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    • Name That Goon Round 1....FIGHT!

      5 years ago


      It's too easy to cheat at trivia anymore with Google right at your fingertips so I designed this to be as real a true test of gamer all-around knowledge as humanly possible.


      -It's simple, name these video game characters in the comments below by their corresponding numbers and you will receive points.  

      -The first person to name the goon gets 2 points for each correct answer and 5 points if they somehow get #10 right.  The second person to name the goon will get 1 point a piece and 3 points for #10.

      -You don't have to know them all, but name as many as you can for more points! 

      -Multiple comments are allowed...if you get stumped, come back later and try again.

      -There will be 5 rounds with the G1 knowledge master announced at the end. 

      Enough talk, let's get started!






















      #10 (if you get this one you deserve the bonus points)


      That's all for now stay tuned next week for round two!





    • Top Ten Games I Paid Full Price For

      5 years ago


      10.  Final Fantasy 13

      9.  Dragon Quest

      8.  Dark Souls

      7.  Call of Duty Black Ops 2

      6.  Ni No Kuni

      5.  Final Fantasy Tactics (GBA)

      4.  Borderlands 2

      3.  Dead Rising 2

      2.  Elder Scrolls Oblivion



    • Top Ten Underappreciated Old School Games

      5 years ago


      These are some games that I feel like didn't get the credit they deserve.  Games that, under the right circumstances could have been much more. They just needed some good marketing or maybe just an audience with a little more of an open mind.  Hell, maybe it was just bad box art that screwed them as back then that was about 50% of what got us to reach for our wallets.  All I ask is that you give them a try and make up your own mind.  Providing some commentary is my friend G1 DeadbyDawn, who has a mild case of ADD so you'll have to excuse him if he gets a bit offtopic. Without further ado, we move on to the most shit-on games in old school history....


      10. Crystalis


      In this action RPG our hero awakes from a cryogenic sleep and is thrown into a post apocolyptic world where you must ride dolphins and kill vampires.  And other stuff too but that is what I remember.  I feel like this game took aspects of the original Legend of Zelda and improved upon them and opened the door for games such as Zelda, A Link to the Past.  I'm still not sure if the protagonist was a boy or a girl but he/she wasn't afraid to go full-on androgynist way before it was the hip thing to do.

      "This game taught me that October 1st 1997 was the END DAY.  I waited anxiously for that day and what happened?  Nothing!  What a disappointment, next game." -DeadbyDawn


      9.  The Magic of Scheherazade

      Another quality action RPG here, but I can see why this one failed.  Looking at the front cover the art is cool, but can anyone honestly make out what the hell that says?  Anyway this game revolves around the story of Sheherzasz, Sherazasa, Sherherazas...ok screw it basically there was a king who screwed a different virgin every night then killed her in the morning so he wouldn't have to marry her.  That is until Princess Whatever comes along and wins him over with her, yeah you know where this is going....actually no you don't.  She wins him over with her great storytelling.  Anyway, she gets kidnapped and you, the hero must save her.  To do this you will travel through time and go to hell and back just to find out that she wasn't kidnapped at all.  Yep, so aside from that big FU this was a great game way ahead of its time.

      "The ending is funny instead of 'Your Princess is in Another Castle' it slaps you with, 'Your Princess Was in the Castle the Whole Time, Dumbass'"  -DeadbyDawn


      8.  Evo the Search for Eden

      E.V.O. - Search for Eden Coverart.png

      Back in the day if it was published by SquareSoft of Enix, I had to own it.  I picked this one up and was a little surprised.  Its hard to categorize, but I guess you would call it a platforming RPG.  You progress through different eras evolving as you go along until you eventually reach your god form.  You had choices such as becoming a bird or a reptile, evolving a spiked tail or sharp teeth, and so on.  The stages were pretty diverse, sometimes you would be swimming through the ocean and other times you would be soaring through the skies.  It was very original and in my opinion, not worthy of the horrible reviews it recieved.

