• Activity

    • EA nominated for worst company in America AGAIN!

      4 years ago

      pandaraph

      Well boys in girls, just moments before Head CEO John Riccitiello, The Consumerist nominated EA as worst company in America once again! and for the first time in history, a company has made into the running after winning the previous year!

      http://consumerist.com/2013/03/18/here-are-your-contestants-for-the-2013-worst-company-in-america-tournament/

      AHAHAHAHAHA, BAHAHAHAHAHA YOU FUCKING ASSHOL....
      aHUMMM.....excuse me
      Well looks like we will be in for another wonderful show! full of Sites like IGN and SHITKAKU defending them like the butt hurt ground control babys they are! I for one am taking part in the voting process and you should too, cause its just fair that after this company stated there enforcment on all upcoming games to have forced online multiplayer, Turning Overstrike into generic shooter the game, Forcing microtransactions, and the huuuuuuuuuuuuuuuugggeee stink over the halfed ass Mass Effect 3 ending and SimShitty, this would just be perfect timing for EA to earn such an award.
      and I plan to vote for them every step of the way
      one last thing 
      AHAHAAHHAISASAJJAAHAHAHAAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAYOUFUCKERSHAHAAHSHAAHSAHAHAHAAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
       
        
      Keep it fresh
    • You can edit, tweak, and destroy other players city's in Sim City

      4 years ago

      pandaraph

      It seems as though a YouTuber by the name of UKAzzer has found a way to go into anyones account and literally take over there city by tricking the games online functionality from seeing you as just a mer viewer to you owning the city!

      Thus, you can take total control of the city! For more info how, check out the video description. UKAzzer stresses that nothing was synced to the severs, but I'm sure that wont stop players (like me) from wreaking havoc on a city near you!

      This also shows that you can screw around with your city without it being permanent, another issue that has been stressed by players. Boy oh boy EA, looks like we have yet another entry in your tale of woe, hope those microtransactions work out for you guys!

    • The Top 10 Reasons You Should Masturbate to Metal Gear Rising: Revengence

      4 years ago

      pandaraph

      Our good old friends at platinum games have collaberated with our baby Kojima to create another fantastic viddie game, and what a treat it is!

                           you silly goose, you cant hide from us~        
      its full of action, suspense, and a plot that goes everywhere at once!
      it is the ultimate fapping material currently on the gaming market, and her is a list why I say so.
      10
      Talking robot dogs

      Otherwise known as the hyper mega death kitty, Blade Wolf is the first robotic talking animal companion in the series, get out the lube kids
      9
      They breifly talk about Snake

      Though he presumed dead, after watching the future of the world he helped create.

      8

      Sombreros

      Adios, Amigos
      7
      BECAUSE YOUR ALL SICK F*CKS

      Solis....MORE LIKE LOLIS AHUEHUHEUHEUHNDUBHN
      no really shes ten years old, dont.
      6
      Robotic Waifus

      Mistral is one fine piece of lady, 
      mmmmmmmmm
      brown
      cute
      a cyborg created to kill anything in her path with dozens of arms.
      yup, why isnt your pee pee out?!?
      5
      Cats that defy science

      no matter what you do, you can never defeat the greatest od adversaries
      4
      Hikari-Chan

      Uguu~
      3
      Amazing Combat and gameplay that puts DMC to shame

      in all seriousness, this game is god damn fun, fast paced and tactical the machanics of this game will sink your teeth in as you tear up bodies and robots with your katana and other weapons in your arsenel, play it on the maximum difficulty for a true experince, youll hate this game until you love it like Bayonetta and the early Devil May Cry's before it.
      2
      THE MUSIC SWEET BLISSFUL ORGASMS TO THE EARS

      THE BOSS THEMES BECOME LYRICAL AS YOU FIGHT, JESUS I DONT KNOW IF BOSS BATTLES WILL BE AS IMPACTFUL WITH THIS CHOICE IN GLORIOUS SOUND DESING!
      1
      OUR LORD AND SAVIOR SENATOR ARMSTRONG, THE GREATEST FINAL BOSS IN THE HISTORY OF VIDEO GAMES, A BLESSING FROM GOD, A NIGHT IN THE DARKNESS, PRAISE HIS GLORIOUS NAME FOR GENERATIONS TO COME GOD BLESS YOU AND YOUR NANOMACHINES!

