorn this game.  Even to the point that every pro player uses a hack called Project M instead of playing the game!  I can understand most of the criticism, but I still feel that it’s fairly unfair to treat the original game so poorly.  (Once again, another one of Sakurai’s game is on this list…poor guy.)

      Most of the complaints stem around how broken a few of the characters are, such as Snake and Meta Knight.  I will admit that these two are rather….overpowered but it really only seems to matter with very high leveled players.  Plus, it’s not like the previous entries in the franchise didn’t have overpowered players.  I mean, just look at Melee’s Falco. That thing is a beast!  Tripping is another common complaint, yet in my past experience, while slightly annoying…isn’t anything game breaking by far.  Very rarely does it truly affect me when I’m playing.  Another common complaint is that the game is slow. In a way, this is very much true, and it’s hard to rack up combos.  Yet, this does make the game very much strategic—kind of like what the new Smash Bros is doing these days.  Also, you can simply always just make it on faster speed under Special Brawl…right?

      I might sound hypocritical here, but I still think that Melee is vastly superior and feeling just…better and more upbeat when battling.  However, Brawl. Is not…. a BAD GAME.  People always seem to overlook the amount of content oozing from this game that almost made me somewhat disappointed in the new Smash Bros. game.  For one, this game is boasting a massive Adventure Mode with a ton of wonderfully done cutscenes.  Much like with the previous entry, this is the closest thing you will get to a movie with Nintendo characters.  Such a shame though that this wasn’t included in the new Smash Bros… It really was fun to play through and see the cutscenes to see who else you had to fight! Also, battling random bosses around the Nintendo universe was truly spectacular, and seeing the reveal of Ganondorf…was just so much AWESOMEEEEE…!!  I mean, people spoiled the characters in the new game anyway so why not have an Adventure mode in the new game?  Make Dr. Wily boss! Could you imagine how much replay it would have with an Intensity setting like the Fiend’s Cauldron? There was nothing more sick than seeing Sonic show up to defeat Tabuu in Adventure Mode.

      And I just got started! This game has a ton of unlockables to obtain, and it just seems to have a certain charm to getting them too when it was still fresh and new. I don’t know why…it just felt a lot more special to unlock characters in this game.  I feel that Brawl would be an excellent game for newcomers that wanted to get into the series. ….also this game has Snake. That already makes the game pretty awesome.

       

      #3: Megaman 8

      As badly as I wanted to put Megaman 7 up in this spot, Megaman 8 is far more worthy of this list.  I’ve seen people bash this game to kingdom come, yet I’m having quite the suspicion that it’s from people that haven’t even played it yet.  Even Jirard, the Completionist himself, was afraid of playing this game due to how ugly the cutscenes look alone. And yes, while the cutscenes themselves aren’t exactly the highest of quality with their rather awful voice acting, this game (apart from a rather frustrating and annoying Astro Man stage) is very solid, and I might even go as far as to saying that Megaman 8 is better than 5 and 6.  Though, again, I do want to stress that Megaman 7 is awesome with its challenge and music and that it’s also an underrated gem for certain despite what Brentalfloss may say in his song.  I highly urge to play Megaman 7 moreso, since it’s in my opinion one of the better Megaman games in the core series. BUT this game is about games that are more underrated—not on games that are underrated and better.  Everyone seems to particularly portray Megaman 8 as scum of the Earth, the absolute worst of the series, and while it might not be the best, it should be worthy of more praise.

      The main thing going for Megaman 8 over 5 and 6 especially is the interesting amount of game mechanics and creativity poured into the levels.  One level that particularly stands out for me is Clown Man’s stage—each room having a little twist or gimmick to it to keep things fresh.  One such room had a little person in the background banging a gong where enemies would fly onto the screen when hit—making you having to be quick on your toes…er….metallic feet and to time yourself for the onslaught of robot clowns that can appear. Another room had little boxes with O’s and X’s where you had to make sure you were stepping on the right ones while fighting enemies.  Other levels feature things that freshen things up that kind of remind me of Battletoads.  I recall a rather cool portion with Frost Man where you were riding this board at a very fast speed, with in-game prompts to either JUMP! or SLIDE! at a second’s notice.  Fail to make an action in time and it’s death for you!  Not exactly the most forgiving of Megaman levels but…hey. Megaman never really was the most fair of series, right?

      Who needs enemies when you have insta-kill spikes, am I right?

      Then the game even throws in portions where you play a shoot em’ up with Rush, even having a Gradius-type boss for a Dr. Wily stage!  One of my favorite levels in the game was in regards to Grenade Man’s stage with its obsession with explosives and timed bombs.  It was a level where you couldn’t just blindly blast through it, and you had to think a little bit and take some calculated jumps before pressing on.  The bosses themselves are really well done, some of them having multiple phases or causing the battlefield to even change!  One boss in particular I thought was fairly clever, being strung up along the ceiling and popping out in a slightly random order, forcing you to think on what weapons you have to defeat it with since your Mega Buster can’t reach it. This means that you have to use the ball item that you kick around with to hit it—an item that you generally never use in the game like at all.  Therefore making you think outside of the box. In my opinion, quite a little bit cleverer instead of in Megaman 5 where the Mega Buster is such an overpowered weapon that it pretty much solves everything.  Lastly, the game is bright and colorful, the controls are top notch, and I just generally feel that it’s more inventive than other titles.

       

      #2: Back to the Future (NES)

      LJN makes a lot of bad games…but honestly? This really isn’t one of them.  Even now, I still find this game to be fairly enjoyable in an arcadey kinda way.  I mean, making a game based off of Back to the Future for an NES game wasn’t going to be easy to begin with.  And, with what they had at the time, I DO very much enjoy the fact that they made things very easy to understand and didn’t make it cryptic as hell as say…..Dick Tracey.  When I played this game when I was really young, I really enjoyed playing it.

      The main criticism that people had to this game is that it has nothing to do with the movie.  And…in a way….I guess… But that still doesn’t mean that it’s a bad game by any means!  There’s been lots of games out there that take lots of liberties and still manage to be awesome! Heck, there’s been games that go out of their way to be different than the movies and are even better than the movies….like this Hulk game I played on the Xbox a long time ago.  While I will admit that a number of the enemies in this game are very….questionable due to a few them being hula hoop girls and massive bees out to get you, but it is kind of clever how they used some of the features from the movie into the game.  I found it cool that they used the photographs of your family members disappearing kind of like a time limit with how you can advance in the level.  And what’s especially neat was the minigames you played later on in the game to represent various portions of the movie—such as being in the diner, trying not to have your own mom to love you, and to play at the concert just to name a few.

      But apart from that, that only seems to be the ONLY criticism!!! And yet people seem to designate this as an awful game…! That’s so unfair!! It might be very polished and it can be questionable with its game logic, but it’s still fun to play!  It certainly is challenging for sure, and a very quick game to pick up and play and figure out.  Nothing is more fun than going around fast as hell and picking up a bunch of points by throwing bowling balls at everything!

      Yes, I might get my butt kicked playing the brutally hard diner game again, but still is a blast to keep trying! And the best part is that it’s fair—if you die, it’s (almost always) your fault.  So it’s a test of skill for certain to get those clocks! The game isn’t impossible either, so it certainly is an incentive to keep trying.  Again, this game really isn’t that bad.  If it was a little bit more polished and put into an arcade, I’m sure that many people would enjoy this game.

       

      And lastly, my most underrated game of all time is…..!

       

      #1: Duke Nukem Forever

      This game is okay, honestly.  It’s nothing amazing, but it certainly did make for a few entertaining evenings of play!  It’s basically equivalent to a popcorn flick.  Nothing new or extraordinary, but still can be worth your time for a fun evening with your friends.  This is that game, and yet people still seem to think that this game is the scum of the earth.  It’s so weird too…of all of the games I play, whenever I say that I legitimately enjoyed playing Duke Nukem Forever, everyone just seems to say, “WOW, really???”  I guess this game is just my guilty pleasure—if anything.

      I will admit that the game could use a fair bit of polishing.  For the year that it was made in, the graphics were kinda dated.  I will also admit that the one thing that really grinds my gears with this game is the atrociously long loading screens I had to go through. (Though, I wouldn’t be surprised if they patched this at all.)  I will also admit that this game demoralizes men and women and can be distasteful to a number people. I will also admit that the number of jokes in this game can very childish.

      And you know what? I can get past most of this since I kind of already expect a game like this to be trashy.  Yet, in a way, this game is trashy fun.  Call me insane, but I found a lot more entertaining than most other FPS campaigns I’ve played in the longest time. It’s a lot more interesting than any Call of Duty, Battlefield, Killzone, etc. campaign than I’ve played.  The game takes you to a surprising number of locations ranging from the casino to the desert to a fast food place to an alien hive to an office…all sorts of places!  The game throws a bunch of cool little fun gimmicks to liven things up instead of shooting the same enemies, such as having a number of minigames to play (such as pinball, gambling, and air hockey just to name a few), being able to grow small like in Minish Cap and go through nooks and crannies in the walls, driving around in a monster truck, and even shooting down some alien ships in a defense mission!

      The best part of this game is that Duke Nukem….is pretty much hilarious.  It’s like he knows that he’s a trashy fun type of game, and he has the best one liners you could think of.  Probably my favorite is when you have to trash your monster truck to go up this tower, as he says, “Aw man, but it had good gas mileage!” Or when you sign a poster and you tell a kid, “Make sure to take your pills—uh—vitamins every day!” I could go on and on…but when you get crazy things like the Duke Vision and the Duke Hologram and so on, you can’t help but chuckle to yourself a little bit. Oh, and the actual gameplay was alright too.  Nothing too crazy, but there were some tough sections and bosses that made you think outside the box. Overall, if you find this game for cheap, I suggest to go for it! Should be fun with some friends if you’re an insane dark lord like me.  Who needs fine dining when you can just pig out on greasy high-cal burgers? With bacon! Lots and lots of bacon! Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm~

       

       

      And those are my underrated games that I feel deserve some more attention and praise! Do you disagree with me? Probably. Go ahead and bash me below! *hides*

      Today’s Ganon Award goes to Werdman24, who guessed one of the entries first on my list! Thanks man!

    • Top Ten ScrewAttack 2013 Moments

      2 years ago

      darkhyrulelord

      MWAHAHAHAHAAA!!

       

       

      Greetings everyone to the annual exciting list of everything to remember of the previous year!  2013 certainly was a busy year for Screwattack with the rise of SGC, Pokemon, Superman, videos, and random awesomeness.  I feel that 2013 was a year of growth and connection for the site, and for the crew along with it.  But, of course, I don’t wish to spoil too much too soon so that you’ll actually read the list! XD If you wish to relive any of the moments I put up, then feel free to click on the title headings!  I’m an awesome dark lord to bow to, am I right?  However, creating a Top 10 list was a hell of a lot harder than anticipated.  So hard, that I feel it would be a disgrace if I didn’t include a massive Honorable Mentions list as well.

      In addition…I have a confession to make.

      I did not see all the SideScrollers and Screwin’ Around episodes last year since I was super-busy with school stuffs (and they take up a /lot/ of time, unfortunately). I apologize.  …I really need to figure out how to listen them in the car…

       

      Three rules:?

      1.     It MUST have happened within 2013! No a few seconds into 2012 or 2014---2013!

      2.     It MUST be a true ScrewAttack moment.  For instance, if…I dunno…Nick went on to guest speak on the Today Show or something about his mad cooking skills, that doesn’t count.  Just because a crew member guests somewhere, doesn’t necessarily mean that it’s a ScrewAttack moment. Like JonTron being a speaker for DYKG? That’s not a “true” JonTron moment. At least, in my opinion.

      3.     Only ONE SGC moment allowed. Sorry... Otherwise this list would be filled with them.

       

      Honorable Mentions:?

      To hopefully make up for at least the SideScrollers episodes, I contacted the one person I know who diligently watches them. Of course, that is none other than the magnificent Tom the Iron Man—g1 of the year 2012! (He shall be in italics.)

      Now, before he puts his input, first I want to give you a small story of how badly cyberspace DID NOT want him to contribute!  For one, this blog was supposed to be finished up around the 3rd week of January as my 2nd January blog. ….however….thanks to snowmageddon, I didn’t finish my end until around the end of January or so…and Tom left his data on the school’s harddrive and couldn’t get it back! If only he saved it on his laptop! XD  For some reason, he couldn’t get the data back despite how hard he tried, so he had to try to retype it from memory.  A few days ago, he finally finished, yet his phone acted up on him and he failed at sending me the info by PM and email thanks to cyberspace glitches. D:  At this point, I was determined to have his input since I felt that it wouldn’t be right to post this without him after asking for help.  And finally, after long last, here he is!!

       

      Greetings and salutations g1 Nation! While the “first season” of SideScrollers recently came to a close, calendear year 2013 certainly had some stellar moments full of lolz, surprises, and downright grade A ScrewAttack craziness. Here are some of the standouts me:

      I would be completely remiss if I didn’t start this off with the MAGFest 11 recap from the January 8 2013 episode “Mommy’s Spiked Milkshake”. Easily one of the greatest things about a podcast is the level of intimacy one can have with the listening audience, it’s like radio but the nth degree because it can be listened to on-demand. Having been attending MAGFests since MAGFest 7 (which is when I first met Craig and Chad in person) it was always cool as the other side of the pillow to see their reactions and recaps of what they thought were some of the standout moments. Though I will have to say to hear the office’s reaction to the naming of the g1 of the Year a moment that I particularly enjoyed in a COMPLETELY AND TOTALLY OBJECTIVE WAY.

      *coughs*

      Moving along. A thing that really stood out looking back at this episode in particular was the mixed reaction in the room about THQ filing for Chapter 11 Bankruptcy (oh boy how did THAT turn out) the rumors of the specifications and design of what we now know as Valve’s “Steam Box” (STEAM MASHEEN). Sure we all know about it now and I’d have to say there’s a good number of members of the g1 Nation that are anxiously awaiting its release, but Craig was oh-so-skeptical with good reason. He was quick to point out that with *this* many consoles out fighting for dominance (and the WiiU already out with the bad news of the recently delayed Rayman Legends) that it was starting to look A LOT like the Video Game Crash of 1983. I personally would have to say that the industry has gotten to big to fail, but not so big that all companies will survive with the way consumer preference is leaning. Craig went on to say that a company would die as a result of this oversaturation, and to be honest I wouldn’t be surprise if someone did.

      The episode continue into the recap of MAGFest, Table Flipping for Charity, the massive arcade, panels galore and briefly touching upon “The Wheel of Destiny” and what a moment they spent on that. Funny how The Wheel of Destiny evolved into what we now know as the “Bottom’s Up Cup” and how that has become its own “thing” post-Mario Party After Dark.

      The SideScrollers Newsdesk (hit the music) greeted 2013 a cat smuggling supplies into a Brazilian Prison (crafty kitteh) but the one that stole the show for sure was a young girl spiking her mother’s milkshake with a sleeping aid so she can go on the internet when her were parents unconscious. This quickly turned into a parenting discussion on how Little Mac (his infant daughter McKenzie) would learn to fear and respect parental authority. The idea of “The Tank” music from Battletanks 64 and the old Clip of the Week “The Tank” was brought up and it was suggested that McKenzie got used to hearing that and know what to fear when she hears the music: daddy.

      Jumping forward to later in the month with Janurary 22nd 2013, Rhyme Crimes. It kicks off talking about the videos going up on the site that week and one of them was Manos: The Hands of Fate by a little company called Freakzone Games. HMMMMMMMM I wonder where we’ve heard that name before? :D Let’s just say that Craig reviewing Manos was the springboard that most certainly lead to the development of one of my favorite indie platformers of 2013: Angry Video Game Nerd Adventures. How about that?

      Hard News dives into the announcement of Disney Infinity and all the insanity that can come from it. With all the recent announcements about the expansion packs and ESRB discoveries of Marvel and Star Wars add-ons looks like their wild dreams (that again showed up in the 2014 predictions video) looked like they were too far off. Craig goes onto say that one more company will do this before the market hits critical mass and becomes “just another thing” and the novelty wears off. He claims stake to Nintendo to be the ones to do it, and with the NFC (Near Field Communication) built into the WiiU, it seems like a naturally good guess. Nothing has materialized as of yet, but who knows what E3 will bring for 2014?

      Middle segment, while not full of yuckity-yucks and knee slappers, it was a subject that is so very real – relationships between boyfriends and girlfriends, their friends, and VIDJA GAEMZ. Basically the situation was that Bryan wanted to do co-op Dead Space 3 with his friend. The catch was he had to plan around it when his friend’s girlfriend was out of town. This quickly spiraled into a conversation about striking the proper balance between time with your significant other, time for yourself to decompress, and time for recreation. Also the subject of children with the two proud papas in the room, Craig and Chad on how children can affect one’s gaming habits and the balancing act that comes into place there as well. Like I said it was more of a life lesson segment rather than a knee-slapper segment, but it bares worth listening to for life advice over something that we all can either relate to or prepare ourselves mentally with for later.

      Don’t stop reading! The comedy is still here! If having a dog accidentally run over its owner in a car doesn’t make you go “WTF” at the outset of this installment of the SideScrollers Newsdesk, this one will. Two little people dressed as Oompah Loompahs went around mugging and attack strangers. This lead of course to the name of the episode “Rhyme Crimes” as Bryan, Chad, and Craig proceed to make a series rhyming jokes to the theme of the Gene Wilder Willie Wonka in classic Oompah Loompah style. Pure gold. Give that segment a listen, one of my all time favorite newsdesk stories.

      Jumping towards September 25th 2013 “Sexual Deviants” oh wow was this a loaded episode. I know you’re saying “but Tom, isn’t every episode a loaded episode?” You’d be right but there was a lot going on in here that outside of a post-SGC/post-MAGFest episode this was a jam packed “regular” episode.  It starts off with a barely there voiced-Chad who is still recovering from an allergic reaction he suffered finally defeating Beetlejuice for the NES on Jared’s stream. What a show, what a stream, and boy was Chad a trooper to stay up that late and regale the story for all of us to hear again in his depleted condition!

      The tone changes slightly has the guys pay their respects to Hiroshi Yamaguchi, the former President and Chairman of Nintendo, and they pay their respects in an extremely thoughtful and heartfelt way of sharing their personal experiences and then thing on the fact of how very different the industry landscape would be today if this man never got involved in the home video game market. This quickly turns into a “best Nintendo memory” moments to which I too shared many of the same. Mario 64 also turned 17 that month and Nick, Sam, and Chad debate whether Parker has played it or would be any good at it. Funny enough at the 36 hour Marathon for ScrewAttack’s 8th birthday Parker exclaimed after winning a round of Mario Kart to the room “I beat you on a console that’s older than me!” and Nick’s eyes got as wide as dinner plates upon hearing that.

      The Newsdesk got a story of what happens when you are politician, taking a on a girlfriend that is half your age…….and what happens when you OD on Viagra. You know how in all the commercials that say if you are, how to say this, “feeling the effects” for more than 4 hours or more? Well this guy was taking that little blue pill that Bob Dole was a spokesman for and took more than one so he could “keep up” with his new girlfriend and it cost him dearly. Unable to “calm” himself after the aid of medical doctors…well…let’s just said the two had to part company…literally. The reaction from the guy was hysterical as a mixture of agony and bad jokes at this guy’s expense. Bottom line is the guys came to the conclusion, no matter how box your girlfriend, it’s not worth losing the “little guy” over.

      Oh what a year what a year, though technically not 2013 (HEY!!! *warlock punches*), but the first episode of 2014 before the show went on haitus recorded live at MAGFest 12, a true gem. A splash of newsdesk live, a bunch of Q&A from the audience, and g1 Kainin contributed to the finale in a way that only gave Chad such epic fuel for a fire that he and Sam had planned already. GIVE IT A LISTEN, I will do no justice trying to recap what happened here!

      Back to you Dark Lord of Hyrule! *bows*

       

      Again, thanks so much for your input man!  But….ugh…I really hate to do this, but even though I was *this* close to putting Rhyme Crimes, Chad and Jared defeating Beetlejuice, Viagra shenanigans, and the announcement of the g1 of the year into the Top Ten after witnessing it, I still couldn’t do it (especially Rhyme Crimes, since that was hilarious. XD).  It was incredibly tough to decide, as you shall see in a sec from the amount of honorable mentions I have.  But I shall discuss my thoughts on what Tom said.

      I definitely remember watching that January episode, remembering keyly about Craig’s thoughts about the console wars… What’s sad is that his fears are coming into fruition.  However, I didn’t really want to put a sad moment into the Top Ten…  The Rhyme Crimes almost made it due to how ridiculously hilarious it was. XD  Chad and Jared defeating Beetlejuice MAY have actually made it yet I feel that it’s more of a ‘Jared’ moment than a ScrewAttack moment…since it’s on his stream and such. Although, him talking and recounting about it certainly is a memory to remember. …also I can’t find the full recording.

       

      AT LONG LAST, TOM HAS DEFEATED CYBERSPACE!

       

      Thanks again for your help Tom!  Now there’s Sidescrollers in here! YES!  Here are some of my moments that made the honorary mentions…

       

      Fruit Snack Challenge

      -Brad and Sam duked it out on a battle of fruit gummies as they engorged bag after bag of them. Sam really schooled Brad here, and wasn’t kidding when he said that his colon was like Communist Russia and wanted to eat fruit snacks. However, despite how hilarious and epic this battle (or domination) was, I feel that it couldn’t quite topple the top ten and Brad vomiting out all of those…colorful…rainbow mess was slightly gross and almost matched Ben’s salsa vomit.

       

      Totally Screwed Trash Talk?

      -Going to wrestling that actually matters, Jimmy Woods and Spanky bring forth the matches between SA crew members—and even Ben and Chad battle it out as well as Chad and Sam just to name a few! The trash talk felt like good ol’ fun roasting in good fun that was perhaps even more enjoyable than the match itself! Chad “eats fighting and shits victory”! Although, this pales in comparison to the match of the year…

       

      Nick Lost a Master Ball?

      -While Nick was playing the new Pokemon game, he made the silly mistake of using wonder trade with a Sentret that had a Master Ball equipped. While I have personally made the mistake of trading a hold item away by accident, I still can’t help but think as to WHY Nick equipped that on it—since it didn’t help the Sentret. It’s not like the backpack has a weight limit! Either way, silly Nick got a Master Ball from a friendly g1 and got the greatest Caterpie in the world! MASTERPIE!!  Unfortunately Misty’s worst nightmare didn’t make the cut.

       

      Don't be me!?

      -Another good Nick moment this year that consists of his misadventures with the 3DS, Nick plays the new Animal Crossing with his town called Limbo. However, yet again, he made the mistake of erasing the wrong data file where he lost his town he spent 2 months to build (even though, ironically, it could be found with another player’s 3DS). …at least he won’t have to pick up all of those weeds again? He gave the advice with the quote, “Don’t be me.” This quote almost made the cut, but not quite. It was hard to choose!

       

      Spitwad Technology?

      -2013 was practically the year of Nick Cramer for his father popped in one summer day to introduce one of the greatest inventions to the world—the giant spitwad gun! The crew and him tested out this beast by plastering the wall with a giant ball of wet paper. One must wonder what the spot looks like after several months…would be funny if there was still a hint of paper left. You wouldn’t want to get hit by that thing.

       

      FUNimation Voice Acting

      -The ScrewAttack crew had the golden opportunity to go to the FUNimation studio to be able to take the detailed tour of the place! Lauren even managed to squeeze in one of those Toys R’ Us like runs from Nickelodeon where she ran in within a time limit to get as many merchandise from shelves as possible.  Can’t blame her though, since I’m pretty sure everyone wanted to do one of those. Who doesn’t like free stuff? Although the icing on the cake was when they did the voice acting—which simply was really cool—but the top ten is so great that not even that made the list!

       

      Soda run?

      -Craig and his top team of scientists (which bafflingly didn’t include Wiz, of all people…huh) goes around to various fast food places to see exactly how much soda were in those cups! It was amazing how much ice they put into those massive drinks (although, now that I think about it, it might be the better since Americans really don’t need 60 oz. of soda. The great pig demon, does, however!) and I found this moment to be really good since it captured Craig’s willingness to do cool tests like these the whole nine yards. However, would you believe that it didn’t make the cut?

       

      Cat Music?

      -Earlier on in the year, g1 Echoes gave Lauren the thoughtful gift of the sounds of cat music. Knowing how much Lauren is a cat person, I’m sure she enjoyed this feline gift. Also her reaction of giggling as well as the crew’s reaction was also good. Unfortunately, those kittays couldn’t make the cut.