      "I grew up in the bible belt so it goes without saying that I wasn't allowed anywhere near this one."  -DeadbyDawn


      7.  The Battle of Olympus

      Battle of olympus.jpg

      Way before Kratos came The Battle of Olympus, a nifty little sidescroller that played a lot like Zelda 2, the Adventure of Link.  Our hero Orpheus is on a quest to slay Hades and along the way he is going to have to meet and kill some of Greece's finest.  This game was brutally hard but awarded your blistered thumbs with great gameplay, some awesome powerups and what seems to be a recurring theme here, riding on dolphins. 

      "If your girlfriend dies what do you do?  You march right down into the pits of hell, kill the devil, and you make that shit right.  Simple."  DeadbyDawn


      6.  Solar Jetman


      In this one, your objective was to gather a bunch of junk and combine it together to make a golden warship.  Unfortunately, it was so god-awful hard that I'm pretty sure no one ever actually completed said warship.  Regardless, I loved it for its orginality...you flew your ship around collecting gems, fuel and other oddities that you could sell and use the profits to upgrade your ship with new weapons, thrusters, or even buy new ships.  The game constantly threw new obstacles at you, and every planet you visited would have a different level of gravity that you would have to deal with.  You also had to keep up with your fuel and if you ran out your ship would explode and you would be ejected and forced to deal with enemies with your humble jetpack and a pea shooter.  Basically, you were screwed.  I love this game and if you can beat it without cheating, you will have earned my lifelong respect.

      "Sanford & Son in space?  Sign me up!"  -DeadbyDawn


      5.  Legacy of the Wizard


      Ok, I can't honestly tell you that this is a great game.  I can't even tell you that it is a good game.  What I can tell you is that it only cost $15 brand new, has great music, and you are going to put some hours on it if you hope to complete it.  You can play as different members of the Worzen family and even their dog all of whom have their own special powers that are specifically suited to the Metroidvania style levels of the game.  I think its worth giving a shot just for the tunes, they are true 8-bit gold.

      "You are really putting this game on your list?  Really?!  Screw this game and its cramp enducing passwords."  -Deadbydawn


      4. Inindo, Way of the Ninja


      I also really enjoyed Koei games, and this one, like many other Koei games, contained my old friend Oda Nobunaga.  The hero is a ninja whose village was destroyed by Nobunaga and you must travel across Japan enlisting the aid of many allies to defeat the evil dictator.  This game had a real time system with passing seasons and to actually beat the game you are going to have to invest at least 20 in-game years.  You fight hordes of monsters in turn-based combat but you must also wage territorial war against different provinces.  This aspect is what really made the game fun for me as you would slowly take over each province until you controlled all of Japan.  You had the option to spy on enemy provinces and even ninja your way into their castles and burn up their food supply or spread nasty rumors about their leaders.  It may be outdated now, but I remember having a great time with this one.

      "Never played it, but you had me at ninjas."  -DeadbyDawn


      3.  Destiny of an Emperor

      Destiny of an Emperor Cover.jpg

      I always get pissed when I see someone talking about Breath of Fire as being Capcom's first stint into the roleplaying genre.  Wrong!  This one came out waaaay back on the NES and it was awesome!  Remember Dynasty Warriors?  Well this game follows those guys as they march across China kicking ass and taking heads.  You had massive army battles play out in turn based combat and sometimes at the end of a battle the opposing generals would offer to join your side.  Personally I love Asian culture and when a game comes along like this I just eat it up.  One thing you had to get used to was that all your spells were listed in Chinese so it took a little trial and error, but trust me after about the third time of beheading instead of healing yourself, you figure it out.