      HE IS OUR JESUS

      THOSE MUSCLES, THOSE POLITICS, HES PLAYED COLLEGE BALL YOU KNOW, COULD HAVE GONE TO STATE IF HE HADNT JOINED THE NAVY

      HE IS THE RESON TO PLAY THIS GAME AND CONTINUE TO PLAY IT FOR YEARS TO COME
      GOD BLESS YOU STEVEN ARMSTRONG
       
      and that is you have to fap to this game
      just hope the serious fans arnt to mad about the retconed storyline and the plot

      OH NO, THE FANS ARE LOOKING FERIOUS AT KOJIMA, THERE IS THE HIT

      ITS ALL DOWNHILL FROM HERE FOLKS
      til next time kiddies
    • My Top Ten Favorite Youtube Poops!!!

      5 years ago

      pandaraph

      Youtube Poop.............

      DISCRIPTION UNAVAILABLE MAH BOIS

      Well okay I'll try. Basicaly there short moments of insanity that arise ussualy one youtube consisting of clips from tv shows, video games with vulgarity and furry jokes. With poops there are ussualy 3 main goals in mind for the audiance. these are to invoke laughter,  annoyance and every once in awhile, to blow your mind into utter shit. Many Poops have become huge internet memes and many creators use the sorces from mostly unearthed pieces of shit like the Zelda CDI games or the Adventures of Sonic the Hedgehog. But recently, Youtube Poops and there popularity have been dying down, earither from lack of interest in favor of repetitive rage comics or Viacom and Youtube being assholes and taking down every poop they find. So without anymore from me, I present...

      My Top Ten Favorite Youtube Poops!

      10.

       

       9.

      8.

      7.

      6.

      5.

      4.

      3.

      gay lions

      2.

      Though technically not a youtube poop, this stands out as a masterpiece, taking a piece of ass game and turning it into art~

      AND NUMBER ONE!!!!!

      I swear, I doubt ANYONE has seen this before on Screwattack!

      Okay well thats all guys! eh Ive been really lazy recently, I promiss to put up more blogs and get back into the community funk! Love yall!

    • Pokemon Black & White 2 Gym Leader Music (last Pokemon)

      5 years ago

      pandaraph

      Found this awesome new re-done version of the gym leaders  final pokemon theme of Black and White 2! Enjoy!

    • PANDARAPHS 2012 YEAR IN REVIEW ELECTRIC BOOGALOO. PANDARAPHS AWARD SHOW!

      5 years ago

      pandaraph

      ITS THE FIRST ANUALE 

      and much anticipated

      PANDRAPHS YEAR IN REVIEW ELECTRIC BOOGALOO

      Well time to put my thoughts down on my all time favorite things of the year, personaly.....I thought this was a shit year for games :/ not alot seemed to grab my atention and for I was more occupied playing older games than anything new, so here is how my little ceromony is going to work.

      1. All games from all years are accpeted so long as I have just played them this year
      2. No HD rerealeses because thats just not fair guys <w<
      3. I want an adult sized craby patty

      ALRIGHT LETS GET THIS SHIT IN GEAR

      Best game for when your taking a dump

      Pokemon Conquest: Nobunagas Ambition

      No other handheld title had me invest so much to into it and man are those character desings the bees knees! Pokemon Conquest came out around summer and for the most part consumed mine, either on car rides, lying in my bed at night or taking a massive fresh one, this game seemed to be attached to me like a siamesse twin. This was also one of the few pokemon titles to drasticaly change up the formula yet still retain a level of quality and fun like the major releases! the only thing I could hope for in the future sequels -if any are planned- are more pokemon and more characters with clevage!

      Gutsy Move Nintendo 
       

      Most abismal pile of ass!

      Metro 2033

      because it wouldnt run properly on my pc, crashing it and corupting some files....fuck you I dont care, it probably is a good game, but its a bitch so enjoy the award.

      Best social happy fun times!

      Minecraft

      yeah its mincercraft, I got this game around the end of summer and for awhile I was really hooked on it! building my house/castle thing, digging everywhere, adopting 100 puppys and putting them in the basement of my block house....but then things just got old fast, until I joines MINEATTACK! helping my small cimmunity of UK freinds and talking for hours over skype, they were good times : D, though I havnt been playing alot as of late, I still find enjoy out of the online when I am on.