       

      Pokecrastination

      -Pokemon gets mentioned again, and admittedly was a big part of 2013 due to the Pokemon X/Y craze. In fact, so much so that Craig didn’t work after the day of it’s release, claiming that he went for some family trip or something. (I truly wonder if Craig made an excuse to play Pokemon or not.) Brian became the boss for the day, but then realizes later that everyone was playing Pokemon instead of working! Pokemon did make the list, but this unfortunately didn’t.

       

      Robot Craig?

      -I simply needed to say that Robot Craig needs a return. That is all. For he likes treasure and bootybootybootybootybootybootybootybootybootybootybootybootybootybootybooty bootybootybootybootybootybootybootybootybootybootybootybootybootybootybooty bootybootybootybootybootybootybootybootybootybootybootybootybootybootybooty bootybootybootybootybooty! *crashes*

       

      Shao Kahn and M. Bison's Friendship?

      -Seeing this at the Death Battle panel at SGC, it was perfect to have this alternate ending to the Death Battle between the world’s two greatest and evil rulers! Unfortunately, this funny scene can only be seen on Advantage…so…why not get Advantage and help profit this amazing site? *hides bundle of money in back pocket* It’s great!

       

      Superman vs. Goku?

      -This epic battle released very early in the year would have probably made the cut due to the enormous amount of effort done by researchers, Ben, Chad, and animator for this amazing half hour season finale. The animations in particular were truly amazing and for that brief moment of watching these two titans duke it out! The Earth even gets destroyed in the process!! ….BUT. This really grinds my gears how something from other people caused what SHOULD have been one of the greatest and epic moments of the year to be something of a massive nuisance.  Blind Dragonball fanboys constantly and unstoppingly bicker and fight about this and we alllll saw it coming. I mean, Goku vs. Superman was a fun fight, but we all kinda knew that Superman was going to win due to how ridiculously overpowered he is. And, honestly, I think that Superman is a much less cooler character than Goku is since Superman is so….so…bland and overpowered as a super hero. Still! People have kept this rather annoying raging over the episode for what seems like more than 5 months of denial nonstop.  It’s really sad that I couldn’t put this up on the top ten…due to the amount of effort. Sorry about the rant.

       

      The Amazing Frog

      -Confession, I unfortunately didn’t have enough time to watch all of the Screwin’ Around episodes this year.  However! I did recall them playing The Amazing Frog for the Ouya on their streaming show, and, sure enough, it’s just as hilarious as it is like on Game Grumps when they played it. This game takes playing around with rag doll physics to a new level of ridiculousness and bouncing about on trampolines!  You can even try to claim the crown like in Super Mario 3D World! As great as this Screwin’ Around was, though, it lasted a bit too long to be considered a moment.

       

      Heh....told you there would be a lot of Honorable Mentions. =P But onto the meat and potatoes!

       

      TOP TEN MOMENTS:

      What better way to start off our top ten officially than a mixture of meat wrapped in a potentially cancer causing agent, fake-cheese-spread-in-an-aerosol-can, and one of the most unhealthy foods made in mankind that can survive the apocalypse? Why with a Twinkie Wiener Sandwich of course!  A heart attack on a plate has never been more delectable than may the three-quarter pound bacon cheese triple thickburger. MMM!!! *chows down like a pig*

      Nick and Craig went to go visit Weird Al Yankovich along with trying out the elusive Twinkie Wiener Sandwich that had a Twinkie wrapped around a hot dog topped with Easy Cheez.  Paying a fairly relatively hefty fee for it yet still worth it due to how epic this thing sounds, Craig turns out to be even more destructive than Nick tends to be as he accidentally tumbles the sandwich onto the table right after purchasing it and hilarity ensues. I guess I can’t blame Craig too much for spilling it since the sandwich is so cylindrical and it was on what appeared to be a fairly small tray. Still, that’s like the equivalent of buying like your kid a brand new toy and dropping it like OOPS! XD

      Being the awesome and courageous SA member that he was, Nick still ate it despite its ruined state, mentioning that it tasted a bit more interesting and better than he expected. Now that I think about it, I’m thinking that CRAIG should have eaten the sandwich seeing how he spilled it! Either way, this makes the top ten for a picture-perfect accident scenario that’s just priceless. Non-scripted moments are always good.

       

      Within the new show (that I believe) debued this year on ScrewAttack, it consisted of THE BEST EVER along with THE WORST EVER…both of which are the best ever shows this site has to offer, by the way. With one episode of THE BEST EVER, the SA crew talked about their favorite Pokemon including the Fear Rattata, Geodude, and Commie Chomps, the red Communist Gyarados. …all of which are gen 1 Pokemon. Hmm… Well, couldn’t really blame them since I’m sure I have a lot of gen 1 favorites due to nostalgia’s sake alone. …and that there are a lot of dumb new ones that no one cares about. ….like Lickylicky

      For the record, my best ever is Reptar the Hydreigon who kicked ass! Walter would know. :P Although, funnily enough, it’s female.

      Enough of my musings though. The ninth spot consists of Sam saying that Commie Chomps was his best ever due to how special it was due to the fact that shiny pokemon were new at the time.  He caught it with his original Gold Version game and rose to the top with such a mighty Communist creature by defeating the Elite Four!  He claims that his Gyarados was super special that he got with mad skills and totally didn’t just get it within the Lake of Rage! Oh wait…he just ‘said’ that to impress his friends… Well you know what? I’m going to personally believe that his Gyarados is super special with an iron fist—er…tail!

      It is unfortunate though that he sold his game and was unable to get his amazing beast back…until… By some miracle (and a very friendly g1) Nick obtained Commie Chomps and battled it against Sam without him knowing! His face was fairly priceless when he saw his return. However, the moment that really captures the number 9 spot was when Sam used green screen and smack talked to Brock with his mighty water-flying type at his side hyper beaming the country side! EPIC!  Lance is a gnat compared to Sam and the rage of Commie Chomps!

       

      Food makes the list yet again, but at a much larger and massive proportion when the crew gets the amazing idea of eating two whole pounds of rice krispy treats at night before eating bed between three people! Because if there’s one thing you can count on, it’s that people will do crazy things late nights at conventions. (It was Apex ’13 during the time.) ….You know, I could probably see them being able to do it if they thought of doing that in the morning instead of late at night…but who needs such an early start to tackle on a bunch of sugar and carbs, ain’t I right?  Seeing them all get geared up to eat such a behemoth is certainly one to keep within the books for ’13….especially when they quickly realize how bad of an idea this was!

      It doesn’t take long for the whole crew though to slow down on their eating on the sugary sheet of terror like all eating challenges. In fact, even when Nick somehow finds the magic metabolism to take out nearly a half of the whole sheet, they still can’t manage to finish it! It’s funny too since Ben admits that he doesn’t even like rice krispy treats. …Which is kind of interesting too since Ben seems to be the first person that doesn’t like rice krispy treats… Then again I’m biased since that stuff is awesome!  Kind of reminds me how Craig was going to try to eat a three pound burrito all by himself while three people can’t finish off 2 pounds of treats!

      Anyway I’m getting off topic.  Since the only way to finish the video is if they make all of the food disappear…what’s the only logical thing to do other than Nick’s magical metabolism? Why, to throw it off the balcony of course!  Too bad it seemed that Nick’s metabolism wasn’t enough to do it justice since managed to puke a good chunk of it that seemingly looked entirely undigested. I’m getting really suspicious that Nick didn’t eat all of that off camera!!!

       

      This year saw the debut (I believe) of the “Choose Your Own Adventure” videos where you could choose a hilarious outcome to choose from. …although, let’s be honest here—all of us watch every ending. :P (Or at least I command you to!) While there were some good ones and I was this close to choosing the one where Bryan turns into a sandwich…well…for at least a few seconds before he was chowed down by Chad. XD

      The number seven spot goes to nothing else than Lauren’s masterpiece of g1 Clayvman!  It…certainly is original.  To give you some back story, g1 Clayvman donated a good amount of money towards the SGC kickstarter back in August of ’12 to the point that he earned the Kickstarter reward of getting free lunch with the SA crew….I think.  Well, he went there, and Craig somehow forgot that he was supposed to take Clayvman to lunch—even to the point that they went to Cici’s without him! Therefore, Clayvman got his revenge by asking Lauren to make a picture of him! …or well…at least in my perfect universe. I mean, I don’t know about your dimension where you chose something different! If you didn’t get this choice in your universe then…I guess Rice Krispy Treats take the number 7 spot?

      Well, either way, Lauren makes the drawing and you even get a behind the scenes look of her creating it! It…uh…is certainly very….interesting to say the least.  Memorable enough to get the number 7 spot!  When I first showed my brother the image when making this list, his reaction was like, “What the hell…?” lol  It isn’t enough that Clayvman has…uh…breasts. He has to be pooping as well.  This is one of those moments that gets up there due to how ridiculous it is! XD I wonder if Lauren shall make any more of her artwork in the future? Only time shall tell~ Then again, on second thought, I don’t know what would happen if Lauren did one on me and made Ganondorf do a warlock rainbow punch or something.

       

      Who would have thought that an unboxing would make the list? And even at the number 6 spot?  Well that’s ScrewAttack and Craig for you—it’s safe to say that they can easily have the best unboxings ever.  Craig in particular takes unboxing videos to a whole new level by being a kid in a candy store and being truly excited to open it!  I would have put the Ouya unboxing up here due to how Craig literally finds out how to put the batteries into the controller by chewing on it! XD

      Although, the PS4 unboxing easily takes the cake. It’s pretty much a confirmed fact by now that if Craig sees a new item, he immediately has the instinct to play around and touch all over it.  In fact, when he takes out the PS4, it doesn’t take long for him to put smears on the glossy surface and write a message on it!  It’s funny how he immediately goes for the prettiest thing and tosses the cables aside in favor of the shiniest object (clearly the console itself).  He tosses and plays around with it in his hands—probably making more than just the crew flinch at him marring a brand new console, for I clearly remember a few of you saying so in the comments.

      However, he goes the extra mile and states, “And you can even use it as a Frisbee—“ as he seemingly tosses it to the side with one hand!  Bryan’s face in particular is absolutely priceless when this happens, and it’s great that it was caught on camera. :P  Although I really wished I could see Nick’s face on camera from what Craig told us, since he’s especially known to have hilarious faces now and then for Santa pictures.

      Craig also even manages to get the same reaction from the crew from even pretending to throw the PS4 as a Frisbee again! Even though I doubt that anyone would truly actually want that to happen…unless it gets bricked or something.  Although, a suggestion for the next Shaq Fu destruction could be throwing them as Frisbees. I mean, I have a copy mysel---KEEP YOUR GRUBBY HANDS OFF ITS MY AWFUL GAME!

       

      Easily one of the funniest and best Video Game Vaults of this year lands the list as Nick tries out his hand at surgery!  …Although, seeing how Nick breaks everything he touches, one must kind of wonder who hired him? Then again, as you will learn in a later vault, it seemed that Nick is actually the most qualified to be a surgeon…seeing how some people eat pizzas over corpses and burn their hands on coffee.

      I’ll focus though on the first one where he becomes a surgeon since it started it all! Nick plays an old computer game called Life and Death that…well…really should be called DEATH like Nick says since no one comes out alive.  Since Nick learns things more like doing and would do what any sensible person these days would, he skips the tutorial and gets thrown in the thicket!  With Iphone games these days, who needs tutorials, right?  Well, it ends up being as hilarious as you would think with Nick blabbering about, looking at all of the random tools assorted in front of him with no idea what’s going on. …Kind of reminds me whenever I start a new electronics laboratory before I read the manual.

      Naturally, it doesn’t take long for Nick to end up making a costly mistake and having his first patient kick the bucket.  Also I should probably mention that Nick’s FIRST action was the wrong one…going to show even more to read the manual first. =P It only gets better later on though for Life and Death 2 when Nick becomes a BRAIN surgeon!  Seeing this at SGC was a good time and I’m certain that these two video game vaults will be the most memorable ones.  Thank you surgeon Nick!

       

      (skip to 55:30)

      I find it funny that, despite this particular Mario Party After Dark to be the most….eh…well frankly worst one thanks to easily the worst Mario Party game of all time (Mario Party 9), that this has one of the best moments to come from the past year!  You know, that Mario Party where they ran around in circles for 15 turns and where minigames don’t pop up like normal after every turn? (shakes head)  This Mario Party After Dark had the great guest  of Ian, otherwise known as Brutalmoose, to join the fray! If you haven’t seen his videos, I highly encourage you to do so since they’re a blast! One of my favorites was easily his PrisonTycoon 3 with prisoners that treat working out as if it was a religion.

      I tend to get off-topic a lot. I guess that’s just my evil genius at work who wasn’t at all bribed by Brutalmoose for advertisements!  Anyway, when Ian and the crew played the game, Ian wasn’t doing so well in the sta—OH I MEAN—silver stars department since he wasn’t winning as many minigames as he should. (Friggin Mario Party 9…) However! SURELY Ian could win in Bowser’s special minigame where you win by losing!  Well, the whole time Ian thought that it was just any old normal minigame and aimed to win.  So he was giving advice to everyone to use the D-pad and trying to get to the bottom first, thinking that he was supposed to avoid the spikey balls.  He cheered so hard when he reached the bottom, finally thinking that he finally won the minigame!  However, it didn’t take long for him to figure out that he was supposed to lose and for the whole crew to realize that Ian had the wrong mindset for winning!

      It was kind of ironic as well that they were recently talking about their favorite Mario Party After Dark Moments and then one of the best ones popped up out of the blue!  I managed to talk to Ian at SGC about this and he said that he was so drunk that he didn’t even remember it. XP Almost makes me wonder if Ian would still win that special minigame if he knew he was supposed to lose.

       

      This moment right here is why you wait until January of ’14 to do the top ten moments of the last year, for this moment literally came into play on the very last day of ’13!  I was almost kind of wondering if we were even going to have one in ’13…but it seemed that Craig saved the day and brought back the glory of the SA Royal Rumble!  For those of you that don’t know, the SA Royal Rumble is where 20 contestants in the SA world (including the crew, AVGN, Boomstick, etc.) duke it out in a Wrestling arena and try to push each other off the arena! However, they also include a special guest within the twenty that is the g1 of the previous year. And since the g1 of the year is 2012 is Tom the Iron Man, he was in the 2013 Royal Rumble.

      The match itself was fairly epic and I was almost thinking that Evil Craig (who was naked, lol) might win, but it boiled down to none other than Ben and Tom himself!  It was insanely close and even Tom himself was barely hanging by a thread near the end, clutching to the ropes! However, history was made as Tom pushed Ben off and became the first ever g1 to win the SA Royal Rumble!  Such incredible luck for this to happen is amazing out of 20 contestants, and just goes to show how much of an Iron Man Tom truly is. …and that I find it a little bit ironic that I put this moment so high up here on the list when he did a slight collab with me to help find certain moments I may have missed.  And no, I did not get bribed by him to put this up here—I was going to put it relatively up here even if he didn’t collab. *quickly stuffs bundle of cash in back pocket*

       

      This moment is one of the key reasons as to why you should get Advantage on this site, for it can only be viewed if you are an advantage member!  The actual E3 Overtime that the crew usual does is easily one of the funniest ones (even with the absence of Purple Pikmin Reggie) and probably could come close to making the list but…no.  The advantage content easily takes the cake and reminds us all that ScrewAttack puts some flavor and heart into their content instead of being super professional like other sites. ….which is kind of silly that such a concept can be grasped from the crew trying to do a masturbation joke.

      The outtakes for this video consists of them trying to keep a straight face by doing a simple gag…yet they continually fail to do so for the longest time and it’s absolutely hilarious!  I cracked up for the longest time during this outtakes video and how they couldn’t stop laughing for a few seconds for a single take.  When Sam keeps a straight face, Chad ends up giggling and then vice versa happens. XD  This video was also produced during a time when the crew was trying to get ready for SGC and were in a bit of a time crunch yet they were so backlogged trying to take a single shoot for a 4 minute video.  ScrewAttack is so cool that they can manage to squeeze in a video or two for you in the midst of setting up an awesome convention! …and speaking of conventions…

       

      SGC was so big that I probably could have taken at least six or so moments into this list, but I tried to limit myself to just a single one.  For instance, seeing the glorious Ganon cosplay costume win the competition was great, and the reveal of KI3 for the mystery game was also pretty intense.  However, I feel that I’ve chosen the one that I’m sure most of you would remember the most, and the one that most people probably attended the most.  That’s right!  Mario Party After Dark gets another spot on the list!

      The Mario Party After Dark for SGC ’13 was going to be pretty big, and the line for it was absolutely insane—filled with people with shirts of red for Team ProJared (the best team, by the way *runs off*), green for Team Chad or Team Denver, purple for Team Sam Swag, and…uh…other shirts for the mystery guest since there wasn’t a color announced until the actual thing started.  Speaking of the mystery guest, I was guessing that it was going to be James Rolfe himself since they hyped it up a bunch and I thought it would be perfect—seeing how he drinks and cusses like a sailor (Make it happen!!).  However, Destin was the mystery guest…which actually makes a bit more sense since he has more history with the other people and they can lay down smack better.  This Mario Party after dark was insane, and the crew planned it incredibly well by having four rows of seats for the different teams. …I kind of feel bad for Destin though since his row of seats were practically not filled up.  Then again, he DID give Bowser a ton of his coins without thinking. *facepalms*

      The whole game was incredibly epic with everyone cheering for their favorite teams and backstabbing amongst other players was commonplace.  The game was as heated as ever with them playing in Luigi’s F***room and there were only a mere two stars in the game—meaning that coins was the biggest factor of the game to win.  When Jared went up and said “This is the best Mario Party After Dark ever!” I felt that this was the best moment of the entire year.  Why? Well, during that moment, perhaps every g1 was watching this and felt the most excited for this competition with their hearts and cheering being out there…as if it was a sport I actually cared for.  Also, it was the highest moment of SGC and certainly the most memorable that I’m sure shall bring others back to the convention.  And, most importantly, it was the most FUN moment of the year—which is what ScrewAttack is ultimately about in the long run and bringing gamers together.  …who knew that masturbation jokes and people cussing each other out would make the top of the list?  Still not a porn site.

      ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

      Thanks for reading!  Today's Ganon Award goes to g1 Canadian Brony for his list on how to wait for Pikmin 3! ...you know....for people like me who can't afford a Wii U yet?  I COMMAND YOU TO READ!  READING IS GOOD!  Except for the Scarlet Letter....that book sucks.

    • Top Ten Personal Overrated Games

      2 years ago

      darkhyrulelord

      MWAHAHAHAHAAA!!!

       

      Greetings fellow dark warriors…er…I mean… *cough* princesses from my usual return from hibernation to bring you more of my greatness for you to casually glance at, scroll down to see what number 1 is, and then bark at me without even bothering to explain my reasons. …wait…what? You’re actually reading this and saying that you’ll read through the entirety of my blog like a good little min—er…friend and leave a juicy comment that will still bark at my number 1 choice? Then that’s even better!

      Joking aside, today I’m going to go swimming in more treacherous waters and dive right into the topic of overrated games. NOW, in order for no one to be upset (or at least try to), I shall attempt to focus on the actual definition of ‘overrated’ in order to try to soften the blows. According to Dictionary.com, the definition of overrate is:

       

      “To rate or appraise too highly; overestimate”

       

      Seems fairly simple enough of a definition, but for the purposes of this list, that’s a very bland and vague definition in order to qualify something as overrated—especially when different parties are involved.  (Geez I feel like I’m back in my moral ethics class.)  Suppose that a game got a 10 on IGN.  Should I consider the game to be overrated if the user score was a 5? Or how about the other way around? No, since this is a personal list, I’m going to derive a game overrated something that is:

       

      “In my opinion, something praised too highly or given too much merit and worth by the main demographic and reviewers combined.”

       

      Now, an overrated game to me can most certainly still be a good game, just one that I feel may have been given too many blessings or praise I highly disagree with or just…don’t get.  Perhaps it’s that I missed something, or perhaps I just have poor taste, but either way, I’m here to tell you my Top 10 Personal Overrated Games that I feel just aren’t worth the amount of homage to. I shall try my best as well to give my full reasoning towards my choices as well, and give any disagreements I have with the popular opinion by expressing my experiences with the game.  Who knows? I might be able to convince some of you out there as well. Or perhaps not, I’m fine with either, honestly. Allows me to have to have a wider view on things, or maybe someone will point out some things I missed that may change my mind on a game or so.

       

      Therefore, here are the rules for this list:

       

      1.     One game per franchise.

      2.     No easy targets in order to make a more interesting list. This means games that are insanely popular but looked down upon—such as Dungeon Keeper or Angry Birds. I want games on my list that especially many gamers praise highly but for one reason or another, not so much for me.

      3.     I must have given the game a fair shake in order to be able to give enough on the subject. I may have quit some of these games in frustration or some other silly reason, but I have played more than long enough to have got the gist of it, or at least more than halfway.

       

      And that’s about it. Whatever, I’m just digging a hole for myself. LET’S GET STARTED!

       

      10. Castlevania 2: Simon’s Quest

      I have to admit that making a list to have no easy targets AND to have games that people praise overly for was a bit difficult. Admittedly, this game really isn’t that overrated since a bunch of people who have played this game feel, like me, that this game is absolutely garbage is a disgrace in comparison to the Castlevania NES franchise.  Yet, for whatever reason, some people still think that this game is at least ‘OK’ (and I personally think that nostalgia has something to do with it, since I played this game when I was about 16 instead of 5). And, to me, this game has very, very little merit to it after I beaten it.

      To me, the ONLY merits that this game possibly has are its music, the visuals and graphics of the Transylvania atmosphere, and it’s balls to try to do something different versus what happened in the original Castlevania game where it was very arcadey and linear in structure. …and…unfortunately…that’s about it. The rest of the game is poop.  For those that may say that this game has benefits otherwise, I’d really be interested to know.

      I did beat this game, and I was severely disappointed and slightly outraged at how much they messed this game up.  I /might/ be able to loosen up slightly if they fixed one major problem that the game had---TO MAKE IT A GAME. Here’s what I mean… If you die in this game, the only penalty you get is that you lose hearts…and that’s it. You don’t go back to a checkpoint or to a starting town noooo you merely lose your currency. That’s a bit more of a massive nuisance than a penalty in a frail attempt to pad out the game length.  If there is /one/ thing I dislike when it comes to games, its grinding.  This game would actually be more of a challenge for me to /care/ about not to get hurt if it meant that I didn’t practically have infinite lives. It’s one thing to try to go in a bold new direction, but it’s another to make a ‘game’ where the fun and challenge from the previous games are nonexistent.

      So already we barely have a ‘game’ here where we can’t die, so that’s a great start, but it gets better. The AVGN hits the nail on the button on most of the horrid amount of crypticness and other annoying nuisances the game had, but he neglected to mention one thing that really ticked me off—which was the really bizarre map structure of the game, you see. If you go left on one screen, you go to a new screen. Makes sense. But in this one place, of you walk right of that new screen, it takes you to a whole new screen in order to progress through the story? What the hell?? It’s fine if you want the player to explore around and such—but it’s a whole another story just for your game to make sense!

      Many of the enemies and hazards in this game are very lazy…much like the game except. New towns and dungeons are boring, and offer very little anything new to each of them other than a new color palette. There are very few bosses in the game, and overall the game felt like a very easy chore to go through. Oh, and many of the enemies are recycled from the first game.

      Having a game that forces you to look online for every little tidbit, along with poor design choices, forceful grinding, and overall lazy game design makes this game be in the number 10 spot. You might bash Lords of Shadow 2 all you can, but at least that was a /game/. Castlevania 2 barely scrapes by with one, and deserves very little merit. It isn’t a bad Castlevania game—it’s a bad game in general, and worthy of the number 10 spot. It’s only number 10 since I’ve seen many who see this game not very highly as well. Skip Castlevania 2 and go straight to 3—you WILL NOT be disappointed.

       

      9. Final Fantasy XII

      Oh good gosh, where do I begin… As much as I was very tempted to put the original Final Fantasy up here, I have certainly not given it much of a fair shake, and merely went through a few battles, and got confused in the first town as to what to do before even reading up the instruction manual or whatnot.

      However, I most certainly have given Final Fantasy XII a try and I’ve put 28 hours into the main story line, and got stuck at this…moss…boss…thingy that put a crapton of status effects on me. So, I have no idea exactly how far I am in the main story, but 28 hours is a lot.  I’m putting Final Fantasy XII up here since this a game when people considered the Final Fantasy games to at least be semi-good before XIII came around. But…to be honest, I really didn’t care much for XII at all.

      Some merits that this game has is that it certainly looks very pretty on the PS2, and has a GINORMOUS world map with tons of quests and monsters to hunt. ….too bad that it’s not worth exploring. Unfortunately, to me, that’s mostly the extent to this game’s merit.