      "The meme that never was?  'An Sha bitches!'  Me and the other 4 guys who played this game are laughing their asses off right now"  -DeadbyDawn


      2.  Zelda II, the Adventure of Link

      Zelda II The Adventure of Link box.jpg

      Best Zelda game ever.  Period.  End of story.  Literally, end of story.  Check the timeline if you don't believe me.  Why does this game get so much hate?  So what if you have a lame overworld view, it was just there to get you from point A to point B anyway.  Yes this game is insanely hard but it is so good.  Great level and character design, awesome powerups, good music and Link gets so pissed when he dies that it gives him an erection.  Tell me that isn't some passion for battle.  I could go on and on but my flameshield is already down to 12% so I will digress before the haters overpower me.

      "In this one Link learns the downward thrust and applies it to his life restoring booty calls....yeah I can't make this stuff up."


      1.  Faxanadu

      Faxanadu NES US box.jpg

      This one holds a special place for me, as I had rented it right before a blizzard and it turned what could have been a mind-torturing case of cabin fever into pure awesomeness.  What can I say, this game had it all.  It plays out as a sidescrolling RPG where you fight your way through some spooky environments filled with fearsome enemies and the absolute best music to be found on the NES.  Whenever you would find and equip new gear you could actually see it on your character, and the somber mood in the towns really put forth a great atmosphere.  The story can be summed up with your character walking towards the town at the beginning of the game, and away from the town at the end of the game.  It doesn't sound like much, and it wasn't, but thats just how games rolled back in the day.  You would have to see it for yourself, as it is hard to explain how about 10 seconds worth of cutscenes sums up the whole story.  I only wish it could have been more popular, I would have loved to visited this world again.

      "The final boss was Ed-209 from Robocop on crack?  Well played Faxandu, well played." -DeadbyDawn

      Thanks for reading and please feel free to rip me a new one I appreciate criticism just as much as the opposite so let it fly.  Also, let me know what games you think have gotten a bad rap or need a reboot in the comments.  Thanks!

    • Top Ten RPG's Part 1

      5 years ago


      10.  Dragon Warrior 4

      9.  Final Fantasy 7 cult mainstream

      8,  Pool of Radiance

      7.  Secret of Mana

      6.  Shadowrun

      5.  Suikoden II

      4.  Ultima IV Quest of the Avatar

      3.  Wizardry 5 SNES

      2.  Ogre Battle

      1.  Icewind Dale 2

      * Destiny of an Emperor

    • Fuzzy Pickles! Earthbound is coming to Virtual Console

      5 years ago


      Get out your baseball bats, as Nintendo company president Satoru Iwata announced that the SNES classic EarthBound will arrive on the Wii U Virtual Console later this year.

      Iwata didn’t go into much detail, he just said that he and creator Shigesato Itoi are happy about the game’s resurrection in North America. Everyone familiar with the series knows that EarthBound is like a traditional Japanese RPG, but is set in modern times. Instead of swords and shields you are using baseball bats and frying pans.

      All that is known at this time is that it will be released later this year. Fans of the series should be thrilled that they will no longer have to pay hundreds of dollars on ebay to play this great game.

    • Confessions of a Nintendo Hater

      5 years ago


      ScrewAttack loves Nintendo.  The ScrewAttack community absolutely adores them.  To see this you have to look no further then the ScrewAttack poll, "What type of fanboy are you?" in which Nintendo won by a landslide.  I, on the other hand, have grown to despise them.  Don't get me wrong, I do not hate the people who love Nintendo and I strongly believe that if you enjoy something then more power to you.  However, I feel like there are a lot of people out there that I consider enablers and if they continue their blind support of Nintendo then I don't see things ever getting better for the big N. 


      To put things into a better perspective, here is a little background giving insight into my gaming history.  The first Nintendo games I ever played were at a friend's house and they were Mike Tyson's Punchout and Super Mario Bros./Duck Hunt.  Like most kids at the time, I was blown away.  Compared to the other consoles of the time the big colorful sprites and beautiful chip tunes were mind-blowing.   I had to have one so after much begging and pleading I got my NES and my first game, The Karate Kid.