      BEST ARTSY HIPSTER PROBABLY ACTS LIKE ITS TO DEEP THAN IT IS GAME -pssttt its not fez because that game isnt art to meeeeee-

      Journey

      I have a phobia of deserts, I dont know why, I just dont like them. you can starve, get attacked by scorpions and shit, and catch on fire probably. whenever a game has a desert setting, I gradualy move away from it. but I managed to truck on in Journey, with my one companion the whole ride through until the end, and trecking through that waste land was worth it, because jesus this game ozzes with atmosphere and beauty, the ending is well worth seeing for your own eyes, and the coop pays off in the end.

      GAME OF THE YEAR 

      HOTLINE MIAMI

      This year was fucking boring to me, there wasnt a single big budget title that caught my attention -Anarchy Reings almost did, BUT NO FUCKING GETS PUT BACK A YEAR FOR NO REASON AT ALL-

      Still, there was one game I bought on a whim after seeing a few guys from /v/ rave about

      and

      just

      wow

      like

      JAKE IS THE BEST MASK

      I believe everyone and there grandma should check this game out, its twitch gameplay makes you feel a real feeling of vulnrability, but once you get a hang of the controls, the game makes you feel like an unstopable killing machine, a god mowing his way though grunts with blood and brain matter litering the halls on your march to total destruction. Its fucking satisfying, like taking a drug.

      Waifu of the year!

      Lily Satou

      Because she is the most beautiful fictional character to ever exsist. Play Kawata Shoujo....its good for the feels and the desu

      SEE YOU NEXT YEAR GUYS! 

      I need a nap.

       

    • My opinion of Rare and whatever the Hell happend to them

      5 years ago

      pandaraph
                A quick word from Gruntilda "ugly green bitch"      Grunty Gif talkin and shit

       " The 90's were good and full of glee! But in the 00's we made you pee"  "To think Microsoft would put us on the map. But then are games turned into crap!"

      Yup Grunty, you summed up things pretty well with that little rhyme, now its time for me to.....you know what fuck it, I'm not rhyming and dont expect me to.

      BUT HEY GUYS, REMEBER WHEN WE GOT GAMES LIKE THIS?!?!?

      AND THIS!

      OH AND SWEET LORD THIS?!?!?!

      Huh.......no? oh really now? well maybe because back in our day "for those who remeber"

      RARE WAS ONCE GOOD AT MAKING GAMES!!!!!!!!!

      yeah they did! damn good ones too! really good ones, like Donkey Kong Country, Banjo, DK 64, Conker, Killer Instinct, Perfect Dark, 007 just about all the games they made in the 90's were masterpieces in there on right and they could tackle seemingly any genre and suceed with a form of mastery only they could achieve, Racers, FPS, Fighting Games and most of all platformers. Much like what Jon Tron has stated before me "they were the beatles of video games" well.....Microsoft must have been there Yoko Ono.

      Now lets take a more personal look

      Lets see...I was like....7 when the original Banjo came out, I had an N64 and the only games I had were Pokemon Stadium, Tetris Sphere, and 3 copies of Mario 64 (People didnt comunicate what presents I got for my birthday, but shit I didnt care) still, I had multiple copies of Mario 64, so we went down to the local game store in Newark California, it was a quirky place with tv commercials of emploies green screened running away from zombies from Resident Evil 2 as an anouncer screamed about the HUGE deals awaiting you at the store! (ah nostalgia) so we went down there with my 2 spare copies of Mario and traded them in for store credit. From the vast selection of games, one somehow caught my eye, I dont remeber reading previews about it before or seeing anysort of comercial detailing it, I dont remeber exactly why I picked it up, but I did, and it may have been one of the best desicions I have ever made in my life! it was a treat for the eyes, full of color, witty fun characters and oh god my OCD leves peaked! also, it tought me HOW TO READ! yes it was a marvel of a game, and it would only get better!

      TWO YEARS LATER!

      Banjo Tooie comes out and floors me! "okay I also had Perfect Dark and Goldeneye, but I didnt apreciat them until later in my life" anyways,

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    Your most excellent little wanker. I like viddy games

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