      The first glaring issue I had was that the GAME PLAYS FOR YOU.  This game moves so quickly with so many AI partners that you are unfortunately practically forced to use this ‘glyph’ system. Basically what this system does, is that you can program everyone in your party to do certain actions or attacks according to the scenario so that you can just sit back and relax while the game does the work for you. ….where’s the urgency in battle from that?? Strange too, since this game has battles in real-time, yet all you really need to do is to just wait for the game to finish off the attacks—you can’t dodge or anything—simply watch.  Therefore, this game works out like a massive, boring ass movie where you make some strategic things here and there.  This practically ruined the game for me.

      Another problem I had was that I absolutely was lost in the story, and didn’t care much for it. It’s been a while since I’ve played it, sure, but I do recall being awfully bored at the characters like Vahn, remembering this rabbit eared chick, and a pirate with a gun. The cutscenes dragged on relentlessly long, lost my interest very quickly, and practically turned me off from the franchise, it seems, since this was the only Final Fantasy game I’ve played to date.

      Another glaring issue is that bosses have WAAAAAAY too much HP, even for an RPG. It’s atrocious! It doesn’t make them harder or anything—just way more time consuming to defeat. Some battles take an hour or so to defeat as you slowly whittle their HP down. I raged quit at this one boss that just seemed to put status effects on everyone and my levels were too low—probably because I was keen on trying to get the game over and done with, sadly.  Oh, and you will be forced to grind if you hope to get past some certain parts. Defeating the same enemies over and over just to beat a boss sounds like fuuuuuuuuun…right? I feel like Stickman now.

      Final Fantasy XII to me is one of the most boring RPGs I have ever played, and highlights many of the main problems RPGs could possibly have.  Personally I don’t see this game holding much merit other than how pretty it looks. I put this on the number 9 spot since there were some Final Fantasy fans who also griped about this one possibly being the worst in the series due to it playing for you at this Anime club I went to. I do intend to play FF6 (or 3, in the US) since I feel as if I just picked the bad apple, but this game doesn’t help me get excited as much as others make it out to be for the series.

       

      8. Assassin’s Creed 2?

      This one will probably be a shocker to some people, but this one pained me just as well to put on this list.  Assassin’s Creed 1 was OK when I played it, but others hyped up the sequel like there was no tomorrow so…naturally I expected great things from AC2. Thing about though is that…I also found AC2 to be OK. I mean, it certainly wasn’t a bad game, and fixed a few issues from the first game here and there, but it also lost some things in the process (which I will explain later) that I thought made the original fun. Basically what I’m saying is that, while good, I find AC2 overrated. I just wasn’t really that excited for it as other people and I would /not/ put close to my top 30 games list anytime soon.

      Let me explain: This game is still good in the sense of presentation. The graphics look clean and nice, with tons of detail added in, the music (while not memorable…) is very atmospheric to the renaissance Italian era, the voice acting is very spot on, and the game certainly has a very good opportunity with the setup of the story. Also, Ezio can swim. THANK YOU. It was the silliest thing for Altair to be the most hardcore assassin yet he couldn’t swim…

      Yet, the presentation can’t cover up an overall disappointing game with gameplay that was overall…eh. The game had potential, where a wealthy family kills off the assassin’s family, and now he must hunt down them all and become the ultimate assassin—while stopping a cult in the process. Sounds cool on paper, but the game diverges from this often to where the actual assassinations take a side to the various other types of ‘eh’ missions.  The only ones I particularly enjoyed was where you went through temples and dungeons to find tombs—making you use your brain to solve puzzles and do some neat platforming sections and such that I wish made a return to the Assassin Creed series, since they were absent in AC3.  The rest of the side missions are all either ‘go here and press a few buttons’ or ‘collect this crap’ or ‘make your town better by spending money’ or other things that are just…eh…and don’t add much to the story.

      The assassinations themselves don’t feel as cool or tense as they did in the original. In the original, you literally had the whole town up in alarm with some kickass music.  Every assassination felt like a boss fight (albeit, easier and more simple than I’d like…) where you had to plan out your attack, and hell breaks loose after the assassination. In AC2, this feeling of intensity feels gone, and the people you assassinate are more forgettable than ever.  Heck, even the final boss fight was a joke.  Your overpowered character also makes the game a breeze, and I’ve never been close to dying even once.  Combat is highly button mashy and even though you have a ton of various gadgets you can use, your standard one works /too/ well to where everything in your path is target practice.

      Also, something that really ticked me off is that a section of the story is cut out for DLC!! You literally jump straight to the final boss of the game after doing a collectible hunt (similar to Windwaker…and Metroid Prime…hated those parts) where it just feels really gutting and anticlimactic. All of these minor things piled up to the point that I just don’t feel that magic with AC2, thus fitting a spot on this list.

       

       

      7. Borderlands 1?

      This game is also in the similar vein with AC2—a good game yet one with core gameplay that just isn’t as thrilling as everyone claims it is.  However, this game is a little bit higher on the list since…frankly…I probably would rather play AC2 than BL1 and the amount of praise BL1 gets and the GOTY awards it obtains is a little bit ridiculous.  Perhaps it’s that I just played an absurd amount of time to get the platinum trophy (which was about 140 hours, by the way) or maybe it was the fact that I played mostly alone or without a mic, but I still feel that this game has flaws that others don’t bring up when they praise this game incredibly highly.

      I feel that the game is good, however, in the sense that there is plenty to do for those that are willing to go through with it.  The game will easily last a little under 30 hours for the main story, there are side missions galore, and a bunch of DLC….almost…/too/ much DLC for the ridiculous amount of time it takes to complete the arenas. The presentation for this game is very interesting, to say the least, using a distinct comic book like appeal.  The crazy amount of guns you can use is also a neat addition to affect different playstyles and certain situations, and the various types of minibosses you can randomly run across—especially the first time playing this game to give you the sense of dread and danger the world has. In addition, this game is a good game to play with other people and just have a friendly chat, without having to pay too much attention to the gameplay.

      But yet, there is so much that bogs me down when playing this—especially when playing alone. The main problem with this game is that it gets old horribly quickly. There are virtually only a handful of enemy types in the game. Yes, there are many variations of said types, but their attack patterns are practically all the same.  Therefore, it quickly becomes a chore to mow through these enemies just to reach the end of something once you know how to defeat them all.  The worst case was one DLC pack where is only one warp point, and you had to go through the SAME enemies over and over again if you wanted to reach one point in the map, making it a massive drag.

      Gameplay in particular gets horridly drull and brain-dead to the point that it just consists of going from point A to point B, shooting anything in your path that moves until their HP drains to zippo.  It also doesn’t help that, much like Castlevania 2, there is practically no penalty for hitting the bucket. In fact, there’s arguably even kess of a penalty for dying in Borderlands, for you simply go back a few feet, lose some money, and try again. That’s it.  Money is kind of pointless in this game anyway since you find better stuff out in the wild and you’re just going to get it back and more as you level up and such anyway.  What’s even worse is that the gameplay is so dulled down that it practically is impossible many times to avoid damage—boiling down to just shooting stuff in sight without a care in a world until the game decides it’s fine for you to move on after all of the enemies are downed.

      The story is also stupid, and generally just a poor excuse for you to press on to do more missions that force you to trek through more areas with things to shoot. A lot of the bosses are kind of lazy, and I literally defeated one by just punching it in the butt over and over again until he died with Brick.  The characters are all just there as places for you to take up missions from, and the only memorable ones are Claptrap and…uh….Scooter….and….Moxxi? Yeah…. At least they all got more fleshed out in the sequel.

      This game is a massive grindfest, and the ‘gameplay’ it has gets dull fast. It’s basically the equivalent of a bland dinner you eat at the table with your family—no one cares for the food itself—just the presentation and the interactions with the other people.  Game of the Year? ….ehhhhh…no.

       

      6. Marvel vs. Capcom 3

      Now--! Let me explain! While I think that the actual fighting mechanics and technicalities and tight controls for this game are spot on (well, I would like a block button but whatever), with clolorful graphics and deep character movesets/combos being well done, and  the game being very fun to play against each other (even though I suck hard), this whole game feels…empty and lacking otherwise. Angry Joe hit many of the same points as I did in his review—of my feelings of how unfinished this game was, and how disappointed I was at just how barely minimum everything felt.  And yes, while I am a horrid noob when it comes to fighters that aren’t Smash, I can still enjoy them.  Like, Mortal Kombat 9, for example.  It took me /ages/ just to be decent at the game online, but I loved that game to bits thanks to all of the amount of content and modes they poured into it, and made me truly and actually care for the franchise. Marvel vs. Capcom 3 on the other hand….not so much. I feel as if MvC2 is either much better, or just as overhyped as MvC3 is with its glowing and raving reviews.

      I bought this game at launch and me and my brother were disappointed.  The single player was horribly barebones, with you fighting I think like 6 teams, and then Galactus. No awesome story bits that would combine all of the Marvel and Capcom characters together interwoven into an epic campaign. With CGI cutscenes and various bosses…well…basically like what the teasers showed similar to ala The Subspace Emissary or something—at least something a little more than a simple Arcade mode!

      Oh, and perhaps the NUMBER ONE biggest problem that this game has—is that there is no tutorial mode. This is a very difficult game to adjust to and be a decent fighter at, with its incredibly fast paced action and the myriad of moves you can do.  So fast, that you’ll get your ass handed to you on a silver platter unless you know what you’re doing!  The closest thing you get to a tutorial in this game is a crappy challenge thing where you have to attempt to follow strings of commands correctly. But it doesn’t even tell you the proper timing to do so, and forces you to look up the menus again and again to see what you have to do. Just putting the name of the special move doesn’t help! I NEED TO KNOW HOW TO DO IT!! It’s like going to some fancy pants club and then they ridicule you just because you don’t remember one of the many rules of etiquette or something silly. It’s bullshit. (And trust me, we’ve all been there…) At least give me a fighting chance by teaching me how to play the game…

      Oh, and the online mode is also lackluster. The only way you can ever find a match, is if you use a backwards way of going into arcade mode and then putting matchmaking on. Otherwise you will be forced to sit and wait in lobbies. ….waiting…FUN.  Oh, and you’ll also get beaten to a pulp unless you know your combos because only pros have the patience for that, I guess. And don’t even get me started on the controversy of Ultimate MvC3…

      Basically, while the actually fighting engine for this game is great, the whole package and crap you have to go through (or lack of stuff, thereof) turned me off quite a bit, and I don’t think this game is worthy of as much praise as it gets.

       

      5.     Metroid

      If I wasn’t restricted to the one game per franchise rule, I would have probably placed Super Metroid up on this list.  Super Metroid—especially on this site—is raved by practically by everyone, and consistently named the absolute best Super Nintendo game hands down. Although, they neglect to mention the periodic backtracking, and the many ways you get stumped by the smallest things that force you to practically check everywhere as if you’re cleaning up your room, and then the wall jumping area ah gosh the wall jumping area… *shivers*. But even then, Super Metroid is filled with great moments, music, scenery, and challenges to where I personally still think that this game is worthy of most of the praise it gets.

      HOWEVER, Metroid on the NES is a different story. Super Metroid fixed many of the issues that the original had…while…Metroid practically gets hailed as one of the best NES—no games period of all time.  You might think it’s unfair to treat Metroid that way since…well…it’s an earlier NES game, but the amount of problems that adds up still can’t help me feel as if it’s a flawed game not worthy of the praise it gets.  I still have yet to finish it due to the amount of gripes I have.  Which is…kinda sad since it really isn’t that long of a game.

      The praise that I agree with this game is that it tries to be something different at the time—to have a non-linear path to explore from, to upgrade stuff with your character with, to have a variety of creepy enemies to tackle, along with a feeling of isolation like Alien. Oh, and of course the big reveal at the end. But…to…me…the feeling of exploration is ruined by the many issues this game has.

      The main issue I have with this game is, surprisingly enough, the amount of grinding it takes to get anywhere. You health does not replenish after you die—forcing you to defeat the same little tykes over and over and over again until you finally have enough health to get somewhere. In other words, it’s farming, and Metroid probably had the worst case of it. When I play a game, I don’t want to insert a dreadfully long password just to start grinding…. If I wanted to wait before I played a game, I would boot up GTA V.

      Also, you can easily lose track of where you are in this game, and it doesn’t help that practically many of the screens look the same in areas.  It’s a bit of a nuisance and pain to realize that you can’t go somewhere until you have an upgrade, either, and you have to go allllllll the way back to an area to get it. When I have to constantly look at a map online as to where you need to go, then I just feel like a guinea pig. Or better yet….WHY DOESN’T THIS GAME HAVE A MAP TO BEGIN WITH?  Zelda had it...so why not this one? It’s dumb.

      Many of the screens and world maps seem highly similar to each other, losing lots of their sense of discovery when you get to them.  This game is just so big with so many samey things that I got a bit bored as I trudged on. Oh, and the bosses are kind of lame, too. Just hit them repeatedly with missiles and you’re good to go.  I also wish that this game had more good music other than the main theme. I know that it’s a bit more for an atmospheric effect…but still.  When I enter a new area and quickly realize how enormous it is, I want to say something along the lines of, “Sweet! Can’t wait to see what else is there!” like Paper Mario or something, versus, “Ugh…great. …more.” like Metroid.

      Samus feels slow to get anywhere, and there’s a lot of climbing going on as well with repeated screens that get old quickly.  You can’t crouch and shoot…and your controls feel highly limited. Perhaps I’m being highly biased since this was an earlier NES game, but this game just makes me want to play Zero Mission instead—a remake of the original. Zero Mission does everything that Metroid did wrong, plus some—by having more interesting environments and screens and more fast-paced controls.

      At the very least, I can probably say that this game hasn’t aged all that well to me, and I feel that putting this game on the best NES games list is giving this game a bit too much praise. A good game, yes….but a flawed one that the later games fixed.

       

      4.     Zelda: A Link to the Past?

      Much like Metroid, this is another good game (if not great game) that I still think is overrated with the glowing praise that this game gets.  A Link to the Past is a very awesome Super Nintendo game, but, ranking them along with all of the other Zelda games….eh….I probably would place it along the middle. Yet, tons of other people claim that this is hands down the best Zelda game ever made even to this date.  I might see this game as one of the best Super Nintendo games…but best Zelda game? I…don’t think so.

      Personally I think that the later installments, even the ones in 2D had far more flavor and personality in them, with lots of variety and more clever puzzles thrown in.  The main reason why I believe ALTTP is overrated is that many of the dungeons feel fairly bland—especially later on in the game.  Instead of feeling like a whole new area to explore, it kind of just feels like more of the same and a bit of a chore to go through with the dungeons—the bulk of the game. It doesn’t feel like a challenge to go through either—except for possibly the Dark Palace since that’s where enemies could do a decent amount damage.  Basically what this game did was have the same set up as the original Zelda, make enemies a whole lot easier to defeat with a plethora of items, have some fairly simple puzzles…and try to have a weak story thrown in.  The reasons why I find Zelda 1 or Zelda 2 to possibly be more enjoyable is that the enemies are harder, and pose a much greater challenge to you—while this game is kind of a one-and-done deal.  And since many of the newer Zeldas kind of work the same way as ALTTP, it makes me miss the older Zeldas with the true feeling of challenge they presented. The closest game I got to getting back to that challenge type of feeling from foes was Four Swords Adventures…

      Speaking of the story, while yes, it’s classic, it’s virtually an excuse for you to go through the dungeons—that are relatively bland in my opinion to other Zeldas.  The main reason why the newer Zeldas (even in 2D) are more captivating is added on by the effect of a more detailed story that’s so complex and involved, that people can have fun making timelines about them. Oh, and there’s Hyrule Historia too.  Very few of the characters are memorable, and while it did help on making a more cohesive Hyrule, it didn’t do enough—by having lots of no-name people running around in a small town.  Just because a game is old, doesn’t give it an excuse to have a weak story.

      Even with a weak story, A Link Between Worlds fixes many of the issues that A Link the Past have—namely by having more interesting dungeons placed about.  More clever puzzles, different mechanics, etc. riddle the newer game.

      Perhaps it’s that I overplayed this game to death—practically like all of the other Zeldas…but if I overplay the other Zeldas and still feel that ALTTP is overrated, then something isn’t right here.  Yes, this game does have lots of good going for it like overworld exploration, a dark world, and great music, the later dungeons and weak story almost feel like padding—rather than putting their whole heart into it like they did in later installments.

       

      3. Super Mario RPG?

      This one I have a lot of things to say, especially for this site.  I haven’t beaten the game, but I’ve gotten very far to reaching the final level to this alarm clock boss that simply wouldn’t die.  I played Paper Mario 1 and 2, and the Mario and Luigi series and then I heard Super Mario RPG being PRAISED like a goddess on top lists, so I was very eager to get my grubby hands on it.  Luckily for me, it was on the Virtual Console for a pittance of its ridiculous price on Ebay, so I managed to be able to play it. And my verdict? ….underwhelmed…actually. And disappointed. The game was OK, but I found the Paper Mario games to be far superior. …well…maybe apart from Paper Mario 4 but that’s beside the point.

      For starters, this game feels more like a Final Fantasy game than a Mario game, and comes with many of the same flaws that found with FFXII, of all things.  Bosses have far too much HP, you are forced to face off the same enemies over and over again in order to progress, and battles drag on.  And that’s not the extent of it… You options of attacks feel very limited, with characters being far more useful than other ones—and where Peach is almost a necessity since she seems like the ONLY healer!  Enemies virtually all feel the same way, and the same type of tactics work against nearly all of them. Only difference with some of them is that some have more HP than others, or have differently named attacks.

      I did not get much of a ‘Mario’ vibe from this game at all…not surprising since Square helped to create this game.  While I enjoyed having to see new enemies and such in the Mario universe, many of them just feel out of place as if I was watching Zelda CDI games.  The enemies seem a bit too generic and forgettable at times as well—and makes me wish for Koopas or the like. Paper Mario makes new enemies that seem believable in the Mario realm and adds a plethora of variations of past enemies such as Koopatrolls and whatnot. Versus enemies in this game that are just meat shields to block your progression.

      Also the story is really eh. It feels like another excuse to go save the mushroom kingdom, and a case of ‘go find this stuff’.  Only a handful of characters ever truly shine personality, and the most enjoyment I had with the game was going through the 3D platforming like areas.  The combat in this game isn’t as fun as it could have been, and just makes me wish I was playing Paper Mario instead… There isn’t as much quirky humor in SMRPG, and there isn’t much variation with enemies as I would have wished.

      ….also bosses have way too much HP, and can take forever to defeat. Maybe I just suck, or maybe…just maybe…this game is overrated.  This game is basically a mediocre Final Fantasy with Mario’s poster slapped onto the game.  It’s OK….but…ergh…

      ….also I still have no idea why everyone wants Geno in Smash.  Personally I don’t even think he’s that great in the game.

       

      2. Battlefield 3

      There are some folk that ONLY play Battlefield 3, and disregard practically any other game as inferior—especially other first person shooters. To me…that’s stretching it quite a bit. And it’s not just those people too—it seems as if Battlefield gets glowing reviews everywhere, and praised relentlessly for its shooter action.  Well, I have played a good 45 hours or so in order to get a lot of trophies and for the most part, I think this game is OK, but anything as good as they chalk it up to be.

      For starters, this game has the most boring and bland campaign that I have ever played. Ever. And we’re talking about 400+ games here, so that’s pretty bad.  It’s as if the game is trying to be so realistic that it just forgets about what fun and inventive imagination is.  Basically what it boils down is, is that you go on some random normal-ass missions where you go from point A to point B, shoot down anything that moves, hide in cover if you are injured, as the game takes a very lame version of the Black Ops story where you try to recount events of where your character goes against his nation in order to save it. It’s fairly predictable, the characters are forgettable (I don’t remember any of them for the life of me), there is only one main villain…and is bland, and (apart from some few very minor exceptions—which also are silly like an airplane demo like level) the missions are very simply structured.  Don’t waste your time with the single player—there is nothing to experience there.

      The co-op is almost arguably worse than the single player. It basically is just the single player except that you must play with another player, understandably enough. BUT, you actually have to find a player….online.  That’s right, for as “groundbreaking” as this game is, you don’t even have splitscreen controls for anything! Someone argued to me that they did that since there’s so much going on that the game can’t handle more than one screen.  I call bull on that since the N64 can handle four simultaneous screens for racing games all the time! And you’re telling me that Battlefield 3 can’t handle it? Pfft.

      Oh, and the flight controls have a massively steep learning curve that will get your head in a rage before you figure out how to actually fly.  Flying is so difficult in this game, that it took me a good 10 hours or so until I could manage to get 7 kills in one match…

      The multiplayer is…only OK.  It gets kind of old fast, quite honestly.  I feel that it may be decent if you are playing with a bunch of people that you know, it may be far better. But without, it just feels like…a slower version of Call of Duty, actually, where you rush into battle and just shoot anything that moves. Yes, there are different classes, but there’s only like 5 of them, and the most important ones are engineer, sniper, and support. Soooo….unless you have a close squad, it just ends up being a mindless shooter.  Just like nearly all FPS multiplayers these days. Well, almost. I actually prefer Call of Duty over this game since it just…plays faster, has a bunch more fun gadgets to it, tries to be more fun by not being as realistic, and has smaller maps.  I tend to like smaller maps since I don’t like simply just running around—trying to find something to attack. It’s boring.  Much like a good portion of this game, making it highly overrated in my opinion.

      …sorry if that sounded horribly biased.

       

      1.     Banjo Kazooie?

      And heeeeeeeeere’s the big one where I’m fairly certain that 99% of you shall disagree with me. This is easily my personal most overrated game of all time. EVERYONE treats this game like homemade apple pie under the sun while I just look at it, wriggle my nose, and say, “errrrmm….no thanks.” I guess I’m allergic to this game? Certainly seems like a possibility.

      There are things I like about this game, but it isn’t nearly enough to save me from the mass griping and issues that plagued this game for me.  Very interesting too since I heavily enjoyed Donkey Kong 64 and enjoyed Conker to a far lesser extent, but I still enjoy a fair portion of it.

      The main issue I have with this game is its saving feature.  For an OCD conqueror like me who likes to 100% things, it’s an absolute nightmare.  The only thing that gets saved from levels are the amount of Jigsaw Pieces you obtain—and only the highest note score in the area. This means that you are going to have to get all of the pieces and notes in ONE. RUN.  It sucks too, since if you die, you have start all over again. It doesn’t matter if you have multiple lives, since I recall you losing all of your top progress all over again!!  For a collectathon game, this is an absolutely miserable punishment you are forced to endure. You may as well get a game over or lose a fraction of your save progress.  Also, the horrid N64 pop-ups for said collectibles are another disaster—forcing you to scour the entire map since things don’t pop up unitl you are right next to them!

      The story for this game is comparably dumb, and offers little incentive to go forth.  Basically it’s this witch that has kidnapped your sister so that she can become pretty and now you have to go in and stop her. That’s it.  It’s silly since, at any time she wants to, the witch can do her business and be on her way.  I’d almost rather have an uglier sister and the witch to look nicer than to go through this mess of a game.

      Everything seems to so mindless in organization in the witch’s place too—making it a chore to go back to places you wanted to go to.

      Most of the collectathon missions themselves are very basic and rather easy. …but the worlds themselves are just designed with instant death. To me, it was like playing I Wanna Be The Guy except now there’s only 10 checkpoints in the whole game. :/  OK maybe it wasn’t that bad, but I had plenty of cheap deaths within it. It also doesn’t help how horribly slow and painful the later stages are—having things like drowning be a nuisance, and don’t get me started on that oil level…  When I reached that far, I just gave up and couldn’t take how much I still had to go through, and never picked up this day since.  Like Metroid, it’s like opening a can of worms that I just don’t want to dive in again anytime soon.

       

      And that is why Banjo Kazooie is my personal most overrated game.  I most likely will give a top ten list to my personal underrated games as well, for there are certainly some underdogs out  there that need more praise than they are getting—not all is doom and gloom in games!  Nevertheless, thank you for reading, dark warriors!

       

      …..also this wasn’t an April Fool’s Joke—I was serious the whole time—thus making it an April Fool’s Joke. HAHA!  Samus has boobs, Anime is in the FF12 pic (CLOSE ENOUGH), Smash is in here for the Jigglypuff gig I have going, Heisenberg in the thumbnail, and Zelda…well…for the Zelda entry. There you go.

      Today's GA--*cough* JIIGGLY AWARD goes to g1 KataWolf for his creation of the banner, for his new video where he tackles Slender! I co--er---sing to you to go watch it!

    • My Best and Worst Games I've Played in 2013

      2 years ago

      darkhyrulelord

      MWAHAHAHAHAAA!!!