      "Crane kick, bitch!"
      I was obsessed.  I couldn't get enough.  Every weekend I would go to the video store and get a new game.   Back then you would pick out the game based mostly off the box art and it was like heaven walking into a Video Outlet and looking up at all those beautiful rectangular boxes staring back at you.  I played through Shadowgate, DuckTales, Solar Jetman, Faxanadu, Zelda, Metroid, Kid Icarus, and I don't even want to get into how consumed I was when Dragon Warrior and Final Fantasy hit the scene.  It got to the point where I was cutting school just so I could get a little farther in Ninja Gaiden.
      Choosing between this and school really wasn't much of a decision at all.
      You would be hard-pressed to name a NES game that I didn't complete.  I had a list on college rule paper of all the games that I beat that was filled out front and back and posted in my room like something you would see at the Smithsonian.   I was the kid with all the Nintendo Power issues and I was the one arguing on the playground about how much better Nintendo was then Sega.  This continued into my teenage years when I got my SNES.  Super Mario World, Final Fantasy 2 and 3,  Earthbound, Secret of Mana, Super Castlevania and Metroid, friggin' Chrono Trigger, and A Link to the Past?  So much goodness, so little time.
      So much YES!!!!
      This is when things started going down hill...the Nintendo 64 came out and I was left wondering where all the great RPG's were?  I found myself bored with the system quickly.  There were a few good games but where was Final Fantasy,  Dragon Quest, Metroid, Castlevania and all the games I grew up loving.  Granted, at that point in my life I was interested in other things but I still needed my gaming fix and it just wasn't being supplied by Nintendo.  It came to a point when Final Fantasy 7 came out I found myself doing something I never thought I would do, buying a non-Nintendo console.  The original PSX had everything I was looking for:  RPG's, Metroidvania, tactics games, stealth adventure, and just general awesomeness.  It felt wrong at first but soon enough the system fit me like a glove. 
      Ok, now I am playing with power!
      I didn't completely abandon Nintendo and owned every system including the handhelds but the Wii was the last straw.  Everytime I saw a Mii, it made me want to puke.  I understand they were just trying to be innovative but the lack of interesting games combined with the kiddie nature of most of their content just could not hold my interest.  Combine this with the countless rehashes and mindless cashgrabs and I couldn't take it anymore.  I went on to hate what Nintendo had become and longed for the glory days of the past.   I wanted Contra, Battletoads, and Metroid, and all I got was Petz, Other M, and Ninjabread Man.
      Please excuse me while I vomit out my eyehole.
      These days I consider Sony and Microsoft even tiered but I lean more towards Sony just for the free online play and the fact that I was hit with the red ring of death one week after my warranty expired.  I still have a 3ds and have enjoyed games such as Fire Emblem, Monster Hunter, and Animal Crossing on it as well as some of the downloadable classics.  If the WiiU ever manages to peak my interest I will give it a shot but I'm not optimistic that day will ever arrive.  I will try to end this on a positive note by saying that the sequel to Link to the Past is one of the better moves by Nintendo and including Mega Man in Smash Bros. shows that they are at least somewhat in tune to what gamers want but for every bit of good news like this there seems to be a flood of negative press flowing in for what even a diehard Nintendo fan would have to label as bonehead moves.
      In a way I appreciate the determination Nintendo fanboys have and maybe I'm a little disappointed in myself for not matching their resolve but everyone has a tipping point and I am way past mine.
      In conclusion, I'm going to keep hating and Nintendo fans are going to keep enabling, all I ask is be careful what you love or you may just get stuck with it.
    • Dark Souls Haunting Part 1

