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    • Five Reasons Why I'm a Terrible Gamer

      6 years ago


      I'm not the worse of the worse. I've never called a system a "Nintendo machine" or the "Playstation 360" like my mom, but throughout my life I've been surounded by Awesome hardcore gamers. Pretty early on I realized I was just horrible. These are some of the main reasons why.

      5. I have Player Two-itis (aka Younger Sibling Disease).

      Like this except with less smiles and more punching... so nothing like this really.

      Growing up I was always the youngest kid in the group, seven years younger then my brother. As every kid knows, player one and who gets to play any game first is decided by age. By the time I was able to play anything I'd usually watched him play through it three or four times. I'm so conditioned into waiting and letting other people play first that I'll preorder a game and then turn around and lend it to a friend.

      4. I enjoy watching people play almost as much as I like playing.

      Some of my earliest video game memories are of watching my brother play early Final Fantasy and Zelda games. These stories were WAY better then any Little Mermaid and Care Bears I could have been watching. I was obsessed. One boring summer my brother played Ocarina of Time almost every day. And I watched Every Single time. Epona's Song was my lullaby.

      The downside to this of course is here I am, 22 years old and I still love watching. This doesn't seem like a problem until someone asks you what you did over the weekend. Having to explain that you spent it sitting quietly (so you wouldn't break their concentration) watching someone play Shadow of the Colossus is a sure way to get confused looks and head shaking.

      (and I had nightmares of falling or being trampled on for Weeks)

      3. It takes me FOREVER to finish a game.

      Seriously. It will take me weeks, months, if not Years to finish a game. (In this case) Slow and steady does not win the race. Slow and steady gets her friends mad and gets spoilers up the wazoo. For a while one of my biggest worries was of someone asking me what I'm playing because then They Would Know. But then I got over it when I realized that I could use the "oh man I've just been so busy lately" excuse.

      It doesn't help that I am incredibly easily distracted by small details.

      "but man, Really, LOOK at those rock formations!" and two hours later I will still be looking at mountains.

      2. I'm not a fan of online gaming.

      And for this I feel like a horrible friend. I am sorry. I am horrible enough on my own. I don't need to play and have the whole interwebs see. Truely, you don't want me there. A good friend, after Years (I'm not exaggerating, I'm talkin like four/five years) of begging me to get into WoW, set everything up for me so we could keep in touch once I moved. After two weeks he called me to tell me that he was wrong. This was not a good way for us to keep in touch. We would not stay friends if my level of Suck continued. We're still friends. We choose to ignore those few weeks. I did try to warn him.

      1. I am really, Truely, horrible at most games.

      There are a million and one things that factor into this. I have can't-see-an-inch-past-my-face-without-glasses vision. I look down at the controller occasionally to remind myself what is where. It doesn't matter that I've been playing video games for as long as I can remember, I have the same level of skills as a five year old.

      And not nowadays five year olds because I'm pretty sure this kid could kick my butt too.

      The thing is I am passionate about my terribleness. I know I'll never be as good as most of my friends or the people here on Screwattack, but that's not what being a gamer is about. I love video games. I love the stories, I love the graphics (horrible or breathtaking), I love the emotion, the humor, the laughter, the memories made.

      So I'll be the first to stand up and admit it. Hello, I am a Terrible gamer. But I still love gaming just as much as you.

    • The First Game You Played With Friends

      6 years ago


      Now back in the day when I was a young-un, I didn't have too many friends. Being a huge fantasy nerd, loving video games and bein' queer on top of it all wasn't exactly prime real estate to be one of the popular kids. Of course I have a huge family and I watched the older kids play stuff all the time, but I wasn't allowed to join in since I was the baby and a girl but that's a story for another time.

      I'll admit, I am jealous of other gamers who have great memories of playing things like TMNT or Contra with their friends. It might be because I'm partially ashamed of the first game I played with friends. It wasn't anything particularly cool or popular and it was completely different then anything I'd usually play. I was 12 and RPG's were the Best and Only thing I would play. Until I became friends with a girl who was my polar opposite and thought those types of games were boring and felt too much like homework.

      She invited me over to play video games and I was Ecstatic. Finally after all these years I'd have a nerdy friend to play video games with. I didn't have a GameCube so I was even More excited to find out we'd be playing something on it. I came in antsy and excited, sat down on the couch as she popped the game in and then was confused.

      Confused because of Animal Crossing.

      I'd never heard of it before. And it looked like a game that was... geared towards 12 year old girls. Which I was, BUT STILL. So she handed me the controller and explained things to me as I played. Collecting furniture, shaking trees, running errands. It all sounded so Boring. But two hours later I was still playing. I was hooked. We played in shifts almost the entire weekend. Paying off bills and perfecting our house. And I learned something that weekend. Not all games had to tell an epic story and teach you a great lesson. Some games were just fun and repetitive and a way to pass time with friends. It was a good thing to learn, especially at that age when everyone is obsessed with being the most popular or most intelligent. It took me down from my gaming purest high horse.

      Most gamers I know have specific, vivid memories of the first time they played a game with a friend and something about that makes me incredibly happy. I love that games are such great parts of peoples childhood. So how about you, what was the first game you played with a friend?

    • The Things We Remember

      6 years ago


      The picture above is from a few years ago. I was  absorbed in a certain MMORPG.  My neice, being the awesome kid that she is, decided she wanted to be like me and grabbed the portable dvd player and pretended to be playing something as well.  That game will always remind me of my neice.

       Some games will always remind you of a particular person, time, or place in your life. Ocarina of time will always remind me of summers with my brother. DDR will always remind me of my first major crush on a girl, a mix of j-pop, and flashing lights. The smell of old wood will always remind me of my first apartment, and playing a ridiculous amount of The House of the Dead only to have nightmares for weeks.

      It's an awesome thing about games. Sometimes you'll pop something in and find yourself thinking of things you haven't in years.

      The memories aren't always happy. Final Fantasy X reminds me of lonely days and losing my grandfather, I've never been able to play it all the way through since.

      There's something about the color, the sound, the experience of a game that sticks with your memories. It's something that I'll always love.

      You never know what you'll remember.

      Or forget.

      Only to remember again when the thud of an arrow and the drumming of hooves comes through your speakers.

      So tell me, what are some of your strongest memories related to gaming?

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