       

      Welcome g1s to a new, exciting year of darkness and other evil fun! In order to try to be more active on this site, I’ve decided to try to post a blog every two weeks or so. Sounds reasonable enough, right? It's my new years resolution.

       

      And what better way to herald in a new year than to talk in depth about the previous year, hm? Precisely. I’m going to talk today about what games I’ve played last year, from worst to best, and to give a bit of a sparknotes review on each since I highly doubt that I’ll find enough time to review all of them. Besides, I’m pretty sure that most of you prefer to see shorter reviews anywho. Also, it will give me more time to focus on more fun blogs…like…saaaaaaay the top ten best SA moments of last year?

       

      So, without further ado, it’s time to delve into my gaming history to see what games you should play or avoid! Yes, I know that many of these games weren’t actually released in 2013. GAMES TAKE TIME TO CONQUER, M’KAY??

       
      Killzone 1?

       

      How did I get it?

      -This game was part of a Killzone Trilogy pack that my mother treated me to one day.

       

      How much have I played?

      -Longer than I would have liked. A good 13 hours or so. I did beat this game on hard mode, but I’m going to have to beat the game 3 more times plus some other knick knacks to get the platinum…

       

      The good?

      -There is a lifebar for a FPS. Why can’t more FPSs have this simple feature?

      -Rico and Hakha are fairly funny when they contstantly bicker at each other. HEY I’M TRYING!

      -The game functions. The controls work fairly well when I honestly think about it and any deaths you have are (usually) your fault.

      -It admittedly is a little satisfying to take out the enemies down.

      -There are some admittedly cool guns you can get later in the game, like the laser designator.

      -This game is challenging. When you beat a level, you certainly do feel like it’s an achievement…for better or worse.

      -At least there are different environments to change it up a little…kinda.

       

      The bad?

      -Oh gosh where do I begin? That’s not a good train of thought.

      -The levels are generally incredibly bland and grey. You honestly couldn’t get closer to grey-bland-land if you tried!

      -THERE. IS. NO. MUSIC. Time to rig out the PS3’s music player ability…

      -The AI is either really stupid by staying still the whole time or really cheap by being able to hit you dead on from an extremely long range.

      -There are no bosses. Not even a final boss despite there being a main villain. It’s really sad when the ‘final boss fight’ consists of him running and sending more of the same generic troops.

      -I guess I should give this game some slack since it’s a game from 2004, but it’s really aggravating when a good chunk of the levels are very ‘foggy’ and require you to squint at the screen to see your enemies.

      -There are only 4 or 5 different types of enemies in the game. …lazy!

      -You cannot jump. ….dumb!

      -The cutscenes look ugly and the story is forgettable. At least it really made me want to defeat the final guy really, really badly. I have a suspicion that they may be bad and have poor sound quality due to the fact that this game is a port, but I don’t care enough to find out.

      -This game is just incredibly boring and dull. Take a standard FPS scenario where a bunch of stupid drones try to shoot you. Repeat that about 100 times. You have the game.

      -Some levels are extremely frustrating with the level design. You will feel emotionally drained when you die in a level and have to start all over.

      -Sometimes you die for no reason. I swear. Glitches from old man Snitchez?

       

      The verdict

      -The only reason you would possibly play this is if you are a trophy hunter. …That’s pretty much it. I honestly recommend skipping this dated and bland game and saving yourself the trouble. It really doesn’t add much to the Killzone story….honestly. Too bad I have to beat this game friggin’ four times to get the platinum!!

      -I give this game 3.4 Helghasts out of 10.

       

      (I honestly haven’t played enough of Killzone 2 to get a good opinion of it, especially since the multiplayer I heard is the greatest key feature.)

       
      Golgo 13: Top Secret Episode

       

      How did I get it?

      -I got this game at SGC from Pat the NES Punk himself! As a matter of fact, he recommended it to me after I asked what was a good hidden gem game to play.

       

      How much have I played?

      -Not as much as I wanted to yet. Only about an hour or so. I have only been through a few stages so far.

       

      The good?

      -You can snipe someone. IN AN NES GAME! That does not compute!

      -Certainly a challenging game that will put your skills to the test.

      -A surprisingly lengthy and meaty game for the asking price.

      -There are some differently designed levels in an attempt to try to break it up a little bit. For instance, there are some levels where you go in a shoot-em-up stage to progress and others where you are in this neat first-person section where you have to quickly take down targets and even helicopters!

      -Now that I think about it, your main character is kinda cool. Secret agents are always cool. Perhaps I need to be a secret agent?

       

       

      The bad?

      -This game looks really blocky, especially for the character models. It almost is Atari-blocky levels even, which is really bad. :/

      -Enemies can be borderline cheap, redundant, etc.  The hit detection blocks on enemies also seem to be fairly flawed, and they seem to force you to inch forward in order to not take any damage!

      -The gameplay as a whole can feel very monotonous. Most of the game consists of you just going in one direction, going through a FPS segment now and then, and then shooting some enemies by inching forward a bit.

      -There was one part in the game involving sniping I got stuck at since I didn’t know which direction to aim.

      -The music is merely OK.

      -I’m honestly not very interested in the story. I might need to play more though in case something cool happens, but I doubt it.

      -Fairly cryptic at times.

      -Controls and jumping feel incredibly awkward and stiff.

       

      The verdict

      -There honestly isn’t that much I can say about this game, probably since I need to play more of it. I do like the slight variety between stages, but the core game itself needs a fair bit of work. :/ I’ll give it some slack since it’s an NES game but…ultimately? It really isn’t anything special.

      -I give this game 4.9 snipers out of 10.

       

      Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 2

       

      How did I get it?

      -I got this as a gift from my brother last Christmas.

       

      How much have I played?

      -About 10 hours or so.  I beat the campaign on Veteran and did a few of the Spec Op missions. I have yet to find the patience, time, (and skill and buddies) to tackle the 100% completion.

       

      The good?

      -You can fight at Burger Town! YES! One dream goal before I die has been accomplished. Now if only we could have Burger Town Wars…

      -Some of the locations you fight in the campaign are certainly iconic.

      -Spec Ops is an awesome challenge! It feels very arcadey and is surprisingly filled with a ton of fun of imagination with its sort of stages involved—a hell of a lot more than the campaign offered! You will feel extremely satisfied in comparison by beating those missions as well. Oh, and you can also do it in co-op as well! …now if only my brother could play…

      -Multiplayer is as addicting in CoD as it has always been. Run and gun action.

      -This game has the map Rust. That place is filled with some nostalgia…admittedly.

      -There are some cool Michael Bay moments in the campaign now and then.

       

      The bad?

      -If you’ve played CoD, (apart from some minor things like maps) you’ve pretty much played them all.  Very predictable formula.

      -Story is incredibly forgettable and stupid in the main campaign. It’s worse than Black Ops.

      -AI feels as cheap as ever on the hardest difficulty setting thanks to their pin-point accuracy. You have to squint at the screen often in a futile attempt to get them down first.

      -Ugh gosh…some levels on veteran are a nightmare…don’t get me started on that South American stage…

      -Am I the only person who feels that trying to stop a dog from biting you when it gets you feels…broken? I can never seem to time it…as if they expect you to press R3 faster than a human is possible of doing! Super aggravating.

      -Campaign is incredibly short.

      -Something has to be said when a game like this can spur up anger within me when I can tolerate the difficulty of games like Battle Kid…

      -I did not feel like I accomplished anything after beating the campaign.

      -That airport terrorist stage unsettles me slightly. You know what I’m talking about.

       

      The verdict

      -The campaign for this game is rather painful to go through, but it can have some moments if you have the patience. Spec Ops and Multiplayer, on the other hand, are definitely much more of a highlight…but…why play Multiplayer on this game when there’s better ones to do it on…like Black Ops? This game honestly hasn’t aged very well otherwise.

      -I give this game 6.0 Burger Towns out of 10.

       
       
      Castlevania: The Adventure?

       

      How did I get it?

      -This is a game I also got when trading Xerneas!

       

      How much have I played?

      -Much longer than I anticipated—Easily about 7 or so hours due to this game’s difficulty toward the end. I did beat it, but only after abusing the save state feature from the 3DS, because some of those later levels…? *shivers*

       

      The good?

      -The music is absolutely awesome! Despite dying over and over again, hearing the classical Konami upbeat tunes always got me going. Why not take a moment to listen?

       

      -It’s classic Castlevania gameplay and is (mostly) just as addicting as ever. Jumping over pitfalls, taking down bosses, taking out crows and other frights of the night…so satisfying.

      -The bosses, while fairly simplistic due to it being on a Game Boy system, are different and diverse enough to be fun battling against.  The first one you may be able to take out by just spamming the attack button…but it’s going to take a little bit more skill and practice to take out the other ones.

      -This game is certainly a challenge in the Castlevania sense. If you beat this game, you certainly are worthy of some bragging rights!

      -The game is surprisingly detailed for a Game Boy game. Konami certainly took time to be able to make the right kind of scenery for dungeons and such!

      -The levels all have their little Konami gimmicks about them to make them memorable.  Especially the third stage! So many spikes!!

       

       

      The bad?

      -This game only has four stages. At least they were good, long ones.

      -The last two stages are really edging into the completely unfair side. They were designed to have either the most cheap or frustrating elements in the game wrapped into one package.  The third stage rather over-abuses instadeath spikes up the wazoo in a stage that forces you to keep going without breaks. It’s certainly fairly unforgiving.  The last stage in particular expects you to tackle some extremely tough bosses without break and to beat the final boss as well (and with a bunch of the most annoying enemies in the game that force you dodge these balls of fire that bounce about the screen).  They were certainly challenging but cmon…only 3 lives for this? Cut me a break.

      -The worst thing about this game is how awfully slow and clunky your character plays out.  The game lags constantly as well and you move at a snail’s pace about the screen. Quite honestly this could almost be a deciding factor for the player, and demands them to have some patience.

      -Those damn platforms that drop extremely quickly.

      -Those damn enemies that bounce fireballs all over the screen. I hate them, and they were only created to be annoying.

       

      The verdict

      -If you can get past its slow control and perhaps incredibly unfair final moments, you have yourself a surprisingly entertaining Castlevania game. However, that’s actually a fair bit to try to ignore, knowing Konami’s standards.

       

      Borderlands 2?

       

      How did I get it?

      -I got this game last Christmas. Brand new and all! Gotta love that new game smell.

       

      How much have I played?

      -A very long time. Probably about 60 hours or so to get the platinum for this game.

       

      The good?

      -MUCH more colorful, funny, and imagination placed into this game than in Borderlands 1.

      -Lots of variety for weapons and classes, giving players lots of customization.

      -When the game is challenging and you are at the right level, the game can be a little bit addicting.

      -Probably the best game to play with minions/friends and have a conversation while playing. Now that I think about it, this game is far more enjoyable to play with others, period.

      -I do like the many different enemy types in this game compared to Borderlands 1.

      -There actually is a story this time around. (It’s not great…but there is one.)

      -Lots of little things touched and fixed here and there for a more smoother playing style.

      -Handsome Jack is evil, and you really want to defeat him.

      -Characters are more memorable this time around.

      -Bosses are better this time around.

      -A LOT of content is packed within this game, giving you more than your money’s worth! There’s even DLC and extra difficulty levels for those inclined.

       

      The bad?

      -Do not play this game for long stretches. It will get very monotonous and mind-numbing.

      -What’s the point of having all of these guns lying around if most of them just plain SUCK! It stinks having to read oodles of gun stats only to see that many of them are inferior to yours.

      -Side quests are usually rather dull, and are just another excuse to shoot things.

      -Game can feel very grindy…especially if you are trying to go for the platinum.

      -There really isn’t much of a penalty for dying. Yes, you lose money, but you can get that and more very easily later.

      -The ending and final boss overall are very disappointing (and easy). HURHUR there’s going to be a Borderlands 3! …who would have thought?

      -Story overall just feels…a bit pointless and another excuse to shoot at things.

      -There really could have been more variety for enemies and such. Yes, there’s more than there was than Borderlands 1…but still.

      -Game can be a little boring if you are overpowered. Hooray for one-shotting everything!

       

      The verdict

      -This game is like that neighbor around who’s fun to visit now and then, but you don’t want to live with them.  It is a superior game to Borderlands 2, but it can be mind-numbing after a while. This game is really hard to rank…so I’ll grade it two ways.

      -6.2 out of 10 neighbors if you play for too long by yourself, and 7.4 neighbors if you have friends and play it within good intervals.

       

      I give this game 6.1 incredibly-fast-falling-pitfalls out of 10.

       

       

      Super Mario Land?

       

      How did I get it?

      -I traded a Xerneas to get Nintendo Points to obtain it. I believe I got this game about a little more than a month ago.

       

      How much have I played?

      -About 2 hours or so. I also beat it as well. Very short game.

       

      The good?

      -It’s Mario! And it’s not a spin-off, so you know that you’re in for some good ol’ 2D Mario fun. Plus it makes the game surprisingly…charming?

      -It’s surprisingly quite original with many of the enemies and themes laid through out. Certainly MUCH more so than, say New Super Mario Bros 2.  There’s an Egyptian and a Japan level, for instance! And there’s such enemies like lions, Easter Island heads, and much more! Oh, and you rescue Daisy this time around.

      -The new bouncy-ball ability you get in this game is kind of cool in the way how you can tons of coins really quickly.

      -Koopas explode. THEY EXPLODE!

      -The music in this game is super cool. Remember that tune in Smash Bros Brawl where you go into the ruins? That song is in this game as well!  Kind of surreal to finally hear the source of other themes you’ve heard elsewhere, too.

      -The game moves at a surprisingly fast for a Game Boy game. Just the way Mario should be.

      -Level design is surprisingly solid and the difficulty curve is just right.

       

      The bad?

      -This game is very short. I know that it’s a Game Boy game and all but CMON!  Only 12 levels? Tch.  If Pokemon can pack that ridiculous amount of content into that Game Boy game cartridge, then I’m fairly certain that Super Mario Land can AT LEAST have 32 levels like the original had!

      -The controls for this game feel ever so slightly stiff. It’s a little hard to explain. For instance, trying to steer yourself in the air feels a little more clunky than usual, and the whole game as a whole feels ever so slightly stiff to control your jumping with small platforms.

      -Despite how cool many of the enemies look, many of them can be killed fairly easily.

      -This may seem unfair, but there are ultimately better Mario games to play, even for its time period.  Black and white Game Boy games have its limitations.

      -The game is far too generous with lives. I had about 30 lives after beating the game.

       

      The Verdict?

      -It may be short, but hey, this game is fun, and it’s only about $3 or $4 I think, so why not go down a trip to memory lane? Don’t expect anything mind-blowing though.

      I give this game 7.0 Exploding Koopas out of 10.

       

      Bionic Commando?

       

      How did I get it?

      -The last of the four games that I got when trading Xerneas.

       

      How much have I played?

      -Very, very little. Like, 20 minutes tops.  I only managed to beat the first level so far.

       

      The good?

      -Music is really amazing! Remember that tune in I Wanna Be the Guy? That song is in this game!

      -Capcom made the most of the Game Boy graphics to make the levels look as detailed as possible. It really is a small miracle as to how they did it!

      -The game seems to have a good amount of levels despite that it’s a Game Boy game.

      -Enemies are fun to take out, as well as the bosses.

      -The hacking mechanic seems like a neat feature.

       

      The bad?

      -Steep learning curve for strange controls. You can’t jump, for instance! UrghHhHhHhhhh….

      -Still not sure what to do. I probably should have read the manual…

      -You die perhaps a bit too easily.

      -This game can get very laggy.

       

      The verdict

      -Again, I’ve barely played any of the game, but I can probably already tell that this game is going to be fairly good. Yet, that control scheme definitely takes some getting used to.

       

      Ratchet and Clank 1?

       

      How did I get it?

      -I got this last Christmas as part of the Ratchet and Clank Trilogy set.

       

      How much have I played?

      -A little less than 20 hours.  This was just to beat the game. For some reason, I haven’t 100%ed this game yet.  I know that it’s fairly easy to do so, just a little time consuming.

       

      The good?

      -Controls mostly feel great and especially fluid.

      -Lots of variety placed in levels where you have to shoot stuff, grind on rails, hoverboard in races, etc.

      -Humor can sometimes be genuinely funny.

      -Art style for this game is interesting, and lots of the planets you go to are crazy colorful and zany.

      -Good ol’ classic 3D platforming and fun gimmicks placed about.

      -Game is surprisingly lengthy for the amount of content it has.

      -Practically no backtracking is mandatory.

      -Getting gold bolts to beef stuff up and such is very satisfying.

      -Game encourages some exploration with the amount of secret areas it has.

      -Apart from some cheap deaths, a good number of levels offers some good, genuine challenge.

       

      The bad?

      -Bosses have WAY too much HP toward the end. Either that or I just suck.

      -Gameplay starts to feel mind-numbing after a little bit and becomes a little stale if you play too long.

      -Enemies feel the exact same, for the most part.

      -I almost feel as if you have WAY too many weapons and gadgets to know what to do with—unfortunately causing you to use JonTron’s ‘supremacy rule’. You know…where you only use the most powerful weapon over and over again because it  works?

      -Story feels dumb and unnecessary. It really doesn’t make much sense as to how a good number of missions help you to reach your goal other than to just ‘unlock some new planet’. Stupid.

      -Lots of deaths feel a bit cheap for a variety of reasons…and it doesn’t help that Ratchet dies very easily…and there’s a lack of checkpoints at certain difficult spots.

      -Clank levels feel slow and tacked on.

       

      The verdict

      -If you want to play a more classical 3D platformer with a bunch of weapons and gizmos within it, then this is the game for you. It may need a bit more polish in order for this game to be more than ‘good’, but it’s still fairly fun to play. Although, it really doesn’t add much of anything to the story…really.

      -I give this game 7.2 JonTrons out of 10.

       

      Assassin’s Creed 3?

       

      How did I get it?

      -I got this for Christmas of last year. A little hard to believe that AC4 has come by so soon already…

       

      How much have I played?

      -About 18 hours or so.  This was just to beat the game.  I haven’t spent the boatloads of time required to 100% it yet.

       

      The good?

      -Probably the best ‘American Revolutionary’ game you can play. Perhaps not by the strict historical sense, but more for the ‘fun’ sense—and that’s what ultimately matters.

      -There is a really neat twist near the beginning of the game.

      -Controls are very spot-on.

      -TONS of content in this game, that it’s rather mind-boggling! World maps are packed with collectibles and various locations for you to explore, and there’s a bunch of side quests you can tackle as well.

      -The story is probably this game’s biggest feature. You’ll definitely be hooked until the end to see Connor’s life story.

      -Graphics are simply amazing and feels immersive. I really enjoy the way the land looks in the winter and such.

      -You can hunt stuff! Now if only you could ride the scorpion…

      -A good amount of variety between missions—some requiring stealth while others require you to go all out without mercy. There’s even some points where you can command a ship!

      -Good music that really gets you excited—in particular that main intro theme.

      -Multiplayer certainly puts you on your toes and is a fun diversion. That heartbeat you feel when playing? Kind of gives me the goosebumps…

      -MERICUH

       

      The bad?

      -So. Much. Loading. Ughn…

      -So. Much. Traveling. Ughn… I just want to play the game.

      -Stickman is right. Connor does whine a little bit too much.

      -It may just be me, but I almost feel that a good amount of levels hold your hand too much and tell you what to do far too often.  Also, I do wish that there could have been more assassinations and the game more focused on that, perhaps.

      -This game is also generally way too easy.

      -Boss battles are incredibly disappointing. They’re generally as standard as they can get.

      -The ‘modern day’ missions feel tacked on.

      -Combat feels incredibly button mashy and mindless.

       

      The verdict

      -Even though there is a painful amount of loading and traveling you must endure to reach the good stuff (along with some other rather boring tidbits added), this game is certainly interesting—and not just because it’s set in the American Revolution. …OK well maybe a part of it has to go with that.  If you are itching for a really good Assassin’s Creed game to play along with a good story, then you’ve come to the right place.

      -I give this game 7.4 whiny Connors out of 10.

       

       
      You Don’t Know Jack?

       

      How did I get it?

      -I got this game on Valentine’s Day, of all holidays. I said to my mom that I thought that this game would be enjoyable to play after I saw the Game Grumps episode for it. In order to obtain this game, we had to drive through quite the amount of rain and a bit of a…er…seedier area of Alabama to get but we got it! Funnily enough, my father ended up playing this game with me much more than my mother did.

       

      How much have I played?

      -Probably a good 20 hours or so. And we haven’t finished all of the episodes yet, but we’re getting fairly close.

       

      The good?

      -Lots of good trivia questions ranging from most recent pop culture to the very obscure…like putti. Who the heck knows what putti is? Well besides the great and powerful dark lord, of course?

      -Some of the jokes in this game are legitly funny. …and true. lol

      -The ‘screw’ feature in this game is beautiful. With it, you can drain a person’s score by using it on a question they don’t know—and hilarity ensues.

      -I do like the ‘Wrong answer of the game’ placed in for good fun. Sometimes me and my father try to wonder what it was if we couldn’t find it and it offers some good thinking outside of the box.

      -The episodes are a good length to have enough fulfilling fun with them and to want to do more of them.

      -The amount of episodes and voice content in this game is very impressive with the price I paid for this game.  There’s even downloadable ones if you wanted more!

      -Very simple to pick up for newcomers!

       

      The bad?

      -Cookie Masterson just sometimes needs to shut up and ask the friggin’ question.

      -Some of the jokes fall flat. And yes, there are fart jokes… That’s when you know that they are desperate.

      -The Jack Attack is kind of broken, and gives out way too many points. My father always beats me in this round since it is very name heavy (and I suck at names) despite how much I win from the previous rounds. Also, Jack Attack counts you pressing one the trigger buttons or ANY buttons for that matter as an answer—causing you to lose more money. That’s SO cheap!

      -The later episodes really could have used more variety with types of rounds or gimmicks to keep things more interesting.

      -It’s very rare, but a few of the questions are incredibly misleading or there are more than one correct answers.

      -This game is really barebones when you think about it. Even the art style looks incredibly basic.

       

      The verdict

      -This is one of the best trivia games I’ve played in a while.  There is obvious room for improvement, but it’s still quite a lot of fun to play with a lot of people. I give this game 7.7 Cookie Mastersons out of 10!

       

      Pokemon X?

       

      How did I get it?

      -Hoo boy. There’s some history with this game for sure.  For one, this game had a bunch of hype going up for it.  I ended up actually preordering this game a few weeks in advance when trying to obtain a copy of the limited edition for Windwaker HD since I wanted that coveted Ganondorf statue (even though I didn’t have a Wii U to actually play the game—I wanted the statue more).  Since they were out of copies, I instead decided to preorder Pokemon X instead to save the trip. I got a snazzy Xerneas and Yveltal poster for doing so. Score!

      Now, getting the game, I was up fairly late on the night before the game would release, so I tried my luck and went to the GameStop at midnight. ….they weren’t open. So I tried Best Buy. …they also weren’t open.  Then I decided to say screw it and go all the way to Hoover’s Wal Mart to have it since I KNEW that they were at least going to be open. …well…they were open all right.  Too bad that they didn’t have any copies left! You should have seen those rows of empty boxes…

      Therefore I waited (im)patiently the next day to get the game at GameStop. You’d think that they would have a midnight launch for a game like this but NOPE. Alabama.

       

      How much have I played?

      -Over 60 hours. And this was /just/ beating the game on the Nuzlocke setting. Much of the time was spent grinding for the elite four.

       

      The good?

      -The 3D effects (when they are there *cough*) are purdy.  Having cool 3D animations for battles and such for all 719 perfectly is no small feat.  The moves feel even more vibrant and colorful than ever as well, as you feel the impact of Splash attack!

      -The music is probably some of the series’ best. From gym leader music all the way to simple walking about in some random route. Check out the gym leader theme! It’s awesome.

      -The mega-evolutions are really neat! Especially in design! …I just wish that there were more of them.

      -Speaking of designs for things, I generally like many of the new designs for the new pokes quite a lot. There’s the crazy ones like this sword one to the…goopy ones like Goodra.  I should also mention that there’s a bunch of cool dual typings to be seen about as well, like rock/dragon, for instance. I especially like Hawlucha, the fighting bird. MUCHA LUCHA!

      -Pokemon is addicting.  You can easily suck in tons of hours just playing this game, and there’s a crap ton of content just waiting to be delved into. Tons of Pokemon to capture, lots of post-game content to do… The main game itself felt a bit lengthy too—even for a Pokemon game.

      -A lot of the new small additions to make your life a little easier is an improvement. Pokemon are easier to train, item fumbling is quicker, Pokemon are easier to track down, etc.  Overall the game moves at a much faster pace as well than…say…HeartGold Version.