      5 years ago




      total posts: 6409
      since: Jan 2004

      Feb 21, 13 at 12:03pm ^

      re: Spirit of Vengeance Gabriel



      total posts: 267
      since: Aug 2011

      Feb 21, 13 at 11:58pm ^

      re: Spirit of Vengeance Gabriel

          Kenny G

      unwashed heathen

      Feb 22, 13 at 8:35am ^

      re: Spirit of Vengeance Gabriel

          Kenny G

      unwashed heathen

      Feb 22, 13 at 8:43am ^

      re: Spirit of Vengeance Gabriel



      total posts: 3
      since: Feb 2013

      Feb 24, 13 at 1:27pm ^

      re: Spirit of Vengeance Gabriel



      total posts: 267
      since: Aug 2011

      Feb 24, 13 at 11:27pm ^

      re: Spirit of Vengeance Gabriel


      He does so man drugs man
      (category mod)

      since: Feb 2005

      Feb 24, 13 at 11:32pm ^

      re: Spirit of Vengeance Gabriel





      Feb 25, 13 at 3:38am ^

      re: Spirit of Vengeance Gabriel     Kenny G

      unwashed heathen

      Feb 25, 13 at 7:31am ^

      re: Spirit of Vengeance Gabriel



      total posts: 3
      since: Feb 2013

      Mar 04, 13 at 7:40am ^

      re: Spirit of Vengeance Gabriel


    • Top 6 Old Guys in Games

      6 years ago


      Over the years there have been many polarizing older characters portrayed in gaming and today we are going to count down the top 6.  First, lets set a few ground rules:  they have to be over 50 and they have to be badass.  Ok thats it, let us begin.

      #6 Shun Di


      This drunken master from Virtua Fighter  turned 100 a couple weeks ago and can still back brain kick you while chugging a pint of sake without spilling a drop.  Sure, he needs a nap after kicking your ass but mess with this man and you will end up KO'd and covered in his vomit...not a good day.




      #5 Tellah

      Tellah from Final Fantasy IV gets in on his bard griefing abilities.   Whether spooning bards or forking squids, Tellah gets shit done.   He has all the stereotypical elderly traits from his thick spectacles to his inability to remember his spells.  But when he does remember his spells, you better BTFU because shits about to get real.




      #4 Sully

      Sully from the Uncharted series gets in because he is cusses every 4.7 words.  Also, if you have Nate climb up and down a 400 foot cliffside 5000 times, Sully will follow you up and down it EVERY TIME.   Tell me that's not some dedication for a man pushing 60.




      #3 Shang  Tsung

      Probably the oldest guy on the list, Shang Tsung's super powers include eating your soul for breakfast and stroking his fu man chu.  Truly a sick individual, we can only imagine what this pervert does when he changes into Sonya behind closed doors.




      #2 Cranky Kong

      He will dual wield his walking sticks upside your head if you don't get off his lawn, or at least bring him a banana.  Among his memorable quotes are, "Are my old eyes playing tricks?  I'm sure I have seen that beaver before.'" and also "As I rock my beard swings."   Crap, I fogot he was a gorilla and not technically over 50 years old...oh well, too late now.




      #1 Big Boss

      Not seeing Big Boss is a big part of his appeal.  Hell, you may have even played through MGS3 with him and not known it until you put on the eye patch.  It's not really clear whether he's bad or good, but if you didn't feel it when Snake lit that stogie for him, you may just be a heartless nazi my friend. 


      I'm sure I missed alot so feel free to discuss your favorites below, and also I'm interested to know if you would like to see your favorite video game characters age in their respective games.  Is seeing an old Link sitting around a fire or an aging  Samus telling her grandchildren war stories something that would appeal to you?



    • Popular Preacher Says Gamers are Stupid

      6 years ago


      A friend of mine recently posted this on his Facebook page much to my chagrin.   As a lifelong gamer this kind of generalization and condescending attitude towards gamers pisses me off to no end.  I am not the type of person to belittle or insult someone's religious beliefs and I would appreciate the same courtesy extended to me and what I want to do with my free time.  I am hoping the G1's can watch this and reach out in some sort of medium to give this prick a piece of their mind. 


       I don't want this to turn into a theological argument because everyone is entitled to their own beliefs but I feel like this guy has crossed the line and is intentionally trying to insult and belittle gamers by calling them selfish lazy quitters.  Let me know what you think in the comments below.

    • R.I.P. Demon's Souls

      6 years ago


       It's a sad, sad day....

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