      -I like the variety in areas you go through. It certainly does help to make the Kalos region more memorable and such, going through some of the crazy gyms. You even get to do some rock climing!

       

      The bad?

      -The 3D—at least for the overworld and not in battles—is very underwhelming. For instance, 3D isn’t even ON most of the time when you’re out in the world? …WHY??? Were they lazy? It’s not like they couldn’t do it! There are overworld and cave sections that are in 3D! This is the only and I repeat ONLY 3DS game I’ve played that forces you to put it in 2D only for many sections.

      -The story sucks.  The only NPC I kinda care for was Tierno…actually…scratch that. I don’t care about him either.  The ‘evil’ team leader was forgettable, most of the game’s formula and stuff (elite four, etc.) were predictable, your rival is lame and not mean enough, and…now that I think about it, people are way too nice in this game (or stupid). I want some evil people dammit!

      -No 2nd quest thing like Gold Version still? Aww…

      -I feel that the game would have been way too easy if I didn’t do Nuzlocke. Speaking of which, the XP share is OP for the wrong reasons. That’s fine if you want to make things less tedious for the player, but if you are going to reward the players for doing so by giving the team even MORE XP for doing so..that’s just…ugh.  Trying to explain, not using the XP share only gives XP to two pokes, but using the XP share does that AND gives XP to the other pokes as well! It’s like if I gave you a Mario game where there’s that white tanooki suit but gave you cookies every time you did it.

      -Only 69 new pokes is a slight letdown.

      -Many cool features from Black and White 2 are absent. Where is the cool World Tournament building? I want to fight the gym leaders!

      -This game ultimately played it too safe. It’s almost the exact same game as Black 2, except flashier and slightly less content.

      -Pokemon Amie is creepy.

       

      The verdict

      -If you’re looking for an addicting same-old Pokemon formula to enjoy your 3DS with then look no further than this game. Just don’t get too into the hype train because this game is good….but not as great as it could have been…

      -I give this game 7.8 fighting birds out of 10.

       

       

      Luigi’s Mansion: Dark Moon?

       

      How did I get it?

      -My brother and I pitched in money to play this game.  It’s somewhat rare to see my brother want a game that badly, so of course I had to get this game! Not to mention that it’s even more rare to have this sequel that seemingly came out of nowhere! I got this over the summer around June, I believe.

       

      How much have I played?

      -About 20 hours or so.  I’ve beaten the game and now I’m trying to find time to 100% it. I’m highly considering using a guide to find those Boos and such because trying to find them the hard way can very frustrating and time-consuming.

       

      The good?

      -There’s more than one mansion this time around! Meaning that there’s more variety! Each mansion is packed full with little secrets and such to try to build your highest money score!  I especially like the different themes and such used for the mansions to make them all memorable with their art designs and such.  Everything is so colorful and such as well…it’s a real treat to see on the 3DS!

      -Lots of imagination was oozed and poured into a good amount of puzzles and enemies (at least most of them). A hell of a lot more than NSMB2, I may add. All of these different kinds of enemies and ghosts never before seen from a Mario game? It definitely adds to the game’s wonder.

      -Prof. E Gadd is a jerk. And I like him for it. (Although he can be perhaps a little too zealous with the talking parts…)

      -Boss fights are memorable and fun.

      -Luigi is always fun to watch in this game with his expressions and such. And yes, you do unlock the MARIOOOOOOO? button!

      -The controls are precise and spot on, and combat feels far more better and in-control than it did in the original Luigi’s Mansion.

      -The music is quite catchy, and I do especially enjoy how it changes its instruments to suit the mansions you visit in.

      -So many hidden goodies are about everywhere in sneaky spots encouraging you to think outside the box.

       

      The bad?

      -Revisiting some of the same mansions for missions may sometimes feel like padding.

      -The vacuum you get later in the game is kind of overpowered.

      -The game feels fairly short. Even if it is longer than the original Luigi’s Mansion, I still feel that they could have added in 3 more mansions, easily.

      -Multiplayer feature feels tacked on and forgettable.

      -There honestly isn’t much incentive to try to get 100% in this game, simply just to beat it.

      -Having the ability for gyroscope looking around for a game in 3D feels counter-intuitive and stupid.

      -Some of the puzzles and fighting may feel a little shallow and too easy at times.

      -The difficulty curve feels spotty. One boss may be appropriately challenging while another may be WAY too easy while another may be fairly aggravating (AKA the ice boss).

      -What’s the point of the stairway thing in the Plant Mansion? To piss you off? All it does is waste time…

       

      The verdict

      -This game was a pleasant surprise in fun, oozing with personality and color and such.  It may be a bit on the short side and may not be perfect, but this game is a fair amount of fun. Although, it could be even better if they just put in some more content and such…and fixed some little things.

      -I give this game 7.9 MARIOOOOOOOO? s out of 10.

       

      Shantae?

       

      How did I get it?

      -Another game I got when trading Xerneas.

       

      How much have I played?

      -Only a few hours. I haven’t beaten the game, and have only defeated the first two bosses of the game.  I would play more, but this game is quite big relatively and I know that it’s going to be a big time consumer to finish.

       

      The good?

      -This game is very colorful with its location and it has quite the interesting art style. Despite the game being a Game Boy color game, it tried to break forth the limitations by adding the most amount of detail possible on the screen. It certainly is very helpful to have this here, to say the least, since there are TONS of secrets and other hidden areas and corridors to go through—Metroid style.

      -At first I thought that the amount of actions you had in this game were fairly limited, to say the least, since you only start out with a basic jump and this hair whip attack.  However, I was definitely wrong as I played more and learned that you could later transform into different animals and creatures with this new dancing technique you can get later on in the game.  For instance you can be a monkey and climb up walls and such!  Now if only you could transform into a demon king…

      -The controls are spot-on.

      -This game is really big for a Game Boy Color game and it’s all in 2D, so you can imagine how big the world map is.  You will definitely get your money’s worth with this game, for sure.

      -This game is a hybrid of Zelda 2 and Metroid in the sense that you get to explore this massive map and go through dungeons to take down bosses.  It’s awesome!

      -This game is certainly very challenging and has lots to offer in variety within the dungeons. Bosses are hideously massive to take out, and so on.

      -There are tons of secrets and unlockables!

       

      The bad?

      -The checkpoint system is a little bit annoying.  While, yes, there are warp points to get, in order to actually get them, you have to get these octopi in the dungeons. Problem is, to get all of them, you have to search very carefully and you need to revisit the dungeon with the new transformation or item or whatever.  It’s a humongous hassle just to be able to friggin’ WARP. So dumb.  If you die, you’re going to have go through the overworld alllll over again just to get back to where you were.

      -That hair whip attack sucks.

      -The levels are incredibly lengthy yet in a tedious way where there are many sections that seem to regurgitate the same things over and over just for padding.  The overworld areas are certainly the best example and it feels like a chore.

      -The story is kinda weak.  The whole point is just to chase down this female pirate to stop her from creating this steam engine. …eh.

      -There are some cheap segments.

       

      The verdict

      -While I wish I could have played more of this hidden gem since I really like Zelda 2, I haven’t found the patience and long amount of time to set aside to play this.  Still, for about $6? This is a steal.

      -I give this game 8.0 wall-climbing monkeys out of 10.

       

      Bucky O’ Hare?

       

      How did I get it?

      -I got this game at SGC from a dealer for $40. Since it was a more uncommon NES game, and since I really wanted to try this game out after seeing Mike Matei’s video, I thought that it would be a good game to purchase.

       

      How much have I played?

      -I managed to beat this game in one sitting. It took a little under 3 hours.

       

      The good?

      -It’s an NES Konami game. You know it’s gonna be good. …well…Castlevania 2 wasn’t but THAT’S BESIDES THE POINT!

      -Dat music. It’s Konami 8 bit greatness booming out to you with glorious triumphantness in all of its glory!

      -You have the ability to play with multiple characters that you can unlock—each that play differently and can be useful for certain situations! You may need Bucky to shoot upwards, or the robot to hover jump, etc.

      -Classic Konami-like fast-paced level design is here on various planets with lots of great of familiar and new mechanics to keep on your toes! Snakes, ice blocks, lava balls, spikes, the whole works!

      -Konami tried hard to throw in new things with each level. It’s pretty clear that I’m a Konami fanboy at this point…

      -The game controls fantastically and every fail you make is almost always your fault.

      -Bosses are a blast to take down.

       

       

      The bad?

      -Lives are pointless in this game since checkpoints are so often and close between.  The only point of lives are just to have points, but who the hell cares about points for a NES game? You mainly only want to beat it.

      -Some characters are greatly better to use than others, making some of them useless to use.

      -Your character model feels a little bit too big, and may be a problem on certain jumps.

      -Fairly short, even for an NES game. There’s only about 7 stages, and most of them can be beaten fairly quickly if you have a fair amount of skill. It really could have benefitted with at least 4 more levels or so. $40 is a bit of a steep asking price for such a short game.

      -Hard mode is literally impossible. THERE IS NO WAY. You die in like, one hit!

      -Many of the enemies are really weak or easy to defeat.

       

      The verdict

      -This game is a bit on the short side, but if you are looking for an obscure gem in the NES library, look no further than the radioactive-green rabbit. I give this game 8.0 Konami fanboys out of 10.

       

      Jak 3?

       

      How did I get it?

      -This was also part of the Jak and Daxter Trilogy set.

       

      How much have I played?

      -About roughly the same for Jak 2—about 20 hours or so.  I have also not 100% completed this game yet, merely beaten it.

       

      The good?

      -Story may not be as good as Jak 2’s but it’s still satisfying overall and offers some good plot twists.

      -The platforming levels and other variety sort of levels are just as fun as they were in Jak 2.

      -Enemies this time around are even more varied…and perhaps formidable toward the end.

      -There’s one section at the end where you get into this massive tank-like thing and blow everything up. It’s awesome! MWAHAHAHAAA!!

      -Tons of cool new upgrades and powers and goods to obtain! You can even be able to fly for short periods of time!

      -More effort was put into bosses.

      -A very nice conclusion to the Jak trilogy.

      -Controls just as well as Jak 2 does.

      -Has most of the good stuff from Jak 2, now that I think about it.

       

      The bad?

      -Uses the exact same engine as Jak 2, and plays nearly the exact same way. It really isn’t that bad of a thing, since Jak 2 was awesome. It’s just that it really doesn’t improve anything the same way Jak 2 did.

      -The driving controls are way too floaty and clunky. It makes nearly all of the driving sections take way too long and don’t feel as enjoyable as they should be.

      -There’s too many driving levels, and could use more platforming levels.

      -Is quite a bit easier than Jak 2, and is almost a little bit too lenient with giving health.

      -Is easy to get lost in the story.

      -There are some overpowered weapons. The blue gun amped up can destroy anything in its path, and you get it relatively early in the game for it to be only used.

      -Daxter still sucks.

      -While some of the weapons and powers you get are really cool, you don’t end up using a bunch of them. Also, some levels where you do use them in are fairly short, and make the new things feel tacked on.

       

      The verdict

      -Jak 3 is basically Jak 2’s younger brother who may not get as much under the sun since he’s inferior to his brother, but still is great and deserves some recognition. Jak 3 is practically a fun, yet slightly worse expansion pack to Jak 2.

      -I give this game 8.0 Precursors out of 10.

       

      Ni No Kuni: Wrath of the White Witch?

       

      How did I get it?

      -Ever since this game came out, I always was intrigued to obtain this one. I’ve had limited JRPG experience and I was a fan of Studio Gibli so I was very willing to get this game. But, I decided to wait until it was cheaper. Luckily it me, for whatever reason, it did and dropped down to a super-affordable price of $20! I got this game late in the summer.

       

      How much have I played?

      -So far I have played for about 29 hours. This is a long game and I haven’t beaten this game yet! I’m also fairly certain that there’s going to be a bunch of post-game content as well.

       

      The good?

      -The game looks incredibly pretty.  It really should be expected though since Studio Gibli (you know….that art studio that makes those movies like Princess Mononoke and Spirited Away?) helped to design the game.  Lots of colors and interesting art styles are used throughout the game, and it’s a simple joy to see them all mesh together into a magical world and such.

      -This game is BIG. For the price you pay for the game, it certainly is a mighty bang for your buck! Even after you beat a mighty long story mode, there’s the fun casino’s minigames to go to so that you can start early and there’s a coliseum to take rich people’s money. E+10 rating? Pft.

      -Bosses are satisfying to take down, even if they /do/ have a ton of HP.

      -So many sidequests and extra things to do! It’s ridiculous! It’s also fun to tackle those tough bounty hunts as well.

      -This game is certainly challenging! There’s also easy mode as well if you just want to enjoy the story. For certain players who may not be good at RPGs. *runs off*

      -Speaking of story, this game’s story is fairly interesting with tons of memorable characters and such throughout. You’ll even get to meet a giant fairy blob mountain thing and an overgrown cow queen!

      -Once you get used to the combat, it really is pretty deep and gets you thinking at the variety of stat combinations you can use for your creatures/familiars and stuff.

      -If you like Pokemon, you’ll probably like this game.

      -So many creatures and enemies to take down—it’s mind boggling.

      -This game has awesome music…even if some of it /does/ repeat a bit too often. The music in my opinion is much worthy of Music of the Year for 2013…VGXs… -_-

      -This game is addicting. You can easily suck in 4 hours of your time just tackling a dungeon or such.

      -This game is smart with adding new mechanics and such over time to keep things interesting.

       

      The bad?

      -It’s a JRPG…meaning that by some point, you are going to have to grind. While (thankfully), I never had to grind too much, there was this one place in particular I had to grind a good 2 hours just to be high leveled enough to get through. Good games shouldn’t force grinding just because you are too good or just to pad the game longer. It sucks, and it’s boring.

      -The difficulty curve is horribly sporadic. Some parts are painfully easy while others just kick your ass like there’s no tomorrow! Some bosses are fairly simple while others just demolish you!

      -Your Partner AI simply sucks. They waste WAY too much MP on stupid stuff and spells and they attack with things that are weak to your opponent. You’re going to have to micromanage a lot to even attempt to steer them into the right direction you wanted too!  The tactics list you have for partner AI is absolutely pitiful as well.

      -There is a LOT of text to read. Redundant and unnecessary ones at that too—especially if you are doing all of the side quests.

      -Speaking of side quests, some of them are mundane or boring.  Half of them just consist of talking and trading stuff. Laaaaaaaaaaaaaame.

      -I feel like I spend more time healing than attacking due to how weak my characters are.

       

      The verdict

      -Despite a few annoying little things that bug me from the JRPG genre that this game has, most of them can be fairly dealt with when the amount of charm and content oozing from this game is an awesome experience to enjoy. This game is rather memorable indeed. This game could be under my all-time favorites if they just fixed a bunch of these small problems. Therefore, I give this game 8.1 VGXs out of 10.

       

      Jak 2?

       

      How did I get it?

      -This was also part of the Jak and Daxter Trilogy set.

       

      How much have I played?

      -Much longer than the first game, probably about a little under 20 hours or so just to beat it. This game is tough!  I have not 100%ed this game yet because I want to try to get all of the Precursor orbs without cheating….even though it’s going to be near-impossible.

       

      The good?

      -Good 3D platforming goodness with a lot of cool set pieces, hazards, gimmicks, and other fast-paced action to get you excited. Tons of variety within each stage in the scenery and with new features to mix things up and keep things fresh as well.  The game was overall built just to be simple-minded fun, and it gets fairly addicting.

      -Actually has a decent story this time around. With a plot twist. WHAT? THERE’S NO WAY THAT CAN BE RIGHT!

      -Mostly a superb challenge that tests your platforming skills.  Most failures will be your fault, and completing a level will be supremely satisfying.

      -A surprising amount of variety with enemies, ranging from demon-like bugs to sentries to robots.

      -The game has its own unique charm and looks really good. Heck, even to this day, this game looks pretty good. Perhaps not graphically entirely, but the art style fits in and is certainly memorable.

      -Minigames and races in this game a lot of fun and help break up the action.

      -You can harm civilians like in GTA…and steal vehicles. Quite the dark twist compared to Jak and Daxter one… I want more games to take risks like these!

      -Music may not be very memorable, but it fits the mood superbly when it needs to.

      -You can get lots of cool guns and accessories in this game.

      -A superior improvement to the original, and much longer too!

      -The hoverboard is seriously cool. If only it was made by Mattel!

       

      The bad?

      -Some levels are particularly aggravating. Especially when there are not enough checkpoints during the later missions or this one where there’s an infinite amount of respawning enemies you have to traverse through. You die a little inside when you fail for the umpteenth time.

      -The racing levels are slightly unfair. That guy in front is ridiculously fast.

      -The overworld traveling feels dumb and pointless after a little while…very similar to sailing in Windwaker…(ugh, don’t get me started). I just wanted to get these parts over with so that I can go to the much more entertaining and fun missions.

      -Trying to get all of the Precursor orbs is nearly impossible, even for me. Good freaking luck.

      -Honestly could be a little bit longer. At least it was longer than Jak and Daxter 1.

      -Boss fights are usually lackluster. Shoot them repeatedly hurhurhur…

      -A few characters are forgettable, and some missions seem pointless in context of the story.

      -Daxter can go rot in a hole. He’s like a slightly better version of Jar Jar Binks.

       

      The verdict

      -This game made the original Jak and Daxter look like a helpless child, bullied it into a corner, and reigned supreme. Jak 2 is a blast to play with only a few levels that feel like a slog to go through in comparison. It’s tough, but it’s well worth the effort.

      -I give this game 8.5 Jar Jar Binks’s out of 10.

       

      The Last of Us?

       

      How did I get it?

      -I got it as a birthday present from my grandmother and brother.

       

      How much have I played?

      -I’ve played for about 13 hours or so. I beat the game on hard mode, but I want to try to find time to get all of the trophies and beat the game on Survivor mode and such.

       

      The good?

      -Feels like a truly unique game. Sure it borrows a good deal of elements from, say, Uncharted especially in the sense of the art style and the abundance of colors and such. As well as some of the controls. But is that really a bad thing? NO! If anything, it makes this game look fantastic, above all things, and keeps Naughty Dog’s pedigree of awesomeness.  In the sense of a unique game though, I mean in the way the game plays. It’s a mix of a third person shooter with survival and stealth elements added within.

      -Story is memorable. Can’t say too much due to spoilers though. It certainly does have an interesting ending that makes you think, and a lot of characters that certainly feel very natural and believable.  BECAUSE THEY’RE EVIL AND SELFISH LIKE ME! MWAHAHAHA!

      -Controls are spot on, and there is a lot of strategy put in when dealing with enemies.

      -I like the emphasis on using your weapons wisely, since ammo is scarce, for instance.

      -Lots of unique locations you have to explore and such.

      -Music feels very appropriate for this game.

      -Probably one of the best zombie games I’ve played to date that really gets the mood right.

      -This game is certainly a good challenge.  Be prepared to get your butt handed to you on a silver platter due to a mistake you made.

      -Usually a good amount of variety of things to do about to keep you interested.

      -Upgrading stuff and mechanics feels very rewarding and satisfying.

       

      The bad?

      -The story takes quite a bit of time for it to perk up in speed and get things going. It’s fairly slow, and took some time for me to finally get more interested in it.

      -I wouldn’t have minded more types of zombies—oh wait I’m sorry—fungus people or creatures or things to bend some rules a little and keep you on your toes.

      -It sucks when you’re low on health for a tough segment and you reached a checkpoint without any health packs around. At least they sometimes give you some health packs though when you most need it.

      -There’s almost a bit too many sequences of stealth with just normal humans about over and over again.  It can ever so slightly start to feel like a chore…

      -Rarely there are some segments I got stuck in because I wasn’t sure quite where to go or so.

      -Story mode I felt could have been a little longer or so.

      -Isn’t scary at all if you were into that whole ‘fear factor’.

      -WHY DOES MULTIPLAYER NEED AN ONLINE PASS??

       

      The verdict

      -It generally is as good as most people say. However, you are going to have to go into this game with a little bit of a patient mind, since it takes a little while to get warmed up.  I highly urge for you to play this game since most of the complaints I have for this game are nitpicky.

      -I give this game 8.6 Naughty Dogs out of 10.

       

      Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim?

       

      How did I get it?

      -I got this game around my birthday or so as my ultimate summer game. It was fairly cheap as well—being only about $25!

       

      How much have I played?

      -A LOT. Seriously, like, 90 hours a lot. I got the platinum for this game but I did not finish the DLC…because it’s expensive.  This is easily the one of the longest games I’ve played this year.

       

      The good?

      -A humongous bang for your buck! This game is ginormous and if you want to complete all the side quests and stuff…you’re going to be in a heck of a ride buddy. It’s seriously quite the accomplishment when it has hours of hours of new content to explore and do. The amount of side quests and dungeons are extremely impressive. The only backtracking you’ll have to do is to go to towns and such. The amount of effort placed into this game really shows when you see that gigantic world map.

      -The amount of customizations and events you can do is ridiculous. From crafting to st

    • Ganon's Puntos: Bioshock Infinite's 1999 Mode

      2 years ago

      darkhyrulelord


      MWAHAHAHAHAHAAA!!!

       

       

      Yes, I know it's been a long while since I've posted a blog up on this site.  And while I would normally have a very good reason as to why I haven't done so but....I really don't. ......sorry? Well, OK, I did originally intend to have a Top Ten Underrated games list, but....the ones I wanted to put on there, I haven't quite finished....so I've been slowly doing that. Add that to the antics of E3 and the World Cup and summer classes and you get a blog that takes forever to get written. XD  But here it is!

      So, with Summer also comes catchup playing....where I play games that I got over Christmas and finally have time to start playing them.  And one of them was Bioshock Infinite.  Being the overachieving and perfectionist dark lord that I am, I decided to try to shoot for the platinum in this game.  But doing so requires you to best 1999 mode, and my blind hard run had a few bumps in the road. BUT! I managed to pull it off, and for any one of your minions out there who have yet to do it and are far behind on games like I am--heres a good number of tips to help you out! ....or just me rambling on and boasting of my awesomeness, of course while making a fool of myself!

      1999 mode is difficult for the following reasons:

      • When you die, you lose 100 coins. When you can't pay the death toll, you go back to the beginning of the chapter!
      • Enemies regain all of their HP when you die.
      • Enemies are faster, stronger, and more aggressive.

       

      PUNTOS TIME AMIGOS!

       

      #1: Be a coward.

      You can probably get through 90% of this game if you use this tactic alone.  While you do take a fair amount of damage in 1999 mode, it generally is reasonable in comparison to other first person shooters where you…oh I dunno…. DIE IN ONE HIT (freaking Killzone hard mode…).  Thankfully, this game isn’t as crushing in difficulty, BUT do NOT get cocky for a number of reasons.

       

      Especially in early in the game, you will be very vulnerable and not have any sort of regenerative shield.  Even after you get the shield, you will not recover HP in the old fashioned method of find some cover and magically get your health back. Still….I’m highly advising you to actually do use the old method of keeping cover and hiding in the sidelines, poking off enemies one at a time like you would on veteran modes in various Call of Duties.  Playing it very safe in this fashion, since you can’t regenerate HP, is definitely the way to go—especially later on with mutants that have massive RPGs and such…and especially those motorized patriots that are like miniature tanks.

       

      When starting a fight, try to locate a safe spot where you can poke out peoples. My tactic that I used was to use a sniper rifle for those further away (or a machine gun earlier in the game) and a shotgun for anyone attempting to jump me in my little hidey hole.  If there is a place where there’s lots of med kits, make your way on there.  There are even some points where you can even skip fights altogether.  In these rare cases, definitely try to move along and avoid them.  During parts where it starts out peaceful until you have to make a decision on whether to steal or not—DO NOT STEAL…no matter how tempting of a reward you might find in the area.  Chances are, you will have to revisit that section later during a battle, so take the stuff then.  …OK well there is actually one section where I urge you to steal like the King of Thieves I am (DISCLAIMER: PLEASE DO NOT ACTUALLY STEAL IRL) when you are in the Shantytown with a juicy, delicious, glistening upgrade vial bottle just sitting there on a bench with only merely two grunts guarding it. You’ll know it when you see it.

       

      As a last note, use Murder of Crows if guys get too close to your hidey spot, or Shock Jockey if they are mechanical (and if you have it upgraded, although I generally prefer the crows).

       

      #2: Know the tough parts and how to deal with them.?


      Personally, there were about 5 ‘difficult’ parts in the game, although only one of them gave me a lot of trouble.  Interestingly enough, after playing this game, the difficult section wasn’t /nearly/ close to what I anticipated.

       

      The first part you will encounter is practically the very beginning of the game.  Since you get a game over when you can’t pay your 100 coin regeneration fee, and you…practically are more penniless than Link after he’s met with Tingle…you’re in a bit of trouble.  It also doesn’t help that you don’t have a shield at this point—making you a sitting duck.  There really isn’t much I can do to help you at this point bud—er—minion about this section other than to just steer clear from being caught in the crosshairs. What I can suggest to do is to leave any sort of snacks out before combat starts so that you know it’s there when the situation escalates.  Be especially careful in this section and abuse that possession power as much as possible to avoid being hurt. And also—don’t give up! The game gets a bit easier after this, so keep at it!

       

      The second part is the Handyman battle way later in the game after you see Fitzroy assassinate Mr. Fink.  This, in my opinion, is the hardest section of the game, since it throws at you lots of baddies with next to no place for cover or a hidey hole you can stay at (and no health packs around)—unlike the factory place where you can hide indoors.  This place is very open as well, so you need to keep on your toes!  I would suggest staying near the entrance, since that’s generally away from where all of the enemies like to spawn.  However, the handyman is pretty nasty and next to impossible to avoid his attacks since he’s absurdly fast.  Therefore, in order to make your life a hell of a lot easier, I suggest using a fully powered Undertow on him just so he can STAY STILL. He’s far more easier to take down when he’s right up close and personal for you to snipe into its heart. But, make absolutely certain that you have full salts on you and to save it for this moment, because you are going to need every last one of those Undertow spells on it. If, for some reason you die at this point, then you will want to start over from scratch and restart the checkpoint—especially if you don’t have any salts on you. Also, don’t even try to run away from the Handyman, since he’s fast to the point that it’s cheap, and rather broken.  There are other Handymen battles in the game, but they don’t seem quite as ridiculous as the one I mentioned. Still, you should keep an eye out for them. For the first battle with one, you can simply hide in one of the rooms and whack on him as she tries to reach in. For the other ones, there are healing supplies that I would highly advise using.

       

      The third part is the first encounter you have with Elizabeth’s mother ghost-thing.  This one is nasty in particular since it is very close quarters, and there is no exploit you can really use to cheese your way out of this scenario.  The main problem with this battle is that the ghost constantly regenerates and spawns forth an infinite amount of fallen soldiers in combat…and they just KEEP COMING despite how many you take down. I have heard that an easy way to take care of this was to use a combination of Devil’s Kiss and Shock Jockey….but…for some reason I couldn’t quite get this to work…so you may want to look this up.  But here is my strategy, made infinitely easier if you have the equipment that makes you momentarily invincible if you eat food. …although…why you gain invincibility from ANYTHING even after you eat something like a rotten apple is beyond me. Strange how eating something that would normally harm you would be something you’d want.  Actually, I wonder if you can fall by eating bad food or so. It’s worth an experiment. But I’m getting off topic again…  What you’ll want to do is, right when the battle starts, fire some sniper shots at her while she’s getting some soldiers, then, dash as fast as humanly possible to your right and camp by the health packets, taking down some soldiers now and then just to get the ghost to stay still. …hrm…I’m starting to see a pattern that tough parts involve enemies that don’t keep still. Well, if you get in a pickle, there’s more shotgun ammo and health packs in the center. But you will want to keep up some Return to Sender spells just to stay alive.  Shock jockey and The Murder of Crows is nice for crowd control.

       

      The fourth hard part involves the third and final battle of the ghost. (You should have seen me rage at the screen hilariously when I saw that I had to fight her a /third/ time.)  It’s a little tricky since there’s very few places to hide, and there’s NO health packs around this time.  ….however, you can make this battle much more bearable if you stay by all of the vending machines. For some reason, enemies and spawns will rarely attack you in this position, so you’ll have a lot of heat off of you. I would also advise opening rifts for the little turrets that fire at enemies…so that you can get your chance to snipe out the ghost around the corner when respawning those annoying soldiers.

       

      The final hard part is the final ‘boss’ battle of the game, where you have to defend the ship by this neverending onslaught of enemies. Want to know the dark ways to make this fight a walk in the park instead of ripping your hair out? Simple! Just spam a bunch of fully-powered Return to Sender barriers around the core so that it doesn’t get damaged! ….and I do mean a bunch just to be safe around all sides of it. The best part is, after you do this, you really don’t have to worry about a damn thing! No matter how much they blast that core with a multiple of missiles, it won’t do any damage. So you can just take your time and take them out one by one.

       

      If you keep these hard parts in mind, then you’ll have nothing to fear! …except me and my warlock punches of course. MWAHAHAHAHAHAAA!!!

       

      #3: Know what weapons, vigors, equipment, etc. to use in situations.?


      You might have your own playstyle but everyone who’s smart follows what I say and do because I win at everything! Right? …RIGHT??? 

       

      Ahem.

       

      Well I may not actually have the best strategy to topple this mode, I still at least finished it without too much trouble, so you might want to follow what I did.

       

      For weapons, I used a sniper rifle (IMO the most powerful weapon in the game when you get headshots) and the shotgun for close range damage. Before you get those…I would recommend machine guns or pistols since ammo is everything. HOWEVER! DO NOT…I repeat… DO NOT lose your sniper rifle under ANY CIRCUMSTANCES. If you run out of ammo on both guns, either wait until Elizabeth gives you some (which happens more times than not…for whatever reason. Does she have like a bunch of stuff in her back pocket and decides not to give them to you until she thinks it’s a good time?) or simply just remember where you put it if you decide to use another. Also, make sure that if you do decide to leave one of these two guns behind—to get back to them ASAP before you accidentally go somewhere where you can’t go back.  It sucks when you’ve lost your sniper rifle before a big battle, I tell you.

       

      For vigors, I’ve seen plenty of strategies before…although personally I have some favorites for certain scenarios.  Possession is a very, VERY good one to use for early game. Use it as much as possible if for crowd control too—and especially on turrets and the sort.  Murder of Crows is very nice for crowd control—but know that it can only be used for living beings.  Machines and stuff aren’t effective, so it’s generally good to use whenever you’re in a pinch and overwhelmed.  Shock Jockey is very situational, but nice to use on those annoying mechanized George Washingtons and Abraham Lincolns so that they don’t get too close.  And lastly, Undertow is a godsend for dealing with rocket launcher guys when they are on ledges and Handymen.

       

      For equipment, I’m not 100% sure, but I think it’s randomized so you’ll have to be lucky. But some are obviously better than others. If possible, stick to ones that make you invincible for a brief period of time if you do something.  Another favorite of mine was where critical hits did more damage.

       

      #4: Loot everything, and know what to save money for.

      (Yes, even that coin)

      This may seem like a no brainer but….seriously. Loot. Everything. You never know if you’ll find something particularly helpful for later—or possibly even an upgrade to one of your stats!  Look around everywhere, use possession on vending machines to take extra money, etc.  Although if you’re full on health, you might want to save some snacks lying around in case of an emergency.  Money is especially important in this mode, and you may die 10 times at a rough section, meaning 1000 silver eagles GONE.

       

      Although the real trick is knowing what to save money for. Personally, try to have at least 300 coins on you at all times…and if you have extra, then buy stuff.  The first thing you’ll want to spend on is to upgrade your shotgun and sniper rifle—especially that sniper rifle!  It will OHKO almost anything in sight with a headshot, and you’ll want as many perks on that weapon as humanly possible. Then, I’d advise upgrading Possession so that you can use it more often, and then Return to Sender for the final battle so that you can cheese the most difficult part of the game.

       

      #5: There are exploits in this game. Use them!


      Most of the exploits I have spoken of already, but just as a quick reminder, here goes in case I forgot some. THERE IS NO SHAME IN BEING EVIL AS I AND CUTTING CORNERS!! MWAHAHAHAHAHAalthoughthatfinalpartwhereIusedReturntoSenderwasprettycheap.

       

      ·       Use the Return to Sender barriers around the final portion of the game—so that you can do it without sweat.

      ·       Use Possession on vending machines for extra dough—the (not so) legal way!

      ·       You can get infinite moneys and lockpicks by reloading the section after you visit the Hall of Heroes multiple times. (Using Possession)

      ·       For the second ghost battle, hide in the doorway and the minions won’t attack you.

      ·       Supposedly, Shock Jockey and Devil’s Kiss can destroy corpses. (From regenerating)

      ·       Instead of getting a game over, go to the pause menu and do “Return to Checkpoint” Saves an ample amount of time.

      ·       You have a window of invincibility whenever Elizabeth gives you stuff. Therefore, it might be wise to wait until the right moment. Although know that once the battle is over, you can no longer get that item from her.

      ·       For the first Handyman battle, hide in the room you enter the area in for a much smoother sailing.

      ·       Hide by the vending machines in the third ghost fight and minions won’t attack you as much.

       

      And that’s pretty much it. Sorry it took 3 months to write. I hope that this may be of help for those brave enough to tackle this mode! It’s a lot easier when you come in prepared! The platinum is close to your grasp! ….or all 60-something achievements if you’re playing with the FAR more inferior XBONE. Who even plays that er--- I MEAN 360! 360! DO A 720! DO A BARREL ROLL! DO A *crashes* My next blog ought to be a lot bigger once I'm done with said games for that appropriate list.

       

      PS: Special thanks to Bygjuce for spurring me into doing a Ganon’s Puntos like thing. Hope you enjoy!

       

      Today’s Ganon Award goes to g1 Ferret for his blog on Medium Mislabeling! I COMMAND you to view it!

    • Top Ten Ways To Tell That You Have Been Playing Too Much GTA V

      2 years ago

      darkhyrulelord

      MWAHAHAHAHAAA!!

       

      Welcome one and all to my first February blog! Well…unless the blog that was supposed to go up in January ends up getting here comes up first then oh well.

      As you all may know, GTA V is quite the popular game, seeing how it got an absurd amount of sales to become one of the most best-selling game of all time.  Seeing which, I decided to ask for it over the holidays since I was intrigued.  Seeing how my playstyle is usually to conquer games, I ended up playing this game. …..A LOT.  So much so, that I’m here to give you a silly little top ten list to let you know that you are playing too much of this game and to go out and…play other games I guess?  I don’t understand this concept called ‘outside’…

       

      #10-Chop has a golden collar?

      Bet you didn’t know this one, didn’t you? If you have Franklin’s (or Lamar’s…or your?) dog have the elusive golden collar, then chances are that you’ve played too much.  Or…at least played the “Chop the Dog” minigame on the Iphone for more than you should.  That’s why this one is at number 10, since just having the golden collar doesn’t mean that you’ve actually played GTA5 too much—just the Iphone game.

      After you play through some of the story games and have the ability to walk with Chop, the game tells you that you can ‘train’ (and I use that term loosely…) and feed him by downloading the Ifruit app on your phone.  Although, the real reason why you should download that app is so that you can be able to view your progress on the 100% checklist, but that’s a different story.  With the ‘Chop the Dog’ minigame—it’s just as you would expect. You take care of him like a Tamagachi by giving him Drunk beers when he’s thirsty, give him steaks when he’s hungry, and do minigames with him in order to prevent him from being lazy. However, feeding him and giving him drinks costs credits—and you only get a certain amount each day.  It’s really dumb when you first start since you don’t nearly have enough credits to make this needy dog happy. Yet, a couple of weeks later, you’ll have more credits than you’ll know what to do with. Also, you have to clean up Chop’s poop as well. It would be kind of cool, except that…he poops/gets hungry/gets thirsty/gets lazy CONSTANTLY. Like, arguably even more than a real dog. In fact…that might be a good experiment.

      You get messages pop up on your phone whenever Chop needs something, and it gets annoying fast. It got to the point that I just ignored him and turned the notices off since Chop can’t die. I’M SUCH A GOOD DOG TRAINER! Although, if you get gold rankings in all of the minigames you can do with Chop (they aren’t hard, but they need some practicing), then you are eligible to buy the golden collar for him.  Oh, but you have to buy it too…since nothing is cheap in this world except junk mail.  The cool thing about this collar though, is that if you buy it, Chop in the actual GTA5 game will wear the sparkly collar as well that you can show off to…um…Trevor I guess. It actually looks more yellow than gold now that I think about it.

       

      #9-You have an irrational hatred of spaceship parts and paper?

      For those of you brave souls like me who have a need to conquer games and do to the side missions and other random knick-knacks like playing tennis with a ridiculously dressed up Trevor, you are going to have to do two lengthy collectathon missions that will have you crawling up the strangest corners of the world map and such.  It’s as silly as it was in AC2 where you had to get the 100 feathers for your cousin or something because derp and you had to.  Without a map, I might add.

      For the missions, you need to get 50 spaceship parts and 50 scraps of paper just to unlock two short side missions for 100% completion.  This doesn’t sound quite too bad in comparison to other games like DK64 where you had to get 3500 bananas or something ridiculous like that.  However, when you take into consideration of how large the world map is, along with the time it takes for you to look up the locations and possibly get a helicopter for out-of-reach places (and failing a few times for some tricky ones), then you have yourself a massive hunt to endure.  I wouldn’t have a deep seated hatred for these collectibles if the game at least had the courtesy to put them on the map rather than for them to say “GO FIND THEM! MWAHAHAHAA!”  Although, to be fair, there is a map detailing where they are in the Ifruit app you can get on your phone.  …except that it sucks, is incredibly laggy, the app can crash, and it’s much easier just to cheat and look up a video on IGN or something.  Would it really been that bad if they just put those things on the in-game map and save everyone a butt load of trouble?

      But even then, it really can be a dull drag to get these things since they are usually just lying somewhere in the middle of nowhere.  Why couldn’t it be like Arkham City for Riddler Trophies or something where you would have to solve some sort of puzzle or go through a small obstacle course to get them?  That would have made this much more enjoyable to go through, instead of just going to point to point for padding’s sake. But it’s not, and anyone who has played their fair share of GTA V and has some OCD like me will loathe spaceship parts and scraps of paper. But hey! At least you get a cool vehicle if you get the spaceship parts.  That’s worth it right? (PS: It’s not, but at least it’s something…I guess.)

       

      #8-You actually know how to get prostitutes instead of just a lap dance (in the game)

      Remember when the media got all upset at the prostitute stuff in GTA3 and 4?  Well, that’s in this game too, but I never actually did it until much later in the game until it was required for the 100% checklist for the miscellaneous category. That’s right. I didn’t do a sex scene until I was literally required to do so.  *poses* But either way, yes, you can get a prostitute service in this game.  It’s just that you’ve probably either played GTA5 too much until the point that you figured it out yourself or were required to do so. ….or you are just a very bored horny player running out of things to do in this game. Either way, you’ve played too much GTA5.  I have a theory that they made it a little bit more…out of the way to obtain due to the outrage from the public on the past games. But that’s just a theory. A GAME TH—I’m not going to steal that.

      In order to get the step up from the easy-to-figure out private dance from the strip club, make your way to the La Mesa area of Los Santos after around 22:00.  Make sure you have around $500 dollars as well and a decent car. Drive around the streets in this area until you see some women in high heels—that’s them.  Get close to them—but not too close since NPCs in this game are weaker than a Waddle Dee on stilts. Then press L3 (for the PS3, at least) to honk your horn and wait for them to get in.  The game might not prompt you, but next make your way to a secluded area like a back alley. Because…you know, NO ONE is there to watch from above! …well besides Trevor maybe. He’s always drunk on rooftops.  I don’t know what the difference is from a $100 and a $75 service but you can probably use your imagination.  For some reason the camera isn’t very good when you do this so, for all I know, they could simply be having a fun time jumping up and down simply to make the car rock and tilt in order to test the car’s stability for stunt jumps. …or to test the controller’s durability with its lengthy rumbling session.  Yeah…that’s it!

      So now you know, and I have just taught everyone one of the most foul deeds you can possibly do in this game.  Then again, despite everything that the game has, I still think that the worst thing the characters do in this game is to buy a $1 drink, take a sip, and then chuck the can on the ground without recycling!  That’s horrible!!

       

      #7-You know what a knife flight is

      If you are one of those determined and brave souls eager to get their 100% checklist done, then you will know what a knife flight is.  Chances are that you will learn what this is either by doing all of the flight school lessons or by doing the 15 knife flights.  The flight school teaches you what the knife flight is eventually along with incredibly dangerous stunts that should be banned from any flight school lesson—which consists of flying upside down extremely close to buildings.  The knife flights required for the checklist also involve you flying incredibly close to skyscrapers…and probably meaning that you will crash and get ‘wasted’ a bunch…ending up in you spending $5000 for a revival, calling a taxi, waiting for said taxi, drive to the hangar, and THEN get another chance to fly. *slams head on desk*

      But enough teasing!  A knife flight is when you fly sideways in a plane. Simple, right? Surprising that this term was never learned in a game like Star Fox or some other aviation game. Hell, I never even heard this in an airplane museum. Is this made up by the game? *searches on the web* Huh…it actually might be. That might be the reason. Any pilots out there that can confirm this?

      Oh, well, for GTA5, knife flights may be a bit more tricky to pull off than what it sounds—especially if you’re using a jet and have to do it between a very tight space.  You have to constantly press L1 or R1 (for PS3) in order to keep your plane steady and have a fair amount of altitude. …or you can kind of cheat and be sideways momentarily for a bit.

       

      #6-Taxis are (almost) your best friend

      I say almost since you have to wait for them, and they don’t always come.  However, as you will soon grow to know when you play too much GTA5, you will see that there is a LOT of driving to do! Then again, seeing how the game has “Auto” in the title, that’s kind of to be expected. Still, it starts to get a tad tedious at times having to drive from one end of the county to the other and having to go through the same roads. However, with taxis, (nearly) all of your problems will be solved by being able to skip the task of driving and going straight to your destination! Awesome!

      While this will obviously cost money to do and actually cost extra if you skip the driving, you can more than sweeten the deal if you buy the Downtown Cab Co. with Franklin—making all cab rides absolutely free!  …although…buying the company does come with the hefty cost of $400,000 or so…so it might be actually cheaper to just pay for the cab rides I guess.  Unless you are a greedy miser like me who just likes to conquer everything anyways because he can. MWAHAHAHAHAAA!! I’m the master landlord now!

      Now that you have your personal taxi service whenever you want, you can call them at any time and even in the most remote locations like the mountains they will still come in a hurry and get you in a few seconds.  It really can be quite impressive too of how determined some of the cab drivers can be—even driving through the beach just so that they can pick you up.  So there’s a lesson for you to learn—don’t sell your taxi property to those that want to abuse it--like me! And when you are going to get the game’s many collectibles, using the taxi service will save an immense amount of time.

      However, taxis aren’t perfect since waiting for them can be a bit annoying due to the sometimes cruddy AI where they get stuck in traffic. Also, there are some places where they simply flat-out won’t give a cab to you. FRANKLIN DEMANDS HIS FREE TRANSPORTATION!

       

      #5-Rockstar has banned you from online play

      You have played the online portion of the game so much that you have learned the faster ways to get higher ranks and a boatload of cash.  Perhaps you have found a way to cheat the system, or perhaps you seemingly are too good at the online portion of the game. Either way, you’ve probably played the game far too longer than you should, and you have spent an excruciating amount of time researching over this game to see the fastest ways to reach supremeness online one way or another. Don’t really have much to say about this one, other than that maybe Rockstar might be trying to tell those banned a message that they should avoid using exploits for gaining glory.  I know why they are doing it so that players can have the same chance as others and not be alienated but isn’t the whole point of the game to break the law?  Perhaps Rockstar is doing a service discouraging others from playing too much GTA5.

       

      #4-You no longer use the GPS system

      You are so good and knowledgeable of the world’s map from driving around that you no longer even need to look at that minimap to know where to go.  Someone can just tell you to go to Mt. Josiah and you’ll be like, “I got this, bro.”  Then again…being able to do this kind of becomes a moot point since by the time you are knowledgeable of the world map, you probably are using taxis to get around.  Also, for driving sequences for when you are required to use your own car, the game already highlights what roads to take to complete the mission or something.

      Although, what I’m trying to say is that, if you know nearly every street and part of the world map to the point that you really don’t need that GPS thing anymore, you’ve played for far too long.  As a test, the next mission you see, I want you to look at the map to see the general area of where it is. …or…if you (like me) have already done all of the missions, then just make a custom waypoint on the map. Now, try to get there as fast as you can without messing up and taking a wrong turn.  Also, make sure to turn the minimap now OFF in the settings.  If you can do it just as reasonably fast as you would do it with a GPS…then you know the map by heart, and you’ve been playing this game too much.  Funny though that, despite how much I have played for this game (at least 60 hours so far), I still haven’t uncovered a good portion of the map yet.  There’s still a large amount that’s not filled in! D:

      Better yet, probably is that if you manage to have the entire map filled for Los Santos and Blaine County, then you’ve been playing longer than the ability to be able to no longer use a GPS system.

       

      #3-You start saying ‘homie’ and ‘Kifflom’ more

      First I’ll discuss the ‘homie’ one. For one, I live under a rock, so I’m not exactly sure myself if most people use this word in their vocab IRL at least.  However, from my experience, I have not heard or seen anyone regularly use the word online from Twitter, ScrewAttack, and online gaming like CoD, Mortal Kombat, and other places.

      Yet, other than a myriad of curses being flown about like there’s no tomorrow (from what you would kind of expect from a game like GTA V), the word ‘homie’ is slung around—especially with Franklin—even to the point that the other characters in the game start to use it…like, even Trevor for example.  When I eventually got around to tackling the online portion of the game, I noticed that—even during a 30 minute race that dragged on—other players constantly started to use the word ‘homie’. It got me thinking as to what the word actually meant, and, other than that it’s slang for ‘homeboy’…I…didn’t get anything. …OK. So what does homeboy mean? *searches* Oh, neighbor.  ….hold on a sec—how come people online are using that to describe others who live halfway across the world?  Best not to think too hard…  Either way, you’ll start using ‘homie’ more the more you play.  Either that or the angry comments shall tell me of how little I get out and talk to others.

      Now, with ‘Kifflom’, this term comes exclusively from this game. …unless…other GTA games have used it since they referenced Liberty City once with this word/religion.  This word is associated with the Epsilon program, that is a religion due to tax reasons.  Within this religion, you know everything by knowing nothing…by walking 5 miles in the desert, ‘delivering’ the program certain cars, wearing baby blue clothes, and other random stuff that will make you doubt reality.  And for those of you who may have stolen money from the program for their ill-gotten gains, just know that the Epsilon program was right the whole time, for you get to meet Cris in the afterlife in GTA Online.  OOPS.

      If you play too much GTA V, you might find yourself actually believing in this cult as a religion, use “Kifflom” for everything instead of “Yes sir”, and hand them ridiculous amounts of cash, and say Kifflom whenever you are doing exercises for breathing control.  And yes…it is starting to become a real religion. …and I still have no idea what Kifflom means. 

       

      #2-Your car in the game begins to look more and more ridiculous?

      The more and more money you accumulate in the game, the more and more silly your car is going to get.  If you end up playing the game for about 60 hours or so like I did, then it’s probably going to ‘just’ be a $2 million sports car in a neon pink color with yellow tire smoke (I have no idea how that works) along with a clown honking horn that honks with a tune and such.  It’s also going to come equipped with lime green tinted windows and other nonsense that you really don’t need but you’ll slap whatever you find on top of it anyway since that’s how you roll. Winning.

      And all of this effort and money poured into your brand new car that sticks out like a sore thumb just for it to get totaled as you attempt to do a stunt jump and ditch it into the bottom of the ocean. But, hey, no worries! You can ‘just’ spend another few million on a brand new car….and make it look even more silly and make it sparkly.  Also, the more you play, the more ridiculous vehicles you will get to unlock, like the baby blue Kifflom car and the strange space vehicle that makes buzzing noises.  Now if only you had a sparkly gold tank you could drive around or have other golden parts like in Spirit Tracks or something, then I’d be all over that. ….or a Ganondorf car.

       

      1-You hate people not using turn signals more than ever

      The more you play GTA5, the more you will learn that the main reason for car crashes are from NPCs that have a mind of their own with their strange AI. They always jump out at you whenever they you are going fast. Like, I get that they might be smart enough to try to veer to the side of the road to allow space for you like ANY sensible driver would, but a good chunk of them even go as far as to literally drive into the middle of the street into you!  Their haphazard driving and them simply being in the way all of the time also drives me up the walls (and especially my brother, since he actually likes to keep his custom cars in good condition).  However, the most annoying thing about this is whenever you are in the middle of a race or trying to get a gold medal in a mission by beating the time constraint and then a car doesn’t use their turn signal and then rams into you for no reason.  It’s beyond aggravating, and you failed by some sort of random factor.

      Also, for those trying to get ‘Not a Scratch’ and deliver some sort of vehicle without any little dings on it (because Kifflom forbid that losing your hood ornament causes mission failure), you will find yourself doing more to follow the traffic rules than ever. But guess what? You STILL are in danger of being hit since many of the drivers are rather reckless and will fail to use their turn signals and ram into you and it wasn’t your fault.  …perhaps this is why the police don’t bother to pull people over for those (like you) consistently running through red lights?  Or, now that I think about it, the better reason why they don’t pull people over for that is because they have more important things in that game to worry about…like random thieves stealing from banks.

      If there is anything that GTA V closely resembles to real life—it’s that people don’t use their turn signals. Well, in Alabama at least.  People can’t drive here in an inch of snow.

       

      And there you have it, ten silly reasons that you know that you’ve been playing GTA V too much. …..then again this list is somewhat moot because, let’s face it—you probably are playing too much already. BUT HEY! At least that’s more people not playing iOS Dungeon Keeper, right?

       

      Today’s Ganon Award goes to g1 Big Boss of Moss for his stream he’s going to have to celebrate ScrewAttack’s 8th year! I command you to go see it! 

    • Personal Top 10 Video Game Fireworks

      3 years ago

      darkhyrulelord

      MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAAA!!!

       

      Yep!  It's that time of year again where, like Chad says, "America celebrates its own holiday by blowing a little bit of itself up."  Colorful fireworks blast the air, people wave flags of the states like there's not tomorrow, other countries have no idea what we're doing, and lots and lots of scrumptious PORK is eaten.  mmmmmm.....pork.

      Therefore, to further celebrate this holiday by writing down this blog post as fast as I can so that I can eat more pork, I am going to discuss my top ten personal favorite fireworks in games.  Why personal?  Because I'm sure that there's quite a bit of games out there that I haven't played that have fantastic fireworks shows such as Big Bang Mini (and Bomberman)--for example.  Also I have no idea what I'm talking about at times.

      When I say 'favorite fireworks', I just mean fireworks like in general.  It could be a fireworks show in the game, or simply one fireworks display, or an attack that involves fireworks.  My definition of fireworks is rather...loose since basically they are just colorful explosions of sorts in the sky that makes a lot of noise.  Whether these fireworks are snazzy, memorable, or symbolic, I have chosen these ten to make it on the list.  Only rule is that there can only be one entry per franchise....so that unfortunately throws a lot of Mario ones out of the window.

      Also I did this list admittedly rather quickly so that it wouldn't be TOO late.

       

       

      #10: Tiny Tina's 'Fireworks'

      Since I was rather in a hurry to think of some good firework choices for this blog, I went ahead and chose Tiny Tiny's because why not?

      In Borderlands 2, Tiny Tina is described as the "world's deadliest 13-year old"....and seeing how she can live in a world filled with psychos, bandits, murderous robots, and other near suicidal creatures, she probably fits that book.  In fact, some could argue that she may be more insane than the psychos around where she's at.  Why?  Well, for one, she's a demolitions expert and practically places gigantic mines and bombs all around her fort set to go off.  ....How is she qualified to be an expert with this?  Well....I guess that she's the only one who uses bombs like crazy on the planet anyway.  With good enough explosions and 'fireworks' to make it onto this list with my frantic scrambling to find ten at least.

      She even names her rockets....and I think that some had a crazy name like "badonkadonks" (what kinda name is that for a rocket??) or something.  The psychos stole them probably because they were jealous.  You use these rockets to make a train derailed with a massive and powerful explosion and it was pretty cool.

      .....yeah I was kinda desperate for this one, I admit.  Can't say much more than that.

       

      #9: Joker's Party Fireworks

      Joker's no stranger to fireworks and explosions.  In fact, all throughout Arkham Asylum, he continually teases and forebodes about.  You were expecting something rather big as he and his minions constantly talk about it and plan for it, talking about invites and such--including the KNIGHT.  Throughout the course of the game, you may have noticed that the Joker's thugs keep building this awning in the style of Joker's face, reminding you that the Joker has something big planned....

      And, before too long, the party begins after a quick tussle with one of Poison Ivy's monstrous flowers!  The Joker was kind enough to pull off a fireworks show for Batman and to have the shape of the fireworks as arrows to detail where the party is being held in case Batman gets lost.  ....you know....because Batman hasn't been romping through the Asylum for the past 9 hours or so.

      The fireworks show is indeed a fabulous display since, if you keep watching, it will never end! Where does the Joker get all of the money to get an infinite amount of fireworks anyway?  I thought he burnt like a whole giant mountain of cash in The Dark Knight?  He's got money to burn, that's for sure!

       

      #8: Cracker Launcher

      The Cracker Launcher in Super Smash Bros. Brawl is easily one of the more useful weapons in the game. .....It's just too bad that many players don't like to use items in the game.

      Not only does this item give off a good fireworks show, it also does a fairly good impact of damage.  I think it fires about 10 or so fireworks with one launcher at an arc that does about 18% damage each or so with a fairly high launch rate.  The idea is to be able to aim with the thing well since each shot counts yet to fire fast enough so that they won't be able to dodge it. The cool thing with this item too is that you can launch it in the other direction if you sprint the other way.  No one is safe from the power of fireworks!  MWAHAHAHAHAAA!!!!!

      The Cracker Launcher also gives off a powerful burst for the final shot, so you better make sure to count those shots well if you want the final one to count.  Whenever someone has the Cracker Launcher, you know that you should try to stay far away from him/her since there's no stopping the destruction of the launcher.  .....now that I think of it, didn't this item also appear in Kid Icarus: Uprising?  If so, then even Sakurai knows that these fireworks are cool.

       

      #7: Sasuke's Fireworks Show

      Here's an obscure one for you (and, also tells you that I should probably play a greater variety of games since many of them are associated with Nintendo in some way).

      There is an optional mission in Goemon's Great Adventure in Spook Village (I believe) where one of the characters, Sasuke, must pull off a good fireworks show for the townsfolk who like to keep lizardmen as pets (this game is weird).  Sasuke is so skilled with fireworks that he is considered a BOSS of fireworks people and immediately is thrusted into fireworks show where all responsibility is placed upon him.  Sounds safe.

      At least the fireworks team was nice enough to allow a guy to show you the order in which to set the fireworks off at.  At first it's kinda easy, but then they set off 8 fireworks in this certain order where it's actually kinda hard to remember which one to do.  .....Therefore I wrote the order on a piece of paper while watching instead of doing it the old-fashioned way since I'm an evil, dark genius.  Oh, and you BETTER set off the fireworks in the correct order, otherwise you'll see a mishap ensue that explodes the town. : /

      However, if you do do it right, then you will treated to a good view of the fireworks show in a rather realistic and peaceful setting with cicadas chirping in the background. .....wait....how can there be cicadas in an area that's filled with lava everywhere?!?  MERICUH!  ...oh wait, this is Japan....kinda...not really.  Majin Island.

       

      #6: Spider Solitaire Fireworks

      Nowadays, this fireworks display may not be super special, but, back in the day when you were extremely bored at school, this display was one of the first real senses of gratification you've received on the computer.  Back in the day, I managed to find enough patience (somehow) to learn how to play Solitaire and Spider Solitaire on my own....even though I wasn't and still am not a big fan of traditional card games.

      Until the Internet was in full swing and when computers had that awesome Space-themed pinball machine (that I still haven't technically beaten to this day), I pretty much only had this and Minesweeper to play. ....Oh and the Jumpstart games but I went through them rather quickly.  It took me lots of matches (and options fumbling) until I was finally able to clear a game of Solitaire.  Then the game throws out a bunch of confetti and fireworks in basic colors, saying in bright letters "YOU WIN!"  It felt awesome when I saw that, and was even cooler than that sunglasses face you get when you clear Minesweeper.

      Even to this day, those games have an updated version of that blissful fireworks display to give you that same sense of satisfaction. While yes, Nick and others may poke fun at how simple this fireworks display is (admittedly...it is), it had a bit of an impact the first time I witnessed it.  Too bad it's not exactly as cool as I remembered.

       

      #5: Carnival of Time Fireworks

      This fireworks display is neat in the sense that it's one of the only ones in games where you don't feel excited and happy for---more so the opposite.  When you hear these fireworks in the game, you know that you have a relatively short amount of time in Majora's Mask to stop the Moon from falling into the world.  The first time I heard and saw those fireworks when playing, I was like, "OH SNAP!".  ....OK maybe it was a little more foul than that but you get the ******* ****ing idea---I was legitimately scared....something I haven't really felt in a long time.

      As for the fireworks themselves, they are a sight to see and their meaning is rather important. It signifies the opening of the Carnival of Time and that the entry to the clock tower is now open!  Although, something must be said about the determination that the fireworks/bomb owner.  From all he knows, he's probably going to die in less than 24 hours due to the moon falling.  So, literally, he is probably giving everything that he's got in this fireworks show despite the fact that very few people are actually there to witness it.  In his final moments of his life, he will do everything he can to show the world his talents.  ......dang.....that's deep.

      Something with as much effort and soul put into it definitely needs to be added onto the list.  It's a very powerful fireworks display indeed.

       

      #4: LittleBigPlanet Fireworks

      The Internet has failed me to find what I was looking for. : /

      I do wish that the Internet had a picture to show what I was talking about, but hopefully I can do some justice on it.

      Whenever you beat a level in LittleBigPlanet, a bunch of confetti and 'fireworks' blasts around everywhere before you beat the stage.  No matter how many times I experience it, I can't help but push the 'happy' button on the controller and jump around like a guy who struck it rich.  It feels even better when you get a higher score than the other Sackboys (and girls?) and then the fireworks pop up around you with awesome fanfare.  Yessss REVEL IN VICTORY GANONDORF SACKBOY!

      It's even better that this game has massive customization in levels as well.  This means that you can create bigger and more powerful fireworks and confetti for your ego needs at the final scoreboard.  I've seen some rather impressive ones online as well where some put up neon ones or firey ones or ones where explosions fill the screen---even partially destroying bits of the landscape and scoreboard.  MERICUH!

      Basically this is one fireworks display where I can't help but have a second of goofy giddiness when it happens, even if it is short.

       

      #3: Super Mario Bros. Flagpole Fireworks

      Yes, I know that I'm kinda breaking the "one entry per franchise" rule here if you count Smash Bros. as a Mario game.....but I'll let it slide for this one!

      Super Mario Bros. was probably the very first video game that I've ever played, and seeing those fireworks pop up at the end of the stage provided some good ol' satisfaction as well as an abundance of extra points to go along in it.  Even before I even found out about the warp zones, these fireworks were probably the first sense of mystery I have ever felt in a game before.  Why did these fireworks happen?  How come they only seemed to pop up at random?  How come there are different amounts of them at the end of certain stages?

      It was that point in my life where I thought deeper into the game and tried to figure out this little mystery.....kind of like how Gametrailers does so with they determine if video game myths are fact or fiction.  (You probably already know this, but) it turns out these fireworks pop up when you finish a level with a time limit with the same two last digits.  The number that these digits are, then the number of firework explosions that you will receive.  At first, it caused me to try to time it just right to get a bigger score....but nowadays I simply just try to beat the level as quickly as possible since the highest amount that the score can go to is rather small.

      Even so, this fireworks display is high on the list since it was the first thing that made me think outside the box when it came to games.

       

      #2: Kirby's Fireworks Ability

      The Kirby universe has a fair share of cool looking fireworks, but none can beat the super-epicly awesome fireworks ability that you obtain in Kirby 64: The Crystal Shards!

      This awesome ability allows Kirby to literally spray fireworks all over his body and to become invulnerable for a short period of time.  This attack does a fair amount of damage and has a wide range, making it one of the more useful ones when it comes to crowd control.  However, using this ability forces Kirby to constantly be in the air, so watch out for that.  This ability is a lot of fun since you can constantly spam B and go to town on this attack, launching a barrage of fireworks everywhere.  It truly is a fun and entertaining display---and you're a part of it!

      To get this ability, you must combine the fire and bomb powers to make a fusion.  It certainly makes sense when you think about it.  It's a shame though that it's not always easy to come by a fire and bomb ability to use it on.  Still, it's a lot more common of a fusion than many others.  While it may not be as cool as the ELECTRO ROCK OF DOOM, it is certainly one of the more useful ones in the game.

      Also, MERICUH!

       

      #1: Okamiden Fireworks Show

      Kind of ironic that for a list that was supposedly going to be a Grade A American blog turned out to have a lot of Japanese references in it. .....Who would have thought?

      In Okamiden, there's even a god of fireworks, so that already should get the number one spot right there!  Can't get much more fireworks worthy than that!  Also, there's even like a massive story quest you must go on where you have to help cure the fireworks master to put on a good show.  Yes, you literally risk your life to put on this fireworks show, so it better be good!  And sure enough---it is.  Lots of cool shapes in the fireworks fill the screen of recognizable characters including Chibi's face....I believe.

      Also, this show is mighty impactful and meaningful as well.  The main purpose of this quest and show (other than getting a new power for being the greedy wolf god that you are) is to give a girl (who is about to die in a few weeks from some rare ailment) one final show.  So, needless to say, the fireworks master (Taka....I think) puts on the greatest show possible.  It's even good enough for Fireworks god to approve.  It's also cool to see too in addition at how powerful it is.

       

      And there you have it, a top ten list that I quickly whipped up that unfortunately was a hair too late to make it to the July 4th slot......oh well...  Either way, I hope that you have had an awesome Independence Day!

      Today's GANON AWARD goes to g1 SideSmash for his review on Bioshock 2.  I COMMAND you to view it!

       

       

    • Dark Review: Borderlands

      3 years ago

      darkhyrulelord

      MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAAA!!!!

       

      Greetings dark warriors to a new dark review!  After more than....five months, I have finally fully conquered Borderlands 1 to the fullest.  ....I must wonder how the Completionist managed to do it in only a mere week now that I think about it since this game is rather...big.

      Either way, I got this game on Christmas of 2012.  It took me about a month to get around to finally beating it, but much longer to actually get everything in it.  I got lucky and got the "Game of the Year" Edition that included all four the DLC sets.  ....now that I think about it, I believe the game itself was brand new too, covered in that revered plastic shrink wrap.  I was actually a little bit surprised that I got this game, too, since it was towards the bottom of my wish list (Borderlands 2 was higher, but the person who gave it to me was nice enough to give me both games.  For privacy reasons, I won't say who he is, but he's awesome.)

      Soooo....was this game well worth becoming a vault hunter for five months?  Or am I now a mindless psycho afterwards who wants to strip this game's CD apart?  Let's find out!

       

      THE GIST:

      Borderlands 1 is a FPS that has some RPG and exploration elements intertwined.  This game is VERY big with multiple maps and dungeons to explore and roam around in.  Also, this game could easily take 20+ hours to let alone beat.  This game is mission-based and there are LOTS of story-based and side missions to tackle to get money, XP, and loot.  You level up in this game from XP gained from enemies and enemies also have levels as well to show power.  With each level gained, you can build on a skill tree for extra perks.  You have HP and a shield that can regenerate over time.  If you fall, you have a chance to get back up if you score a kill.  If not, then you respawn at the nearest save station and lose some money....so it's kinda like Pokemon in that regards.  There are other little tidbits you can equip your character with as well that adds a little more RPG element to the game.

      The story goes like this: You are in search of the fabled "Vault" for treasure and power on the dangerous planet of Pandora that is filled to the brim with deadly creatures, bandits, and psychos.  Most people who stay on this planet for too long (most likely) becomes a murdering psycho for living on this planet for too long.  However, there are some towns with some (more) sane people in them such as New Haven and Fyrestone.  A mysterious woman who calls herself "Angel" wants to aid you in finding the Vault.  In addition, others such as the obnoxious robot Claptrap, the crazy Dr. Ned without a medical license, the woman Mad Moxxi, and other insane people are there to help you out....as long as you get their crap done.

      In Pandora, the only way to survive is to kill or be killed.  Luckily for you, a plethora of guns are on this planet for sale to aid you--no refunds.  This planet has very little plant life and usually is covered by deserts, canyons, and mountains (or at least in this game).

      When you start the game, you get to be able to play as one of four "vault hunters" (which I will explain in a sec).  

      One of them is Roland, an ex-Crimson Lance officer who specializes in assault rifles and his super consists of spawning a Sabre Turret.  His super is quite powerful, but the cooldown time to use it again is quite lengthy.

      Another is Mordecai, an assassin who specializes in Sniper Rifles and pistols.  His super is to have his pet bird, Bloodwing, to swipe down at one enemy and deal a lot of damage.  His super is OK at first but kinda underwhelming later.  At least the cooldown time is low.

      Another is Lilith, the siren.  She has magical powers and specializes in elemental weapons.  Her super is to turn invisible and then sneak up behind an enemy and do a lot of damage.  It's OK.

      And lastly, there's Brick.  He likes punching things and specializes in shotguns.  His super is going into a rampage, regain HP, and punch everything in sight with massive poison damage.  It's kinda broken.

      HMMM.....I WONDER WHO I PICKED?

      There's a bit more little tidbits like duels and such but that's the main gist of the game.  You basically go around, shoot lots of things, level up, and do more random missions in search of the Vault and stuff. Although, I must mention that this game can play up to 4 people online, as well.

      DLC-wise, there are four sets.

      One of them is the Zombie Island of Dr. Zed.  In this one, you go around killing zombies and other ghouls of the night such as Wereskags.

      Another is Mad Moxxi's Underdome Riot.  This place is one MASSIVE endurance area where you must go through 100 rounds each in these arenas where the odds are constantly stacked against you.

      Another is The Secret Armory of General Knoxx.  This one increases your level cap, adds a large area to explore, has a secret final boss, has lots of places to use vehicles, and a place where you can exploit powerful guns with.  .....this one is obviously the most popular.

      The last one is the Claptrap Robolution one, where the Claptraps go maverick and declare war against the humans.  It's up to you to kill/convert them back and to put an end to the Interplanetary Ninja Assassin Claptrap and his (its?) schemes.  ....and grind for pizzas and gears (more on that later).

       

       

      THE GOOD:

      For a FPS, this game is quite the fresh breath of air comparatively with other FPS games that are flooding the market.  You now have a sense of freedom instead of being glued to a one-set path of Michael Bay explosions and a "time limit" that other NPCs urge you that you have....even though...there isn't one. *cough CoD cough*  Environments are BIG and you can be certain that you'll remember a good amount of them by the time you are done with them.  Heck, my game even came with this giant, fold-out map that gave out the general area of where 46 maps were located on the Eastern Coast of Pandora.  That's....a lot.

      One thing that this game has going for is that it certainly will give you a TON of bang for your buck.  This game is friggin' huge and it certainly is one epic game that I can easily see being worth $60 on the amount of content alone.  There are hundreds of missions to do and a few of those are certainly challenging and get you pumped--in particular the circle of slaughter ones where you will be pitted in an arena and must survive....or at least the earlier ones where they throw a new enemy at you.

      The art style of this game feels very unique and is colorful when it needs to be and not when it...doesn't.  If you've played the Walking Dead game, then it's kinda like that.  It kind of has a comic book feel to it yet is detailed enough where it would look semi-realistic from far away.....at least graphically.  Pandora has many landscapes that are detailed and some of you you really can't help but gaze at for a brief period in it's larger than life kind of scale with interesting rock formations and such.  There are also little extra tidbits and details to the game that give it a nice touch--such as messages written from psychos to references to Mario and the song "I'm on a Boat".  This game is an interesting piece of art to be sure....a good one at that...at least, artistically.

      This game isn't afraid to make fun of itself at how ridiculous situations are.  Some of it may be forced or too silly, but it doesn't usually go overboard. Claptrap and others will grow on you.

      Some of the enemies in this game--especially the wild beasts--are pretty dang cool.  You will meet some creatures like skags that do nothing but eat and puke, there are guardians that will vanish and reappear, and there are the rakk that fly around and such.  The "Badass" enemies are especially cool and kind of act like difficult random encounters as you will see that they are additional attacks and attributes.

      Speaking of attributes, this game has a surprising amount of depth in its RPG section.  Numbers with damage play a big role later on as you will want to maximize your damage output and use weapons that match with creatures' weaknesses.  You have much customization over which guns you wish to choose, and many of them are highly varied as you will forced to choose better ones over time--which is cool since you can't just use one "god" weapon the entire time like in other RPGs.  You have to adapt.

      The menu system is easily readable and is very...clean and organized.  When you want to see a certain something such as a certain mission you need to do, you can go to it with ease.  The controls are very nice and Gearbox thought ahead by merely having you to tap R3 once instead of holding it down to run.  Running and gunning will feel fluid in no time and the overhead display shows you everything you need to go--including showing you where to go easily.  Also, THANK YOU for being able to infinitely run at top speed.  You have no idea.  Buying and selling items in this game is quick and easy as well.

      Car controls will take some getting used to but before long you will easily get the hang of it.  I find it funny how the car physics in this game will make you stop like a dime when touching a rock and how you fall like a rag doll when tossed in the air in a car.  CATCH A RIIIIIIDE!

      This game was made to play well with others and it shows.  The more people that play, the harder the enemies you get and the better loot you will obtain.  Also, it will be easier to revive others too---and this is a godsend on the Mad Moxxi DLC.  It is nothing short of a wonder that this game can get decent framerate with four people around the world play on the same map with dozens of enemies and bullets flying everywhere.

      Some of the bosses are pretty cool.  I don't want to spoil anything, but get ready for some epic battles on some of them.  Let's just say that I ended up punching a boss in the butt to defeat them--if you recall that one time I was on the Randumb podcast.

      Something really good about this game is that it feels....immersive.  It's easy to lose oneself in this bizarre and dangerous world with the amount of detail added in as you in a world clashing with primitive and sci-fi themes.  It's interesting to say the least.  Fights are also fast-paced as well.

       

      BEST PART?

      Very early in the game, when you meet your first difficult random encounter.  This is when you KNOW that you are in some deep trouble as the game's music changes to an epic tune in a heart-pounding beat.

      It happened to me at Skag Gully (AKA Noob Gully) when a bunch of enemies started to crowd around me at high levels.  When that music played, I was like: "Oh, crap." and was forced to play my A-game despite only learning how to play.  I enjoy how this game throws you into the fire immediately like Majora's Mask does and wants you to learn how to play in a dire situation by yourself.  Awesome!

      By the way I died.

       

      THE BAD:

      You will learn to hate this guy.

      The worst problem that I had with this game is that the combat can start to wear on you and feel monotonous after a good chunk of time.  Once you have gone through every enemy type (which won't take you TOO long), then the game will simply use them...again with either a higher level or a reskin.  It starts to get old fighting through 100+ bandits over and over and over and over again.  You simply shoot them, hope you don't die, shoot some more, avoid their (now) predictable attacks, and shoot some more.  It's hard to explain, but the combat feels really old after a while probably because the most you can really do is to point and shoot, try to combine the best gun for the scenario, and use a little common sense at the occassional time and hope you don't die.  I say that you hope you don't die since there practically is very little you can do to avoid taking damage at a good number of times--especially when not against certain creatures.  Bandits especially are the worst offender since their aim is spot-on.  You really can't do much to avoid a good number of attacks, either.  It's like playing Metroidvania except that now you can't move much, you have a very powerful shield, and you have an attack that will hit 99% of the time.  The best way to sum it up is that this game is one that should be played in bursts--otherwise you might grow bored (especially true towards the later portions of the game and the side missions).  Otherwise you WILL turn into a psycho and be braindead.  MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAA....aaa...

      Also, half of the side missions are very meh now that I think about it.  Especially the ones that require you to kill X amount of creatures.  It's one thing to have to kill 20 Spiderants....it's another to kill 500 zombies AND to collect their brains meticulously. F*** you Gearbox.  Like I've said before, missions that require you to kill X amount of enemies should be BANNED.

      The story itself has potential, but is kinda lackluster as you go on. *minor spoilers* It basically boils to you getting three vault pieces from bosses and then opening a vault. *end spoilers* That's it.  The characters you meet are mostly stationary things that give you missions.  Remember how the Riddler was like in Arkham Asylum where he was merely a voice in your head?  Kind of like that.

      Bosses have WAY too much HP.  Also, enemies in the later stages have too much health too and become bullet sponges--particularly in Mad Moxxi's arena.  They aren't really harder, just more annoying.

      Most of the music isn't anything extraordinary.  There are some exceptions--namely the Fyrestone and the occassional boss theme...but most of theme are too chill or bland to be particularly memorable.

      While this is optional, the things required to get 100% are sometimes extremely tedious (such as the aforementioned brain-collecting) and boring.  More on that later.  I have SO much to say on that part.

      This game is also rather buggy.  When you first enter a stage, the graphics take a while to load and appear fuzzy.  There is also this one hair-splitting bug that truly aggravated me that I shall mention shortly.  Some other bugs are enemies getting stuck, clipping through rocks, framerate issues, and more.  They start to get more noticeable the more you play, frankly.

      There are some portions of the game--even in the main story--where you are forced to grind at.  Perhaps I just rushed through the game a little too quickly, but when I complete all the side missions and I'm still not high-leveled enough to get through something....then something is wrong.  This happened especially in the Knoxx missions where some creatures will instantly kill you.  Speaking of which, one boss requires you to be level 61 to get at.  ....and trust me, having to grind to get at that point suuuuuuuuuuuuuucks since I was level 46 after finishing nearly everything.  I was so peeved that I kinda "cheated" and power-leveled to that point over a buddy online.  I regret nothing.

      I also feel that they recycled a number of....environments too.  Be prepared to see the same style of desert and junkyard areas.....A LOT.

      Lastly, I feel that I need to discuss the system of dying.  Honestly, I don't think it's harsh enough.  When you die, you only lose some money.  And....I don't even recall buying more than 10 things in the game since random drops are better than anything in the store.  So, in other words, there really isn't much penalty for dying.....making this game too easy and more of a grindfest.

       

      THE WORST PART?

      Hoo boy.  Get ready for an earful for one of the most aggravating bugs in my entire video game experience.

      In the Secret Armory of General Knoxx DLC, there is this mission where you must defeat General Knoxx, go through a door that leads to a vault, push a button, and then turn in a mission over this other green panel.  Afterwards, you are forced to go down an elevator immediately afterwards and then steal as much loot as possible within two minutes or so and then get killed from an explosion inside.  There are many problems with this that could lead to a fatal bug.

      One such problem (that happened to me) is if you join a player online that already completed it (and unlock the Crawmerax mission).  If that's the case, then the game will already think that you beaten the DLC and thus you can not turn in the mission since that damn vault door won't open for you.

      Another problem is if you have more than one mission active that can be turned in at the Secret Armory, then it is VERY EASY to miss turning in the mission since you could easily accidentally press the wrong button that would cause the elevator to go down prematurely, and thus miss your chance.

      After 6-9 hours of trying to fix this bug and failing 8 times with various ways of trying to turn in the damn mission including but not limited to: joining others' games until they reach that point, trying to clip through the door, and trying to exploit other bugs that I found on Youtube...you will find that none of that worked.  Also, if you mess up and want to try again, you're going to have to go ALL THE WAY BACK a few levels since the programmers had the bright idea of having only ONE fast travel station in this massive DLC area.  WHYY????  I wasted so many hours driving there just to try again in a new tactic. IT'S NOT FUN and I'm pretty sure that I have memorized those areas leading there by heart.

      This bug would have been VERY easy to fix by having the mission to be turned in outside of the vault. ONE.  SIMPLE.  PATCH.  It's been...what...3 years and they haven't fixed this despite hundreds whining about this same issue on forums?  CMON GEARBOX!!

      The only way I found to fix this bug was to play through the entire DLC allll over again with another account in splitscreen and then to VERY CAREFULLY pick the right buttons/areas to turn the mission in without screwing up anything.  What a pain in the ass.  Also, I'm lucky that this worked, since I heard that this tactic doesn't always work. : /

      This problem was HORRIBLE and is easily the worst in the game.  Not only did it rob many of 100% completion but it also stopped many to be able to beat the DLC.  That vault door is easily one of my top ten most hated doors off all time.

       

      THE EVIL:

       

      Need I say more?

      .....OK, I probably should because otherwise I would be doing this game a MASSIVE disservice.

      Let's go over a theory that I have about the game.  I think that there are so many psychos in the game for a number of reasons, but one that sounds the most....liable is that simply LIVING on Pandora will make you go crazy.  Think about it.  The only way of survival is to constantly kill the beasts around you with guns and knives with days on end.  You are forced to become a carnavore....and possibly a cannibal too. *shivers* The atmosphere might kill a few brain cells as well, and Pandora is practically a wasteland.  Other people around you are crazy as you go crazy as well.  In fact, there was an intercom in the game that mentioned that a group of people were sent to the planet and abandoned there after many died after researching.

      This game has creatures that will attack just about ANYTHING.  Seriously though, what would possess a creature to charge at something that is 10 times larger than it?  Are they THAT desperate for food??  Damn...  I mean, don't creatures usually go the opposite direction after seeing one of their pal's face being turned to mush from a shotgun?

      There is a company called Hyperion that constantly respawns players.....for a price.  I'm sorry but this is a recipe for disaster.  Can you imagine a walking brute with tons of cash and guns being able to regenerate??

      Also, if it took more than one shot, you weren't using a Jakobs.  ....if that's the case...then technically a Jakobs gun would be the most powerful weapon in the universe?  *stops plan on destroying the Master Sword and instead tries to take all Jakobs guns*

      This game is NOT for kids.  Prepare yourself for lots of swearing, inappropriate humor, lots of gore and blood, and...an overall disturbing feeling in general.  They don't call Pandora a dangerous place for nothing now.  Interestingly enough though, I don't recall the game saying f*** one time in my entire playthrough.

       

       

      THE CONQUERING:

      Prepare thyself if you wish to get the Platinum for this game.  This game will take you roughly 50+ hours of gameplay to get this accomplishment.  That's almost as bad as Mass Effect 2. However, this trophy isn't exactly too difficult to get except for a few challenges and sections in the DLC.  ....but be prepared to be dedicated because after you beat the main game and most DLC sections......it's not going to be fun and it's going to be grindy.

      First, beat the game while doing every side mission you can.  ....that's not too hard now?  It will take you about 26 hours though.  Also, I advise you to play with others if you can to get some other trophies out of the way.

      Second, beat the DLC missions apart from Mad Moxxi's one.  If you get glitched out in the Knoxx one, play the entire DLC again but in splitscreen.  ....yeah.

      Third, grind to level 61.  ....or cheat by power leveling. (I don't blame you.)

      Fourth, beat Mad Moxxi's Underdome Riot.  This is really hard and time consuming for a variety of reasons.  For one, you must go through 100 waves of enemies THREE times in domes and they become more ridiculous as you go on.  Also there are rules that change the gameplay!!  Be prepared to spend a totals of TEN HOURS doing this in three hour nonstop segments (heaven forbid you play online and have to go to the bathroom).  Here's some advice if you need some:

      • Play online with other players.  You do NOT want to die here as doing so will force you to go back a few rounds!!
      • Play on a day you have nothing to do.  Also play some good music or you might  fall asleep.  It will get dull rather quickly.
      • Do not give up. (duh)
      • Be a coward.  You will stay alive.
      • If you are really desperate, I heard that there are modded guns online.  I got one AFTER I finished this.... -_-
      • Good freaking luck.

      Fifth is cleanup....and a LOT of it.  Be prepared for a good chunk of annoyingly dull grindquests for brains and pizza (don't get me started---took me about 20 off-game hours to get the amount of oil cans I needed for something).  Once that step is finally done, you did it!  Congrats!

       

      THE VERDICT:

      This game is surprisingly good with fast-paced action with a surprisingly deep RPG element in it as well as a cool art theme going for it.  However, I still feel that this game could be more.  The same types of enemies later start to grow boring and tiresome as you play hours and hours of this game...leaving it to be like Animal Crossing where it should be enjoyed in short bursts.  Playing with others though is lots of fun too.  The main thing going for this game is that it is certainly worth its asking price with the crapton of content that comes with it.  Although, personally, you really don't need to play the DLC since it generally doesn't really add to much.  But, I do recommend playing through the main story or so.  If you want DLC, I'd recommend the General Knoxx one if you must. However, if you are one of those people that need to 100% things....have fun.

      Therefore, I give this game....

      7.0 Psychos out of 10.

      This means that this game is good.

       

      Before I go, however, I still need to discuss about some challenges/reviews from TMoFG and such.  Today I shall discuss Werdman's and A Zero 2 Hero's.

       

      Werdman's Challenge:

      Werdman's Challenge was to beat a score of over 222235 in the orginal NES Tetris.  The only catch is that you MUST start on the highest difficulty setting.

      After trying for about 6 hours of frustration, I couldn't do it.  The highest score I managed to get was 120,000 or something like that.  Here are my excuses:

      • The rotation trick doesn't work in this game.  When a piece falls, it WILL stick.  This already makes it 10x more difficult since I rely on this heavily for tetrises and high speeds.
      • My NES controller isn't as good as it used to be.
      • You need over 22 tetrises to top that score.  For me, this was extremely difficult to even attempt.
      • You cannot keep pieces like in newer versions, making tetrises harder to pull off.

      So you win.  I wanted to let you know instead of leaving you in limbo another year....my bad.

      For those who wish to try: http://www.screwattack.com/video/werdman24s-High-Score-NES-Tetris-2553141

       

      A Zero 2 Hero's Challenge:

      For getting a high ranking in TMoFG, I am supposed to review a flash game called Loneliness.  Also, congrats on making it so high up as well!  No small feat.  ....since the game only to a minute to beat (and I honestly don't have much to say on it....sorry), I'm going to do a.....

      ONE MINUTE REVIEW

      Ready? GO!

      This game is a simple flash game where your goals is to simply make it to the end while trying to have dots to avoid you one the way there .  It seems to get darker as you to on to make it feel foreboding.  You move very slow and you wonder as to why other dots avoid you the whole time.  It doesn't take long to get to the end, and when you do, a message pops up saying that this game was made for those who were lonely since there was a statistic that shown that many people are actually lonely.  Overall, this game is actually kinda boring for me but at least it does an OK job at trying to convey how loneliness can be like to the player. This game is eh.  I give it 4.5 out of 10, meaning that it is slightly worse than average.

       

      ....only that much?  Dah, this blogging program is too slow right now... Like, it types out slower than what I actually am typing, but I digress. (If you wanted more A Zero 2 Hero, I might do another quick review for you in the future or so.)  Here is the link for those curious: 

      http://www.necessarygames.com/my-games/loneliness/flash

       

      Alright.  Today's Ganon Award goes to g1 Walter the Awesome for his thoughts on what Capcom should do with Megaman.  I COMMAND you to check it out! http://www.screwattack.com/news/my-thoughts-and-ideas-what-capcom-should-do-megaman#.UaKw6OHYjow.twitter

       

      Next time on Dark Reviews:

      (......or it might be Paper Mario 4)

    • Dark Review: PlayStation All Stars Battle Royale

      3 years ago

      darkhyrulelord

      MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAA!!!

       

       

      Greetings g1s to another exciting, evil, and long overdue review for a game that came out last year!  Huzzah for being slow to master games!  .....Could be worse.  I mean, I have a bunch of 80's games that still need attention like Faxanadu and Crystalis.  (checks to make sure that I spelled it right to avoid being flamed in the comments)

      Huh....got it the first try.  I'm an evil genius!

      Anyway, regarding the Smash Bros. clone, I got this game on Christmas of 2012 and I was actually quite looking forward to this game enough that I think I placed it on the 2nd of the top listing of games I wanted from the year.  So yeah....that's...quite high for a game that I want considering that 2012 had a lot of great games in it.  My family was kind enough to bestow this game upon me, but...does it hold up to my expectations?  After several months of finally finding the time to get everything and master the game (AKA finally holding my own against Walter's Kratos skills and being able to do OK on online matches), what did I think about this fighter?  Find out below!

       

      THE GIST:

      PlayStation All Stars Battle Royale is more of a non-traditional fighting game compared to most other fighters that are out these days.  It is also a blatant clone of Super Smash Bros., obviously.  However, it has many differences as well as similarities, but right now I just want to focus on Battle Royale at the moment.

      In this fighter, you win by building up your super meter with various attacks on your opponents.  When the super meter is filled, you are able to use an attack that can be used for kills.  Also, this is the ONLY way to get kills as well.  Therefore, connecting this attack on your opponents is CRITICAL to victory.  There are 3 super attacks you can use per character, but they are in levels.  For instance, you can build up the meter to level 1 to use a weak super, level 2 to a more powerful one, and level 3 to one that's almost guaranteed to get some kills on the battlefield.  However, when you use one, that super meter gets spent.  In other words, you need to use it sparingly and use it when you are very confident when you can connect hits with it.

      The fighting style otherwise is 2D and attacks are simplified to the point that there are 12 kinds of special attacks (that are easy to pull off by the way) you could use in the sense that there are 4 per button depending on the direction of the joystick you put it in (Kind of like smash, except that there are 8 more special attacks).  There are no "true" standard attacks like Smash.  Also there are no Light, Medium, Heavy style attacks like in MvC3, nor are there hand/feet attacks like in Mortal Kombat.  This game is kinda unique in that sense since it relies so heavily on special attacks and building up those super meters.  There are also jumping, grabbing (I think--I haven't found out how to use it but the computer does, yet online people never seem to use it), side dodging, and blocking.  Combos can be used, but they are not NEARLY elaborate like the other fighters since this one only has combos that can be done with 3 special attacks in a row or such.  I have found out some combos with Raiden, Drake, and Kratos yet the game has tutorial combos so there's that.

      Speaking of characters, this game starts off with 20 minus the DLC.  They are all available from the start and you cannot unlock any more (unless you have money and are willing to spend $5 per character--CHA CHING!).  About 2/3 of them are Sony characters and about a few of of those are mostly recognizable (unless you are a massive Sony fan).  Some of the more recognizable ones are Kratos, Nathan Drake, Sweet Tooth, Sly Cooper, and...um...the rest are ones that are obscure unless you played more Sony games like Fat Princess, Radec, Sir Daniel, Spike. and Toro (who the hell is Toro?).  The rest are 3rd party characters, but they are more recognizable.  I mean, you probably should know who Big Daddy and Dante are.  Heck, *I* know who Big Daddy is and I haven't even played the original Bioshock...or any Bioshock game for that matter (I need to change this pronto).

      Stage hazards play a fair role in fighting as well.  Some more than others, but you get the idea.  Items also give characters a MASSIVE boost in advantage since some of them pretty much cause you to not be stunned by certain attacks!!  Fear the fish.

      The game has a few game modes.  Ones of note are the arcade mode, the versus mode, and the online mode.  The rest are either training, (tedious) trials, or other random stuff that you probably won't spend much time in.  ....although admittedly some of the tutorials are rather helpful for combos.

      Arcade mode shows a (rather lazy cutscene) of a character's story and then you go through 7 battles along with a rival match and the fight against a final boss of the *minor spoilers but not really* original PS1 mascot.  It's OK.

      Versus mode is the basic mode where you play offline against others.  Basic stuff.  Oh yeah, and you can also face off with your friends on PSN via here too, so massive props for that.  Therefore, you'll probably being playing on this mode a bit.

      Online mode is probably where you will spend the bulk of the time if you play this game since this game was practically made for that.  You are ranked and matched with players in a free for all battle OR in a 2 vs 2 match with a buddy (or minion).  Ranking is determined by your win-match belt stats......I think.  

      There are lots of random unlockables in this game, but they really don't add much other than a picture by your name or something for online matches.

       

      THE GOOD:

      Even though this game looks A LOT like a Smash Bros. clone at first glance, the fighting system feels like it's own thing....for the most part.  In other words, I have to give credit for this game by trying hard to be different.  To me, it certainly feels VERY different from Smash in the sense that setting up combos is more important than trying to chuck them off a cliff.  Grabs aren't as used this time around, and projectiles are more favored since many of the maps are rather large.  Characters and moves feel slower than in smash, but this also causes you to be a little more strategic in moves in order for them to connect.  In other words, this is NOT smash, this is it's own game.  So it wasn't a real ripoff to a T--just something inspired by the game (for the most part....I'll get to it in a sec.)  Combos are also lots of fun to be able to pull off.

      There are lots of cool 3rd party characters to play with indeed.  Being able to play as Raiden, Dante, and Heihachi is pretty cool.  Yes, even Dante.  I SAID IT.  I mean, he probably has the coolest Level 3 super in the game where he gets his signature red jacket and white hair, wields and sword, and where kickass music starts playing while you go crazy.  In fact, nothing is cooler in this game than being able to unleash massive supers on everyone else while they all cower in fear from your might!  MWAHAHAHAHAHAAA!!!

      This game looks very pretty as well.  Stages and moves are highly detailed and everything feels very colorful.  It's fun to see a clash of themes and artwork in conflict with each other with  Big Daddy popping up in a cartoon world.  The stages also clash with other games to where you will see a Metal Gear tear up the background.  Awesome.  It's almost as cool as watching the battle.

      The music is also a plus and it's very appealing to hear many of the iconic tunes from the Sony games remixed and matched with other tunes.

      If there is one thing that this game did far better than smash ever did, it was online play.  It's easily the highlight of the game. I'm glad to announce that there is very, very little lag to be found in online matches....if at all.  I don't why but that's just how it is...and I like it.  Matches are ranked and it is more fun and satisfying to play against others online...even if they may kick your butt now and then.  But hey, not pain no gain, right?  Well, anyway, being able to play with friends is quick and easy and I find the tag team matches online to be a great and needed plus indeed.  I played many matches with Walter and I found no problems with lag...............unlike Brawl matches.

      This game is a perfect match for newcomers for fighters--unlike MvC3.  It's easy to play and takes some time to master.  The tutorials are great, and it's easy to jump in.  My father played it and I think he got the hang of it pretty quickly (even if he seemed to get ticked off of the super meter system).

      The game overall feels very polished with frames per second and pulling off moves feels smooth and reliable, which is definitely a good plus.  This can easily make or break fighters.

      This game can be played on the Vita as well as a cross-buy. .............if you....actually have one of those dusty things. *crickets chirp*

       

      THE BAD:

      The first thing that comes to mind is that the single player modes feel highly lackluster.  While the training is helpful, the rest of the modes feel tacked on and....aren't very thought out....or fun.  The arcade mode is just some unlinked mindless battles after some more with some slightly changed concept like OOO! one more random fighter enters or OOO! one of them is slighly more difficult to face!  *facepalm*  The cutscenes suck, feel not needed, and the final boss is very disappointing.  *minor spoilers* You don't even really face the final boss....just more fighters that act like it's part of it or something.  Couldn't they have AT LEAST had like a Galactus battle like MVC3 did?  Why not have a health bar for it?  Arcade mode is lazy.  The best part?  You're going to have to churn through it 20 times to get 100% in this game.  The trials also feel tedious and lazy and aren't really fun or challenging.  Skip them.  Worst part is that there is no real story mode.  Wanted to enter a cool world with these Sony characters in one universe in a cool fan-fic like story like Brawl did where you enter other worlds?  WELL TOO BAD!

      Also, for whatever reason, this game just....DOESN'T feel as good as smash does.  .....I have a few reasons, I believe.  One is that this game feels a little sluggish in comparison.  I know that this promotes some strategy...but still!  I don't want to feel like jumping in sludge!  URGH! *warlock punches*  Building up super meters feels a bit grindy for me.  Also, missing with a super is the ABSOLUTE WORST feeling you can get in such a short amount of time.  ......and you better prepare yourself to feel this many, many times since you will miss a multiple amount of times.  It's as if you save up all of this money to get an ice cream cone and then some random bully takes it from you while someone else buys the last one.  Yes, even though YOU may have built up lots of super meter, you may not even get ONE kill if you happen to keep missing.  Some supers are easier to connect than others.  It's kinda aggravating when someone gets a kill with only one super meter while you kept missing the whole match.  WORSE is when they get a kill and then try to avoid you the whole match!  WERW:ELRJSLDKFJSLA:LFKJA:L *breaks keyboard*

      Other reasons include that the characters are not balanced.....at all.  The main reason I say this is that some characters (like Radec, especially) simply have better Level 1 supers that are more guaranteed to get a connect with.  Also, Kratos is kinda....broken and some characters can perform combos more easily than others.  I DARE you to be really good with Toro and Sackboy.....it can't be done.  Therefore, prepare to see the same characters over and over online.

      Also, only 20 characters?  No unlocked ones?  What the hell??  Even MvC3 has more unlockable characters!  I want to earn some cool ones dangit!  And why are the DLC ones so dang expensive?  I want to play as Isaac!  I want to UNLOCK fighters, not BUY them!

      Overall, the main beef (or....pork) I have with this game's fighting system is that this feels entirely too luck-based.  You can't turn off stage hazards (to my knowledge), you can miss the only way to kill opponents very easily--only prolonging a match or causing a weaker opponent to win, cause others to run away, make items overpowered, etc etc etc.  Gahhhhh.....  This game feels far too luck-based for me.

      Again, I know that others have said this but, seriously, where are characters like Cloud, Spyro,  Ico, Crash, and Wander?  People recognize them much more, I'm sure.  Square Enix is in trouble due to their ridiculous goals so I'm SURE that they will give up Cloud to enter this game.  Also, a stage where you would fight on top of a colossus from Shadow of the Colosus could be epic.  ......this game could have been SO much more and it is rather disappointing.

      Also there really needs to be more modes.  Or...heck...even more match types would be better so that I wouldn't have to rely so much on supers (and luck) to win.  I know that others have said this but....this game probably would have been better if it copied Smash more.... : /

       

      THE EVIL:

      First, let me say that $5 a character is way too much.  Are you saying that the game should really be worth $100 then since it started with 20?  Tch.  I looked at the store briefly and they nickel and dime practically everything from new avatars to new stages to new themes and they all cost up to $3 each or something.  They seem a bit too greedy for my tastes....

      This game is practically "new game: the advertisement" game that sells out by having all of these 3rd party characters in the game that can be alluded to other new games.  Zeus?  God of War: Ascension.  Dante?  DMC.  Raiden?  Big Daddy?  Bioshock Infinite.  You get the idea.  Not to mention, this game is also a clone of Smash Bros to the point that the vs menu looks nearly identical in color and theme.  This game is shameless and it knows it.

      Oh, and what's up with the clone characters of Cole MacGrath?  REALLY?   ......really. >: /  And yes, they practically play nearly the same apart from 3 special moves.  They copied the wrong things from Smash.  They only needed to add tripping to seal the deal.

       

      THE CHALLENGE:

      Yes, I have decided to add a new segment into this review.  In this segment, I describe the epic journey it took in order to master the game.  Mastering the game to me means that I feel that I have accomplished everything that I could with the game and got the most experience from it as possible.  If the game has achievements or trophies or unlockables of any sort then I try my best to get them.  But if they suck REALLY REALLY BAD or if I simply can't do it (like Dead Space 2's hardcore mode) any time soon then....oh well.  If they don't, then I will try my best to simply beat the game on the hardest difficulty possible.  That's the way I roll.

      Anyway, regarding Battle Royale, this game is actually pretty easy to get 100% on.  ...assuming of course that your only goal is to get the Platinum.  If you are trying to get a super high ranking online or trying to get every character's trials done then....that's another story.  Personally I only went for the Platinum since I think the online rankings get reset every month and I really don't wish to spend ludicrous amounts of time to get into the pro levels.  Also, the trials for each character are actually rather dull and tedious so.....meh.  Not doing that.

      When you first start up the game, go ahead and do the tutorial.  Don't think that you are too cool for school!  Then, go ahead and play some vs. matches.

      ......then comes the more dull part.  You need to beat arcade mode with ALL characters.  While you can do them all on easy, true dark warriors do all-star mode. >: )  It takes a while, but at least you get a feel for all of the characters in the game.

      Next is the fun part.  Now you'll want to invite as many friends as you can and play matches with them.  You'll want to start playing online too for any other online challenges you need.  I got most of them by playing casually, but there was one in particularly that was tricky.  You need to win an online match without dying.  I got lucky with Raiden, but you need to be careful and steer clear of people that have supers raring to go.

      Other than that, just do level 3 supers with all characters, do any cleanup, and you have a new platinum!  Hooray!  It took me about....um...20 hours to do this?  Still, it was pretty dang easy.  I'd give the difficulty a 2.5 out of 10, meaning that it is almost super-easy.

       

      THE VERDICT:

      This game is an OK fighter with superb online play yet lacks a good chunk needed for it be a strong fighter.  If it copied smash more, it would have probably been better off...honestly.  Still, I must give them some credit for at least making it look pretty and trying to be unique in its fighting system.  The online play is quite a bit of fun and it certainly gets the right mood going in terms of setting and such (plus it's easy for people to jump into), but the game feels....in need of more content and the fighting mechanics aren't my favorite.  I consider renting this game first before trying it if you have a PS3.  If you find it for cheap though, I recommend going ahead and getting it for some matches online.  Still, this game is a little disappointing.  It's not bad, but it could have been much more.

      Therefore, I give this game 6.0 Cole Clones out of 10.

      This means that it is above average.

       

      Today's GANON AWARD goes to g1 Canadian Brony on his "Ask Me Anything" blog!  I COMMAND you to see it!

       

      While a Paper Mario Sticker Star review is in the near future, I want to do a request blog next.  Therefore, feel free to request what blog you'll like to see!  It can be anything--a challenge, a review, a top ten, more cards, art, etc.   .....although I think that Paradise and Faries and Sierra Foxtrot have dibs (or at least a higher priority) since I owe them for forgetting them to place them in a certain blog.

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